Reallllllllllllly **** day *sob*

talkin about threats, zara cried, people seeming to ignore me, not findoing summat to help with my work, people ignoring me, feelin all so alone, being told my tutor wanted a word, headache has returned, forced to apolgise...finding out people are talkin bout me behind my back other than the people who are allowed to do so (i.e. jane, jess & tina are allowed to talk about tme...cus I know they do).....gettin scared earlier over summat stuipd....slipped up....peorid pains...

"hugs everyone"

then runs to her bed and cries. ive slipped up and cant get it out of my mind!!!!!!!!!!!

:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:

**hugs all**

hang in there all...try and focus on something u enjoy and hopefully that would let ur mind forget about stuff that happened the nite before or whenever

PM me if need me

Jet

god danmit i cant do this anymore just need to stay here for a while, im not safe by myself i will end up cutting myself, cant cope anymore and im heading straight for another melt down. *starts to cry while rocking back and forth.

*hugs everyone* sorry for not being around for a while, I had to change my username for certain reasons


(pm if you want to know what it was, I dont want to be found....)

*hugs everyone*

*sigh* I need to check myself in...I just want to disappear, I want to scream at my friends and make them feel this, just for a week and then see if they tell me they don't like the fact I've 'changed'. I really want to hurt myself really badly but I can't. I hate responsibility.

We'll miss u Ileana if u were gone!!!

*walks in and camps in the corner with a pillow*
here for the long haul i think

*cuddles*

its raining here, the storm is lovely its making me feel so much better, alots cleansing....

Im starting to feel really pathetic, Im having boyfriend issues and they are all being created by me, *feels stupid* that and people keep mentioning carols in the domain, which I want to go to but dont at the same time because of what happened last year.......*shuts up*

*screams* help

My confidence kinda came back around today. I felt good about myself again...after a long while. I cleaned my room (which was super dirty) I washed my clothes and then my normal self started to come out. I shaved, showered and even plucked my eye brows after weeks of not doing so. They were getting bushy. I danced in my room while getting dressed. At last I didn't feel ugly and disgusting...then he arrives and I try to be a little seductive, you know, having had my confidence back I was being my lovely self. He plays with the cat and pushes me around in an annoying way. He's tired. We grab bite to eat and then back here, alone. So what's the ****ing point in getting my confidence back and shaving and all that **** we do to look better? I'm still here.

...and I bet he didn't even notice that last week I wore the same clothes for three days straight (I did shower though). I felt good today but it didn't bring me anything.
It doesn't matter if I wear a g-string or grandma panties. If I'm shaven or fuzzy. If my hair is dirty or clean. He won't notice.

...so I'm cheking in again and this time I want to be locked in a poorly illuminated room alone.

Make me believe everything is going to be ok?
Take me out of college for rest of this term, pleaseeeeee?

*wonders if newbies are allowed to snuggle in*

*finds the fluffy slippers*

I can't sleep, too many thoughts and don't feel safe.
Can i rest here for a while?

Not sad or pathetic.

Urgh, just shoot me or something?