Another day to wake up, another day feeling like ****. Another day spent with people who trigger me. What have i done i mean really what have i done?

*hugs faye* who's triggering you honey? why do you have to be around them?

*curls into ball* think I'm losing my mind. Thoughts that aren't mine are pushing forward, but they're not talking to me. I can't make out what the whispers are saying. There's a rustling in the back of mind, and I can feel something screaming. My head aches.

i'm so ****ing scared of starting therapy again. my first meeting is next week.. and already my mind is racing with the things that i 'musn't' let her find out about.... :/ how the frack am i ever going to get better if i can never be honest wtith anyone all the way? i'm sick of being this weird effed up broken puzzle-masked lying fake fake fake

My family well my mum and brother they just make me feel so awful and my dad doesnt care. My mum talks to my dad and her friend about me behind my back. I hate it i cant bare it. I hide in my room as much as possible but i cant do that forever. I wish i could.

hun you need to get help, to get you through this. Are you going to see the dr?

*hugs all

Miss it here.

*hugs all*

Today was rough - had some really unruly kids who would not listen at all to me and I ended up being exhausted... Also - never try to explain vandalism to a five year old

*hugs Roots

I can't even imagine. Trying to explain it to a teenager is bad enough!

They were just rotten today and it didn't help my self esteem any at all

saw dr, referred to ED clinic. dont know when will see someone. keep cutting myself during the blank spaces. wish hed killed me. such a ****ing whore.

*hugs everyone* hope you're all ok

Your not a whore hun, keep the cuts clean. Im glad you got th referral.

sorry you guys are having a rough day too *hugs*

why is anything i do never good enough? i try but always fail.

*hugs Faye* you don't fail honey, and you ARE good enough

How can I cut myself and not remember? I don't SH anymore. I don't even want to. But there they are. What the **** is happening?

*hugs everyone*

*hugs sapphire*

Sometimes you just go numb and don't remember things.

That's how I am right now. Numb to the world around me. Feeling like I should cry, but I can. Feeling like I should freakout, but just blank.

I wish i had never been born its more obvious now than ever that im not wanted and my family dont care. I cant do this. Please sedate me and let me die.

*hugs faye* sorry hun, no can do. if your family doesn't appreciate you they are complete idiots. everyone here values you so much, you are a lovely person, and i'm not ever giving up on you.

qft.

thanks, i wish you could though. Its like im in money trouble and need help but if i ask my family ignore me and get angry but my brother who is always in trouble with money if he asks then its not a problem. Im the runt, the black sheep. The one who shouldnt be here.

Happiness - You should be here - there is a reason you are here and we love you.

I'm having a very hard time not falling into old habits tonight... I just want to give up

*hugs faye* in a similar situation with my brother - he gets whatever he wants and anything he does wrong is blamed on my problems. you're not alone honey. wish i could help. xxx

thanks hun, im sorry your in the same boat. My friend has said she will lend me the money if she can but wont know until the weekend. If not my car will stay on the drive uninsured and i wont drive it. It sucks having family like that. At last im alone and it feels like heaven. I just want to be gone.

roots- sorry your having a bad day hun, keep fighting its hard but you can do it.

*hugs sapphire and happiness*