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-   -   Lyrics to how you're feeling right now. (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19524)

Jasmine222222 28-02-2010 05:48 AM

Do as I say not as I do because
The ****'s so deep you can't run away
I beg to differ on the contrary
I agree with every word that you say
Talk is cheap and lies are expensive
My wallet's fat and so is my head
Hit and run and then I'll hit you again
I'm a smart ass but I'm playing dumb

Standards set and broken all the time
Control the chaos behind a gun
Call it as I see it even if
I was born deaf, blind and dumb
Losers winning big on the lottery
Rehab rejects still sniffing glue
Constant refutation with myself
I'm a victim of a catch 22

I have no belief
But I believe
I'm a walking contradiction
And I ain't got no right

Do as I say not as I do because
The ****'s so deep you can't run away
I beg to differ on the contrary
I agree with every word that you say
Talk is cheap and lies are expensive
My wallet's fat and so is my head
Hit and run and then I'll hit you again
I'm a smart ass but I'm playing dumb

I have no belief
But I believe
I'm a walking contradiction
And I ain't got no right

I have no belief
But I believe
I'm a walking contradiction
And I ain't got no right

Jasmine222222 28-02-2010 05:53 AM

Welcome we love you
We hate you
We love you
We want you
We need you
We wish we were like you
They say you're a saint
You're a whore
You're a sinner
That he had you
He made you
He can't live without you.

Would you confess if we asked
That you nurture the urge
To declare that it's time
To settle down
With a man of your own
You want a baby
A family
A piece of security

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Just shut your mouth

What's your opinion on the dire situation
In our land here
Our guest here
Of course you'll be nice here
How do you feel about god and religion
Are you good people
Bad people
Guess it doesn't matter people.

Your place
My place
Make her bring that famous face
You got some
You want some
You wanna let me get you some
We know your music but of course we'd never buy it
It's too fake man
Right man!
(We don't give a ****ING DAMN!)

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it

I hear you say it
Play it smart girl
Win the game love
Give 'em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
What have you been reading you smart girl?
Win the game love
Give 'em what they want
What they want to see and you could be a big star
You could go far
Make a landmark
Make a **** load.

And the world spins by
With everybody moaning
Pissing, bitching and everyone is shitting
On their friends
On their love
On their oaths
On their honor
On their graves
Out their mouths
And their words say nothing

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it
Just shut your mouth

I waited to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to say something
Just shut your mouth
I waited to say something
Oh shut your mouth
I wanted to be something
Just shut your mouth

Life is peachy 28-02-2010 11:08 AM

Suicide, I've already died
You're just the funeral I've been waiting for
Cyanide, living dead inside
Break this empty shell forevermore

Forevermore!
Forevermore!
It's just the funeral I've been waiting for!

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye, *Goodbye*

Rhapsody 28-02-2010 11:52 AM

When I think more than I want to think, I do things I never should do. I drink much more than I ought to drink, because it brings me back you...

Athiri 01-03-2010 02:38 AM

Somehow I ended up here in between,
Where there is always the comfort,
Of knowing I'll never be seen.

Life is peachy 01-03-2010 10:28 AM

Life's gotta always be messing with me (You wanna see the light)
Can't they chill and let me be free (So do I)
Can't I take away all this pain (You wanna see the light)
I try to every night, all in vain...in vain

Lollirot 01-03-2010 03:03 PM

I've cut out the bits that don't apply to how I'm feeling lol

"She's upset
Bad day
Heads for the dresser drawer
To drive her pain away.
Nothing good can come of this.

Then she closed her eyes
And found relief in a knife
The blood flows as she cries.

All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Bite the lip just forget the bleeding.

Then she closed her eyes
And found relief in a knife
The blood flows as she cries
Wooah oh
Then she closed her eyes
And found relief in a knife
The blood flows as she cries.

