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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

SoMuchMore 16-12-2010 04:36 AM

*curls up in the corner* I feel weird. not triggered per say. I don't know exactly, but i have to get over it b/c i have a final tomorrow :-(

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 04:41 AM

-hugs Laura- I hope you do well on your final tomorrow. Just look forward to the break, hun. That always helps me. Do you need to talk? I'm here but I don't think anyone else is on right now. I'm not in the best place, but I can listen. -hugs again-

risenfromperdition 16-12-2010 05:21 AM

Good luck tomorrow laura <3

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 05:23 AM

Hey heather - hows you?

risenfromperdition 16-12-2010 05:27 AM

Goina bed.. Gotta be up at 5:45 ><

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 05:31 AM

Awww night night sleep tight

Doikers 16-12-2010 09:20 AM

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Kitty* Please stay safe hun :S

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura* Gooooooooood Luck with your final Laura:)

How are you all?

I'm on my parents lappy, will be back at my flat soon I hope .

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 09:25 AM

-looks up from staring entirely too long into the blankness, into the nothingness, and sees mark and hugs him back-

I...I'm scared. I have these plans. And tools. And nobody around to stop me. And...and I...I dont want to do it...but she says I have to...

-starts biting her hands-

Doikers 16-12-2010 09:34 AM

*Super hugs Kitty* Please don't go through with your plans hun :S I , for one would miss you heaps .

Doikers 16-12-2010 09:39 AM

Right I must dash , Got to get back to my flat , will be back online 11.30am ish *Hugs*

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 09:41 AM

-hugs mark back, again- I forgot to ask...sorry...how are you?

I am not one that should be missed, for I should have never been alive in the first place. I've got my tools laying next to me. She is telling me that I need to do something...she's giving me 3 choices. She says I can cut, but if so, it has to be bad. She says I can die. And she says I can cut and die. But I have to make my choice, or else... I don't know what the outcome of "or else" is...but I don't think I want to find out...

She won't leave me alone. She just keeps getting louder and louder and louder. She mad...

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 09:42 AM

Ya I dont know what time that is for me. It is 1:42 am here...but if I am still here, I'll see you then.

jonikd 16-12-2010 10:39 AM

*sheepishly hugs wardies I have been neglecting* feel like a bit of a stranger in here. Mark you're a legend, haven't caught up on all your news but you are here for everyone, you're a good kind person. What's happening for you?

Few other familiar faces; Helen, Laura, Julie, Nicole. Miss you all heaps. I'm doing pretty **** but looking forward to a few weeks off at Christmas to sleep and sit quietly.

Love and miss you all

Doikers 16-12-2010 11:35 AM

*Hugs JK Tons* I'm sorry to hear you're feeling crap JK but it's sooooo nice that you popped in :)

*Hugs Kitty* Don't die Kitty , Try to drown her out , Headphones and music?

Doikers 16-12-2010 12:01 PM

Well I'm back at my flat. Back on my computer and a little less anxious but still have that sodding ball of tension in my stomach/lower back , I drank some coffee and some tea and then some more coffee , I should probably stop the caffiene for the day now . I have Group in 2 hours 1 minute which I sometimes enjoy and sometimes don't depends on the topic and who shows up .
DARN Anxiety :S but hey ho , I'll eat some cereal , maybe that will calm me .

nicole94 16-12-2010 12:50 PM

*hugs everyone*

Doikers 16-12-2010 01:02 PM

*Hugs Nicole* How are you hun?

I just met my new neighbour David , he seems okay.

Ack Ack Ack I'm so so Anxious and triggered , I SO want to cut but I have to leave for group in 30 minutes so don't have the time to.. well take care of any cuts , I want to do it too much , Sorry:( I took a Diaz , Kick in fast please:S

nicole94 16-12-2010 01:07 PM

*hugs mark* I'm ok, little bit triggerd, But ok, currently wondering about the 5 mins of really heavy rain we just had which caused all the drains in my street to flood :/ it was amazing, i've never seen such heavy rain.
Please try not to cut mark. You know its not worth it *hugs* I'm sure your group will be ok. Mine was last night, and i was really worried about it. Just gotta try and look at the positives :) Do you have any friends at your group?

