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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

I'mJustMe 13-07-2010 03:36 PM

Nicole-Hmm...really? As we're 16, if we didn't want to be at home, we could get support from the council? I could run away? Yes, I take it that does mean you would get support. Or you could go to a refuge or something. Is there any reletives you could stay with? I asked that on the other post but haven't been back there yet. I'll look now in case you've replied.

Hey Mark- You alright?


nicole94 13-07-2010 03:42 PM

i think so, if were 16 and we run away, if we go to the council they will pass us on to social services, and if we refuse that then they have to help us! i feel like ive seen the light! and noi havent :( stupid family.

nicole94 13-07-2010 03:52 PM

i feel ****ing AMAZING! i have just spoken to childline about my plans on running away and i have their support completley! they said that im 16 and if i feel its best to leave home then they will support me! :D im happy!

MammaMia 13-07-2010 03:55 PM

How they going to support you? :D

nicole94 13-07-2010 03:58 PM

im not sure yet, theres still a lot to work out, but ive made a start! i feel so good! :D

shadowedsoul 13-07-2010 04:24 PM

Hey taz35, yeah it's jill hmm how iam, hmm pass. How are you today?

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 04:57 PM

*hides in a corner & cries*

Doikers 13-07-2010 05:18 PM

*Hugs April* I'm sorry I had to dash on you on Facebook earlier , I wasn't expecting company , sorry :S

PoisonedApple 13-07-2010 05:40 PM


To everybody who asked - Things are going... not well, but not horrible. They're bearable for the moment. My counselor has phoned my parents in for our appointment on Wednesday, and I'm definitely anxious about that. The only other time he had one of them there was after my suicide attempt...

*hugs Crimson* Congrats on the essays! :) I always have to fight with myself to get any done. Crystal Light really does rock. I'm partial to pink lemonade though :P

*hugs Lia* I'd notice. At least now that I'm aware of your presence (if we haven't previously met, hi :) I'm Taz). I can get the sense of how you're feeling, especially about the wanting to run away and escape life. If only it were really that easy...

*hugs Oliver* I love getting into conversations in public that only serve to confuse people. And besides, people shouldn't be eavesdropping in the first place. Nor should it affect them in the slightest.
*hugs* hope the appointment isn't too awkward. If I may ask why are your parents going to be in this time?

Thank you. and yes, yes it does rock.

Lia~ we here would notice and miss you. All of us would.

Speaking of public eavesdropping... why is it when I look away from people speaking in sign language (my ASL is a bit rusty but I pick bits and pieces up none the less so I feel like if I look at them while they're talking I'm eavesdropping) people look at me like I'm doing something wrong?


Morning ward mates,
I'm sorry for the lack of individual replies it's just I'm feeling numb, numb and Low ( note the capital L ) , you would think they would cancel each other out but not today it seems.

I Hate being lonely too guys, and I'm so sick of it , I don't have many friends IRL , ( Only 1 that I see regulary ) , we met about a year ago , in hospital , Man was that a whole year ago !!!?

*Group hugs*
the numb and low don't cancel each other out for me just make me apathetic...
And I'm in the same boat friend wise...one person IRL that isn't my family... that's ok though I find better friends here :D


I'm... I don't know. The reality of Jarrod potentially getting in the army and me having to "survive" up to year-long deployments, and the changes that will take place between him being there & him being gone... that really hit me hard last night. I still want him to go for it... but I am scared. I guess that's typical, but I don't know. :-S I don't have anyone to compare to.
Another thing you may want to look into is the spousal support groups... They get together and support and distract each other while their spouses are deployed. And plan the welcome home parties :)


and es ist sehr gut
learning German or are German? Sorry you don't have to answer just curious...

*huggles to all and plushies and care packs left on the table with cookies*

PoisonedApple 13-07-2010 05:46 PM

taz- ignore my ? on the appointment... I posted at the bottom of one page and you had answered at the next page... :)

PoisonedApple 13-07-2010 05:46 PM

*cuddles april* You doing okay (dumb question I know....)?

