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~*forever_broken*~ 22-04-2008 06:56 AM

"Summery of my Time in Hell" OR "What Happened at Allys Counseling Session"
------------------------------
I went to my normal Monday counseling session... And wound up in the uni counseling center for something like 3 1/2 hours... How long is a normal session you ask? 50 minutes. And what took so long? Let me tell you...

First they (my counselor and one of his supervisors) had to decide whether or not to call the guy from the county office in (one of the folks that comes and tells you whether or not you need to go to hospital). Then they had to get a hold of him and he had to get there. Then he and I butted heads for a bit till I caved (it was either that or hospital).

So,what wound up happening? Well I suppose you could say he drew up a contract...

No alcohol or 'any other drugs' (meaning the Tylenol I use to OD) other than those prescribed to me.
No cutting (you know they call razors and knives 'sharps' when they think you're nuts). I've got to go in again tomorrow so they know I'm still alive and behaving and then I've got to call in.
And my room mate has to baby-sit me tonight. I had to call another friend to come hang out with me while she was at work.
I had to throw out my razor blades (you have no idea how tempted I was to tear apart my shaving razor).
And I had to give my room mate my Tylenol (which she took out and locked in the trunk of her car on the county guys suggestion).
All this to continue until Thursday when I see my counselor again (I have to see someone else tomorrow as his schedule is full) and then we'll go from there.

I am completely and utterly humiliated :crying:AND I've got a bill coming that I am sure is going to be rather substantial for services I didn't even want (county guy bullying me for an hour and a half)!!!

The End
------------
Now, if you will excuse me I think I'll just take up permanent residence in the Denial Tent.

*crawls into the tent, curls up with her stuffed lamb and blanket and cries*

Jetforce 22-04-2008 07:06 AM

*cuddles ally*

U know where i am if u need to find me :-P

tc there and stay safe hon xxx

MammaMia 22-04-2008 09:00 AM

Oh gosh, I read about Alex.

I hope she's okay, do you have any news Jess?

I hope you're taking care of yourself aswell Jess, it's so important.

Oh gosh I'm gonna cry and I came into college FOUR hours early to do some coursework =\

Jetforce 22-04-2008 10:16 AM

I just realised alexx is in hospital..oops..my bad

*hugs alexx* take care there and hope u feel better soon xxx

Detour. Derail 22-04-2008 10:32 AM

*crawls in*
Anyone home? :-(

Jetforce 22-04-2008 10:34 AM

*hugs alexx again*

Ur back?

Detour. Derail 22-04-2008 10:40 AM

yeaaah I'm back...
but I wish I wasnt....
everything has gone horribly wrong >.<

Jetforce 22-04-2008 10:43 AM

Yeah? what happened?

Did they discharge u or u discharged urself? Hope u r feeling better, but i'm doubting that so *Squishes alexx tightly*

MammaMia 22-04-2008 10:46 AM

*gently jumps onto Alex*

ALEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! How are you feeling sweetie?? Hopefully a bit better? You know you can talk to us if you want :)

I love you lots and lots.

xxxxxx

(Gotta run but I'll be back in a few hours xxx)

Detour. Derail 22-04-2008 10:52 AM

Well...I called my dad and told him I'd just gone in to talk to my psych, But then my mum showed up >.< and she was following me EVERYWHERE so when I went to see the doctor and she said "I've heard you took some pills..." my mum was just like *gasp* and I really didnt want her there >.<
I had all the usual stuff, ECG, blood test, blood sugars tested...then I had an assessment with a pysch
but when he said I could go home after an assessment she said she wanted a word with him and started ranting and raving in the corridor saying how I wasn't safe, they should keep me in, trying to force him to tell her what I'd said etc etc.
We got into the car and I managed to forget the burning in my stomach....its pretty easy when you mother's fists are raining down on you ><
Got home and she took ALL my meds(which she later through at me and told me to use them to "do it properly next time") and searched my bag as well.
I just wanted to sleep but they kept talking and screaming at me about how selfish and worthless and self-centred I am....Just what I want to hear after an OD...then my dad gave my 3 months to change EVERYTHING
...if I dont...
...he's kicking me out :blink:

Detour. Derail 22-04-2008 10:53 AM

I feel sick as a dog:-(

Dramatic 22-04-2008 11:25 AM

I don't know you Alex, but i've been reading through the forum posts about you.
When you just explained what happened with your mum/dad, it made me want to vomit, because it's exactly how my mother treats me. When i cut she tells me to "Do it properly next time", and she said the same last time i OD'd. She didn't even turn up at the hospital the second time, just phoned the hospital, screamed down the phone at me, and hung up.
So, i do sympathise with you, because i know how..unloving and hurtful your parents words can be. Especially when you're in such a vulnerable state.
Take care of yourself hun.
x

Jetforce 22-04-2008 11:40 AM

That's no good :-( I'm sorry to hear that alexx...

hang in there...sorry, i don't have many words for u but look after urself plz xxx we all r thinking about u :-)

*leaves some chocolate chip cookies for ppl to eat on the table*

youngatheart 22-04-2008 11:49 AM

Alexx. Im so glad you are back but I could cry at how your parents have treated you. giving you huge gentle hugsx

Ally, how awful for you. hugsx

MammaMia 22-04-2008 12:09 PM

I could cry at your parents I really could Alex.

What do you think you'll do hunnie??

*lots of huggles for Alex*

*leaves hugs for everyone else*

I'll try and pop in again in a bit, but if not I hope everyone has an okay day...2 days til my net is returned to me <333

Jetforce 22-04-2008 12:14 PM

hey helen

u ok there?

Detour. Derail 22-04-2008 01:06 PM

Thanks guys...to be honest...I don't know what I'll do. Im DREADING going home...I'm so scared.
I just spoke to my counsellor and told her everything and she said it can be classed as emotional abuse...which has knocked me somewhat.
I just feel so sick. She kicked me out of the house this morning with no breakfast or anything....

Jetforce 22-04-2008 01:11 PM

*squishes alexx*

~*forever_broken*~ 22-04-2008 01:12 PM

*snuggles Alexx*
Hunni that's the closest I've come to crying in... Well I don't know how long but considering I wanted desperately to cry yesterday... Sweetie. I'm sorry that's just so awful the way they treat you:crying: I wish I had more for you luv... *snuggles you more* Please take care

Detour. Derail 22-04-2008 01:14 PM

I wish this was a real place ><
why am I sop ****ing stupid. She said it'd be ok....and considering she's in my head she should know yeh?
it's all bad ><
I need the denial tent to be real....because in 3 months...i'll probably be homeless :-(

*sigh* thanks for your support guys...I'm really sorry
xxx


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