Curled up,
She's on the floor.
The relief left her...
She had hoped for something more
From it
Hoped for something more
From it"

"The deeper you cut
The deeper I hurt
The deeper you cut
It only gets worse"

Life is peachy 01-03-2010 09:16 PM

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Can't stand this hell I feel

BrokenAngel 01-03-2010 11:30 PM

Trespassers William
Different Stars

So you'd sing a lullaby to get me to sleep
So it's no surprise my eyes are never heavy
For i've not seen you in the flesh for so long
That i'm not sure we would know each other at all

Oh the weight it must be light wherever you are
And i know you don't think twice wherever you are
Oh the weight it must be light wherever you are
And i know you don't think twice wherever you are

So i will hum alone, too far from you
All that i say now is nothing to you
We will lie under different stars
I am where i am and you're where you are, you're where you are.

Oh the weight it must be light wherever you are
And i know you don' t think twice wherever you are
And i'd ask if you're all right wherever you are
And do you think of me, you might, wherever you are.

shivonie 02-03-2010 02:29 AM

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a ****
If I cut my arm bleeding

(This is my last resort)

Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a ****
If I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care
If I die bleeding?

Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight
And I'm contemplating suicide

Cause I'm losing my sight,
Losing my mind,
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight,
Losing my mind,
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

I never realized
I was spread too thin
Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry feeding on chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral, where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself
And no love for another
Searching to find a love upon a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils

Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind,
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight,
Losing my mind,
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying

(I can't go on living this way)

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a ****
If I cut my arm bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might.
Mutilation out of sight.
And I'm contemplating suicide.

Cause I'm losing my sight
Losing my mind,
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine

Nothing's alright
Nothing is fine (scream)

(I'm running and I'm crying)

(I can't go on living this way)

Can't go on
Living this way
Nothing's all...right!

RadioActiveCheezPuff 02-03-2010 04:23 AM

Every day's another test
Of fighting my addictions
Placing myself in situations
Will it ever go away?

Before Their Eyes

Life is peachy 02-03-2010 10:57 AM

Welcome to the Soldier Side
Where there's no one here but me
People all grow up to die
There is no one here but me

Welcome to the Soldier Side
There is no one here but me
People on the soldier's side
There is no one here but me

stella 02-03-2010 11:14 AM

when i'm at the pearly gates
this'll be on my videotape

mephistopheles is just beneath
and he's reaching up to grab me

this is one for the good days
and i have it all here in
red, blue, green

you are my centre when i spin away
out of control on videotape

this is my way of saying goodbye
because i can't do it face to face
so i'm talking to you after it's too late

no matter what happens now
you shouldn't be be afraid
because i know
today has been the most perfect day i have ever seen

(videotape by radiohead)

Life is peachy 02-03-2010 11:27 AM

The following content has been hidden - Reason : *Triggering suicide*
I don't think you trust in my
Self-righteous suicide,
I cry, when angels deserve to die
In my self-righteous suicide,
I cry, when angels deserve to die

LeftOutsideAlone 03-03-2010 03:32 AM

♫ Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again ♫

Life is peachy 03-03-2010 09:28 AM

I saw her laugh
Then she said,
"Go away"

I saw her laugh
Then she said, then she said,
"Go away, away"

Wakeful Dreamer. 03-03-2010 09:44 AM

I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel
And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore...

CMlvr93 03-03-2010 02:11 PM

And hope is just a stranger wondering how it got so bad...

Rodolphus 03-03-2010 11:39 PM

You set it again
My hearts in motion
Every word feels
Like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows
Burning in the dark.

RenewedHope 04-03-2010 12:31 AM

Between the lines are fear and blame...

Athiri 04-03-2010 01:14 AM

I may not seem quite right,
But I'm not f**ked, not quite.

Life is peachy 04-03-2010 10:16 AM

Safe! I Just Want To Be Safe!
Safe! I Just - Want To - Be Safe!
Safe! Don't You Want To Be Safe?
Safe! Why Can't You Let Me Be - Safe?

