I alwasy read that as "i got LAID" *shakes her head and sits in the naughty corner to think about what she has done*

*Adds a bowl of brownie bites to the table. Helps herself to the cheese tray and gulps fizzy drink*
Thank you.

I got two checks for my bio birthday. Money for petrol for a little trip to the mountains.

I'm blue today. Want to curl up in my husband's lap when he gets home tonight. Only i weigh 150% of what he does.

I got a most precious package from England today. From my teen twin. A lovely card and stand and adorable charm for my bracelet.

So i'm weird but a happy weird.
*hugs all around*

Why are you blue Susan?:(
that wont dooo!!

awww that was nice of her heher :] did it cheer you up at all?
*hugs*

Well that pissed on my parade...
I felt so good...

my 'dad' is an idiot...
I heard him in the kitchen before...getting cereal....but im not allowed ANYTHING because we "dont have that much food"

****YOU"DAD"

*Cries* I wish my mum was here :'(

*snuggles Alex and Susan*

I'm all set to cry. Just started thinking about Mark Speight (SMART presenter) and now I'm crying. Everything aches. My chest really hurts. I hate this =[

*makes an invisible corner and hides in it*

*finds Alex*

What's up hun :( Your 'dad'?

No I'm supposed to be invisible...
My mum came home and said I COULD get food...but then I just felt fat and greedy...

Iwanttohurt..

Ypu're not fat hun and try not to hurt yourself hun *snuggles*

^ I couldn't agree more. Though I'm too late so I hope you're ok.

I can't help but wonder.

*squishes Helen*
Whatcha wonderin?

*pounces on Alexx* Allleexxxx!!!! *hugs you* Missed you x

*joins in wondering what Helen is wondering* You alright hun?

I just killed a rabbit whilst driving home. I feel like a murderer :(

I'm wondering if Alex is okay and now I'm wondering if my young friend is okay, she's taken another massive od (not including the od she took two days ok) :crying: Plus me & em have been dicussing exciting details about something hehe. TOO EXCITED NOW!!!! (About my holiday & this event :P)

OMG I'M TOO AWAKE :|

Poor you Emma darling, it always suck. Poor rabbit :( Poor Emma :( *massive cuddles*

What exciting event?? *feels left out*

It's a series of events...


Emma's getting engaged to Tony. So then we're attending her engagement party. Then she's having a hen night/week away and we're going to that. Then the night before we'll be entertaing her with Sarah & Jess probably. Then the actual wedding =D


I am joint cheif bridemaid so I have the fun job of assissting in choosing the dress for Emma & our dresses for the bridemaids. (Plus everything else!!) Oh which means going to B'ham NEC to the Wedding show thing in October.


But Emma has a question for you first =D x

*hugs alexx* Ur dad sounds like a fhead :-( i'm sorry hon!!

*waves hellooo to emma*!!! How r u there? u keeping well?


I'm struggling but oh well..i'm still alive and still safe atm*leaves some chocolate ice cream for ppl*

*jumps on jem and gives him a massive cuddle*

Keep staying alive =D X

*hugs everyone*

Just got back, am rather exhausted, but wanted to leave hugs for you all. I'll catch up on what I've missed later.

much love and more *hugs*

xxx

Hannnnnnnnnnnnnnnna is home WOOOOOOOP!

Welcome home sweetie.

*leaves for lots of cuddles for whenever you want them :P*

:) thanks sweetie!

*takes cuddles, and returns for whenever you want them*

HI HANNAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

oh dear :/
trying to get ready to go out...
hair ISNT DOING WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TOOOOOO!!!!!
Its too long...
and look shitty :/
ew

*hugs alexx*

Thankiesss...
Its not long enough to stay straight and sleek....
its too long to stay messed up...(intentionally messed up i mean :P)
Im in limbo!!! :O
I'll just blag it...
"yeh...I MEANT for it to be this way :notsure: :-D"

EMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :-D I MISSED YOU LOADS AND LOADS AND LOADS AND LOOOAAAADDDDSSSS *Squishes tightly*

I'm fiiiinnnneeeeeee....
I hope your friend is ok though :(

Ok...wish me look....I'm going out...(for the night but my phone will be on if anyone wants to get hold of me :-)) my hairs a mess....but sod it i guess :/

^ i bet your hair looks ace =) and even if it doesn't you'll still pull it off. have a good night!

Hana, thanks for the hugs, gonna take 'em now :P

Alex, I'm sure the hair is great =D Um my friend....not really :(

Ahhh I'm going out tonight which is great :)

(But my peroid has come which is good because I will have no peroid & no peroid pain whilst I'm away, but means I may be stuck with the cramps all night. HOPE the painkillers have kicked in by 6.30 :( because I don't want to suffer....whilst I'm there)

Oh and my cousin Ceri, who I told you about being pregnant, is having a girl WOOOOOOOP I WAS RIGHT!!!! =D

I feel really bad that I don't support people enough. I can never find the words to say sorry.

