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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

taz35 11-09-2010 03:16 PM

*hugs everyone*

Too lazy to do individuals, urgh, feel bad about it. Working all day, so won't be around. Stay safe <3

one_step_closer 11-09-2010 03:34 PM

I don't know what to do any more. I don't want to be alive and i'm sick of holding on for my brother. He's making a life for himself at college and I don't want to mess things up for him. All people care about is keeping me alive, they don't care that by doing that they are making me suffer.

Doikers 11-09-2010 03:52 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* Things will get better , you have to beleive that , one day you will be happy to wake up in the morning and the ward is always here for you , it's why it's here , to help people, we care about you and I am sorry you feel so dreadful :( *Hugs again*

one_step_closer 11-09-2010 04:09 PM

Thanks Mark.

How are you doing now?

Doikers 11-09-2010 04:24 PM

I'm still wanting to cut:( But I'must not here at my parents , ( Monday can't come fast enough )My parents are not even here until tomorrow evening so I could , My concentration is still broken I'm watching / listening to music vids on youtube sporadically , I dozed for a bit which I hope won't affect my sleep tonight....... I'm going to my sisters for dinner , she will ring when they are leaving Cardiff which will take them an hour to get here from , I bought a nice pomegranite and elderflower drink instead of the traditional wine as I can't drink , my sister doesen't really like to drink much at all and my brother in law is a muslim and they don't drink .I just hope they like it .

MammaMia 11-09-2010 04:46 PM

They will like the flavoured water I'm sure, espically if it's fizzy. I love fizzy flavoured water.

*cuddles ward*

Turns out I haven't been rejected for the job, that my interview was for last Friday :) I got a phone call today asking me to come in to fill in a extended health questionnaire and explained that it was on hold until I could fill in a vacancy, or something =] So might be offered one next week, just got to hope & wait :)

Mum took me to the chemist on the way home about my oh so wonderful skin & he thinks I should go to the doctors. My best friend will be pleased as she's told me a couple times recently :P

I'm rambling...oh & I brought my first Christmas present today. Should I be worried? :P

Doikers 11-09-2010 05:01 PM

I think its fizzy Helen :) Thanks for the reasurrance. Thats Good news about the job , GO YOU! and good luck with the medical questionare. Hehe I beat you to it I bought my first Christmas presant weeks ago , we probably shoulden't be worried , we are just organized :)

shadowedsoul 11-09-2010 05:28 PM

Cuddles all
Mark. Yeah I'm okay,well I'm now. Had the day from hell.erm had a slight accident this morning. So that wasn't great. Then stuiped stuff happening at work.

CrazyHayley 11-09-2010 06:01 PM

*pokes her head into common room so that people know she's around and thinking of them* - but can't stay as Eoghan is here, my brave face is on, doing this whilst he making a cup of tea! Got to go! *sneaks back out*

Doikers 11-09-2010 06:08 PM

*Hugs Jill* I'm glad you're okay now :)

*Hugs Hayley* HEY:) Enjoy your time with Eoghan as much as you can if you can .

MammaMia 11-09-2010 07:05 PM


Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2484840)
I think its fizzy Helen :) Thanks for the reasurrance. Thats Good news about the job , GO YOU! and good luck with the medical questionare. Hehe I beat you to it I bought my first Christmas presant weeks ago , we probably shoulden't be worried , we are just organized :)

You're very welcome for the reassurance. Thanks for questionnaire, did it there and then :) I'm sure someone beat both of us in getting a first Christmas present for this year :P We are organised!!


Originally Posted by CrazyHayley (Post 2484888)
*pokes her head into common room so that people know she's around and thinking of them* - but can't stay as Eoghan is here, my brave face is on, doing this whilst he making a cup of tea! Got to go! *sneaks back out*


RYUU 11-09-2010 07:16 PM

* hugs everyone *
Am changing my name to RYUU ( Japanese name meaning Dragon ) just so you know that its me

Feeling like i need to cut been thinking about maybe restricting again and not wanting to eat

misskitty112 11-09-2010 08:11 PM

gah. harmed this morning.
Also, I love how I spend so much of my time trying to convince other people not to go the suicide route... and I can't even get the thoughts out of my own head.

one_step_closer 11-09-2010 08:15 PM

Mark, please try not to cut. I know that you can do this and could continue not to cut once you are away from your parents. You have the strength to beat the urges.

Jill, i'm here if you want to talk.

*waves to Hayley*

Helen, I can't believe that you and Mark have started Christmas shopping, I don't even want to think about it!

Reaper, please take care of yourself.