_Mish_ 04-03-2010 12:12 PM

No Cover Up
No room for hiding
No Cover Up
My faith is sliding
No Cover Up
Just sharp reminding
Of the fake I was

There are faces that we should not know
There are places we're not meant to go
If you try to find me you will never win
For behind each layer lies this other skin
I'd love to let you near if you find a way in

No Cover Up
Just so much trouble
No Cover Up
I'm bent in double
No Cover Up
Just wreck and rubble
Of the person I was

I am broken and I stand accused
Is there someone who can let me loose?
If you find the answer make a careful note
I could use your pardon and a lot of hope
I'm coming to that part at the end of the rope

No Cover Up
And I feel the burning
No Cover Up
No time for turning
No Cover Up
I hope I'm learning
Some Honesty
Some Honesty

Life is peachy 05-03-2010 06:36 AM

I wish I may, I wish I might
Have this wish I wish tonight
I want that star, I want it now
I want it all and I don't care how

Careful what you wish
Careful what you say
Careful what you wish, you may regret it
Careful what you wish, you just might get

Then it all crashes down
And you break your crown
And you point your finger
But there's no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But the castle's crumbled
And you're left with just a name

Where's your crown, King Nothing?

Wakeful Dreamer. 05-03-2010 07:39 AM

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all my mercy down, down, down
I want to see you try to take a swing at me, come on
Gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground...

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the **** you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're dirty in the front of me...


All my friends are gone
They died
(Gonna take you down)
They all screamed and cried
(Gonna take you down)

I never forget
Never forget
I can't get no where
I never forget
Never forget
(Gonna take you down)
I can't get

Life is peachy 05-03-2010 08:07 AM

Why can't you ever back down?
Why can't you just shut your face?
Oh god the feelings I feel
Would get me thrown in a cage
You're the one who's always screaming at me
I'm the one that keeps your life so care free
What the **** more do you want me to be?
Why must you do this to me?

Run away, I can't say
Lead the way, make them pay

_Mish_ 05-03-2010 02:58 PM

Waiting on an Angel,
One to carry me home.
Hope you come to see me soon,
Cause I don't wanna go alone-
I don't wanna go alone.

Now Angel, won't you come by me,
Angel hear my plea.
Take my hand, lift me up,
So that I can fly with thee;
So that I can fly with thee.

And I'm waiting on an Angel-
And I know it won't be long
To find myself a resting place
In my Angel's arms-
My Angel's arms.

So speak kind to a stranger,
Cause you'll never know-
It just might be an angel come
Oh, knocking at your door-
A-knocking at your door.

And I'm waiting on an Angel,
And I know it won't be long
To find myself a resting place
In my Angel's arms, oh...
In my Angel's arms.

Waiting on an Angel,
One to carry me home.
Hope you come to see me soon
Cause I don't wanna go alone-
I don't wanna go alone,
Don't wanna go...
I don't wanna go alone.

Alix 06-03-2010 02:02 AM

Cuts by Jann Ardin

There will be ice on the moon
There will be glass in my eyes
There will be thorns in my heart
There will be broken bits inside
There won't be sun on my face
And not one smile to be seen
There will be salty lemon cuts
All over every inch of me

Cause I am lost
And I am used
And I am desperately a wreck here without you
I am deaf, too tired to sleep
Oh I am horribly alone and incomplete

There won't be fireworks or stars
There won't be flowers anywhere
It will be winter all year long
And darling, I won't even care
And all the movies will be sad
And everybody will be drunk
I'll smoke a million cigarettes
And never talk to anyone

Cause I am lost
And I am used
And I am desperately a wreck here without you
I am deaf, too tired to sleep
Oh I am horribly alone and incomplete

There will be ice on the moon
Glass in my eyes
Thorns in my heart
And broken bits inside

Life is peachy 06-03-2010 05:23 AM

All I wanna do!
(You are not my real mother)
Is kill you
(Should I beat and stab and **** her?)
All I wanna do!
(You are not my real mother)
Is kill you
(Should I beat and stab and **** her?)
All I wanna do!
(You are not my real mother)
Is kill you
(Should I beat and stab and **** her?)
All I wanna do!
(You are not my real mother)
Is kill you
(Should I beat and stab and **** her?)

