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Just waffled a journal entry, was kinda hoping someone would be in here now, like really in here... *fights back tears*
*goes out to smoking shelter*.....ooh and I've gotta put the recycling out! |
i'm in here Hayley... kinda.
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Hey crimson *huggles*
I've just been looking up information on caffeine. I'm trying to decide whether to keep increasing my intake to try and have some form of life or to just give up and hibernate. It would appear the only downside to my caffeine tolerance/dependance is the cost and the fact that I cannot run out! I have 2cups of coffee, 1-2litres of cola and some diet red bull (depends how much cola I have to how much red bull) plus 4diet pills containing caffeine a day. I still often have a 1-2hour nap in the afternoon and I sleep for approx 10-12hours a night. I hate M.E. I just want to have energy and have some form of life. Raaa. Sorry guys, I should probably waffle this in my journal, not here. Anyhoo, I give up for at least today. I'm going to take my meds early and go to bed. I've had enough of my mind, hopefully I'll find somewhere peaceful in my sleep. |
*cuddles*
If it helps Hay, I cried loads when our heating/boiler broke (and kept breaking) :( |
My anxiety came back, **** it all, and I don't have anyone to talk with about it!! except for my husband... I am so scared now of going to bed, even though sleep is practically my only escape... and also of tomorrow, which will probably be all day alone (although granted, my bestie ought to be coming over sometime, and my mum might as well if I can talk her into it, lol). I don't know. I HATE THIS!!!! I did okay from about 9am - 11:30am, after napping, and then it came back and I've been fighting it all day. I even taught violin!! with it hammering at me... :crying: I feel like **** and I have no idea where to turn. I'm running out of one of my antianxiety drugs too... SHIZBANG. I am going to be a wreck.
:crying: |
*hugs everyone*
We have a cyclone threatening the coast. Tbph I think it'll hit south of us and we'll be okay ... we tend to be ... but in some ways it's amusing to watch the 'villians reactions. Like buying "camping" type supplies in case of power outages and fighting for them in the supermarkets. Last season I watched a girl I lived with tape all the windows in our area of the house because "my friend said it was a category 5 (highest level)" ... I had to tell her it was a cat 1 and coming no where near us. My parents are almost back in QLD after 9 months or so of travelling around Aus. It's going to be a bit weird to have them back. Anyway *hugs everyone* |
*cuddles everyone* sorry everyone seems to be having a hard time. Sorry it's not more right now. I'm so f-in busy... i wish i had time to breath a little.
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*hugs* Kahlia..lets hope the cyclone doesn't hit the coast and somehow dies down b4 it reaches there! Fingers crossed ur okies! :-)
*hugs laura, april, helen and whoever i missed, which is probably alot of ppl* *As usual, leaves some chocolate chip cookies on the table* |
*hugs all*
Jem - It's (cyclone Ului) a cat 2 at the moment and according to BOM we are in the watch area but north of the warning area. Next cyclone advice is in about 1.5 hrs so we'll see. We'll probably get some wind and rain but most likely miss the worst of it. And cyclones tend to dissipate once they hit land ... but then again, they are notoriously hard to predict. Will try to keep you up to date. *hugs* *hugs everyone and leaves a selection of watermelon, lychees, grapes and mango on the table (just please keep the mango away from me as I'm severely allergic :S)* |
Ugh , I harmed again , this time in the morning which is odd as it's usually in the evening. , the urge was just too strong to put it off :-( It's been 4 consecutive days that I have harmed now , it's becoming a daily thing again I can't beleive I'm letting that happen again .At least the urge has quietened down ( for now ) .
I Hate myself . HATE! I'm disgusting ugh . *hugs for all* *quickly snaffles mango* |
*cuddles everyone*
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My boiler is kind of being fixed at the moment....they've had to rip out my kitchen cupbaords!! eek. There's mess and noise and stuff going on and all I want to do is lie on sofa and go to sleep! I am in my pj's and look rough as hell, there is washing up to be done in the sink and random men in my kitchen...this is not at all how a friday should be..... :(
*huggles all* ooh and Kahila I'll keep my finegrs and toes crossed for you that the cyclone doesn't cause you any problems. |
*cuddles Hayley lots* I hope they're not there for too long sweetheart, I know how horrible it is though. I didn't like the heating men (as I called them) coming into my room all the time *shudders* or into the living room when one day I stayed there & fell asleep a few times :/ Just felt like a violation of my own privacy, especially my bedroom. But I knew it had to be done to get it working & stuffs :(
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I deliberately avoided seeing my support worker today. I just want to hide from everyone. Everything is so hard.
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*cuddles Lindsay* Sorry things are so hard sweet :(
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*hugs kahlia* hope the storm isnt too bad for you.
*hugs hayley* i hope you get to relax like you wanted, sorry the ppl were an annoyance.. I'm glad your heat is getting fixed though. *hugs mark* Try to stay strong and safe. I know its hard. Keep trying to fight the urges if they come back. *cuddles helen, jet, and lindsay* Going back to school tomorrow. I'm glad and also dreading going back to class... I told 2 ppl about some of my SI stuff in the past week. It feels so weird, like I am doing something I am not supposed to... idk why I told them exactly, I guess it was that they were revealing stuff about themselves to me so i thought i would return the experience or something. Maybe it'll turn out okay. I getting tired of trying to hide. |
*hugs everyone*
Sorry, too many posts for me to respond to at the moment... brain is kind of fried. :( Am really exhausted, want to sleep for a looong time, but my bestie is supposed to be coming over in an hour, so yeah. No sleeping for me, I'm afraid, until tonight at least. Had a nice outing with my mum - went to a bagel shop for lunch and then walked the dogs a bit... went to the vet's for one of them (he's very ill with congestive heart failure & needs to go to the vet's 2x/wk I think)... then came back to the apartment and I showed her some purchases I made this morning at Walmart. Am very happy with one of them - it's a very pretty shirt that I really like. Pastel and flow-y, not at all my style but I think it's lovely. Hehe. I also got a Twilight shirt *guilty look* haha... and then some food that we needed. So yes. And I am now home and drinking iced tea like a fiend... because it tastes so freaking good!! I have a tonnn of schoolwork to do this weekend, one of the things being starting my senior sem paper... urgh. :( I'm scared about that... *hides* |
*hugs all*
A cyclone update for anyone interested: We are now at the top of the warning area. Next advice is due out shortly. Very calm around here at the moment ... The cyclone is expected to make landfall at around 2 am tomorrow. *walks around hugging everyone then disappears into the smoking shelter* |
*cuddles everyone*
Hope it doesn't hit you Kahlia *squishes* Keep updating if you can xxx |
PrincessSparkle walks in,wanting to scream and crying on the inside,grabs her blanky and goes to a dark corner to hide for a while... Hey mamamia im glad u heard from your riend,feeling better? Hugs for everyone,I had a crappy day too, just want to sleep for the next three days!!
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