It's coming to that time of night where I realise how alone I am. I tried to sleep last night when I felt bad but I couldn't sleep. I just want to overdose. I can't live with mental illness any more. I'm not strong enough.

one_step_closer 11-09-2010 08:16 PM

Felicia, i'm sorry that you harmed. Are you taking care of yourself and your wounds? It's hard when you're suicidal, do you want to talk about it?

misskitty112 11-09-2010 08:21 PM

I've made a list of who all I need to buy for this Christmas. I acquired a stepdad and 4 stepsiblings this summer, and I'm so afraid I'll forget them or not be able to afford presents for them.

Lindsay, I'm sorry things are so hard for you *hugs*

I'm... trying to care for myself, but I'm not doing a good job. I just... don't care. It's a shitty way to treat myself, I know. But I just can't force myself to care right now.

risenfromperdition 11-09-2010 08:40 PM

im 3 pages behind [rents at a party haha]
but... RENT

RYUU 11-09-2010 08:45 PM

Ended up cutting i feel so low

one_step_closer 11-09-2010 08:57 PM

Felicia, I know that feeling. Just do what you can. *hugs*

Reaper, i'm sorry that you cut and are feeling low. Is there anything you want to talk about?

I don't know if I should phone the crisis team or not. I don't want to end up overdosing tonight but at the same time I do.

misskitty112 11-09-2010 09:06 PM

*hugs Reaper* I'm just a PM away if you need to talk.
*Hugs Lindsay* I think you should phone the crisis team.

I feel stranded. I suppose I'll try to live through the day.

RYUU 11-09-2010 09:14 PM

Today has just been a day of emotions i was happy this morning even looked up Japanese pop music and having a laugh with my husband then we started to talk about going away for the week and food there and my mood changed
we are going for a wedding and i know am going to be the fattiest person there it will be embarrassing for my husband having me there
now am just focusing on the food that i have been eating and the calories that is in them

Doikers 11-09-2010 09:14 PM

*Hugs Felicia* I'm sorry you are so very low , please look after your cuts and yourself . I'm here if you need to talk .

*Hugs Lindsay* Living with a mental illness is so tough but it has peaks and troughs and it sounds to me that you are in a trough but you WILL bounce out of it . I feel like a bit of a hypocrite but life is worth it in the end :)

*Hugs Reaper/Ryuu* I'm sorry you cut , please take good care of it .

shadowedsoul 11-09-2010 09:28 PM

Cuddles all, thanks Lindsay just wish I could get the words to explain how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling like this. Damn it I'm really triggered and I hurt so much right now, just want to find a way to get completely out of it and feel numb right now. Had enough of this. Sorry

Doikers 11-09-2010 09:57 PM

*Spots and squishes April* How are you this afternoon?

Right off to bed with me ,I'm not tired but I'm a bit triggered and "Asleep is the safest place you can be"

MammaMia 11-09-2010 11:09 PM

I feel sick AGAIN :'( Arrrgh!

MammaMia 12-09-2010 01:09 AM

*hides and sobs her heart out*
Sorry to double post.

SoMuchMore 12-09-2010 04:57 AM

*cuddles helen tight* i'm sorry that you are feeling sick again. Don't be sorry about the double post, its been a very quiet evening in here. you alright hun?

*hugs mark* yes there was another american football game today. we are looking pretty good this season. Hope you are sleeping well, sorry to hear that you were triggered today.

*hugs reaper* please take care of your wound. I'm sorry that you cut.

*hugs felicia* i'm sorry that you are feeling stranded, but yes sometimes all you can do is resolve to make it through the day. I hope that you are alright. Sorry that you harmed this morning, please try to take good care of it.

*hugs jill* im sorry things arent going well for you right now. we are here to listen if you ever feel like talking.

*hugs lindsay* I hope that you did not OD hun. You ARE strong enough to make it through this though. I really believe that.

*hugs heather* I'm sorry that you have so limited time online right now. I hope you are doing okay hun.

*hugs hayley* good to see you around! Hope the rest of your day went okay. Sorry that you feel you have to keep a brave face on with Eoghan

*cuddles everyone else* sorry if i missed you. I tried to get everyone on the last two pages.

Whew I am exhausted. Had a pretty decent day today, yet I still got triggered on and off for no reason... how stupid is that? damn. O well I suppose. I'm about to head out again. i'll catch up more tomorrow!

risenfromperdition 12-09-2010 06:03 AM

never fun to be triggered for no reason =[

ergh am huge... scale says so and clothes all yucky and =[

Doikers 12-09-2010 09:29 AM

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura*I Hate it when I'm triggered for no apparent reason too , so frustrating:S

*Hugs Helen* I'm sorry you feel ill:(

Doikers 12-09-2010 09:54 AM

*Spots Julie and Hugs* How are you today Julie?

