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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

FlyingNy 26-11-2010 09:12 PM

*Hugs Mark and Nicole.*

What's wrong Nicole?

nicole94 26-11-2010 09:17 PM

*hugs lia*
i'm just fed up of all of this now :( i'm sat in the sitting room cause its the only place i can get internet, i'm sat by the window, but then my brother, sister and mum, are sat on the sofas the other side of the room, slagging me off. i mean, they are right in front of me, and they are talking about how lazy i am, and how much they hate me!!!! and theres so much noise in here. i hate noise! :(

Doikers 26-11-2010 09:23 PM

Oh Nicole Hun *Hugs* I'm sorry you're having such a rough time , could you get the net upstairs , your room maybe ? I'm sorry if that a lame bit of advice :S

FlyingNy 26-11-2010 09:27 PM

Put in loud music if you want to keep the internet? I know how you feel and it sucks. My family often sit around the dinner table insutling me. I've learnt to just ignore it and block them out, not let it hurt me just as I have blocked off so many other emotions. Anyway, rambling sorry.

nicole94 26-11-2010 09:28 PM

its not lame advice mark *hugs* it was rational, but unfortunatley our wireless is pretty crappy, and only works downstairs :( i just wish they would all leave me alone.
i love them but sometimes i wanna kill them
*hugs lia* i left my heeadphones at college :( and they would have a go at me if i put it on loud. my sister just started having a go at me aswell :(

SparkleKitten 26-11-2010 09:51 PM

Oh Nicole I know the feeling. Its terrible *hugs* I often take to going to bed early, like really early, to just hide :( I wish I could help more :(

*cuddles wardies*

nicole94 26-11-2010 09:57 PM

*hugs ribenalion* (sorry, your names just completley gone outta my head, theres so much in there atm.) i think i might go to bed soon actually, just to get away from them all.
how are you?

MammaMia 26-11-2010 09:57 PM

*cuddles everyone lots and lots*

Doikers 26-11-2010 10:01 PM

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lia*

I'm off to bed now , Night Night :) (Is it anoying that I say goodnight so often?)

nicole94 26-11-2010 10:04 PM

*hugs helen lots and lots*
*hugs mark goodnight*

Laura2.0 26-11-2010 10:05 PM

*hugs all* sorry I haven't been around lately. Didn't feel up to it.

FlyingNy 26-11-2010 10:23 PM

Not at all Mark. Night night *hugs*

How are you Lore?

I really want to cry. Like, really cry. The sort where you can't stop for ages and ages and your eyes hurt. But I can't.

nicole94 26-11-2010 10:27 PM

*hugs lia tight* whats up sweetie?
I WANT SNOW! i am literally sat here wishing for it XD

Laura2.0 26-11-2010 10:31 PM

*hugs lia* you can't cry? want to trade? I'm about to cry a lot lately..

Nicole: we got snow today and I'm hating it. Just come ver to south west Germany...

I came to realize that living with my family is not good for me, because I am always trying to please everybody around me. Then I tend to forget the things that are really important in life. Like applying to university and finding a job. It is not a pleasant thing to realize that my family is not good for me. It sucks. Life sucks.
I have no money, so can't mve out, so I'm stuck here with my family.
Sorry for the rant.

FlyingNy 26-11-2010 10:31 PM

What in the world is wrong with me? I am sat here, crying at last, hands gripping at my hair and trying not to scream, but I'm not even feeling. The reaction to the emotions is there, but the feelings aren't. Has the Ice Queen become me? Do I really no longer have emotions?

Lore, I just couldn't. And I'm sorry about your family. Maybe you should think about yourself more. As I am sure you have learnt, you can't please everyone at once. *Hugs*

Laura2.0 26-11-2010 10:33 PM

I think you do have emotions. Maybe you are not aware of them, but you wouldn't cry if there weren't emotions.
*hugs you tight* hope you are better soon

nicole94 26-11-2010 10:35 PM

*hugs lia* you are NOT an ice queen, i know that because you care, an ice queen wouldnt care. do you know whats started this off?
and ooh, laura, can you teleport me there? we were forecasted snow from wednesday to saturday, and we still have nothing :(

Laura2.0 26-11-2010 10:37 PM

Nicole: I'd love to!

*runs off to look for teleporter*

FlyingNy 26-11-2010 10:41 PM

I want snow too :(

Yes, I do. I was listening to Christmas music and one song came on that reminded me of her and I realised she's gone. And burst into tears. Over The First Noel.

Laura2.0 26-11-2010 10:43 PM

I can teleport you too lia. I'd love to have someone here... we could build a giant snowman in my frontyart :)

I just can't find my damn teleporter.

nicole94 26-11-2010 10:44 PM

*hugs lia* i'm sorry hun, theres not really much i can say. but it will get better hun *squishes*
:'( my cousin just text me. she miscarried. my little godchild. :(

FlyingNy 26-11-2010 11:12 PM

*Hugs* I'm sorry Nicole. I don't really know what to say :(

Lore, you could always use the TARDIS or we could apperate. Blast! No we can't, we're under 17.

