RYL Forums - Virtual Psych ward!

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*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Heidi*

*Hugs Kelly*

*Hugs Matt*

I've made 3 weeks S.I. free today :)

Very well done, Mark!

Thankyou Lindsay :) *Hugs* How're you feeling hun?

Well done Mark!

Hope everyone's well.

Thanks Kim , I forgot if Hugs are okay so *Waves*

*wanders in from my trip to Dillingham*
Sorry guys too many pages to get caught up...
*hugs all*
How is everyone?

I'm really worried. I went to see my GP who had a letter from my psychiatrist saying that my medication has to be stopped because I keep overdosing on it. I managed to convince her to let me have my medication dispensed daily but how am I going to cope without overdosing so much? I will still be able to overdose sometimes because they have to give me my nightly dose of medication away with me so I can save that up. I'll just need to stay away from hospital so that i'm not found out.

*Hugs Crimson* How was your trip?

*Hugs Lindsay* *Squishes Hard*

*hugs Mark* Congrats BTW!
It was... Cloudy but decent views of the scenery anyhow. I can do without ever spending more than 4$ on a 1ltr soda again though. *shakes head* it was sheer craziness how much things cost there. For the price of that one soda I could have bought 3 or 4 that were twice the size here.

*huggles Lindsay*

Oh Mark, I am so proud :thumbup:

Lindsay - *huggles* don't know what to say hun, just be safe. lots of hugs.

*hugs to everyone else*

I came to see my mum, now I'm uber triggered & feel worse that she's triggering me when she's so awesome. *sigh* I'm a horrible person. :angry:

Crimson, It's like £1.29 a litre of pop here, cheapest, America is so cheap , we pay 3+the price of petrol at least :) How are you *Hugs*

*Hugs Mara* You are far from horrible!

I'm too tired to catch up with 3 pages now.
*hugs all*

I went to the appointment with the inpatient person today and I failed at talking with her properly. She said that there is no point in talking with me when I'm staring at the wall half of the time.
Then after that I had an appointment with my therapist. She went upstairs with me to show me around the ward.
Now I have 1 month before I go inpatient. I'm scared.

Quote:

Crimson, It's like £1.29 a litre of pop here, cheapest, America is so cheap , we pay 3+the price of petrol at least :) How are you *Hugs*

After converting it that's only $2.10 it's close to what we pay for name brand one liters... At the store closest to my house it's $2.19 but I can get store brand 2 ltrs for 1-1.50$ depending on the store :) They didn't have that option there.

I'm pretty good I think. Waiting for the proverbial **** to hit the fan but I got sick of doing other people's jobs and drew my line in the imaginary sand this morning. I feel good about it even if it may backfire on me.

How are you doing?

*cuddles Mara* do you know what triggered you?

*hugs Laura* I wish I knew what to say to make it better... :S

I'm lonely and i feel a bit :sad:

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Heidi*

*Hugs Kelly*

*Hugs Matt*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Mark* well done on 3 weeks free! Thats excellent :)

*hugs Mark* yay, well done you :)

*hugs Laura* I wish I knew what to say to make you feel less scared *cuddles*

*hugs Crimson*

*hugs Mara* you are not a horrible person, your lovely and friendly

*hugs Lindsay* please try to stay safe

*hugs Ian* I'm here if you want to talk

*hugs everyone else*

*hugs Ian and Oliver*
*walks to the nearest padded wall and begins to pummel the picture taped to it and screams in frustration*

Yeah. Just very frustrated. My neighbors keep parking in the area my trash bins need to be for pick up. When they are out they need 3 ft clearance to be picked up. The neighbor moves them or parks too close. It has happened 3 times in less than 2 months and they've been talked to by municipal workers and still keep doing it. I am tempted to dump the bin of trash in the back of their truck or to have them towed but both are considered harassment. Keeping from doing things that are classified as illegal is hard when you know they deserve it. And if I did do it and got caught I'd be in legal trouble which would mean I lose my job. I tried to get ahold of the trash people and emailed since I am at work the same hours they are and they replied telling me to call so they can discuss it with me!

The following content has been hidden - Reason : I didn't think this was so hard to understand that a solution couldn't be found

This last Friday was the 3rd time I have had a problem with my garbage service in the 2 months I have been living in my home. The problem is always caused by the same GMC truck. I have had them park there after I leave for work and park too close to the bins and I have had them move them and turn them sideways. The first time I called and was told by customer service to speak to whichever neighbor in the 4plex the vehicle belonged to as if I would know that. After calling place after place in the municipality I got a hold of the right of way people. They talked to every person in the 4-plex since legally I can’t restrict parking in the area of the false driveway that ends at the sidewalk in front of my home. It temporarily fixed the issue (for all of 2 weeks or so). The second time my garbage was picked up but not my recycling so I didn’t bother to make waves. This time both my garbage and recycling was left and had a tag that kindly described the vehicle so I have written proof it is the same vehicle as before. After talking to the gentleman from the ROW place he had told me that the next time it occurred to contact MSW’s enforcement department and that he was surprised that I was not transferred to them in the first place! That gentleman was the first I had heard of you having that department. Given that it is a consistent problem I am requesting assistance. It is illegal for me to just pile up junk in my yard (even if I were okay with doing that and I am not) and I refuse to pay extra to have my trash picked up because of having double the trash due to it not being picked up. I should not be penalized because a neighbor with a parking place behind the neighboring building is intentionally causing problems that they have already been notified they are causing after they were asked to stop.
If you can not fix this I will be late to work and lose wages Friday so I can call APD and sit there while they attempt to find the vehicles owner and straighten out the issue. I am hoping it does not come down to that.
Thank you.

