hmm I'm feeling very idk today.sorry can't explain. Pointless post again I suck =\

Jill, you do NOT suck sweetheart *cuddles tight* Maybe ick is the only way to explain how you feel.

Oh my goodness, Reggie discovered yesterday that he is big enough to jump up onto the sofa now, this makes my time on the laptop much harder as he can now reach the wires and likes to jump accross the keyboard! I don't think I'll be playing WoW whilst he has his out time!!

Saw the council today regarding my housing situation, got to go back on the 20th. Argh, first time since my injection that I've been anxious in a place, really didn't like it. The lady saw that I was struggling and suggested I got myself an advocate such as a social worker to help me deal with things like this. I've been told that a few times, but I don't feel like I'm bad enough to warrant that, I'm sure there are people in more need than me and I know our social care system is stretched, I think I'd just feel guilty and a nuisance (- spelling?!)

Huggles and waves all round.

qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq1

^^ reggie just typed this, lol - I think he's saying hello to the wardies!!

Hello Reggie & Hayley =] *gives you both a big cuddle*

Hope it gets sorted soon!! xx

*huggles Helen* yeah me too as my eviction date is 16th august, but I'm on holiday with eoghan from 5th august til the 20th!! whoops!!! How's your day been so far - still okish?

I spy a Crimson! *huggles*

Sorry guys can't do this rl and I really need arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!. please make this stop .

Sorry I have nothing constructive to say for replies but its taken me 2.5 hrs just to read the 6 pages I had missed over the weekend...

*sits and hopes for quicksand to sink away in*

I can't take life any more. :sad:

*offers hugs to all who are struggling and can accept hugs*
I really wish I could do more.

Hels - *hugs*
Hayley - Good luck. *hugs*
Jill - I wish I could honey. *offers you cuddles*
Crimson - That's a mammoth effort to read. How are you doing? *hugs*
Lindsay - Is it okay if I *offer you hugs*? Do you want to talk about anything?

I got up at about 3 am. I'm freaking out about having to leave the house to see my psychiatrist in 4 hours. *screams silently*

Lol Hello Reggie :)
*Hugs Hayley* My social worker came with me to my benefits interview , I guess he was acting as an advocate , I think that if it makes you that anxious and from what you say it does you should ask for an advocate , I really think it would help you with your situation Hayley. I'm really sorry I haven't been on WoW latley ,I'm a "bit" low hopefully later in the week we both will be online together.

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Kahlia*

I wish I knew what to say / do to make it all better :S

Well, my mother in law killed my daughters birthday, made her cry more than once and then berated her for it... I kinda feel guilty about it because she told us she was going to take her to forest faire and instead took her to the house she's housesitting at and had her helping clean it. We agreed to let her go to forest faire or we would have taken her to a place out of the house that she wanted to go to (she wanted chuck e cheese, the zoo or a place called bouncing bears)... on top of which she kept lying to her and telling her it wasn't her birthday, etc etc etc and actually yelled at me and d because we let her know when her b-day was and when my sister called from across the country to with her a happy b-day i let her talk. my sister is 5 time zones away. i'd explain more but it'd be a rant. *note* we did have a in home bday party and her friend even got to come over (wih very short notice but they made it over) at the end she had fun and was happy. because of how her day started though we let the kids all stay up late and let her friend stay and play till midnight.
And my brother in law called to let us know (yesterday) that instead of being deployed to iraq in a few months he's being deployed this morning and going straight from iraq to afganistan and it'll be a total of a yr and 5 months of deployment instead of a solid year total. My husband wants to go now to protect him.

I'm conflicted on how I feel about it all but I'm hoping now that my daughter's b-day is over my mil will actually stay at the place she's house sitting and move out of my place because i don't think i can take much more of this.

Hayley - Oh dear, really hope you do then. Fingers crossed. Where you two going??? My day's been up & down. Sorry I missed your post...

I'm soooooooooo excited =D

*hugs april* I care. I always read your r/v thread, and you should not just shut up, if you did we would definitely miss you.

*hugs helen* I'm sorry that your lowness is back. Try to hold onto that happy feeling, do something nice for yourself. Oo.. wait i just refreshed the page and saw you were excited! yay! why you excited?

*hugs lia* How r u today?

*hugs mark* I'm sorry about feeling like you have to wear a happy mask all the time around your family. Its good that you found someone you can talk to about self harm though. Its nice when you find someone that doesnt "freak out" or anything like that.

*hugs jill* thanks for the hugs. You can make it through this hun.

*hugs hayley* hope the stuff with your housing gets sorted out. Hi Reggie!

*hugs crimson* I'm sorry about your daughters birthday and about your brother in laws deployment. Sounds like things aren't really slowing down or getting easier for you. :-/ *extra hugs*

*hugs kahlia* I hope that your psychiatrist is helpful and that you are able to make it there. I wish there was something more I could say that would help with the anxiety.

*gently hugs lindsay* is there anything we can do? need to talk about anything? we are here to listen you know.

*hugs heather* and *waves to owen*

I don't really feel like I can take much more. I feel so confined. Stuck between places where I don't have anything. I went out for a walk last night at like 11pm, thinking that maybe if I walked long enough I might forget or walk out of my life or something... obviously that didn't work, b/c no matter what, I am confined to the streets of this city. I'm kind of a mess today still. Have to go to work in 2 hours though. So somehow i'll have to pull it together.

My moods keep switching (incase you hadn't already noticed). I'm excited because I'm going to Alton Towers tomorrow for an RYL meet. It's a theme park & a good one at that aha =]

Sorry you're struggling so much sweetheart *cuddles tight*

Oo that sounds really fun Helen! I wish I could come to the meet up lol. *catches a virtual airplane*
*cuddles back*

****, ****, ****! So ****ing pissed off. I don't care! I don't care anymore! I hate my life here and just want to be gone! This anger's going to turn into tears and I can't cry. Just why?! Even the smallest things...Why can't I have the smallest thing? I give up.

Wish you could come too, it is lots and lots of fun *cuddles*

Lia, why can't you cry sweetheart? Do you want to talk about why you're so angry???

*cuddles lia tightly* Don't give up please! Hang in there, you can get through this. What happened hun?

Nothing. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry, I'm being crap and unsupportive at the moment. I'm so sorry.

xxx