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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Scarletdreamer 25-12-2009 01:06 PM

Aw Kahlia... *gentle hugs* That sucks. Maybe you can explain a bit to your flatmate? because generally just leaving it be doesn't work. You won't get thrown out of this flat if you go psychotic, right? (and why was that "rule" in effect at your last living place?)

Christmas morning here... no snow... snow 1200 miles further south & rain here - which is totally messed up!! - boo hiss. I like white Christmasses. It really hasn't snowed all that much here. :( Things are going okay... I'm really beginning to wonder if the Abilify is causing my eating disorder to "act up." I doubt it but it's just a nagging thought in my mind. :-/ It probably can't do that, but you never know, I guess, how a med will work on a person's brain chemicals. Gahhh.

Last night was horrid. I wrote about it in that thread in the ED forum, don't want to take up too much space here. I'm feeling a little better today... but it won't last, I don't think. (Geez, I am SO POSITIVE!!!!)

Anyway. *hugs everyone and leaves some calorie-free fudge for those who want some*

Kahlia1981 25-12-2009 07:15 PM

Morning all ... well it's morning here anyway ......... if you call 4am morning.

April - I've had a chat with my flatmate and he knows that I've been doing it tough in relation to my psychotic symptoms and my tendency to selfharm - although in reality I've now made it to 1 year and 4 months SI free, except for a couple of slips and the attack when I was psychotic. He's going through hell as well at the moment.

It's boxing day here and I've been awake now for 4 hours. It's been raining solidly for most of the time. An hour ago I gave up even trying to sleep because I had just been tossing and turning. I don't know if it was my head, or the rain, or what. I should explain, where I live it hardly ever rains, something like 1 year in every 4 we get a wet season/ Thankfully in this flat we don't have to bail out water ever time it rains. Last summer the house we were in kept getting flooded so we did have to keep bailing water. You couldn't sleep for more than an hour at a time or the water would reach the bedrooms - we rented the underneath of a house as student accommodation.

Oh, and there's nothing to say that we'll get kicked out of this house if we go psychotic. The last place we lived that rule came into effect because our landlord (who also lived in the house) was terrified that it might scare his fiancee and so on and so forth. He kicked my flatmate out for having a psychotic epidsode and I left before it could happen to me.

Anyway I'll stop rambling. Good night or good morning depending where you are in the world.

*hugs everyone*

one_step_closer 25-12-2009 09:24 PM

I really need some support. I'm feeling so suicidal but i'm not going to act on it, which is the worst part. I can't do anything to hurt my brother but I just want out of here and it's not because of the time of the year.

Scarletdreamer 25-12-2009 09:26 PM

Ahh I see. That's an odd rule to have at your last flat... heh. Glad it doesn't apply where you're living right now... and congratulations on making it that far without SI'ing!! That's awesome. I made it for 581 days without cutting, but SI'd once in awhile (and I conveniently forgot about that last bit until just recently when I read old journal entries). That was back in 2006-2007... started back up cutting in winter 2007 and haven't quit since, nor counted days again. I thought I was going to be rid of it for good then, guess I have no hope left. :(

It's raining here too... very weird as it's the middle of winter. It's supposed to snow!! heh. I hate - HATE - brown Christmasses. Oh well. :-/

I don't want to drink anything. I don't want to!! *fights healthy part of self as well as her husband* I've not drunk a lot of water today and I need more if I want to lose this water weight. I have a VitaminWater next to me but I don't want to drink it... arghhhh... for f**k's sake why can't I just be normal?!!?

shadow-light 25-12-2009 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kahlia1981 (Post 2054857)
Oh, and there's nothing to say that we'll get kicked out of this house if we go psychotic. The last place we lived that rule came into effect because our landlord (who also lived in the house) was terrified that it might scare his fiancee and so on and so forth. He kicked my flatmate out for having a psychotic epidsode and I left before it could happen to me.

rules like that are awful!!!



A while back we lost a flat when the landlord found out about my alters and made the argument that technically that meant that we were breaking the lease by having children in the flat :ermm:







also... *waves* hi... I've never really used this thread before...

