*cuddles Aeryn*
Whats up hunni?

*offers Aeryn a hug*

can't do this anymore.

i really can't.

want to talk about it hunni?

i want out of my head.

i just want to live like everybody else seems to.
it just isn't fair.

I know bad things aways seem to happen to good people.
Is there anything that has triggered this?

just me being me
i think my tablets make me worse.

i can't even feel myself cutting myself when i do.
oh i'm scared of myself

Aww hunni, is there no one you can call to keep you company and distact you?

my parents are downstairs.
they know i cut myself, but i'm not very good at saying when i need help.

and i feel guilty for distressing them so much.

I am sure they would rather worry for you hun than to know that your suffering in silence.
Maybe you could just go down and sit with them for 30mins or something. Bit of company.

i could chances are they'd make me feel worse - they are both manic depressives and are both currently off work wallowing in self pity.

gosh i love my family.

hmm what about going out to a friends then? Or even ringing a friend for a little while.

i could go on msn.
as my phone got stolen and i haven't got a new one just yet - hence not having numbers - my mum does have a few of my friends numbers on her phone though.
i might just try and go to bed in abit.
i won't sleep - but laying in a dark room calms me sometimes.

Worth a try then. Just be careful with yourself.

i try to... honestly.
work sacked a girl a few weeks ago for self harming behaviour.
i need my job.

Where do you work?

Morrisons Cafe.
Fun.
not.

ah. hmm can they sack you for things like that?

legally no.
it's unfair dismissal.
but how many self harmer's are going to stand up in front of a tribunal and say "i cut myself and they sacked me for it"?

so far they haven't guessed with me yet. *fingers crossed*

they cant sack you for that?!