thank you for the hot choc :) *sits and drinks*

*cuddles Manda*

i just kinda had a weird moment where i thought/worried too much about a few people and then i kinda turned on myself :/

*cuddles you*

*hugs you* your obviously a really caring person sweetie. Try not to beat yourself up over it. *offers you a teddy and hot chocolate?*

oooh *takes teddy* sorry i dont really like hot chocolate >.< i do my best to care for everyone... i think i may have neglected myself i guess....

maybe its time to spend a bit of time taking care of yourself? *cuddles*

^^^^ I agree with Sophie. Let us help you take care of yourself x

:) thank you *hugs* i am gonna try and take some time out each day from now on where i will just do things for me

I feel so stupid...pathetic... etc
because I don't know why I feel like crying,
but I know if I start I won't be able to stop. :notsure: :crying:

sounds like a good idea zappachild :)

There's nothing wrong with that Manda. Crying is a healthy release and we all have times when we need a damn good cry even if we don't know why. There is no shame in it and I have lots of tissues!! (hugs too). You aren't pathetic, promise xx

*hugs Amanda* i feel like that alot too so i cant really relate to how your feeling

it's so stupid though, cuz I don't know if I'm gonna start crying...
or screaming... I don't know if I want to curl up in a fetal position
and bawl like a ****in baby or totally fly off the handle and punch
something or whatever. My teeth are grinding... and I am not doing
it on purpose... they just won't stop... someone make it stop!!!! pleeease!!!!

I just feel so... :sigh: :tantrum: :wailing: :wall: :crying: :hair: :-(

Manda, I'm sorry. I would make it stop if I could, I honestly would. Please be gentle with yourself. I've been there, I know how horribly frustrating and conflicting it feels when you try to work it out but it will pass. *cuddles and thoughts to you*

thanks loads Pomegranate.
I think maybe all the **** in
my "My Life is Shitty" rant
(in Vets Support) is hitting
me like all at once.... *sighs*

*cuddles*

*hugs everyone*

Still struggling and my head is still really bad- even though I've just had nearly 12 hours sleep, and woke up at a reasonable time. That is something that's not happened for a while :(

*hugs Helen* Are you still ill hun? That sucks.

I have a meeting at college today to ask about transfering to a college in Brighton. I'm really not getting on well at Worthing, and they wont let me do a full time course which I really need to do to get into Winchester.
Wish me luck? x

I am indeed. Migraines suck. I don't know how on earth Manda puts up with these daily :blink:

Good Luck hun, I'm sure they'll understand and allow you to change xx

Sorry didn't reply sooner but i had to come offline, No i'm not ok and i dunno what to do but it doesn't matter anymore :(

*hugs for all* xxxx

Hey all

*hugs everyone*

I'm as manic as I don't know what. My head is totally buzzing. It's almost 10 p.m. and I feel like ringing my friends up and asking them to go party with me. Something that none of them would appreciate. There's only one of my friends who would be up, and that's because she'll be at work ... so not really an option. And while I do prefer mania to the depressed state I've been in I know that it's only going to be short lived and the drop is going to be H-U-G-E. I never come down from mania nicely ... I drop rapidly.

I'm going to remove myself to the smoking shelter where I hope my giggling doesn't offend anyone.

*giggles her way over to the smoking shelter*

*hugs to everyone* zowie i wish you the best of luck let us know how it goes. Kahlia your giggling doesn't offend me :) it's nice to hear happy noises

*hugs to all*

Giggling is great =)

Thanks guys for coping with my giggling. Lets all be thankful that I'm not behind the wheel of a car right now. Last time I was driving in this state I asked my passenger if I could drive off the "on" ramp of a motorway. I suppose I should also be thankful that I asked and didn't just go ahead and do it. Hehehe. Right now though, that just seems funny.

I'm going to sit here and keep giggling for awhile although I should be trying to go to sleep. I just know that sometimes when you are struggling with a deep depression someone who is sitting there laughing randomly can be a bit much to bear. So I'll keep sitting and smoking and if my giggling randomly does get a bit much, please feel free to tell me to shut up or just ignore me.

*runs inside, hugs everyone, sneaks her way to the fridge and steals a soft-drink and runs back outside to the smoking shelter {all while giggling at random things}*

*hugs Helen and Kahlia* you can giggle if you want its safer than you driving! How are you today Helen?

