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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

aklx 03-05-2011 12:43 AM

You're not good for nothing Sefka, what's happened to make you think like that?

Sefka 03-05-2011 01:13 AM

Nothing really... just spent the evening trying to write my counselling email for this week and... it sucks. I'm trying to talk about things that are really painful and I can't do it. I've cried so much (which comes with a lot of snot) and I feel like I can't breathe.

And one cut would make it stop, but it wouldn't really solve anything (and it's never 'just one' cut.)

And I shouldn't feel like this, I hate myself for not being able to be fine.

That's it really. Sorry.

aklx 03-05-2011 01:24 AM

You don't have to apologise, there is no right or wrong with feelings.
If you're not ready to talk about things you don't have to.
You're right, cutting doesn't solve anything and I hope you don't feel you have to do it but don't think that makes you weak.
Don't hate yourself. You're not a bad person.

dontwantyoutoknow 03-05-2011 01:30 AM

Sefka, please know something - you can always, always come to me for a chat, ok? That goes for any one of you. Just PM me. I might take a bit to get back to you, but I always will. If you need a reply ASAP, just tell me so.
xx

Sefka 03-05-2011 01:30 AM

Thanks, that's really nice of you both.

How are you doing this evening?

dontwantyoutoknow 03-05-2011 01:32 AM

I very nearly took my life, but got away with SI-ing instead. Not exactly ideal, but better than suicide, I guess.

I think it's cool you have counselling through email. I'd love that. It would work so much better for me than verbal counselling.

aklx 03-05-2011 01:36 AM

What MJ said, about PM'ing.

Sefka 03-05-2011 01:37 AM

Yeah, it's soooo much better for me. I spent three months going to face to face counselling and got nowhere. Been doing it by email for almost 6 months and have progressed loads.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so low, MJ. Have you spoken to anyone about it tonight (apart from here)? Take care of yourself. Love you xx

misskitty112 03-05-2011 02:32 AM

*hugs everyone*

SkinEssays 03-05-2011 03:37 AM

*hiding in the corner*

Antebellum 03-05-2011 04:44 AM

I am so confused by what I'm feeling right now. How can you feel so much that is different all at the same time? I wish I had someone to talk to, but I just know if I say it out loud i'll regret it. ****. how did it get this messed up.

Sefka 03-05-2011 07:03 AM

hugs misskitty, SkinEssays and rhi89

Rhi, I can sympathise with inexplicable, out-of-control emotions. You can always say stuff here if you want.

I don't know how I'm going to get through today.

Doikers 03-05-2011 09:55 AM

*Hugs Mrs Pan*

*Hugs Sefka* You are always welcome here Sefka :)

*Hugs Ninais*

*Hugs Ian*

*hugs MJ*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Michelle*

*Hugs Rhi*

one_step_closer 03-05-2011 10:42 AM

*hugs everyone*

I can't do this any more.

Doikers 03-05-2011 10:52 AM

I'm happy and excited on the one hand and Flat and Depressed on the other hand .............how?...........How does life do this?

Doikers 03-05-2011 10:52 AM

*Squishes Lindsay*

Louise 03-05-2011 01:44 PM

hugs everyone

Sefka 03-05-2011 03:18 PM

<sigh> I'm still at work but been hiding for most of the day. I really don't want to break down in front of colleagues but I'm so wound up everything's making me want to cry/scream.

Hugs everyone xx

Doikers 03-05-2011 03:32 PM

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Sefka*

one_step_closer 03-05-2011 06:46 PM

I'm so glad that the day is nearly over. Another day closer to OD day.

PoisonedApple 03-05-2011 06:48 PM

*hugs Lindsay* Please stay safe, hun.

dontwantyoutoknow 03-05-2011 06:49 PM

*hugs every one*

I SI'd a lot today. I'm shaky and panicked and terrified and I can't calm down. :-(

Doikers 03-05-2011 06:56 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* Yeah , Please stay safe :/

*Hugs Crimson* How are you hun?

*Hugs MJ* Please look after you wound/s hun .

PoisonedApple 03-05-2011 07:00 PM

*hugs Mark* Mostly doing decent. Stuck in a dilemma though... Trying to get it sorted...
you?

*cuddles MJ*

one_step_closer 03-05-2011 07:07 PM

*hugs MJ*

Is there anything we can help you with, Crimson?

frenchhorn 03-05-2011 07:10 PM

*hugs all* please stay safe everyone. not that I'm one to talk, but I care about all of you here.