SoMuchMore 13-07-2010 05:49 PM

*hugs nicole* i'm glad that you called childline and that they were helpful.

*hugs lia* how r you feeling today?

*hugs april* I think it is definitely normal to feel apprehensive/worried about jarrod in the army. How else are you hun? Don't hide in the corner and cry, you can talk to us you know.

*hugs taz* try not to lie.. i know it can be hard especially when trying to make your parents think you are okay. I've thought about the whole, "teenage problems" before thing too. I even wrote this whole poem out once that was called "i'm getting to old for this." So you are definitely not alone in your struggles with that.

*hugs amy* hope that you managed to not scratch those spider bites. They can be so itchy i know, but it really just makes them worse to scratch

*hugs jill* how r u doing?

*hugs helen* i'm sorry that you've been thinking so much about suicide, that can really bring down your day :-/ Hope you are okay right now hun.

*hugs mark* sorry that you are still feeling so low. I wish there was something i could say to help counteract those feelings. Was your walk helpful this morning?

*hugs heather* hope you managed to get some sleep.

I spy crimson! *hugs* How r u today?

I'm really lacking motivation to do anymore of my online class. I took a few days off while I was at home and now I just want to quit it, especially since its not actually required for anything other than my own benefit. O well, i'm sure once i actually get myself to work on it it'll be okay again.

Other than that, feeling a little strange. Don't really know how to explain, but its like I think something is going to happen. Probably just another shift in MH issues. That's what it usually means when i feel like this. So pretty much just moving in the normal invisible circles that I always do. I'm very much so over all of this. And starting to get angry so i'll shut up now.

MammaMia 13-07-2010 06:03 PM


Originally Posted by Fallinstar0317 (Post 2399923)
*hugs helen* i'm sorry that you've been thinking so much about suicide, that can really bring down your day :-/ Hope you are okay right now hun.

*hugs Laura* It can bleh. I'm not okay but hey. Sorry you're not doing so well. Hope you can find the motivation again soon *cuddles tight*

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 06:23 PM

I am not doing well. I don't know how to explain it. Just numb/low/apathetic, like Crimson & Mark. I don't know.

I just cried some more. I feel awful. I can't get away from the feelings either, and my bestie is coming in 40 minutes... and I really am going to try & hold it together for her but I'm scared that I'm going to start crying whilst she's here.

It's okay that you had to go, Mark, no worries. I love chatting with you though. :) How was the visit with your dad? and how are you doing now?? *hugs*

I'm sorry no other individual replies, am not ignoring any of you, I promise, just am feeling like utter ****. :'(

shadowedsoul 13-07-2010 06:34 PM

Hugs April tight. Hmm I'm doing I have got no idea.=( meh.

Doikers 13-07-2010 06:45 PM

Thing just "are" April , A couple of people asked if I enjoyed my walk, it wasn't VERY long , I should have enjoyed it , but I'm just numb , I feel empty , I know cutting would help short term , I am drawn to doing it , as ever *Sigh* sorry I'm not being a very good wardmate lateley. I'm just going to have a bath , that might help me feel more cared for ( Not the right words )

SoMuchMore 13-07-2010 06:56 PM


My r/v thread if you are interested. Its pretty long. But it gives some history of me. If it doesn't make sense I'm sorry.

misskitty112 13-07-2010 06:58 PM

I'm just going to come in here and sit until life feels better. Is that okay?

Doikers 13-07-2010 07:06 PM

Thats okay MissKitty , I'm Mark , how are you?

Doikers 13-07-2010 07:20 PM

*Hugs* Laura , I Read page 3 of your R/V thread , you are very good with words , I wish I could write / speak like you do , I get so stuck with words. But this isn't about me , it's about you , I know the feeling , walking down the street , every bus , every tree branch an oppurtunity :(
*Extra Huggles*

And I got your Some history of you , it's nice of you to share , thankyou :)

misskitty112 13-07-2010 07:26 PM


Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2400103)
Thats okay MissKitty , I'm Mark , how are you?