*snuggles both*

I'm in pain :( and still suidical. >.<

space for one more in here?
My boyfriend just got his eviction notice, I was already having a crappy few weeks and it's not getting any better. Now my weekend plans are spoiled. Rather than having fun with him all weekend, we have to get him out of the apartment by tonight...

Always room for everyone :)

I hope your boyfriend can find somewhere to stay hunni *snuggles*

He'll be friends house hopping until he runs out of places or finds somewhere permanent, and when he runs out of places he'll either have to go to his aunt or move to Indiana with his mom... either way it sucks. Thanks though *snuggles back*

I have been to my meeting and am still at college. He keeps saying he doesn't want to do anything that'll add to my stress, but he can't see that not letting me do what I want to do is more stressful! He wanted to talk to my dad so he sent me away for three quaters of an hour while he talked to him and I'm due back in fifteen minutes.
Thanks for the luck :) x

I can understand what he's saying, but surely he gets how much more stressful it would be for you stay?

*sends more good luck*

The other college wont let me transfer to them because they're over-subscribed. But I am allowed to take Media Studies, which will bump my UCAS points up.
I hate Worthing college, but I guess I have to stick with it as it's only free this year while I'm 19. x

Ha!!! I stay in the bed up to 23 hours day sometimes because I can't move without the pain getting soooo much worse. :stars:
It sucks.

Poor you hunnie *snuggles*

I'm sorry Zowie, but least you can do media studies at the other college eh?

Grrrr I am feeling guilty for missing a lecture & tutorial again today when I've been off already this week & last week. pissed off because someone emailed me reminding me to contact my notetakers (i have 3 covering 4 days) if I'm not going to be in my lectures in advance, like I hadnt done so today but I had :( ill because I've got a ****ing migraine and feel like I'm gonna be sick. Tired cus of change of routinue. Worried about me and a few of my friends. Stressed about everything, uni, life etc. Suidical cus of all the **** going on in my life, wanna give up & die.

(I know you know some of this anyway...but needed to say it?)

*cuddles Helen lots*

*Snuggles Helen loads and hugs zowie tightly*

Not long to go now.

Took some painkillers half an hour ago, and psychologically i feel like i'm choking.
Ridiculous really - but it stems from my recent OD (i took..alot..and was hospitalised), where i can "feel" them sliding down my throat.

Er. I sound like an idiot.
Sorry.

Keep your chin up Helen.

*Big hugs to everyone*
x

*hugs you three*

Laura, please don't?

What's the point in me struggling to go on? Can't I just die already? I keep having near misses with cars, one was an honest mistake but I was like damm afterwards. Maybe it'll be a train that kills me? A bus even? =\

Don't even want to go in tomorrow. The only reason I am is because I want to see Nosheen, James & anyone who's going to the start of year service that I know already...

*waves to all*
hi, this is my first stop in the attempt at getting help. cant face the actual psych ward...long story, and there probably arent any beds and i think it may make me worse...this seemed like the best place to come. i am so alone right now...thanks

*curls into a ball shaking*

*offers you cuddles*
You are not alone anymore!!
I am here if you need/want to talk.

*offers cuddles* Manda is right :]

Have you got any further with finding a counsellor/therapist/going to the doctors Hells?

And welcome insomniac :)
x

*huggles and cuddles everyone*

Anyone want to hear some good news?
Kate (behindblueyes) just squeezed Hilary's hand!!! :D

What's wrong with Kate ?
If you don't mind me asking of course.. :)
Fantastic news though!!
xx

She's been in hospital for about a week or so. this is the link for the thread. there have been a few updates buti cant remember which pages they are on, the most recent update should be on the last page though :)

That's fantastic news Sophie!!! :D I hope she comes round soon xx

*hugs everyone* Thinking of you guys x

i hope so too. hopefully the party we're having for her will help a bit. and a few of us are sending her stuff so she's goign ot be getting a bit of mail to help her wake up :)

I just read the thread.
My heart goes out to her/family/friends. *Big hugs to you*
Fantastic news that she held Hilary's hand though - that's a really good sign!!
*Big hugs*
xx

thanks :) we're all partying for kate and hoping more good news will come in soon :)

*huggles both of you* how are you guys?

Well I've come down .... as we knew I would .... I'm not even wanting to answer emails and text messages from my friends. I want to do something really *really* really stupid. Like coming off all my medication. I don't even think it would make a difference right now. I'm wondering if my time SI free matters, or whether it's just something not even worth counting or celebrating. I just .... meh.

*** great news about Kate ... here's hoping more comes quickly ***

I'm just going to go lie under the bed.