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battlekitten 29-10-2007 03:06 PM

*Stops by with hot chocolate, blankets and hugs for everyone, especially, dancedance, sasuke, new life and emily*

MammaMia 29-10-2007 08:44 PM

Thanks :]

I'm upset, I think my friend seems to not like me, I didn't even get a ****ing invite to her part again (and this time it's her b'day)

Jetforce 30-10-2007 08:54 AM

**hugs everybody**

How r u all? I could be better really atm...ugh

MammaMia 30-10-2007 12:31 PM

I'm sore. Missing my first lesson, but to go in my last one (it's also my second). Will explain later.

x

Sugar and Spice 30-10-2007 02:58 PM

Haven't been here for a while.
Hope you are all taking care *offers hugs and hot drinks around* x

Synthetisk 30-10-2007 04:25 PM

Thank you battlekitten and Tortured_Beauty :3
I hope everyones been taking care of themselves and is doing okay *hugs all round*

The guy whose relationship I nearly ruined... I can't see him anymore. I want him to be happy and I suppose it's all for the best. I don't want to hurt his girlfriend even more than I already have.

MammaMia 30-10-2007 11:10 PM

I'm not really looking after myself?

/runs off

TheSuffererComplex 31-10-2007 12:57 AM

*hugs Sasuke and dancedance*

I'm doing bad, i dunno now i've been going for 2 weeks. I don't feel strong at all.

Synthetisk 31-10-2007 09:42 AM

*hugs DanceDance and TheSuffererComplex*

DanceDance, you're always free to PM me if you feel like chatting to someone :)
TheSuffererComplex, two weeks is a long time! Even trying makes you a strong person, and two weeks is awesome <3

Urgh... I can't take college. I spend most of my days thinking about them and being scared about how much of a failure I am to my family. vbmenu_register("postmenu_348745", true);

MammaMia 31-10-2007 05:17 PM

College can both rock & suck :[

I'm upset hehe :\

Synthetisk 31-10-2007 06:37 PM

Urgh, college is just.... >___<
*hugs DanceDance*
What's wrong? :(


I can't stand how my mother bitches to me about everyone. It's making me physically sick because I hate hearing bad things about people.
And my brothers an ignorant, racist, homophobic moron who my parents adore. Which is why they think I've been beating him up; a 6ft tall rugby-built boy against a 5ft 5 weakling?
*curls up in corner under a blanket*

l.e.g.o 31-10-2007 08:42 PM

have a knife need to use it so what im on five weeks noone cares

MammaMia 31-10-2007 08:49 PM

*hugs you back*

Just stuipd stuff really. Missing my dad & nephew :( My dad probs won't come home. 5 weeks tomorrow since he went. Things getting to me...

MammaMia 31-10-2007 08:50 PM

Newlife, well done & we do care :D

l.e.g.o 31-10-2007 09:07 PM

but i cant do it any longer and noone to turn to who can stop me im just useless and using it would be so much better

Jetforce 01-11-2007 04:29 PM

**hugs Jo**

Ur not useless!!! ur special hon xx

l.e.g.o 01-11-2007 04:46 PM

sorry *cries*

~*forever_broken*~ 01-11-2007 05:02 PM

*hands over knife and meds...both prescription and OTC...wanders to corner, curls up and goes to sleep*
I just want to die...

MammaMia 01-11-2007 05:23 PM

Today's been a bit up & down but overall pretty good I'm not upset over my friend anymore as she explained why I wasn't invited to her party and it was toughtful- the reason why.

Then I'm on the bus home...and who do I see? BECK! YES BECKY! Who walked past me and didn't look. Then she still didn't see me as she sat down as she was facing her friend. Thennnnnnn she looked over and I turned the other way round. Now I'm confused about how to feel about my sister. I think I wanna make up with her just to see my nephew..but she's hurt me without realising. I'm still so angry though and I thought I'd started moving on. But my nephew is stuck in the middle and I can't walk out of his life He doesn't deserve this!! I got it into my head just walkin home after the bus thinking I have to make up with her, but I dont wanna upset my mum & sis and I'm still so hurt by what she did.