I'm Felicia.

I'm alright just going through a rough time with problems with my uni and trying not to SI... and wanting to be completely perfect for the play I'm in, and trying to keep the ED at bay so my cast members don't see when we all go out.

and I'm tired. and want life to feel better.

SoMuchMore 13-07-2010 07:46 PM

*hugs helen* I'm sorry to hear that you are not okay. Feel free to PM me if you want to.

*hugs mark* thanks for reading it. I'm sorry that you can understand all too well what i was saying. Also, getting stuck with words happens to me a lot too even though i love to write. A lot of the time when i'm asked to write about myself things all go to hell. I'm kinda suprised i was able to write that at all. Feel kinda vulnerable with it up though, so i don't know if i'll leave it or not.

*hugs april* I'm sorry that you are feeling so badly hun. Hope that seeing your bestie helps some.

*hugs felicia* (if thats okay.. if you don't want to be hugged *waves*) Hi! I'm Laura. Sorry that you are having such a hard time at uni right now. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

*hugs jill*

PoisonedApple 13-07-2010 08:01 PM

Laura~ I read your r/v... Sorry I have no words right now but I wanted you to know that I did read it. *huggles*

MammaMia 13-07-2010 08:41 PM

*cuddles all*

*hugs felicia* (if thats okay.. if you don't want to be hugged *waves*) Hi sweetie. I'm Helen. Really sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time right now. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help?

Doikers 13-07-2010 08:52 PM

*Cuddles Helen* Are you feeling any better now? I hope so .

I'm just sat at my P.C. Staring at peoples animated Sigs / Staring into space . I cut , although not at all seriously , I'm not at all happy how it looks , I want it to be worse how crazy does that make me sound?! I'm Numb still . *Sigh* sorry I'm such a useless ward-mate latley.

EDIT:- Hey Heather I Spot you :) *Hug*

risenfromperdition 13-07-2010 09:24 PM

that doesnt make you sound crazy at all mark [unfortunately i know exactly how that feels ><]

im... i dunno. full and feel like every item of clothing i own looks horrid on me and wanna go for a walk but its still pouring and just UGH. is it winter so can hide in sweatshirts please? >.>

risenfromperdition 13-07-2010 09:25 PM

*snuggles laura*

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 09:29 PM

Welcome to the ward, Felicia. :) I'm April. *offers hugs* I'm sorry that you're struggling with SI/ED stuff... sounds a lot like me!! :-S

Laura, I'll try & read your r/v in a bit. *huggles*

Hels, how are you? *cuddles*

Crimson, how are you doing? *cuddles & offers some wild strawberry Crystal Light ;)*

Mark *curls up next to* I'm sorry that you cut... I wish there were something that I could do to help. :( I understand "just being" ... it sucks not really having any feelings (well, meaning that in the "are you feeling blah blah blah?" sense, not the feelings as in "have I hurt your feelings?"... if that makes any sense at all!!). Sorry, I'm just rambling now... :( *cuddles*

I spy Heather!! *huggles* How are you, sweetie?

*huggles/cuddles all that I missed*

I'm not feeling much better, although a bit, as it's settled now - once Jarrod ships out for basic training, I'll be moving back in with my parents. A little scary but I think it'll be healthier for me overall. I think. It will at least make sure that I eat/drink and don't just sit around "moping" (or "being a lump" as my dad said) all the time. I'm scared about that though... :-S Prayers/good thoughts would really be appreciated about that. About everything that's going on in my life lately, actually. :-/

The time with my bestie was "meh" at best... :-S I don't know... it was tough to talk because I was so anxious. It really sucked. *sigh* I felt really bad for effectively wasting her time. :(

I think I'll update my r/v sometime soonish... like tonight sometime... it's been a bit. :-X

*extra cuddles to those who need them*

Doikers 13-07-2010 09:33 PM

At least I know I'm not alone in it Heather although I'm sorry you know the feeling too:(
Time for bed, I'm not so tired but I just hope I'll get some sleep soon and wake up feeling less low and numb .