Stellata 25-12-2009 09:37 PM

What?!!!????!!!!
He needs to ... something.

Scarletdreamer 25-12-2009 09:56 PM

Welcome to the thread, shadow. :) Good to see you here. And that rule is effing ridiculous!!! So stupid. :( *hugs*

My tummy hurts. :(

Jetforce 26-12-2009 02:55 PM

*sigh* :(

Scarletdreamer 26-12-2009 03:04 PM

*hugs Jet* What's up?

Not feeling the best myself at the mo... but just got some new clothes that actually fit the way I like them to fit... so that's good. :-/

Jetforce 26-12-2009 03:07 PM

i should be happy but i'm not.....meh oh well, *sigh*

*hugs scarlet* how u doing there? i'm glad ur clothes fit, i bet watever u bought looked nice on yah

Canis 26-12-2009 06:17 PM

I've never been here before, but I really need a safe space right now...

*curles up in a corner*

shadowedsoul 26-12-2009 07:21 PM

runs in curls up under some blankets in corner. argh **** please dont make me face this. please my freind cant die. i i i can loose her,please god no. please dont take my feind away i cant handle that .:ermm: :crying: :crying: :crying:

Canis 26-12-2009 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowedsoul (Post 2056317)
runs in curls up under some blankets in corner. argh **** please dont make me face this. please my freind cant die. i i i can loose her,please god no. please dont take my feind away i cant handle that .:ermm: :crying: :crying: :crying:

*goes and hugs you really tight*

shadowedsoul 26-12-2009 08:02 PM

thanks canis. this sucks i knew this was coming,but i was hoping it wouldnt happen. i cant handle it if she dies,i cant lose her. life sucks.up in my room close to tears. family down stairs. cant be happy now. **** please god dont take my freind,please

Canis 26-12-2009 08:07 PM

Sounds like a horrible situation to be in :( I'm so sorry this is happening to you... *hugs some more and makes you your favorite tea*

Scarletdreamer 26-12-2009 08:19 PM

*gently cuddles Shadowedsoul* Do you want to talk about it at all? If so, that's fine - here is a place for being safe, for venting, for just calming down if you're upset. Talking about it may help, and I know that we are pretty good listeners. I'm so sorry that you are going through that right now... sounds like you definitely don't need to have to cope with that (if that made any sense!!)... *more cuddles*

*hugs Canis* Welcome to the thread. :) Nice to see a new face. How are you doing today?

*hugs Jet* The clothes I bought were actually guys' pants - one pair of camo and one pair of Wranglers, so I'm not sure if they look really great. Haha. But they are comfy, and that's what matters. Went shopping again later today - after Christmas sales - and bought some shirts from Hot Topic (punk/goth store) as well as a dressier one - a thermal, lol - from Gander Mountain. I was tempted by the Life is Good stuff (http://www.lifeisgood.com) but it was wayy too expensive, $35 for the shirt I wanted. I was NOT going to spend that much. We also got shooting gloves there, so I can target practice in the winter. :)

Anyway.

So I'm doing alright, I guess. Was too distracted at the mall to want to purge although I do want to now... boo hiss. I really hate these urges... :(

*hugs everyone*

Canis 26-12-2009 08:24 PM

*hugs back* Better now... had a reaaally bad fight with my fiancee over basically nothing... *sigh*

*scares the urges away for you*

shadowedsoul 26-12-2009 08:30 PM

thank you, dont really want to talk about it, dont handle death very well. just want to be little again. and hide pretend this isnt happening,sorry being a selfish bit*h and needy. im sorry

Canis 26-12-2009 08:32 PM

*hugs you some more* hey... you're not being selfish, it's okay. if you would like to talk more private, feel free to pm me, okay?

Scarletdreamer 26-12-2009 08:32 PM

The fights over nothing are always the worst. Been married for a bit over a year now and that's what I've found out. At the end you both feel stupid and neither wants to admit that s/he is wrong.

*holds shadowedsoul* You're welcome. Don't worry about talking about it... just take care of yourself the best you can, okay? *gentle hugs* And you're not a selfish person at all... just one who is struggling right now. I'm here if you need to talk as is Canis.


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