Am SO confused what to do?

Also I've got so much psychical pain too Blurrrrgh and still can't get an appointment. My left ear isn't hearing very well- so might have to get that sorted. Plus I keep getting a sore throat and I feel sick.

l.e.g.o 01-11-2007 06:22 PM

need to cut got knife-need to so much
xxx

MammaMia 01-11-2007 10:22 PM

Well I'm still bit annoyed about my sister obviously but least I've been talking about it to my parens seperatly. Then I had a lovely meal with my dad even though he's off on holiday all alone from sunday, hope he'll be ok Thn I come home, and either parent spoke to each other and I was like are neither of you going to say something to the other one? Then a few mins later, my dad said summat, and then my mum starts off a huge massive row with him, so I was upset and annoyed at her, for started it and biting my head off. Then I came online to find all this accusations at me butthat I can cope with. I was in small tears I really was. Then when I went to say goodbye with my mum, they're laughing. ARGH, keep getting feels of running. Even though I know that won't solve anything....

Feel pretty upset now. Not mad at my mum now I suposse.

But on a goooood note, have raises Ģ77.21 so far for my sponsered silence, I'll never do it apprantly!!!

TheSuffererComplex 02-11-2007 12:36 AM

so much for my "strength" Bah, last night sucked... HARD.

~*forever_broken*~ 02-11-2007 01:47 AM

Oh uck...feel awful...hopeing my counselor won't decide hospital is a good idea seeing as hoe I've been kind of suicidal lately...
F**k...
Just wish I could die...

MammaMia 02-11-2007 01:52 AM

Thanks for ignoring me :]

~*forever_broken*~ 02-11-2007 03:07 AM

Aww DanceDance...*hugs you* I wouldn't intentionally ignore you, promise... Just in my own little world of missary. I am sorry you are having such a time of it. Sounds like a tough deal with your sister...and I know from experience that parent issues are no picnic.
*hugs you again and offers some tea*

Jetforce 02-11-2007 08:19 AM

**hugs to ally and dancedance*

It sounds like ur both having a bad time atm :-( hang in there guys, just think positive thoughts ;)

Synthetisk 02-11-2007 03:44 PM

I'm scared.
I'm too scared to go back to the doctors and get sent back to therapy.
If I can hold out for another 8 months I'll be in a new city and be living on my own hopefully.
I just hope I can make it that long.

~*forever_broken*~ 02-11-2007 03:48 PM

Sasuke, sweetie, why are you scared about being sent back to therapy? It can only help (though I will be the first to admit that it can be a very painful sort of helping...)...
*hugs*

Synthetisk 02-11-2007 05:47 PM

*hugs back*
It's not so much the therapy side to be honest... it's just that last time my parents were ashamed of me because of it, and I'm scared of admitting it to them again. They only found out how depressed I was last time because I'd OD'd :( And they'll get angry at me again and keep getting angry until they're so embarassed that they'll stop me from going back...

Urgh, sorry, I didn't meant to type so much >___<

~*forever_broken*~ 02-11-2007 07:57 PM

Sweetie you didn't write that much at all. I'm so very sorry that your parents are so awful about this. That's terrible, really. Something I think I worry about as most of my family (only my older sister in fact) know about my counseling and meds...
Please don't let their embarassment keep you from getting the help you need though. I know it's very easy to say and not so easy to follow through but it's important for you.
Please take care sweetie.
Much love...and big hugs (always nice when you feel awful)

MammaMia 02-11-2007 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ally83 (Post 351967)
Aww DanceDance...*hugs you* I wouldn't intentionally ignore you, promise... Just in my own little world of missary. I am sorry you are having such a time of it. Sounds like a tough deal with your sister...and I know from experience that parent issues are no picnic.
*hugs you again and offers some tea*