I spots me an April! EDIT:- You make sense ,yes :)

*Night-time Huggle to the whole ward*

risenfromperdition 13-07-2010 09:43 PM

night mark <3

MammaMia 13-07-2010 09:46 PM

I'm still low ha.

Night night Mark xx
Sorry you're not feeling much better April *snuggles*

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 09:46 PM

G'night Mark, sleep well. :) *tucks you up into your ward bed* I'm glad I made sense!!

*hides in her hole*

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 09:47 PM

*snuggles Hels back* How're you doing, love?

And I spy a Hels, a Taz, and a Mark-that's-not-yet-gone-to-bed!! :)

taz35 13-07-2010 09:52 PM

*hugs Lia* Not close to my real name as you can tell :) But I was really hyper as a kid, so plenty of people called me the Tasmanian devil. And I just shortened that to Taz. I think it's catchy at least :) PS, I love the quote in your signature. It really speaks to me.

*hugs Nicole* Sounds like a super confusing situation to be in. At least you can relax slightly knowing you have their full support :)

*hugs Jill* It's never a good thing when you have to pass a question on how you're feeling. If you need to vent or anything, my pm box is always open <3 I do hope you're staying safe.

*hugs Laura* I know the feeling with the classes. I'm taking chemistry over the summer (only 2 more weeks! YAY!), but it's super hard to get any motivation. *whips up super motivational cookies and hands out*

*hugs Hels* How has your day been?

*cuddles April* Sounds like things are really rough :( Try to keep battling through it though hun. You're in my pile of happy thoughts :) And I'm sending intra-internet good vibes to you at this very moment!!

*hugs Mark & tucks in for bed* Sorry to hear that you cut yourself. Try not to beat yourself up over it though. And you don't sound crazy at all :) I get that thought too every now and then. Hope you sleep well <3

*hugs Heather* That's the best part about winter :) Big comfy sweaters you can wear and nobody can question you. You're beautiful though - you don't need to hide in clothes :)

*tentatively offers hugs to Felicia* Hi, I'm Taz. Feel free to grab a pillow and join in the Vets pow wow :) And be prepared for any pillow fights.

I think I got everyone... I'm still readjusting to the speed that this thread can take off :P If I missed anyone... *extra special hugs for those accidentally missed*

It's my second day off my meds. I don't know why they put me on meds to begin with. I feel so much better without them :D Or maybe it's a temporary high. Who cares... *wanders off to explode with happiness in her r/v* (just so that nobody needs to read my rambling :) )

risenfromperdition 13-07-2010 09:55 PM

hmm i wish i could believe you :/
feel so ugly :s

MammaMia 13-07-2010 10:10 PM

Been a 'stable' day? Even though I've felt low?? Having a panic attack atm :(

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 10:42 PM

*cuddles Hels & Heather* Sorry, am not much good at the mo for anything else. :( Wish I could help you both more though... :(

I think I'm gonna go update my r/v... :-/

PoisonedApple 13-07-2010 10:47 PM

*cuddles Helen till she's feeling better*


*tentatively offers hugs to Felicia* Hi, I'm Taz. Feel free to grab a pillow and join in the Vets pow wow :) And be prepared for any pillow fights.
Pillow fights? Why would you say such a thing? It's always so calm in here... *smacks Taz with a feather pillow* :P LOL

*waves at Felicia* I'm Crimson. Welcome. :)

Good night Mark, hope you sleep well.

Heather you are not ugly, whether or not you think or feel you are. You are beautiful and we will tell you that as many times as we need to. Resistance is futile :D (had to add that line in lol yes I am a bit of a geek) *huggles*

*deep breath* Ok I typed up my last essay. Just a review of the essays (decided to take you up on the offer April) and submitting them ,one ethics project to be typed up and a proctored exam. If I could take it in front of just anyone non family I'm be able to do that one easy but they want me to find someone non family with a degree to stare at me as I take a final exam. I can't think of anyone but one of the lawyers I work with but that'd be awkward to ask of them I think... We'll see if I can think of anyone. But either way I'm almost done with this crap. GO ME! (in theory celebrating your go me moments makes you feel better... thought i'd explain this now so you guys know why i keep saying that if it pops up every now and again...)
*hugs and plushies for all*
*runs off to get some work done*

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 11:00 PM

Updated r/v... it's kinda long... :-S

MammaMia 13-07-2010 11:04 PM

I'll look soon.