Looking back I was never ever right
You were my step-mom who always wanted me out of your sight
I would come walkin' in and I 'd say hello,
but you slap me and you make some f**ked up comment about my
clothes
But I tried to let it pass, but the visions in my head
were with you, with a knife up your ass, laying dead
so I pop some more caps in your ass,
Now your son is not so fun
Motherf**king bitch! Never try to play me!!!

aklx 06-03-2010 06:01 AM

I'll never take part in the growing population
Or waste my time with further education (hooha!)
Forget what we know, it's just a big show
What they want to control
So jaded and frustrated
It's all so complicated
Fashion, no passion surrounds me

All I know is I've heard this all before
Reality's a bore (is a bore)
You ask me to believe in something fake,
well I can't bring myself to do what
You want me to (want me to)
This is who we are and (who we are)
nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change

I can't take part in the business man illusion,
I'll take my chance in the real world confusion
Don't blame us, who do we trust when they're so dishonest
No patience, this nation's obsessed with exploitation
Lying, denying surrounds me

All I know is I've heard this all before
Reality's a bore (is a bore)
You ask me to believe in something fake,
well I can't bring myself to do what
You want me to (want me to)
This is who we are and (who we are)
Nothing's gonna change

(what!) Don't think you can ignore us (ignore us)
Don't tell me that we're to blame(we're to blame)
Don't pick our future for us(for us)
Or act like we're the same

All I know is I've heard this all before
Reality's a bore (is a bore)
You ask me to believe in something fake,
well I can't bring myself to do what
You want me to (want me to)
This is who we are and (who we are)
Nothing's gonna change

Thanks for nothing (I've heard this all before),
Thanks for nothing (reality's a bore),
Thanks for nothing (it'll never be the same),
Thanks for nothing (and nothing's gonna change)

Life is peachy 06-03-2010 06:46 AM

The hurt inside is fading
This shits gone way too far
All this time I've been waiting
Oh I cannot grieve anymore
For once inside awaking
I'm done, I'm not a whore
You've taken everything
and, Oh I cannot give in anymore

Rhapsody 06-03-2010 12:17 PM

Everything you think you know baby
Is wrong
And everything you think you had baby
Is gone

Certain things turn ugly when you think too hard
And nagging little thoughts change into things you can't turn off
Everything you think you know baby
Is wrong

It's all over but the crying
Fade to black I'm sick of trying
Took too much and now I'm done
It's all over but the crying

Do you really think I'm made of stone baby?
C'mon!
That we only love the things we own?
Baby you're wrong

Pnuemonia[Blue] 06-03-2010 12:21 PM

Dreaming comes so easily
'Cause it's all that I've ever known
True love is a fairy tale
I'm damaged, so how would I know

I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've
taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've
taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged, as I'm sure you know

There's mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but I can't go back

Pnuemonia[Blue] 06-03-2010 12:21 PM

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me

Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try

Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me

You don't define me, you don't define me

_Mish_ 06-03-2010 02:07 PM

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, No expression
Hide my head, I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, No tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles, it's a very very
Mad World
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, Sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, Look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
And I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad World
Mad World

Enlarging your world

Mad World

Neo_Geisha 06-03-2010 07:29 PM

you make me come
you make me complete
you make me completely miserable

iamEmilyG 07-03-2010 04:43 AM

Come and rescue me, I'm burning can't you see?
Come and rescue me, only you can, set me free.
Come and rescue me.
Rescue me.

Life is peachy 07-03-2010 05:44 AM

Now the world is gone I'm just one
Oh please help me
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please go help me

Wakeful Dreamer. 07-03-2010 09:31 AM

I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had...

