*checks in*

Don't know what to do for the best...

*hides*

*hugs sapphire* do you want to talk about it?
*hugs m0nk* feel better :)
*hugs rainbow* what's up?
*hugs alexiaJayy*

Had terrible nightmares last night about being hospitalized... it was horrible... I have been frightened of something all morning and I don't know what or why... I feel like I am slipping and the voices are getting louder...

*checks in

*hugs skinny* how are you doing?

Not great right really feeling like ending it x

*hugs skinnylove* I hope things get better for you

As for me, I am writing as my psych said to, but my writing is all over the place... I am frightened by my nightmares that I get each night now

Def not in a good place right now.. no sir *hides in the corner and rocks*

Not in a good place right now beginning to feel really depressed and ****

*checks in*

It has been a long time since I've checked myself into here. I guess that I won't know most of you, yet I hope to find some relief here.

The last five days my depression has been building. I can barely bring myself to get out of bed in the mornings because each day I am more depressed than I was the day before. A lot of time I end up bawling my eyes out and not even able to tell anyone - even myself - why I'm crying. Lately I've been clenching my jaw in an attempt not to open my mouth because I know that if I do the tears will start to fall.

Dealing with me is hard, but now my fiancee is unwell as well. He's semi-psychotic and the hospital system here is .... well let's just say I can't take him to the hospital unless he's dying. For two days I've been nursing him, treating him with diazepam and xanax to help keep him calm. I don't know how to cope with both of us right now. At least I get some time when he's asleep.

I really don't know what to do right here, right now.

Hey Kahlia, don't worry you're not the only oldie checking in-I used to be RAWWR.
Sorry things aren't going too good for you at the moment, i'm sorry I don't really have any advice-things aren't going too well for me at the moment and my head doesn't work too well anymore, I want to offer my *hugs* and I hope things get better for you you soon.

*hugs for all in here*

*puts some goodies on the table*

Everyone is clamoring at me to get back on meds before I end up getting too much worse... but I dont want to at all, the meds suck. The nightmares continue, I wish they would just stop for one night... and I can hear the voices silently and quietly plotting i n my head...

*hugs all*

I am such an idiot. Why do I keep doing things that I know will be to my detriment. I'm just going to go sit and cry in the corner...:crying:

*checks in, crying*

AlexiaJayy: *offers hugs and tissues*

Mood is dropping further and I'm becoming more suicidal with each passing day. I just want this all to end.

*disappears into a corner crying*

*accepts them with a soft thank you and goes to sit, curled up in a chair as I still cry* I've never felt this suicidal before...

Dark memories will not help you in vain, with time comes hope it helps you to accept the pain - the brightest light exceeding our deepest imaginations, will also radiate for you! for what is there for the light to be lit if darkness does not exist.

Walks in and curls into a ball I can't do this anymore

*crawls into a corner banging her head on the wall and crying*
Why won't this stop??

I'm checking in right now