*hugs everyone tight*

*hides alone in ward*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Ian* Thanks!

*Hugs Oliver* Thankyou too*

*Hugs Mara*

*Hugs Laura*

I am super excited , getting stressed , hating this heat, and basically getting overwhelmed , Not to mention worried sick about my Best Friend Hannah who is staying with her parents as she feels so low and worried about Felicia who is in North Wales and Left her meds in London .... Could use a hug :/

*hugs Mark* That's a lot of emotions.

*Hugs Lindsay* Thanks for the Hugs , It is , I am struggling , Hopefully when Felicia and I meet it will all melt away , I am not looking forward to travelling. Only once before have I taking a train alone before and that was at a bad time in my life

Is there something you can do to distract yourself on the train? Like listen to some music or read a book?

I dare not put my Ipod on in case I miss my stop, Might take a easy to focus on book though, might be able to text and stuff too :)

*Hugs Louise* How are you?

How are you, Louise?

so so not been great this past couple of days

Do you want to talk about it?

*hugs everyone*
Hope your trip goes well, Mark. Is there a way Felicia can pick up a new refill on her meds over there?

~~~

I have come to the conclusion after having my ex's fiance call me this morning that I am a terrible person... But I can't keep from laughing about the whole thing... O.O

Do you want to talk about what happened? *hugs*

*Hugs Crimson* You are not a terrible person ! <3

*Hugs Lindsay*

*hugs Mark and Lindsay*

*shrugs* I think poorly of the fiance... have since before they were engaged. I'll leave that part of it alone, if I elaborated you'd see my point on being horrible.
Long story short... He owes about $18,000 in child support and the state he moved to is prosecuting him for felony level refusal to pay it. He has a court date next month apparently. She called thinking I had sent them after him when I didn't. She threw a fit saying how she was disabled and didn't know if she could live without him for 6 months... (same way ya did before you met him last year maybe?) I filled her in that all the papers he said needed turned in by me he had a copy of and child support up here has 2 copies of. And she called me at work to address her issues. -While I was covering the front desk- CLASSY *insert dripping sarcasm here*
And I think I'm losing it because the whole thing from her, the situation, child support refusing to acknowledge the paper work, etc etc etc is F-ing hilarious to me. Like I burst into giggle fits to where I laugh so hard I'm crying out of no where about all this. And I don't feel bad about their problems being funny to me. But then I feel bad that I don't feel bad...
I am a complicated individual... *sigh*

How are you guys doing?

*hugs Crimson*
*hugs Ian*
*hugs Oliver*
*hugs Mara*
*hugs Laura*
*hugs Mark*
*hugs Lindsay*
*hugs Louise*

*hugs everyone*

The crisis team were supposed to phone me at 7 but they didn't. I'm not going to phone them. If they want to abandon me then that's their choice.

I'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm going inpatient in 4 weeks and that they have me go to the closed ward first. All I know is that I'm scared and I want to injure so badly.

How are you?

*Hugs Laura* Do you HAVE to go impatient?

*Hugs Crimson* You are lovely , end of.

*Hugs Lindsay*

*hugs Mark* no, it's voluntary. I'm forcing myself. I'm forcing myself to get better, but really I don't know if I want to get better. I'm forcing myself to talk in therapy. I don't think I can force myself to cooperate there the whole day.

Recovery is hard sometimes, i'm glad that you're forcing yourself to do the things that you think might be beneficial for you. What do you think will be difficult about cooperating for the whole day?

I have my voluntary work tomorrow and I really don't want to go. It's so exhausing to put on a face and I feel distracted and like i'm going to cry.

I really want to injure and purge and I don't want to be stopped, or maybe I do want to be stopped but I can't ask for help. I don't want to cooperate and I'm not strong enough to force myself all the time.

Is it the whole day tomorrow?

What do you want to get from injuring and purging?

It's from 11 to 4 tomorrow.

I don't really know what I want to get from it.
I don't know why I injure most of the time. I do know that I purge when I'm feeling full and/or fat.

That's 5 hours. Seems like a long time now, but it is probably going to be over much faster than it seems like now. Don't check your watch too many times, then it wont feel as long. You can do this.

*cuddles Mark* You make me smile :)
*hugs Lindsay* What kind of volunteer work is it?
*hugs Laura* Proud of you for helping yourself. Is there any way that since it is voluntary you could start on a non closed ward? It seems to be the biggest snag in your... reluctance/willingness/ comfort/whatever word is right cuz I can't find it.

*hugs Crimson* I don't think the closed ward is the thing that bothers me. I guess I kind of prefer it that way, they said that I'm going to have less therapy there, that's relaxter I think. It bothers me that there are people going to watch me all the time.

True but would they watch you as much in an open ward?or watch you less?
~I could be wrong... kind of a feeling in the dark for the light switch kind of deal for me.