Aww bless Hells, I'm guessing you were hoping for a girl?
Fairy, I always feel exactly the same. But sometimes a hug is more than enough y'know?
lil princess, what's happening hun?

*cuddles everyone* I hope you're right Kuwairo.

Oo, that's good news Hells.

:'( i just can't take anymore sh*t happening in my life, i'm getting engaged soon and i don't know if i actually want to cause that means i've gotta change the way i am etc etc, i don't want to be here anymore, i don't deserve to be here and i don't deserve anything.

xx

You do deserve to be here lil-princess *hugs* Why do you have to change the way you are if you get engaged?

I am :p
How do you mean change the way you are? It only changes your status hun. Unless you're thinking farther ahead than I am...
You deserve to be here, and you deserve to be happy being here. Promise.

He doesn't like the thought of getting married to a self harmer, so i've gotta sort my mental health out before anything happens, but he is supportive in a way just not in the way i want him to be, he expects me to be happy 24/7 now i'm with him but i'm not.

I do absoluty adore him but i just don't think i'll be able to cope with anything else in my life i hate it, i've fallen out with so many friends and i just don't wanna be here anymore i can't take any more. xx

I haven't been too supporting either. Sorry all.

Helen dear, from the point of view of a seamstress, please watch what you choose for brides maid dresses! Make sure they suit the body types of all of the ladies in the wedding party. Hope you don't mind the warning.

I'm sorry. I'm away one day and i lose track of everything. Dang getting older is tough. I have to remember to take the fish oil that helps my memory.

hugs all around!

Hun does he know how you feel?
It's so hard giving up self harm, so he shouldn't be pressuring you to stop.
Let us help you through hun - keep fighting

Could you talk to him about how hard it is to stop and say that you really do want to get married, it just might take more time to get your mental health sorted out? *hugs*

He knows some parts on how i feel but not all of it :( i'm just scared and worried about he'll react if he finds out the whole thing about how i'm feeling etc etc, and yeah i think i will talk to him, i'm spending the day with tomorrow so maybe i should talk to him about it then, well when we get back from Brighton.

I want to keep fighting, but there is another part of me that doesn't want me to fight and to just give in, i just really don't feel safe right now :( xx

HI ALEXXXX!!! I'm sure your hair's wonderful, and I hope you're having a great time out :) *hugs*
*hugs Susan* hope you're ok over there?
*hugs Emma* I think telling him how you feel is a good idea sweetie. Good luck with it. *more hugs*
*hugs Ku* hope you're doing ok?
*hugs farawayfairy* how you going?

Caught up on a bit of sleep, but not enough yet, still shattered! I will read everything from last week, just maybe when I'm feeling slightly more awake. *huge hugs for anyone I've missed/who wants them*

I'm not too good to be honest. I'm struggling a lot and thinking it would just be easier if I gave up.

*sends hugs*

Hope you feel less tired soon Hannah.

Telling him is a good idea lil-princess. Good luck.

*hugs* thanks :) yeah I'll feel less tired once I've had a good night's sleep. One part I don't like about holidays, the endless hours of travelling to get there and back. Flight left at 5am Turkish time, and we left the hotel at 1.20am, it's just slightly tiring. Never can sleep on buses or planes either. lol, that was a lot of explaining. :S sorry!

Anything in particular you want to talk about sweetie?

Yeah travelling is exhausting! Hope you had a good time though?

I don't know to be honest. I'm just feeling rather low and struggling not to hurt myself but I don't want to spoil how long I've gone. It's getting harder and harder though. Having a bad time with memories too.

I'm okay. Trying to help a friend with a problem. Have a tension headache. Nothing criticle, just bits and pieces. A girlfriend i htough was coming over today is sick. but she and her husband had planned to come over on Wednesday anyway.

So, i may end up working today. 20 each serviettes and place mats to serge, press, and sew. 160 edges. Good time to meditate if my husband will let me. I think i'll end up doing them monday though.

*hugs blondiebear* I hope you get time to meditate.

PS i love road trips. When my husband drives i can sleep. but we live in a good place for road trips.
oh mercy do i have a headache!

Yeah, it was a good week. I'm just kind of sunburnt and bitten lots, lol.
*hugs you* I'm around here and there if you want to talk about anything sweetie.
hope your headache goes away soon, Susan, and I hope you get the chance to meditate.

Put lots of aftersun on *nods* I like the one we used to have - it smelt nice - I'd end up just sitting there with the bottle sniffing it hehe.
Thanks hun. I don't really know what to say to be honest but thanks anyway.

hehe aftersun is awesome! We got an aloe vera one which smells nice too! I think they do it on purpose hehe.
*hugs you*