I spy a Kahlia & April

Kahlia1981 13-07-2010 11:08 PM

*hugs/waves at all*

Sorry for the lack of individual replies - 4 pages of posts since I was last in here and I just can't keep things straight.

Really not feeling well. I emailed my psychiatrist last night, and also told him about my SI and su urges because my housemate asked me to. I think my housemate is getting concerned 'cause I'm spending quite a bit of time curled up in the foetal position on my bed, and am trying to do a lot of stuff (like organise my meds) in the dark. He keeps flipping on the lights, and I walk over and flip them off, then he walks in and flips them on . . . until he decides that he's just going to stand there. *shrug*

I guess we'll see what the doctor says.

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 11:20 PM

*cuddles Hels & Kahlia* Sorry you're not doing so well, Kahlia... seems like - per usual, sadly - that a lot of us are struggling. :( Wish I could help somehow... I hope that your pdoc helps in some manner. *extra special cuddles*

*hides in the warren*

PoisonedApple 13-07-2010 11:45 PM

*cuddles april* read your r/v.
hope sunday goes ok.

Scarletdreamer 13-07-2010 11:47 PM

So do I... :-S

Can't focus on WoW, can't focus on reading, can't focus on journaling...


MammaMia 14-07-2010 12:04 AM

*cuddles everyone lots*


frenchhorn 14-07-2010 01:23 AM

Hi all
*cuddles to you all* sorry no indiviual replies, been loads of pages and I'm very drowsy from the hayfever meds I'm dosed high up on, which really don't work, its been such a hard day hayfever wise.

wow its been a good day, my gf is now my bf, they have come out as ftm trans, like me, but not as far along the male spectrum as me, anyway won't get into it not the right place, but yeah very very proud of him and excited and happy for him, I remember the feeling 7 months ago, but its going to be a stressful time for both of us.

I feel like utter **** from hayfever, it really messes with me and feel low mentally wise, mainly trangst I guess

EDIT: I see new people, *waves hi to them* to you like hugs?I believe its Felicia, I'm Oliver, nice to meet you.

taz35 14-07-2010 02:24 AM

*hugs Heather* In that case I'll just keep repeating it in hopes that you'll finally see the truth in it :) You're beautiful and shouldn't change a thing <3

*sneaks up behind Crimson, drops a pillow on her head, and runs off to hide* I don't start the pillow fights, I just spectate :D GO YOU! FINISH THAT ESSAY! Hahaa. I'll be the cheerleader of Vets corner :)

*hugs April and gives her special teddy* I'll go read your r/v in a minute. I hope you're doing okay <3333

*hugs Hels and offers an ear for any venting*

*hugs Kahlia* Sounds like it's more frustrating for you than your roommate to be honest. I'm glad you told your psych about your urges. It's always better to let them know rather than hide it...

*hugs Oliver* Sounds super confusing to me, but as long as you're both happy, that's the most important part :D <3

taz35 14-07-2010 02:27 AM

Side note April: Crying IS a much better option than cutting. And you're right, everybody cries. It's a good release of emotion. There's nothing wrong with doing that. Strength be with you on Sunday <333

misskitty112 14-07-2010 04:07 AM

Thanks for everyone who welcomed me!

Rehearsal went good today, but I had many epic ED fails.

wolfos3d 14-07-2010 04:08 AM

I ended up cutting. :/ I made it three weeks. I made that doctors app that I've been putting off too. I figure I either go of my own accord or I'll end up being forced to see someone once I end up in emergency. My appointment is for 3PM Friday.

Sorry for no responses to anyone. I gotta run out the door. *cuddles to everyone*

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