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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 12:22 AM

eh I dunno how I am actually. Confused I guess... I was happy and proud and even had fun earlier. Then I dunno I just started feeling lonely and kinda down, like I wanted to cry but I dunno why so I'm not dwelling on it... maybe if I just let it be it'll go away. Or maybe it's built up anxiety from earlier working its way out.

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 12:32 AM

*hugs Crimson*
I'm a bit like that at the moment, feeling okish for a bit, then wanting to cry and cut and scream the next.

PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 12:35 AM

*huggles Oliver*
That's exactly it.

MammaMia 22-04-2010 12:36 AM

*cuddles everybody*

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 01:02 AM

*cuddles Crimson and Helen*

My head is really screwing me about at the moment. the last few days have been a bit up and down.
had 4th appointment with my counsellor the other day, its the 6th counsellor I've had and first one I've ever stayed for more than 3 sessions and it was a good session, we mainly talked about how my coming out to mum went because he knew I was going to be doing it, then he said the next few sessions we will be doing a sort of map thing of my life and looking at who I am, not just in terms of gender but in everything, which I think will be really good.

today had tutorial for language of music, which is meant to be about 5 people but the others dont turn up so its just me and the tutor, which is good. she also asked about how it went with my mum, because she knew I was planning on coming out over the hols and she is great she just gets it and she gets that it is massive for me and also realises that because I've come I am not suddenly happy and fine, so she is being good, giving me structured things to do with my essay and saying that they need to take into acount everything else that is going on in my life. but I'm seriously panicing about these 2 essays due in for a months time, because I really struggle with writing anything, like even on here it takes me ages to write stuff because I really struggle to express myself when talking/writing, even though its in my head, so I was telling her this and she was saying its ok don't panic, but of course I am, then she gave me a sort of pep talk saying how I am good at somethings otherwise I wouldn't be at music college, I didn't believe her and telling me how I'll get more confidence gradually and how I have come out of myself in the last few months, because when she taught me last term in a group I didn't talk.

its ok you dont have to read that, I think I just needed to write it down was all going on in my head a bit, I'm just sort of falling apart again, what with deadlines and recital coming up I am seriously panicing, my head is all over the place and I'm scared, because I got seriously bad suicidal thoughts and urges earlier and havn't had them for a while.
anyway I'm going to shut up, cos I am rambling and probably really annoying everyone.
*wonders off so pepople don't have to see him*

MammaMia 22-04-2010 01:06 AM

*cuddles Oliver* Sorry it's not more. But I have read your post and wanted to let you know.

PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 01:10 AM


Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 2254651)
*cuddles Oliver* Sorry it's not more. But I have read your post and wanted to let you know.


PoisonedApple 22-04-2010 01:13 AM

*leaves on last supersized hug for everyone then runs out the door to head home*

frenchhorn 22-04-2010 01:16 AM

*wonders back in and cuddles Helen and Crimson* thank you both.


MammaMia 22-04-2010 01:26 AM

*cuddles you & then hides too*

SoMuchMore 22-04-2010 07:39 AM

*hugs crimson* its hard when you feel lots of things at once. I'm glad that you had fun at your work party tho!

*hugs oliver* I read your post too. You dont have to shut up at all though, we really don't mind. I'm glad that you are liking your new counselor. Sounds like some of the "work" your going to do could be very helpful.

*finds helen and hugs her*

I am feeling kinda low right now. Ugly and stupid.. Unproductive and unnecessary.. (lets see how many words that start with U that i can call myself heh). Is it as bad as I think in the looks department? (Picture below). I know that this is shallow and insecure of me... but I was hanging with some ppl and these guys were telling my friend how fantastic she looks and nobody said anything to me.. and its stupid but it made me feel so ugly. And i've just been so self conscience about how i look ever since i found out about my ex cheating. *sigh* im sorry. I dont mean to be petty.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : picture - sorry about the kinda fake smile that may or may not make me look possessed

CrazyHayley 22-04-2010 09:42 AM

Good morning/afternoon/night where ever you all may be! *blows kisses round the ward!*

I feel like a broken record in saying apologies for no individual replies, but when I let over 24hours go by the amount of posts can seem overwhelming. BUT there are a few points that stick in my mind (and I feel awful that they can't all take priority, as I don't want you thinking I value any posts over others becuase I don't...) Anyhoo....