Doikers 16-12-2010 01:12 PM

Well I cut , not badly at all , I hope it holds me I can still feel some anxiety :S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S:S . I'm Sorry.
I'm Sorry You're triggered Nicole Can you put on some upbeat music ? *Feels like a Hypocrite* , WOW your rain sounds impressive Nicole, We have had medium rain most of the day but I'ts clearing now ,They say it will freeze tonight , I'm worried there will be ice everywhere :S
*Hugs Nicole*

Doikers 16-12-2010 01:14 PM

*Feels Broken*
I'm just covered in scars COVERED and I hate them and I did them (Almost) all. I have ruined my body , ruined myself , Ruined my life and I can't stop *Sigh*
I'm sorry .

nicole94 16-12-2010 01:21 PM

*hugs mark* oh mark :( I'm sorry you cut, but its ok, its only a slip up. Are you taking care of the cuts? *Also feels like a hypocrite* I am just trying to use distractions at the moment. But still not really feeling like i deserve to keep safe :( *squishes*

Doikers 16-12-2010 01:27 PM

*Hugs Nicole Tons* 7 minutes and I've got to go to group , To answer your friends question Nicole , I'm friendly with some of the people in the group and say hi if I run into them in the street but we don't make plans to meet up or anything.
I Have My VERY BEST friend seperatley and she has just moved to the same town as me , I am having coffee with her tomorrow which I am looking forward to , I love her , and am trying to figure out how to tell how she feels about me *sigh* without saying "Do you like me?" and being rejected , I don't think I could take the rejection ,I'm not feeling wonderful recently :S

nicole94 16-12-2010 01:30 PM

Oh dear mark :) But i think the group situation is pretty good, It's the same as mine, we are friends, but dont meet up outside group, so if i dont wanna go to group i go to see my friends there, it kinda gives me a reason to go, try and concentrate on that? *hugs* And unfortunatley I have no advice about the other friend, i am useless at relationship stuff, sorry. :(

one_step_closer 16-12-2010 02:01 PM

*hugs Mark* Sorry, I have no advice either.

I'm waiting on the minister coming, she'll be here in an hour. I'm so scared because I don't know what to say and i'm really socially anxious. There are so many little things that worry me.

misskitty112 16-12-2010 02:30 PM

*hugs ward*
One day I will stop being so useless and have advice.
But right now, I'm snowed in at uni... so I may not get to go home after my finals tomorrow... effffff. And I'm worried about finals, and I don't feel good.

Kahlia1981 16-12-2010 02:58 PM

*huggles all*

JK: Special *WB hugs*

Mark: Hey big bro, how are things going? *big hugs*

Heather: I like your signature pic - I can't remember whether I've said that or not because I've been gone so long. *hugs*

Kitty: Hi, I'm Kahlia. Your new since I've been absent so *waves*. Just wanted to say that I love the last two songs in your sig. I read your post (post #38109) on page #1906 listing your diagnosis and we share a couple. I have schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type), PTSD, DID, OCD, agoraphobia and as a result of the last ones dissociate - although not as badly these days, and have bad and regular panic attacks often to the extent where I am unable to leave the house. I can understand you are going through a lot right now and could do with some support, so I hope that you are able to find that here.

To everyone: I'm sorry I'm not around as much. It's just a bit hard to get online at the moment as the current study period is in full-swing and I'm still working out my study schedule to fit around exams and illness etc.. Certain other "unusual events" are coming into play as well unfortunately. *le sigh*

*leaves hugs and safe love and care packages for all on the table and heads out into the garden to play with Puppy SinClair*

MammaMia 16-12-2010 04:09 PM

I've another migraine, not amused :( Off to work I go. Hope it's like last night, however it has been snowing again!!! But majority didn't stick :S

Doikers 16-12-2010 04:21 PM

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Lil Sis Kahlia*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Felicia*

Doikers 16-12-2010 04:28 PM

I was so anxious/low/triggered that group sort of happened around me , I Did Not want to be there but now I'm back at my flat I don't partiulary want to be here either. Not helped by the plate that was labeled "Vegetarian" I bit into a pastry thing and it was full of some kind of fish , ACK!! , I'm sorry I'm moaning so much tonight , One . Of . Those . Days :(

misskitty112 16-12-2010 04:35 PM

*hugs Mark*
My roommate just got to go home. So now I'm in my dorm. alone.
I think I'm having one of those days too. I'm only a PM away if you need me.

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 04:58 PM

*hugs everyone*

That's good to hear that you are doing ok, crimson. When it comes to dinner, I say the simpler the better. -nods-
We ended up doing nachos so I didn't have to go do a ton of shopping or lots of cooking...

I always miss JK when she's in. No fair! *pouts* She was in at 140 am my time lol

*hugs Mark* sorry your days been so icky...

