yeah congrats. its a wonderful achievement

hi aimless! you've found where i hang out. :)

yes jem i stayed safe. wohoo. yay. i'm supposed to be happy about that, right?

i want to die. so much. but i can't cos i'm scared of being found before i can finish the job and taken to hospital or something and then my psych would call my family and all **** would break lose.

great.

an hour with my psychologist isn't enough, i always run out of time to say what i want to say.

my pills are calling to me. as are my blades. arghhhh. i want to bleed. i want some PAIN.

*Hugs effervesence* Can you put the pills and blades somewhere where you can't see them? That sometimes works for me.

Going to see the clinical psychologist today. I don't like CBT.

I want to tell them how bad I feel today, but they'll just worry. I told them I wouldn't be in contact for a while. I can't be in contact with them for a while, everytime I do, it turns to them, no matter what. I just want one of them to realise I'm not ok.

*hugs to everyone who wants, needs and can accept them*

I'm struggling at the moment. I had what was quite possibly my final ECT this morning. I should be feeling almost 100%, instead I'm down and while I'm not as far down as I have been I'm absolutely terrified that I'm going back there and that makes me want to do something stupid. I'm just about to ring my bf because he told me this afternoon that if I get like this and even think about doing what I did on Saturday (OD) he wants to know about it. He told me that taking that sort of action is just selfish - which I do not dispute - and that he'd kick my arse if I did it again. Well, provided I didn't succeed of course.

That said, I don't want to put anyone through that. I just need to work out how to deal with the absolute gut-wrenching terror. I'm nowhere near as depressed as I was, and just because I'm slightly down doesn't mean that I'm going back there. Some down mood is normal .... and I have to learn that.

I'd really appreciate a hug if anyone has one they can spare.

Kahlia

*hugs you tightly*

*Hugs Kahlia*

Saw the psychologist. Had to do a questionaire about my thoughts and beliefs which was hard, but next week he said we're going to talk about Beth which I know she wont like.

Also I got my blades back from my dad, had to promise I wouldn't use them today which is a promise I don't think I can keep.

*cuddles Chloe* oh sweetie *snuggles*

*massive hugs* Zowie, hun, your dad shouldn't have given you your blades back. PLEASE be careful luv. As for Beth, I'd give her a good swift kick on the arse if I could. You are TOTALLY stronger than her hunni, don't let her convince you otherwise.

If anyone fancies shooting someone please aim at me.

Quick q, has anyone heard from Alex (Voice Of Reason) either today or yesterday? :/

Can't say that I remember doing so. What's going on?

No, not for a few days.
I was gonna text her yesterday but I've got no credit...

I'm not sure, haven't heard from her since I saw her on Saturday
She said she'd be on yesterday and there was no sign and same today :/

I'm sure there's a reason hun.
*hugs*
Did she seem ok on Saturday?
Alex get your arse on here =)

I've just remembered she started work today, but I still thought she'd have been on last night :/

No shooting in the psych ward Marc *hugs*

*sits in her corner and rocks*
Don't want to go... And am looking like an idiot because I have a hard time typing and walking at the same time... Damn, I'm there :crying:

*hugs* where hun?
Maybe she'll be on tonight Jess...

*finds water pistol and shoots Marc just enough to dampen him*

*cuddles everyone*

I'm okay now but morning is my best time of day. Always has been.

*drips*
Well you made me smile thanks!
Still got an itch (the only way i can describe my physical urge to harm) in a notacable area but i worry about scars and marks as it is so need to resist.

*puts a bag full of cuddley squishables in the room for all*