My best friend is being forced by her parents to not transition and she won't listen to anyone, I'm really worried about her, she is making a rash sudden decision.

PoisonedApple 03-05-2011 07:23 PM

*shrugs* I dunno Lindsay. I decided recently to go back to being a vegetarian or maybe even to eventually become vegan. My kids are okay with trying new things (so I don't always have to do 2 separate meals) and my in law can bugger off and buy her own damn food for her and her gf if they doesn't like what I make... My husband though is another story. He refused to have stir fry the other day because he wanted to have more meat than that.... yes I am entirely serious. He has refused outright to have certain meals because they contain something he claims not to like or refuses to try. He says if I made eggplant chana masala he wouldn't eat it because he hates eggplant...as a kid his mom made him eggplant parmesan and he loved it until he found out it was eggplant so I know it isn't the flavor (I've also made him a vegetarian stir fry with eggplant he liked) he just refuses to eat it because of a opinion he had before he tried it. I don't know quite what to do. we can't afford to do 2 entirely separate meals all the time and I can't live off produce and peanut butter sandwiches alone.

Doikers 03-05-2011 07:59 PM

*Hugs Oliver*

*Lindsay*

*Hugs Crimson* Can you pursuade and or trick your hubby into eating "Fake Meat Tofu stuff" that stuff is pretty realistic , I don't eat it much as it is so simalar to meant.

PoisonedApple 03-05-2011 08:53 PM

He hates the various burgers but I haven't tried any others yet. Might try to do something else... Seitan was something I was looking for in my area to try out in a few recipes I found. I also found out theres a fake bacon now a days so I may try that too. We'll see how it goes with that. I haven't found vegan cheese in my area yet so for now it'll stay regular cheeses. Maybe lasagna'd be a good dinner this month... I can just make a smaller one without the meat. I was considering seeing if he notices if I swap the ground beef in stroganoff to turkey. Maybe just keep swapping things out...? I plan to get some little sausages for him when I make potato leek soup this month. The kids and I like it but he won't eat it unless we put meat in it... "soup is not dinner and stews aren't real dinners by themselves either" *shakes head* I love him but he's a stubborn SOB when he wants to be.

FlyingNy 03-05-2011 09:01 PM

*Sneaks in and leaves hugs for everyone who wants them, and waves to those who don't* How you can leave waves, I don't quite know, but we have endless corners here, so I guess anything goes.

Sefka 03-05-2011 09:05 PM

*hugs* for everyone.

Back from work after what was hopefully my last 13 hour day for a while.
Not really feeling very safe this evening.

Doikers 03-05-2011 09:21 PM

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Sefka* Please stay safe hun:)

Sefka 03-05-2011 09:30 PM

*hugs Mark* Thanks. I managed not to do anything last night and then this morning was actually kind of disappointed about it. It's kinda hard knowing there's this easy, quick fix.

How are you today?

PoisonedApple 03-05-2011 09:33 PM

*hugs Lia, Mark and Sefka*

Cazki 03-05-2011 11:37 PM

I'm sorry everyone is struggling so much

*Hugs Mark

*Hugs Sefka*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Oliver*

PoisonedApple 03-05-2011 11:41 PM

*hugs Ian* How are you?

Cazki 03-05-2011 11:54 PM

*Hugs Crimson* Thanks for the hug :) im not bad although i feel like giving up but hey ho. How are you?

PoisonedApple 04-05-2011 12:07 AM

Not bad over all.

SkinEssays 04-05-2011 01:49 AM

thanks for the hugs everyone...
back at you all!

*hugs times a million*

*back to my corner with my blanket over my head*

ninais 04-05-2011 02:57 AM

Wow. I'm pretty new here and I signed up for a daily digest to my email, so I was surprised to see all the hugging and support that occurred in the span of just one day.
***Hugs and love and good thoughts to all who are struggling today.***
I am already loving this forum. I was in a dentists office today while my daughter was having her teeth cleaned and i read about a young "Disney" star who has been cutting and starving herself. She recently found out she was bipolar II. I wonder if there is a big link between the anxiety of bipolar II and self injury? My daughter and I have both been diagnosed as bipolar II (II is less severe than I...no intense manias but, often, a lot of anxiety) Years ago the cutting got me a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder with depression but later they decided i was just bipolar. Anyone else have this diagnosis?

