good luck cleaning. Im just waiting for a phone call i really want it today to see if i got a job so im a little inpatient lol.

sick :( not fun.

hugs saphire

I'm absolutely frozen today and the bathroom sink's still a bit gunged up and I don't know how to degunge it because the spray's not working

Hugs, hope you feel better.

i ****ING hate families they do my nut in. Im just a bloody failure to them. I may as well be dead. I dont do this, i dont do that. Im just a bollocks daughter who should never have been born.

*hugs happiness*
I know what you mean, I am the failure in my family and the messed up one, just a huge disappointment.
You would not be better off dead, your family loves you in there own way even if they say things that hurt you. I am sorry you are having a rough time but I am always here if you want to talk.



*curls in in bed*
I feel like a ninny for freaking out about dinner last night, it is just one of the many things that come with having eating issues (it didn't help that I hadn't been able to sleep in days). I took something to get some sleep last night and feel much better this morning, finally got some much needed sleep, it sucks that I can't sleep without pills it annoys me. Hopefully today goes better than yesterday.

thanks hun, i just feel so rubbish right now.

I hope you feel calmer today and the food thing is ok. Rest well and look after yourself.

*hugs all* sorry I'm not posting much lately... I'm busy stabilzing myself and I have JuJitsu now.

I have had the day from hell - got a new blade and I just want to use it

*hugs everyone* sorry everyone seems to be struggling so much atm

Roots - I know how tempting it is, but please don't use it, it won't help in the long run *hugs*

So tired of this. Flashbacks almost non-stop. Who can function like this?

ok so i went and cut myself again. ****ing thoughts are too much. ppl stressing me out. thoughts that arent mine are in my vicinity and is bothering me.

Don't let my smile fool you,
It's only a diguise.
My life is like lightning,
and rained filled skies.

Don't let my laugh fool you,
I just am scared to tell the truth.
Don't assume my life is perfect,
Until you have your proof.

Don't let my expression fool you,
I just can't show you how I feel.
My heart has always been broken,
And I doubt it will ever heal.

Don't let my easygoing spirit fool you,
Don't think that I won't care.
Because when I need you the most,
I'm expecting you to be there.

I cant deal with this **** anymore. I keep thinking about him and it makes me sad. It makes me mad. I cant cope with the money. I dont knwo i cant do this. I have a brand new blade just waiting sat there waiting for me.

*Huggles Faye* Can you throw the blade away , Please be careful hun .

*hugs Faye* here if you want to talk. Can you get rid of your blade?

*hugs Mark* how are you today?

I've had a first aid course today and it was really informative. I'm still tired and dizzy, because I had to take calming medication yesterday evening/night twice and being dizzy the next day seems to be a side effect.

*snuggles mark* i cant get rid of the blade. I havent cut i just need it for comfort for now ill try to put it away later

*hugs faye* it's ok honey, just try not to use it okay? please keep yourself safe - if you can't, could you go and be somewhere around other people where you can't hurt cut?

*hugs Laura* apart from the side effects, how you doing honey?

Nope all my friends are out well the 2 that i have near me, my bro has gone and my mums at work til later. I feel rubbish i want to do damage. Im trying not to. I distracted myself as much as possible but im running out of ideas.

Hope your feeling better laura *hugs*

How are you katie? x

bath? or go for a run? don't know what the weather's like for you, but in Scotland *whispers* it's actually sunny! (if you don't whisper the sun might hear you and leave, lol) i used to find knitting really soothing when i wanted to harm, because it's cathartic and keeps your hands busy while you watch tv or something :)

I'm... as always. doesn't matter much.

I just had a shower but due to my leg(its broken) cant run or drive or anything. Its raining here. The cat is sat with me which is nice and i just dont know im online doing things but i just dont know how much more i can take.

Do you want to talk?

Nah, it's nothing important. so sick of how whiny I get on here, lol, so resolution to stop boring people with my sh*t and save it for R&V or journal.

Sorry to hear about your leg :( that sucks. do you bake? I always like baking, plus yummy cookies after! Glad your cat is sitting with you - good kitty * won't stroke - allergies - but waves at kitty* Are there online games you play? Or maybe write a story or poem about how you're feeling?

*hugs faye*
*hugs Katie*

I feel fat, I ate too much today but my mom is a good cook so I couldn't resist and ate until there wasn't much left. Excited to go watch a movie with a friend later. The new spiderman movie.