Louise 26-11-2010 11:14 PM


Originally Posted by IceQueenHasAHeart (Post 2581213)
What in the world is wrong with me? I am sat here, crying at last, hands gripping at my hair and trying not to scream, but I'm not even feeling. The reaction to the emotions is there, but the feelings aren't. Has the Ice Queen become me? Do I really no longer have emotions?

your not an ice queen, it is good that you are crying you must be feeling some emotion it can be weird though. maybe go somewhere quiet where no one will here you and scream it might help.


Originally Posted by nicole94 (Post 2581226)
:'( my cousin just text me. she miscarried. my little godchild. :(

I so sorry about your cousin nicole *hugs*

SparkleKitten 26-11-2010 11:15 PM

*holds Lia*

*cuddles Nicole* Aww poor dear, is she okay? Are you okay?

*hugs Lore* Lot of families seem to be causing issues recently, I hope you're okay hun

*snuggles Mark* Nighty night x

Edit : *hugs Louise* how you feeling?

nicole94 26-11-2010 11:19 PM

*hugs lia, lore, and ribenalion*
i think shes ok. and i'm ok. i want a baby though :/

FlyingNy 26-11-2010 11:20 PM

*Clings to Sarah back* I love you guys. I really do. None of you can ever do anything too stupid, sometimes, I think this ward is all I have.

You will one day Nicole, but you're still pretty young. It would be better to get some qualifications and savings so you can give your child a better life, but I'm sure anyone would be lucky to have you as a mother.

nicole94 26-11-2010 11:24 PM

thanks lia. i just really want one now. i was thinking about it earlier, i mean, i look into my future, and i see me going to uni and getting a job, but i see myself already having a child, and i dont see there being time to have a baby then, it's kinda like, i see myself having a baby in the near future. idk, i just want one.

Cazki 26-11-2010 11:24 PM

*Sneaks in* Hi everyone :)

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Louise*

FlyingNy 26-11-2010 11:29 PM

What is it you want Nicole? The baby, or a son/daughter? Someone to love you as much as you love them? Someone to protect in a way you never were?

*Hugs Ian* Hey. You alright?

Louise 26-11-2010 11:33 PM


Originally Posted by Ribenalion (Post 2581288)
Edit : *hugs Louise* how you feeling?

*hugs back* I could be better. How are you?

SparkleKitten 26-11-2010 11:33 PM

*cuddles Lia* Its all I have sometimes too.

*cuddles Nicole* I have that feeling often. I know my medication makes it impossible to have a healthy pregnancy and my medication would cause issues raising a child and I know I'm not ready and some days I never want to have children but I get insane urges, every time my belly looks a little bloated I sit and think about it for hours. I'm spilling out things I never share with most people here, you all make me feel so safe.

Edit - *cuddles Louise* I'm not too bad really, also could be better though.

*cuddles Ian* Spotted your name, sorry about forgetting :( How are you?

Louise 26-11-2010 11:34 PM

*hugs Ian* how are you?

Cazki 26-11-2010 11:51 PM

Its ok Sarah. I'm ok thanks. Have been struggling a bit but im doing ok tonight.

Louise 26-11-2010 11:55 PM

Night everyone, I am going to have a lie down, really tired. *hugs everyone*

FlyingNy 27-11-2010 12:00 AM

Night night Louise *hugs*

I'm like that with the ward Sarah. I can't tell anyone anything in real life, but I can spill things here that I would never say out there. I feel safe in here, like you'll all still love me whatever I say.

misskitty112 27-11-2010 04:39 AM

*cuddles ward*
Low night. I do not cope well.. at all.
I've SIed... worse than I normally do. I'm not scared that it's worse though, but I'm also not sure if I'm fully registering what's going on around me, inside me, and all that anymore.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : I'm ashamed, it's stupid. I'm in a bad place, you guys probably don't need to read it.
I want to set myself on fire.
This makes no sense. I'm absolutely terrified of fire, and yet, this is all I can think about.

Monday cannot get here soon enough. My psych and counselor and social worker are all gonna hate me for lying about how well I've been, but what can you do?

I think I'm off to bed before I can do anything else
*leaves hugs and care packages*

xxjuliexx 27-11-2010 04:41 AM

-sits in my sleeping bag next to misskitty and hold out a teddy and blanket her-

Kee 27-11-2010 05:38 AM

hey, thought id come and introduce myself. im kee, im 22. im a student in my final year of uni. think i need to check in here and get something to help me sleep! its 05:40 here, i've had 4 hours sleep max. my parents are coming to visit in about4-5 hours time. i can barely function. need to find my happy smiley im ok mask :S how is everyone? got any fun plans for today?

