*Hugs Kat and Helen* Please don't OD either of you guys , you could really do some damage and no-one here wants any harm to come to you .

i do mark, i want harm to come to me, because i want the people around me to see what is going on in my head. i want them to see the pain and confusion. but i cant.

*cuddles helen back tightly* we'll make it. right?

*HUGS Kat*

*hugs mark* i could do with a real one of those. but jacks at work and my parents, well they just dont know. and they're ignoring me any way.

Sorry in my delay in posting back to you Kat, I'm cooking and the P.C. isn't in the kitchen but there's an idea ! Why do you say your parents are ignoreing you? I'm sorry if that is the case :( Here have another virtual *HUG* it's the best type of hug I can offer .

it's alright, delays are allowed. its just they seem to pick and choose when it is convienent to 'not know' i needed them. my mother is very controlling and manipulative. she plays mind games. always has. which is why im so messed up. *huggles*

edit: right, i just rang her and told her i had the ambulance out here last night again cos of gallstone pain and that i'm still in a lot of discomfort and struggling with hazel. she claims as it's tuesday she thought i had company, now i've not had companyon a tuesday for about a year and a half and she knows that. but apparently it's my fault im alone and struggling because i should have rung her at 1am this morning when the amublance was called....? and i wonder why nothing makes sense.

*hugs Mark & Kat* I'm trying not to :crying:

I kinda feel the same way as you Kat :( *cuddles back tightly* We will ALL make it through.

Sorry for delay in posting, keep getting distracted.

it's alright hun, patience is something i have a ton of. comes with being a policewife. *pulls mark over for a group hug because it's easier* I've emailed the samaritans recently, and a group called lifeline..but it's the best effort i've made and i know it's pathetic.

*GROUP HUGS*

Lucky you having patience, I don't have a lot sometimes. LOL. I'm glad you've contacted people for help, hope they don't take too long to reply :) It's not pathetic, it's great!!!

Hahaha soooooo dizzy >_> Can't do anything about it though until I get those stupid pills.

Kat , It's not your fault , It really isn't. I've e-mailed the Samaritens before now , I don't know if yo've e-mailed them before but give them 24 hours to get back to you ok, don't be upset if you don't get an instant reply ok:) and it's NOT a pathetic effort , It shows you are trying really hard to get help .*Hugs*

Helen , what pills are you getting ? Sorry did I miss a page , sorry . Are you good dizzy or bad dizzy ?

wow that's a lot of posts, would love to help make everyone feel better but I'm afraid I can't *sits down with a bump* bloody useless sorry

*Hugs Hannah* I'm sure you're not useless . The posts here do fly by a LOT of the time , it's hard to keep up .Oh and try not to *Bump* too hard , especially whilst sitting down , you could bang yourself unpleasent :)

*cuddles mark* yeah, i've mailed them before, so i know how it goes, it kinda takes the edge off, but i know it's not going to actually solve anything.

*huggles wildly insane* what's your name hunny?

Edit: ok, hannah :P *cuddles helen* i can't remember what you posted..*cries* damn head *bangs head on ward table*. But i remember something about pills.. and dizzyness, so if it's bad dizzy i hope it gets better soon.

i spy an oliver and an angelic_monster (name gone, sorry love. damn head again)

hello Kat, I'm Hannah :) I've never actually managed to get up the courage to email the Samaritans, so good on you.

thanks Mark, I "bumped" okay, nothing hurt

I'm in a pickle, I've been offered another job interview a week on Friday, still recovering from the last one which I haven't heard from yet and I have to write a 10 minute presentation, that and apply for a PhD by Monday and go to Copenhagen for a weeks worth of meetings next week and I don't feel capable of putting myself through it again and yet I can't stay here, I'm holding myself together with a thread and all I want to do is cry and yet I have to pull myself together and try and make things better. I don't have any strength left.

*huggles hannah* that does sound like a predicament. have a good safe cry on someone's shoulder. let it all out of you and you might find it easier to face. *shrugs* i dunno, my advice is probably a bit out at the mo.

Parents are now here. luckily. and i have a date for my operation, so now i've got to prepare hazel for being without me for a day and myself for the recovery time afterwards. i just dont want anything else to deal with right now. i dont think i can take much more.

i spy an april

yep i'm here, kind of........ sooo anxious. :crying:

updated r/v thread......... :'(

*cuddles for everyone who is struggling*

Iron deficiency pills :) I haven't mentioned them since Friday I think it was, so don't worry & it's bad dizzy :(

*cuddles lots* It's okay, don't bang your head babe :( It is bad dizzy but it will get better soon, I hope :S

*cuddles tight* Glad they're there and hope Hazel doesn't take it too badly sweet xxx

*cuddles april then wonders off to read april's thread*

Edit: *cuddles helen* I lived on iron tablets during pregnancy. I take it you're anemic then? *sighs* my back hurts. damn stones. *curls up in a ball* I dont want to hurt any more, physically or mentally. I think hazel will be alright, though she's really mummyfied.

*Hugs* Kat , good luck preparing Hazel and I'm glad your folks showed up for you :)

Hmmm Hannah I wish I had some good advice for you :S I Love your name , My sister is a Hannah as is my Best friend , I know that doesen't help you but you're in good company :)