write about my weekend? I went to the british motor show thing, and then there was a meatloaf gig in the evening, which was absolutely awesome. And this morning... I went to church, and I... I found where I belong. I felt acceptance, people want to help me. I... I even spoke to people there again about my scars. They.... I'm not used to this...

Had a bit of a... wobble? on friday though. One of my mates tried to do something unspeakable to another of my mates... and it bought back memories, and flashbacks of my past... but... he's truly sorry for what he did and he's in a bad place at the moment but... I hate him for what he did, yet I still want to help him. ****ed up, much?

Ally... you need to go... you need it. You really do! *pets lots*

Shadow...motor show would have been wicked fun! And meatloaf too!!!! I'm glad you've found somewhere you feel accepted *pets lots* It's okay to want to help someone that you really hate.... it really is. just shows that you're a better person than you think!!!! *cuddles*

I'm crying in part because a friend showed me a story she is writing and it reminds me so much of my teen years.

Crying cause I don't want Jeff to go. We all say negative stuff here, it is where we can be ourselves and be safe! No matter how bad or how angry or how sad or desperate or how needy we feel.

Jeff, I think you totally underestimate your value, the soft heart inside you. You've totally given yourself to us to cry on and pound on. Please stay? Please?

*cuddles*

Aww, auburn, sounds like you had quite an upsetting time on Friday. *cuddles*
I am glad to hear about your experience at church though. I'm glad you are even able to talk to folks there about your scars. Wow. I haven't been to my church all summer... I love those folks dearly and I know the feeling is mutual... But it's too hot for long sleeves and wearing my gloves screams 'look at me, I SI'... And I'm pretty sure none of them know... Oh, sorry, lol I think I'm a little jealous.

*sigh* but Jess I don't want to go... wanna come with? Think you could make it up here in 15 1/2 hours? Lol

I wish I could love! I really do. Do you have a friend there who could go with you? Do you want my mobile number so you can text me or something???

Yeah, being able to talk to them about my scars and everything, well wasn't exactly my choice, one of the youth club leaders walked in on me almost chucking 4.5 months down the drain and slashing my arms up, but these things happen for a reason, I suppose.
Yeah, Friday was difficult. Thursday had been a friend's funeral, so to have all that on top, almost pushed me over the edge, but my friend, she has such great parents (not that she sees it) and... they almost treated me like their own daughter.
wow. just writing this out, it makes me realise just how many people there actually are that care about me.

Going to go to bed after this, I think. Try and sleep, but before I do, something from friday night that's bugging me:

What makes a person a "bad" person?

Oh Auburn, I'm glad writing that out helped you realize that you've got so many folks that care for you.

Aww, Jess *snuggles* no, no one to come with me... Tbh I think if any of my friends were to come if be mortified... You're different cause you understand this stuff. And I'd TOTALLY take you up on your mobile number... But I'm already out of text messages for this month :pinch:. I've decided that, when I'm caught up on my mobile bill I'm going to get unlimited texting... Cheaper than going over all the time and besides, if I had it set up already if be able to 'take you with me' tomorrow :-)

Lots of people DO care about you and i'm glad that you are seeing that. It's why writing stuff out is good!!!! *pets lots* i hope you get some decent sleep!

A bad person... hmm... I suppose it depends on what context you mean it in.

honey, do you want me to give it to you anyways? that way you DO have it. and you can use it if you get desperate?

I don't particularly know what context exactly, but I was just thinking about what my friend said to me after he'd done that "thing" to her. He said he was truly sorry for what had happened and did it make him a bad person, but... well truthfully, I don't know if it does or not...

I don't know. I really don't. I don't know how any person can say whether or not a person is a 'bad' person. It's just... i dunno, something that we don't have the ability to truly judge.

Mmm, bad person, that's tough... Esp not knowing the context (and no, you don't need to share, I respect that it's private).

Hmm, sure Jess, why not. If I don't use it tomorrow I'm sure there will be another crises one of these days. We can swap, then you can text me if you need a sholder.

okays sweetie :) i'll pm it to you now!

bleuuuuuuuuurrrrghhh i feel sick

Yes, my phone bill is just about enough to make a person cry :pinch: I need a job very soon... *crosses her fingers that her interview is soon and that SafeWay wants her*

what's up chlo?

*pets ally* it'll be good!

*curls up in corner*

*glomps sophie lots*