think i need to check in

by the way its my first time in here

Hey ajrandom,
Welcome! I'm Felicia.

having a rough time atm
so am going to stay here for a while

*hugs shattered1* New people are always welcome!

Hi again guys,Thanks for the hugs.Hi to all the new people. I am terribly suicidal again,have been past few days....need to hide in here.I need you guys so much right now =/ I know I'm irrational atm,so please forgive me.

*hugs Claire* We're here for you. You can PM me if you'd like. I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Glomps Charlie* Of course you can come back in :)

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs ajrandom if okay*Welcome :)

*Hugs Shattered1 if okay*Hey I'm Mark

*Hugs Claire*

*hugs all* wish I could make it better for all those that are struggling.

I'm going to try and keep dinner + meds down tonight. I'm so fvcking scared of the meds, because I always imagine meds (even pain killers) as millions of tiny germs (lack of a better word) floating around in my body that have a plan and their own will.
If I take it for a few weeks so it has an effect on me, will it get easier to take it?

*Hugs everyone* Thanks Misskitty(sorry don't know your real name) and Mark. I am a little better today,ended up ringing the smaritains at about 1am and cleared the air in my head a bit.I think I set myself of on a downward path when I got drunk last week (first time in about 3years) and I guess I should have known better.Alcohol is in eccess a form of self-harm and I react badly to being out of control but crave it.So so today....OCD ruling my head but thats better than suicidal...

*hugs everyone*

I'm so depressed today. My 21st went as well as could be expected on Tuesday. I have a chest/throat thing, so am not feeling great physically. Mentally, I'm just so down and just don't have the strength to fight any more. I got a letter today saying that they've put me in the Silver band for council housing. I'm so scared of moving - I won't be safe on my own. :-(

*hugs all*

Shattered1: sometimes I get physical sensations like my arms are starting to itch like crazy.

*cuddles Charlie* Of course you can come back! Your too Claire! *hugs*
*welcomes everyone new* I'm Crimson!
*huggles all around*

Sorry for not doing individuals but I can't think much past how bloody itchy I am right now. I did finally figure out why I was having an eczema outbreak though. I thought it was stress but it got worse with less stress so I looked at the only new thing I'd been using (my lotion) to see if it had anything to cause an allergic outbreak... One would not think cocoa butter with vitamin e would be bad right? Wrong! I am allergic to titanium. My new lotion has titanium dioxide in it. Who new they even put that in some lotions?! But I originally used more to help with the eczema so now I am splotchy and itchy all over rather than the smaller area I was itchy originally! And I am wearing a sweater in my toasty office because it looks awful and with Shingles going around lately I don't want to be sent home because they don't understand what my rash is. I feel like an itchy leper.
[/mini-rant-whinge moment]

K now that I got that out I can think a little more (less crowded in my head, ya know?) MJ, What housing are you in now and what is Silver band housing? (Sorry I know nothing of housing in Wales...)

You aren't a freak shattered, I get sensations and sometimes even see the damage I want to cause when it's bad...

Laura, it should get easier to take once you get accustomed to taking something, especially if it helps.

goes around and hugs everyone says hello - then goes and sits in the corner.

*hugs Louise* what's up?

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Claire*

*Hugs MJ*

*Hugs Shattered1* I get tingling too.

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Louise*

I'm having lovely alcohol withdrawel symptoms , Poor Tummy and shakes (More than usual).

*huggles Mark*
Could you maybe drink some mint tea to help your tummy?

Crimson, I don't know what Silver Band is either. I presume it's middle.

*hugs everyone*

I've drunk Ginger tea Crimson , gingers supposed to be good I think.

thanks for the responses everyone, I glad to know I not a freak about in that matter...but at the same time wish you all didn't have to experience it too.

Feeling lonely and hurting inside tonight.

*nods to Mark* Hope it helps some:)

*sits with Louise*

*hugs Crimson* hope the itchyness is gone soon and with it the rash.

I kept it down tonight. Mostly, because M. knows that I didnt keep it in last night. she mentioned it today, after her husband asked me how many time I've taken it and I didn't really know what to say.

*Hugs Laura *

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs shattered1*

I am burning Lavender and geranium oils in an effort to relax me before bed , and skyping with Felicia :)

Hugs?
:/

*hugs Mrs Pan*

*Hugs Mrs Pan*

*Hugs MJ*


*Goodnight Hugs all my wardies*

*hugs MJ & Doikers*
Nanight x

Hi everyone i wasnt going to bother with hugs because im not in the mood but i will as your all really nice and special

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Mrs Pan*

*Hugs MJ*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Louise*

i quit, i cant do it anymore, iv had enough of it

*hugs everyone*

*super hugs ian* whats wrong? here if you need to talk.

*waves to all the new people* Hi! I'm Laura. I'm not always around much anymore... I used to be a lot more active in here, but I always read, respond when i can, and still just a PM away if you need anything :)

*cuddles charlie* of course you can come back in. Hope youre okay hun.

*hugs everyone*
good night Mark :)
*curls up* Is it friday afternoon yet? So I don't have another day and a half of work ahead of me still before the weekend...?

*hugs crimson and hands over a short-distance time traveling device so she can skip to friday afternoon*

*Hugs Mrs Pan*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Crimson*

Hello all,
It there room on the ward for me.
I could do with some TLC for a while. NOt feeling o good and scared of what I might do.
I'l sit quietly in the corner and not bother anyone, I promise.

*hugs squiggles* how are you?

*hugs everyone else*

*Hugs Squiggles*

*Hugs Laura*

realised because of peoples birthdays and such I am going to be expected to be at my parent 3 weekends out of 5 and I don't want to selfish **** that I am, they will expect me to drink , *sigh*

Just because they expect you to drink doesn't mean you have to. I know it's not that easy though, since there will probably be lots of questions and hassle and stuff, but don't let yourself be tempted by other people. You have to be selfish and put yourself first in able to get better. Worrying about it will make you feel worse though so try not to.

*sits in the corner*

Not feeling too well right now...

*Hugs Mrs Pan*

*Hugs YodaBear*

hugs everyone - how are we all

*hugs everyone*

Is it possible to be content/happy and depressed/low at the same time or does that just sound entirely stupid? Just need an opinion separate from my own atm...

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Crimson* I know the feeling of having that depression lingering in the background whatever the primary mood hun.

*Hugs All My Wardies Goodnight*

*shuffles into ward completely disappointed w/ self*

this day is dragging on way too slow!

How are all my wardies? I've been missing you all ... feel kinda outta touch these days :(

*gives everyone hugs in here*

Hope all are doing well... it hasn't really been a great day for me... so I will just sit in the corner over there and be quiet

Though, I will put these brownies on the table first for some munchies... at least I could do that today... meh

*hugs ward*
I'm thinking of you all. And my PM box is always open <3

*hugs felicia* i miss talking to you around here and getting updates from you. How have you been?

*hugs everyone else*

*Hugs Kelly*

*Hugs YodaBear*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Laura*

*hugs Kelly*
*hugs Laura*
*hugs Felicia*
*hugs Mark*
*hugs everyone else who I may have forgotten*

how are you all?

*Hugs Laura* Far too sober , and tired on Diaz. How are you hun?

*hugs Mark and Laura and everyone else in ward that needs or wants a hug*

This is the second day in a row that has really dragged on for me... it's only 10 am here and I feel like it should be closer to 2 pm.