*hugs you back* Being in your own world of misery sucks. :( I'm still having a hard time, non-stop since septemeber && been a **** year overall. I'm sick & tired of being strong- I just don't have the strength left in me anymore. I only bother to get up every morning for college (even when i don't want go in) is so I can get into uni and stuffs and prepare for my future. But I don't see how I can be strong anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jetforce (Post 352073)
**hugs to ally and dancedance*

It sounds like ur both having a bad time atm :-( hang in there guys, just think positive thoughts ;)

Yeah....positive thoughts....what have i got to be positive about? Apart from the fact I have a house to live in, a parent to look after me, amazing people in my life who don't know that I'm like this- except a couple, but they know it's been hard...grrrrr sorry. x

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sasuke (Post 352404)
I'm scared.
I'm too scared to go back to the doctors and get sent back to therapy.
If I can hold out for another 8 months I'll be in a new city and be living on my own hopefully.
I just hope I can make it that long.

Be strong sweetie :] I know it's tough though.

griddlebone 03-11-2007 08:49 AM

*checks in* ill be fine....just need a safe place for a bit :) *snuggles under duvet*

Jetforce 03-11-2007 09:19 AM

*leaves a packet of mashmellows for griddlebone to munch on*

Hope ur alrite there..stay safe xoxo

zowie 03-11-2007 12:03 PM

* Walks in, bursts into tears and throws herself at the closest person for a cuddle *
Yes, I think I'd like to check in here please xxx

MammaMia 03-11-2007 11:04 PM

*hugs zowie*

I'm sad. :(

midnite 05-11-2007 08:21 AM

canīt keep holding on, canīt keep pretending that everythings ok, iīm scared, i donīt like being on my own, donīt know what to do, pls someone tell me what to do, take the meds away from me, i wanna curl up and sleep til it all goes away, iīm so confused. i donīt trust myself :-(

MammaMia 05-11-2007 01:44 PM

*hugs midnite*

I'm doing well in the sh sense :]

l.e.g.o 05-11-2007 07:54 PM

havent harmed yet but need to-im such an idiot i always do something that will end up hurting me in someway or another-i dont want to ever drink again cos i dont want to repeat my actions

i hate myself

MammaMia 06-11-2007 02:56 AM

3 wholesome days & more without SH.

HA!

midnite 06-11-2007 05:01 PM

please somone just kill me, save me the hassle.

MammaMia 06-11-2007 08:26 PM

What's wrong :(

I'm so worried about a close friend of mine, nervous & excited about tomorrow and so tired. Have damm homework to do and I know I'm gonna **** it up again!!

YodaBearInterrupted 06-11-2007 08:38 PM

*HUGS Zowie, midnite and Newlife and DanceDance and JetForce and everyone else in here*

MammaMia 07-11-2007 12:11 AM

Great.
****ing great.
Why is it I get into a good mood.
Then hours later it's ruined?

Hate this bloody life sometimes :[

~*forever_broken*~ 07-11-2007 02:45 AM

Drunk...and on my way to trashed... Ye-haw!
I suck...really suck...f**k me. Please...I just want it to end. God damn. F**k me. Just f**k me. I just want to cut so badly...so badly. F**k me...f**k me. And not the show I'm watching is talking about this gal slitting her wrists. God damn. S**t. F**k.

Synthetisk 07-11-2007 09:38 AM

I wish I didn't have to wake up today.

zowie 07-11-2007 11:01 AM

It's all going wrong and there's no one around who can help me.

~*forever_broken*~ 07-11-2007 04:10 PM

Ick. Anyway I'm sorry about my last post... Apparently I swear more when I feel lousy and am drunk...

MammaMia 07-11-2007 05:33 PM

Yay she's upset
Yes. Me.

mysticshadow 07-11-2007 08:16 PM

Oh...A safe place! Just what I need right now *sits down into a tiny ball*

I'm so tired of everything...

Synthetisk 08-11-2007 02:54 AM

Today my parents said they've had enough of me. My mother told me to hurry up and die.
Funny.
They resort to this when they've never even thought of sitting down and trying to have an actual conversation with me.
I'm not worth their time.


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