Doikers 27-11-2010 10:13 AM

*Hugs Lore*

*Hugs Lia* You have emotions , or you woulden't be crying .

*Hugs Nicole* I'm so sorry to hear that :(

*Waves to Owen*

*HUUUUGS Felicia* Please please stay safe hun :S

*Hugs Kee* Hi , I'm Mark , welcome to the ward :)

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Louise*

Doikers 27-11-2010 10:55 AM

This Girl is so talented , I've been following her for a while and this is a pretty uplifting song so I thought I'd share :)

*Breaks out my Hiking boot and heads to town*

MammaMia 27-11-2010 12:14 PM

*hugs everyone tons & tons*

Nicole, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin :( It's really hard, especially if you were going to be a godparent too. I know that feels (will send a pm about it though) and I can relate so badly on wanting a baby too. I really do but I'm finally getting my life sorted & when I do have one....they'll hopefully have the best start in life :) Better one than they would have now anyway :S

Lia, I'm glad you got to have the cry you wanted. You do have emotions & you care about people so you're not an ice queen.

Felicia, please be honest with your psych etc, they can help you.

Mark, how you doing?

We've had snow here at last =D

Doikers 27-11-2010 12:25 PM

*Hugs Helen* I'm feeling okay today thanks , how are you ?

MammaMia 27-11-2010 12:26 PM

I'm okay so far :D *hugs Mark*

Doikers 27-11-2010 01:51 PM

:( *Feels low* , someone made a nasty remark , called my post asking for recommended Gothy films a Pointless post , am I being too sensitive? I don't need to be made to feel like this :( If people aren't going to be nice or helpful why do they have to make mean remarks ?

misskitty112 27-11-2010 03:20 PM

*hugs Mark* I'm sorry people are so nasty. I would try not to let it get to me.

I get to get my hair cut today... whoooo! I'll finally be able to style it again!

FlyingNy 27-11-2010 03:42 PM

*Hugs Felicia* I did a play about that once. Setting myself on fire. I played a self harmer, who set fire to herself. Please try and stay as safe as possible between now and when you see your people. Busy yourself, or move in here.

*Hugs Mark* Some people just have no lives and feel the need to make others' hard. Try to ignore them and not let it get to you.

Hey Kee, I'm Lia :)

*Hugs Helen* Glad you're feeling alright today :)

Seems like it's goodwill all round, I'm happy today :) I've just been out with my friend, I helped out with a stall at the Christmas fair and then we went for lunch at the pub where she works. It was nice and I feel Christmasy now :) We're going to start doing it each month.

I love this ward, none of you think I am what those IRL call me, I can be completely myself here and not turn myself into something I am not to keep everyone happy and avoid letting them in. You all know the real me but seem to like me anyway. I've never had that before.

misskitty112 27-11-2010 03:56 PM

Lia, I'm glad you feel Christmasy =) I've been listening to Christmas music. Oh, and I have a little pink Christmas tree for my room at uni. hehe.

I do plan on staying in here, and getting my hair done and stuff to busy myself until Monday.

FlyingNy 27-11-2010 04:01 PM

Yay :) Christmas. I love it. I just love the atmosphere more than anything else. It changes and makes the world just a better place to be in.

Doikers 27-11-2010 04:23 PM

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Felicia*

I'm cooking "Vegetable stew with Dhal" it's pretty complicated ( for me and I needed to weigh out stuff and measure stuff , Still it's going to make enough for 4-6 people I'm going to have to freeze some , but at least I accomplished/accomplishing that today , I was SO upset about that mean remark I went out and bought booze again , I've since taken a Diaz and had a bath and feel less bad but I still think I'm going to drink tonight . But then thats IT , I really mean it I can't afford to keep drinking Health wise with all my meds and financialy . I am triggered and just want to blur it all out for the evening :S

EDIT:- Oh and I'm well aware of the dangers of mixing Benzo's and Alcohol but I took the Diaz at 3pm and won't take anymore today and won't start drinking Alcohol until 5.20pm . I always start drinking Alcohol or soft drinks at 5.20pm . I'm obsessive and weird like that . (OCD)

frenchhorn 27-11-2010 04:37 PM

*hugs all* *waves hi to kee* I'm Oliver

sorry for lack of idividual replies, everyting is going on at the moment. meeting yesterday in uni and its been decided i will take the rest of the year out, which means i need to tell my parents that and the reason, which I'm more scared about doing than when I came out to them.

plus was meant to go see the crisis team today but freaked out so much I couldn't leave my room and had a panic attack, then hidin bed and slept then they got worried so they came over to my house and woke me up, now I'm hiding in my bed again cs I'm freaked out.

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