*squishes alexx*

gives u some tamazpam so u can sleep well tonite

Im meh atm...haven't had much sleep tonite, oh well haha

Hi in here - hope you feeling more peaceful than I am - I'm feeling really churned up and am scarred at the moment. Please let it be OK

*hugs Emma and Helen and Jem and Alexx and Chloe and Ally and Katey Lou and Susan and Katch and all the other lovelies in here*

have been very much hiding and full of weirdness but i am thinking of you all and i <3 you all and ummm Alexx honey ears bleeding is very scary and very not normal so hun i hope you told your docs? could be a bad ear infection and if those get bad enough you can have hearing loss and other things so pls be careful

*goes back to hiding under a duvet in the denial tent*

Thankyou Jeremy ^_^

:blink: hearing loss?
I have an appointment on Tuesday so I'll mention it then.
I really want him to give me something to give me something to make me sleep. Last night was scary coz I woke up thinking I was someone else and got really violent...sleeping pills probably wouldnt help but...I hate waking up all the time >.<
oh well *sigh* :/

*tucks Emma in and gives her a teddybear*

I'm sorry for everyone who is hurting or havi ng ahard time - I've got to go - I'm hoping i can make up a feasible excuse to get out of the house - just for a while - go for a drive just get away - i need to. Take care everyone and hugs to you all. Sorry to just pop in and out like this - I'm so restless.

Hey callie *squishes u* u okies hon?.

I hope ur okies Katch...do tc htere *hugs*

aww Jeremy thanks. i think i am probably actually not but i dont care anymore so i'm fine really - have had an epiphany and now realise that none of it matters so i am going to do whatever i want. it's a very nice epiphany. it probably will be replaced by another epiphany in the next day or so in which i realise that i do have to care and deal with things but as for right now i don't care.

Katch take care of yourself and do what you need to and take a break and go for that drive - i love driving it is the best therapy ever and way better than talking to psychotherapists i should market driving therapy to the drug companies and medical companies and make millions

Alexx feel better and if the bleeding ear happens again before tuesday dont wait for your appt call your doc or the hosp or something and tell them all about it because they may want to see you sooner

Jeremy look after yourself too honey *squishes you back*

Hi everyone i've come to join you cos its crap here tbh
*hugs everyone tight*
sorry everyones having such a shitty time
i'm going to hide over in the corner now xxxx

I have hearing loss lool.

Ahhhh I'm far too hyper hehe :) xxx

Sirry I'm still not really supporting people, I hope you're okay :D

I went for a short drive - would like to have gone to the other end of the world (if there was an end) trying to decide if it's best to sit in here or sit alone but I don't want to be alone right now - I'm scared of me and I'm scared of being on my own. I feel like I am falling apart - my heart is beating so fast. I'm sorry for going on about myself but I'm normally good at responding to others but right now I can't. I want someone to help me but I don't have anyo ne to ask. i dont know what to do.

Hi katch
have you tried deep breathing? like really really deep and slow
if you do it long enough your heart will slow down
whats making you feel so bad?

Jo xx

I am trying to but i dont feel too good - i wan t it to stop but i cant think of how to make it - it seems so loud. i feel so ashamed about the stuff i wrote and so dissapointed -i want to wrtie it all - i want to tell someone the stuff that hrts me so much but how can i when i feel so bad for writing the bits that i have written. it seemed a good idea but now i feel so bad I shouldn't have done it. it's such a secret what if they know, what if they see me panic. i'm trying to breathe deeply but it seems really fast

don't feel bad, its ok to write these things down, its good if it helps you.
how will they know?
Keep breathing deeply and slowly, try counting as many in and out as you can.
i have to go to bed now, nurses give me meds that knock me out but pm me if you want to talk about anything xxxx

i fooled them!! they thought i'd taken my meds, how stupid!!!!!!!

sorry i'm not great tonight and i'm in the house on my own all night!

Hi there Katey-lou, where's everyone gone

*nervously checks in*
:ermm: I don't wanna be here, but the "sane" part of me says I need to be. :crying:

*hugs everyone*
Sounds like y'all could use some hugs.
*sigh*
Me too. Mostly because I'm just so damn FLAT... these meds, I can't really feel much of anything :-( But what I do isn't good... And I'm still thinking about killing myself... this time I think partly to get away from not feeling... and besides, I don't know what I'm going to do after I finish uni... Where I'm going to live, where I'm going to work... It doesn't look good and it feels rather hopeless and if it's hopeless then why continue living:crying:?

Sorry, y'all don't need my drama to add to your problems...

hi, the hugs are really welcome - and you can feel free to chat about anything you want - I'm just not good at replying tonight. I can hug you back though

mum gone out to her school leavers prom. sisters staying at her friends all night mum staying out too.

Hey Amanda, welcome.
None of us really want to be here but after a while it becomes home
*hands you tea tray with tea, coffee, cakes and biscuts*