Doikers 04-05-2011 08:36 AM

*Hugs Sefka*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Michelle*

*Hugs Ninais* I have a big Poster of Vitruvian Man on my Wall!

I am getting more and more freaked out as my emergency Pysch appointment approaches , I am Happy and excited over circumstances but my Mood is still Low , IDK what is going on.

Kahlia1981 04-05-2011 12:13 PM

Hello all - *offers hugs to all who can accept & waves at others*
To anyone I haven't met yet during my .... absences ... Hi, I'm Kahlia.

I'm really sorry for being such a bad wardie over the last little while but our relocation is taking place on Friday (eep) and we'll be without internet for about 2 weeks, so I'm jumping in to say hi, bye for now, & "I love you all!!!!"

Before I go further, I know that one or two of you at least are going to jump in with something along the lines of "not a bad wardie". I thank you for that already, because it reminds me that I must always be on the lookout for negative thinking.

I really just want to use this post to let you all know that I'm here & thinking of you all, and I hope that you all get through the study, life and so on expectations and demands. I also want to leave *hugs*, *safe love and care packages*, *stuffed animals*, *zero-calorie treats* and demand that someone pay attention to Puppy SinClair. :-p The poor puppy of the ward has been spending a lot more time in solitude so if anyone remembers can they feed him or offer him attention. :-p

Seriously though, I am going to miss you all, but I'll be back as soon as our internet is reconnected and jumping right back in to the ward. All of you take care and make sure you look after yourselves and each other okay?

frenchhorn 04-05-2011 02:39 PM

*feeds puppy Sinclair and offers to look after him while Kahlia is away*

*hugs Kahlia* I'll look after puppy sinclair when I'm about, but I have limited internet access for a few weeks.

*hugs Mark* good luck for your psych appt, when is it so I can send positive vibes?

*hugs Ninais* How are you doing?

*hugs Ian* pkease don't give up, stay strong.

*hugs Michelle, Crimson and Sefka* how are you all?

*sits in corner* today is a bad day, for many reasons and I really want to OD, but doing everything I can not to as I promised my mum I'd skype her tonight.

Doikers 04-05-2011 02:51 PM

*Hugs Kahlia* Here it comes... You are NOT a bad wardie! Best of luck with your move Hun!

*Hugs Oliver* My Pysch appointment is at 10am on Friday , All Positive vibes are appreciated , Thankyou :)

*Pats Puppy SinClair*

frenchhorn 04-05-2011 02:52 PM

*hugs Mark* lots of positive vibes shall be sent your way for friday :)

dontwantyoutoknow 04-05-2011 03:48 PM

*hugs everyone* I wish I could make it better for you all. :-(

I'm shaking really bad. I have a scary appointment tomorrow and I'm just terrified. I want someone to go with me, but my friends don't live nearby, and I don't talk to my family about stuff much. I could take a relative in with me, but I can't talk with them there, so that would block any help I could get from the appointment, right?

PoisonedApple 04-05-2011 04:56 PM

*hugs all*

Kahlia, you are not a bad wardie :) Good luck and happy times on your move.

Mark, *advance positive vibes in a jar for use Friday* your appointment is at 1 am my time :)

Oliver, are you feeling any better?

*cuddles MJ* If they'd stop you from getting the help you need in any way (even making you clam up) then don't take them. Could you maybe bring a plushie with you or something?

Doikers 04-05-2011 05:08 PM

*Hugs Oliver* Thanks for the vibes !

*Hugs Crimson* Thankyou for the Alaskan Vibes :)


*Hugs MJ* I'm sorry hun but taking a token to focus on might help , once I took a stone I picked up and imagined it was my online support network in my pocket and it helped a little , it was when I first went to my GP about my injury .

frenchhorn 04-05-2011 05:43 PM

*hugs MJ* I agree with Mark's idea about taking something with you, or write stuff down if you think you will clam up, I'm always writing stuff down and giving it to my GP/counsellor.

*hugs Mark*

*hugs Crimson* I'm feeling crap, I ended up cutting, now I feel even worse as my best friend has been told by her parents she is not allowed to see or contact me, as I'm trans and they dont want her associating with anyone like that, so anyone who is trans. and as she is blind she can't get to the bus stop without her parents takng her there so she cant get out anywhere.

PoisonedApple 04-05-2011 06:09 PM

*hugs Oliver* Is there any way she can talk to Action for Blind People or RNIB? Guide dogs for the blind association? Maybe find a way to live independently?


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