MammaMia 12-09-2010 12:02 PM

I feel so low and hurting. I don't know how to cope over next 3 weeks or so. I'm so so so so worried about one best friend. She's back in hospital and still struggling mentally. I'm trying to help, but I'm struggling to do that. My other best friend isn't going to be round much until I go see her. I would normally turn to her about everything & now I can't. I don't know what to do :'( I just want to harm, run until I can't run and just die :'(

Doikers 12-09-2010 12:27 PM

*HUGS Helen*

MammaMia 12-09-2010 12:36 PM

*hugs Mark* Thank you hun x

one_step_closer 12-09-2010 12:57 PM

*hugs everyone*

MammaMia 12-09-2010 12:58 PM

*hugs Lindsay* How you doing?

one_step_closer 12-09-2010 02:55 PM

I don't really know. Wanting to cut and overdose and just get out of life for a while.

How are you, Helen?

RYUU 12-09-2010 03:22 PM

* hugs everyone *

Voices are loud telling me to kill myself

Doikers 12-09-2010 03:52 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* I SO know the feeling of wanting to be out of it but ODing is SO very dangerous as S.I. can be too . Please be safe Lindsay ..

*Hugs Ryuu* Don't listen to those voices , their opinions are worth less than nothing you are stronger than them . Could you do something to distract yourself perhaps?, go for a long walk somewhere safe or listen to music really loud. You certanly don't deserve to die .

*Hugs Helen*

SparkleKitten 12-09-2010 04:45 PM

*hugs everyone*

Just got in after my Saturday out, there was a huge row with mum in the morning and in a blind fit of rage I attacked the kitchen units, bruised my arm and hands up. Don't remember doing it so I must have been really angry.

My time out however was the exact opposite of my time in. Lovely and calm, read a book, made a cat out of clay, just general nice things. Bought some sweets today.

Got a meds question, might go see a pharmacist tomorrow, doctor told me to double my dose, so take 2 tablets instead of 1, but I don't know if she meant at once or spaced out like leaflet says for other problems, and I was too bewildered and overwhelmed to ask at the time. *sigh*

Edit - after a glance on Google it turns out that they're made in double strength tablets (so the equivalent of 2 of mine) in other countries but not in the UK. Oh what would I do without the internet :p

MammaMia 12-09-2010 04:53 PM

Can I die now?

SparkleKitten 12-09-2010 04:56 PM

*cuddles Helen* No, stay here with us hun, you're amazing x

FlyingNy 12-09-2010 04:59 PM

Sarah's right. No Helen, you can't. *Hugs*

Sorry for lack of other individuals, I just thought I'd come along and tell you all I'm still alive.

SparkleKitten 12-09-2010 05:02 PM

Nice to see you again Lia, hope you're feeling okay *hugs*

one_step_closer 12-09-2010 05:02 PM

Mark, how are you now?

RYUU, stay safe.

Sarah, that sounds confusing!

Helen, what's happening?

Lia, how are you?

MammaMia 12-09-2010 05:11 PM


Originally Posted by Ribenalion (Post 2485972)
*cuddles Helen* No, stay here with us hun, you're amazing x

I'm not amazing. I'm really really not. *cuddles Sarah*


Originally Posted by IceQueenHasAHeart (Post 2485978)
Sarah's right. No Helen, you can't. *Hugs*

Sorry for lack of other individuals, I just thought I'd come along and tell you all I'm still alive.

*hugs Lia* Good to see you, was thinking about you earlier because yu hadn't been in....


Originally Posted by one_step_closer (Post 2485981)
Helen, what's happening?

I wish I could tell you. I just need to go die. That'll fix it all.

Doikers 12-09-2010 05:12 PM

*Hugs Sarah* I'd be confused about a meds change too:S

*Hugs Helen* No Helen you can't just die , we would miss you terribly *Squishes*

*Hugs Lia* How have you been ?:)

*Hugs Lindsay* I have gone 3 and a half days S.I. free :S my parents are back so I can't really cut although I really want to , still 3 and a half days is going some for me . soon to be 4 days probably :S

FlyingNy 12-09-2010 05:13 PM

Dying will never fix anything Helen, it'll take away pain, but it will take away all the joy and good times as well.

And me? I've been...well up and down.

MammaMia 12-09-2010 05:17 PM

Mark, you'd get over me. Everyone does. Everyone else who's walked out all hate me now. Well nearly everyone. *hugs*

Lia, it will fix it. Yeah it'll take away good times, but haven't had many of those in last few years. Without someone, I'd rather not breathe.

FlyingNy 12-09-2010 05:43 PM

I know how that feels Helen. I feel the same thing with every breath. But we can both do it. Losing someone is meant to stop hurting so much after a while. And we wouldn't get over you. I'd never forget.

MammaMia 12-09-2010 05:46 PM

I know you do and I wish you didn't :( I haven't exactly lost them yet, but I'm scared I will. I just need to know something and I need to know it now. Doubt that decision will be made today. In the meanwhile, I'm just sat here sobbing and sobbing. Wanting to harm and to die. I really know how to **** it all up don't I?

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