*hugs everyone and cuddles you all up*

squashed
 

I'm feeling like a bug that's being squashed or stuck in a jar and denied air. If i had the option of spending some time in the hospital now, i would jump at it. As it is I can't be around anyone. It's been months since i could talk to people other than immediate family (and even that's just a necessary evil) I don't answer the phone or messages or post on facebook. I've driven everyone from my life but I can't cut, and certainly cannot die because i have a daughter who is, like me, bipolar and those things would be devastating to her. She's saved my life so many times because of that thought. On the other hand, my life is so intensely painful and lonely that i can barely function. Thank you for letting me get that off of my chest.

haven't been on for a little while - life has been insanely busy and I'm experiencing a lot of goodbyes and lasts that are very hard... I hope everyone is doing alright - sending love and hugs!

Bad bad bad deserve to suffer and die

I've thrown the tool away again

Ninais, I'm useless atm cause I feel so much like you do that you almost coulda been writing that for me. I just wanted you to know that you're not alone n someone cares. ��

i have had enough cant take it anymore

*hugs all*

I know I haven't been on here for a while. And if I was, then I wasn't doing individuals.
I'm going to a specialized hospital on Tuesday, which means that I probably wont get much online time in the next time. I'm going to be there for 4 weeks... that's my plan anyway. I don't know their plan, but they can't hold me there if I don't want to be there.

hope you are all well or at least well enough

*curls up in the corner*

Not good enough, never has been, never will be... bad lexy, not doing enough, no no no... very bad. Not acceptable, unhelpful, selfish, self serving, brattish, bad bad bad. Doesn't deserve to live, should go away, everyone would be happy, oh yes they would. Bad lexy, should do more, not ill, not a tall...

*hugs faye* how are you?

*hugs lexy* Is that your name? You are certainly not a bad person.


I'm going ip tomorrow morning. I wish you all a good time and all that.

good luck love <3 hope it's helpful for you <3

*sits in corner with tool* bad bad bad evil girl. Must learn to be better and not a failure.

I don't feel well I don't want to live any more and I can't get help until the psychiatrist contacts me

cant do this anymore just want to die

I missed three months clean by days - also got the day wrong for therapy and missed that today. Thinking of disappearing

HI EVERYONE! I'm back again and in a spiral of unmedication and no sleep. WOO. Whatever. I havent felt in a while. I want to crash...ok that's probably a bit sick but who cares...

Ugh I hate this I want out of here

-stares at a wall-

DIE !
Hide in your fuc kin' grave
You're afraid of life
You do nothing
If you spenD life whineing about death
any wonder you dont like life
just shut up!
Actions speek louder
...but theres still no one listening.
I dont care what you do
just stop getting in my way.
Stop getting me down

You loved me
even though
I know-you knew
I would never love you back
Its youre fault
you shoulda known better
dont blame me, i told you i was heartless

I'm better now, thanks for the boost
oh you want a hand up?... sorry im kinda busy

I'll always lie to you
you're nothing to me
you dont even deserve my honesty
we were never friends
and now that you're no use to me
goodbye

I despise you

but who am I
I'm just a bit ch
I'm heartless, I'm cruel
I never even thought of what i did to you
and now i dont even talk to you
dying wont get my attention
dont live for me
find another
anything
aslong as I dont have to think of you ever again
you're dead to me

if you wont delete that. and live in hope and dont die from me. i love you all. ashers or not. we live together. i will tell you my secret button url. ;(
do something thats full of energy. thats where the life lives. and will accept even the smallest of memories to slip away from your aching hearts.