Hels, do you have any medicine for migraines? *turns off lights and cuddles Hels quietly*

sorry for anyone I'm missing in individual comments right now but i have to go cover the front desk... I'll be back later :)

Doikers 16-12-2010 05:14 PM

*Has bathed , Gotten into PJ bottoms and Green hoodie , Will light inscense and candles after dinner and drink plenty of water and do a bit of group homework and hang out here*

misskitty112 16-12-2010 05:24 PM

I don't like this being alone and feeling low thing.

Doikers 16-12-2010 05:28 PM


I don't like this being alone and feeling low thing.

I'm in the self same boat hun , I'm actually worried for my saftey a bit tonight , I may cut , I'll try and keep safe , you please try and stay safe too Felicia .

misskitty112 16-12-2010 05:35 PM

I feel ya, Mark. I'm really worried about myself today.
I may end up seeing how many of my friends are still on campus, and who wouldn't mind just sitting with me, even if they're studying and I'm on here tonight or something.

Doikers 16-12-2010 05:38 PM

That sounds like a great idea Felicia , It would be good to have a friend about .

one_step_closer 16-12-2010 05:41 PM

I'm sorry you're both feeling this way. *huge hugs* Is there anything I can do to help?

PoisonedApple 16-12-2010 05:41 PM

before you head out Mark, I have a class I have to go to all day Saturday but if you send me another PM on what type of book you're looking for (general, specific pantheon, herbalism, etc etc etc) I'll try to get on and reply Sunday (or Monday) if I can. :) Figured knowing precisely what you're looking for would help narrow it down for recommendations. Drawing down the moon by Margot Adler is a pretty common recommendation to everyone though.
*just wanted to make sure I remembered to ask and sent it before you left for the night :)

Doikers 16-12-2010 05:44 PM

Wow thanks Crimson , I'll PM after Dinner or before if I can .....oooohh excited thanks :)

Doikers 16-12-2010 06:26 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* If your around talking helps I've peaked for the night I think . I don't know what I'll do tonight but well , I hope I'll be okay . How are you Lindsay?

Doikers 16-12-2010 06:29 PM

Anyone about?

misskitty112 16-12-2010 07:05 PM

I'm here

Doikers 16-12-2010 07:10 PM

*Hugs Felicia* How are you coping tonight/today?

one_step_closer 16-12-2010 07:12 PM

I'm also here.

PsychoKitty2010 16-12-2010 07:14 PM

-hugs everyone- -pulls at her sleeves and sighs, looking down, ashamed-

Update on me: I cut. Wasn't too bad to need stitches or anything. I think my knife is getting dull. Damnit. Anyway, I'm super pissed at myself right now. I ended up cutting on my shoulder and I haven't had really any visible scars on my arms I kept them on my legs and just always wear pants, but in the summer time, I like to wear spaghetti strap shirts. UGH I am pissed at myself! I couldn't stop it... -sighs-

-waves to Kahlia- Hi. Tis nice to meet you. I'm not really new, just had to sign up for a different account because I didn't remember my user name or password. I had been away a long, long time... Hope you're doing ok. -smiles-

How are you doing now, mark? Hope you're doing better..

-cuddles and snuggles and squishes with anyone who would like-

Doikers 16-12-2010 07:18 PM

*Hugs Kitty*
I cut too , twice today . I have lit candles . Burning Clary Sage Oil which is supposed to be good for Depression .

*Hugs Lindsay*

misskitty112 16-12-2010 07:19 PM

I'm okayish right now, Mark. I'm going to meet up with some of my sorority sisters at 3, so that'll keep me distracted for a while. Then I'm gonna finish cleaning for Christmas break, and review for my three finals tomorrow. How are you doing?

*hugs Lindsay* How are you?

*Hugs Kitty* I'm sorry you cut. Maybe it won't leave a bad scar? I cut my hands earlier this week, and that's what I'm hoping for them.

Doikers 16-12-2010 07:25 PM

*Hugs Felicia* I did cut again but nowhere near as I thought I would do . I feel calm now , still low though but the anxiety has tappered off . I'll beat myself up about cutting tomorrow but I just coulden't not do it tonight .
It's good you have some people to hang out with , that'll help I hope :)

one_step_closer 16-12-2010 07:26 PM

I'm not too great. Been crying a lot and cut a little because my old "friend" who hasn't been talking to me eventually told me it's because she thinks i'm attention seeking and manipulative, as well as other things.

misskitty112 16-12-2010 07:31 PM

Mark, try not to beat yourself up about it, darling. I completely understand the "needing it" feeling. *hugs*
Lindsay, I don't think you're attention seeking or manipulative *hugs*

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