Life is peachy 07-03-2010 09:47 AM

I, don't run around
Trying to be, what's not within me
Look, into my eyes
I am afraid
You're just a wanna-be

too late I'm dead
precision planning
extraction demanding
the best psychiatrist psychic soothsayers (soothsayers)

analysing my instincts
you got it all figured out
too late I'm dead
too late I'm dead
you should have said I would have hung around a little longer
too late I'm dead
you should have said I would have hung around a little longer
too late i'm dead

_Mish_ 07-03-2010 11:55 AM

she says the carpet’s for sweeping stuff under
she says you don’t want to open the can
who needs a naval if it’s not for gazing?
well i’m doing the best that i can

he’s such a happy boy
cries every time he drinks beer
he thinks too much not enough
don’t leave me here
cos i’m sick and i’m cold and i’m happy
i’m naked and yours to devour but i’m not alone
i always go crazy like that when i listen to winter
i don’t think i want to go home

he says you love her so don’t let her leave you
he says there isn’t a question to ask
no need to try to look into the future
when you still haven’t dealt with the past

he’s such a happy boy
cries every time he drinks beer
he thinks too much not enough
don’t leave me here
cos i’m sick and i feel like a cliche
depressed and ecstatic at once but i’m not alone
i would be embarrassed but shame was never my forte
i think i had better go home
I can’t make decisions any more
i can’t write easily as before

Rhapsody 07-03-2010 02:38 PM

I've got 3 strong arms,
1 enormous nose,
9 left feet and 27 toes,
i've got no brain but thats the way it goes,
what you see is what you get W.I.S.W.I.G (cd)

who needs hair ?
whats the use of teeth ?
mine all fell out, there's no more underneath,
but if you love me, take me as i am :woot:
what you see is what you get W.I.S.W.I.G !

(none of that ^^ is true x.x i just really love that song)

Life is peachy 07-03-2010 09:12 PM

My mind's done with this
Ok, I've got a question
Can I throw it all away?
Take back what's mine
So I take my time, guiding the blade down the line
Each cut closer to the vein (bleed, bleed)

This state is elevating, as the hurt turns into hating
Anticipating all the ****ed up feelings again

iamEmilyG 07-03-2010 09:14 PM

Used to be lovestruck, now I'm just ****ed up, pull up my sleeve and see the pattern of my cuts

Buttons. 08-03-2010 01:18 AM

I'm just a teenage drama queen,
Throw my guts up for self esteem.

Alix 08-03-2010 01:53 AM

Queen Adreena-razor-blade sky

i rip open
clouds with no faces
she undoes herself
for a slice of your pie
razor-blade sky
razor-blade sky
i quench your thirst
i bleed you dry
help you make your bed
come undone
razor-blade sky
razor-blade sky
identifying marks
our history picked out in stars
we rip open the firmament
razor-blade sky
razor-blade sky
sky, sky, sky
sky, sky, sky
sky, sky, sky
sky, sky...
forever and ever and ever.

Dreamer And Believer 08-03-2010 05:37 AM

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.


Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

Life is peachy 08-03-2010 06:34 AM

I need somebody, someone
Can’t somebody help me?
All I need is to be
Loved just for me


I look
I sign
I need
Someone
Inside
To help
Me out
With what
I'm trying
I'm crying
I'm frying
In a pile of
****
I'm dying
I'm dying  
I'm dying  

Life is peachy 08-03-2010 08:27 PM

Father (father)
Father (father)
Father (father)
Father (father)
Father into your hands, I COMMIT my spirit
Father into your hands, why have you forsaken me?
In your eyes, forsaken me
In your thoughts, forsaken me
In your heart, forsaken me

aklx 08-03-2010 10:04 PM

You are wrong, ****ed, and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING
I haven't slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, mother****er
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING

Shallow skin, I can paint with pain
I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain
Everyday it's the same - I LOVE, YOU HATE
But I guess I don't care any more...
Fix my problems with the blade
While my eyes turn from blue to gray
God, the worst thing happened to me today
But I guess I don't care anymore...

You are wrong, ****ed, and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING
I haven't slept cince I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, mother****er
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING

My flaws are the only thing left that's pure
Can't really live, can't really endure
Everything I see reminds me of her
God I wish I didn't care anymore
The more I touch, the less I feel
I'm lying to myself that it's not real
Why is everybody making such a big ****ing deal?
I'm never gonna care anymore

What the hell am I doing?
Is there anyone left in my life?
What the **** was I thinking?
Anybody want to tell me I'm fine?
Where the hell am I going?
Do I even need a reason to hide?
I am only betrayed
I am only conditioned to die


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