*hugs* sorry your having a bad time. How are you today?

im going to settle in for the day and sleep :)

Sleep helps so much. Hug to you happiness <3

cant sleep mind is too busy *hides under blanket and sobs*

I had a bad night yesterday and am feeling horrid today but I am just going to sleep and maybe watch some movies. (I am a very boring person). My mom is driving me crazy saying how I have lost so much weight and keeps praising me, honestly it just annoys me and I wish she would stop because it is so not helpful to hear that. Blah hopefully tomorrow is a better day. Atleast tonight it will just be me at home so I can relax and not worry about anyone bothering me.

*curls up under blanket*

*Hugs and snuggles everyone* I'm tired out I've been out all day. I so want to reopen a scar though just because it's not a pretty scar (I've got a dressing on it so I can't see it now)

*hugs dylan* don't open it sweetie, it won't help.

*hugs Laura* hope you're ok sweetie

*hugs RootsBeforeBranches* I know it's difficult honey, but you can get through this. People being insensitive is horrible, but their prejudices are their problem, not yours. hope you're alright.

*hugs MakeSomeNoise* sleep and movies are good things, not boring things. enjoy your peace and quiet.

I don't know how I'm feeling. I don't think I'm really feeling anything. Which is better than bad I suppose :S don't know. *hugs to everyone*

dont open it dylan it wont help hun.

why cant people just let me be ill and miserable and fail at life like i am? why do they want me to do things. I just want to curl up and cry.

*hugs Faye* because we don't think you fail at life, and we love you and want you to be happy.

*hands Faye margarita*

Laura, I could do you a Strawberry Slurpie Supreme? No alcohol, but lots of strawberry and chocolatey goodness :)

but i do fail, i always fail. I cant do anything. Im a big fat weak pathetic ugly failure.

No you're not (hugs)

you're not any of that faye <3

ihatefireworks. gonna be loads tonight =[

I am its all true please believe me. Ahh i hate it. Why cant everything go away and life be normal?

Are you in the us? could you watch a movie or listen to music to drown it out.

Honey, you're not the bad person you think you are *hugs Faye* this will get better sweetie

*hugs Rising* fireworks are scary - can you get away from them, or drown them out with music? Is there anyone with you who could help you?

I am bad please believe me. I make people sad because im sad. Im a bad person. Im frightened.

You're not a bad person Happiness (hugs)

*hugs dylan* im scared what if things go wrong tomorrow? why doesnt he love me anymore?

how would you feel like if you had no thoughts in your head your whole life?
would you be happy?
would you be suicidal?
would you be pro-life?
would you be pro-choice?
would you want to die?
would you like to live?
would you have had your dad bang you so hard into the pointy sharp wooden door way so that you totally lost controll over your life and are now living like a cat that overdosed on lsd and never remembering what they dont want you to remember living in dreams fear over everything because you just can't get a single thought out of your brain cause it feels like it's dead and living dead because you just had you're dad destroy 1 piece of you're nerve system that causes dreams and images to visualise in your mind never to remember again forever and eternity til days are gone and ppl are few. and causing you to not brain your own thoughts but to send them in wild ways to whomever wants them without you knowing who they were before you sent them so that you wont even remember it but on closer look you really feel distant and insecure and can never understand what life really was cause it's passed now. all my own dreams are beeing sent to a far away place where they will be holded until i arrive at that destination.

Alone Again
with nothing other than her razor and pen
the only two true friends
sitting in the corner of her cold bedroom
just wondering about how this all began
years before she had been so full of life
and now shes nothing more then a victim
a victim of this hell..
the urge gets stronger as his grip pulls her closer
she tries to escape but only fails
for he is stronger than she will ever be
once again...he wins
as the crimison tears begin..


Wondering where to go
Wondering what to say
My thoughts have sunk too low
And have darkend up my day
My mind fills me with sorrow
So in my corner I cry
Hopeing and dreaming of tomorrow
Wishing for wings to fly
Away to a new place
Where light and darkness roam
A place wheer I can show my face
And stand up on my own.

Monk I love your writing style *hug*

Sending love out to everyone tonight

Well my day was umm not so good. I ended up self harming again for the first time in 5 months, I thought I would feel guilty or upset about it but surprisingly I don't feel bad at all for doing it. Anyway I spent my night watching a marathon of rescue me with my brother (yep a very boring night but I don't mind since it is better than laying in my room depressed and suicidal.)

*hugs Faye* you're not bad sweetie, I promise. You're lovely.

*hugs MakeSomeNoise* have you cleaned the wounds honey? It's okay, you don't have to feel guilty. I hope you feel better soon, and that you're safe.

*hugs everyone*

It's that weird kind of day when I feel like I'm howling at the moon. I don't expect an answer, but I want her to know I hate her for her beautiful, indifferent remoteness. For being so many millions of miles away from the sordid planet we inhabit.

^^ yeah, crazy, I know.