April - did it occur to you that the people who have consumed less calories and lost weight may also have an ED?! Try not to compare yourself although I knows its hard. You are not a fat pig or a failure. *huggles*

Oliver - go you on the progress with your councellor and with having such a supportive music teacher. Try not to panic too much and I hope that we can help you in any way we can even if its just huggles, so...*huggles!*

Crimson - whoohoo on all that you achieved, sorry that your feeling mixed though. I hope thats passed by now *huggles*

*huggles Mark, Helen, Kahlia, Laura, JK* how are you guys all doing today? A little bit better I hope *sends positve thoughts your way*

*welcomes Julie to the ward - huggles*

*looks around for Nicole* Has anyone heard from our youngster recently?!

"oh puppy sinclair! Its time for out fag break!"

*goes out to smoking shelter*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 09:44 AM

awww i feel special people noticed me
i no it sounds lame but it's true

Snow White. 22-04-2010 09:48 AM

^ It's not lame at all. I saw this on live view and thought I'd pop in cause you made me smile in chat, so thank you, hope you are okay, keep talking xxxx *squish*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 09:51 AM

awww i'm glad

can we post phoros in here
and i've just learnt how to use live view yay me

CrazyHayley 22-04-2010 09:51 AM

*pops head in from smoking shelter to respond to Julie*

Well I'm sure that you are a special person worth noticing and its not lame for feeling that way at all. I hope that you find us 'loons' helpful and supportive when you need us. I stay in here all the time now, even on my good days so I can keep up to date on things and be helpful when I can. The regulars in here are all becoming real friends to me, well as real as virtual ones can be...if that makes sense?!....I value them all deeply and think highly of them. Perhaps I'll be able to add you to that group soon. *huggles*

*goes back to smoking fag outside*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 09:55 AM

*reads the same sentance like 5 times* not coz ur typing my reading isnt good i guess, coz i has dislexia

*taps my head* i has people

CrazyHayley 22-04-2010 10:17 AM

Julie - I've no idea what Live View is - so go you! I'm not great with technology, lol As for photos yup they can be posted in here. the whole ward can be triggering sometimes, but if we think there will be a likely trigger in a post or photo we put an extra warning on it for people. Otherwise, just post away, whether its photos, links, or music or just general waffle. You'll get the feel for things soon enough.

I'm being socialble by my own choice today - whoohoo! I'm going jewellery shopping at 1pm with a friend of mine who also has M.E. Shopping with a fellow M.E sufferrer is good as we both know we have to pace ourselves and have rest breaks for our muscles etc. I need to get a new lip bar and I'm thinking of getting a jewelled thingy for my tragus as at the moment its just a silver hoop with ball. Thinking perhaps a crystal ball bit....gosh I'm getting more sparkly like my mum as I get older. Well I'd rather people look at the jewellery than the lines appearing in my forehead, LOL!!!

After that I should have time for a nap and to cook a healthy dinner before a different friend of mine comes over for our wii fit night. Phew! I'm a little bit anxious that I may have booked in too much and thrown myself in at the deep end after such a hermit PMDD time, but I'm hoping that once I get going I'll enjoy myself and it'll be all good.

Ooh I spy a JK *huggles*

xxjuliexx 22-04-2010 10:22 AM

*feels super silly* um.. wats M.E.

Kahlia1981 22-04-2010 10:26 AM

*quickly jumps into the ward to offer hugs to everybody*

Really not doing well. Not up to typing much so will try and get back in here when I'm feeling a bit more eloquent.

*hugs all and looks for Puppy SinClair as she needs some "puppy love"*

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