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*cuddles* Do you know what set it off hun?
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Sorry I have been away for a while. I havent been too good the past week. I still feel like I am sinking in quick sand, battling my own demons.
I have missed everyone so much. Big Hugs to everyone xxx Love Jade xxx PS I dont know how much longer I can keep fighting |
Those dark thoughts keep creeping into my mind.
The ideas of how to make this so much easier. The endless ways I could end it all. Escape all the pain inside... I'm terrified... I don't want to be here inside my head! I can't keep thinking like this... It's poisoning me. I'm getting sick from it. I'm scared... I'm so scared... I have two rehearsals today, and I am not ready for festival this week. I don't have ANY of my speech arts stuff memorized... and I'm performing on Tuesday... I'm so dead... I can't fail at this stuff. I can't do it. I don't want to fail at another thing in mylife... |
*cuddles everyone*
Sorry it's not more :( |
*offers hugs and cuddles to everyone*
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*clings on Kahlia*
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*packs a bag and crawls into denial tent*
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*cuddles Helen*
*offers supplies for denial tent to Ashley* *offers apologies to anyone she might have offended .... * |
*Screams her ****ing head off*
PEOPLE NEED TO GET THE **** OVER ****. People need to stop acting like a ****ing child. Guess what, honey? I've changed. I'm NOT who you used to know! I am darker, more horrible, I am not me any more. I am not 'Däyna', because she's dead. UNDERSTAND THAT? SHE'S ****ING DEAD. I am sick and ****ing tired of trying to work myself up to talk to someone, and then have stupid, narrow minded **** like 'LOL I'M NOT GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT' thrown back at me. And then when I get awkward, and realise that the ****er in question isn't who I should be talking to and try and change the subject? Just a 'whatever', followed by a hasty ****ing departure. FINE. **** OFF THEN. ****ING WASTE OF SPACE. YOU TWO FACED DAMNED ****. YOU ONLY PRETEND TO GIVE A **** WHEN IT SUITS YOU, WHEN IT MAKES YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU ONLY PRETEND TO GIVE A DAMN WHEN WE'RE TALKING IN A PUBLIC THREAD; SO LONG AS EVERYONE ELSE THINKS YOU'RE A GOOD GUY, YOU DON'T ****ING CARE. I have got to summon up the courage to get you out of my damned ****ing life |
*holds Dayna while she screams* ~ let it all out hon ... get rid of all the nasties if you can. *offers you hugs*
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I have the start of a migraine, hate this :( Don't mind the pain....but the eyesight thing I cannot stand :(
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*offers Helen some strong painkillers for her migraine*
*leaves hugs for all* |
*Hugs Helen* x_O Is there nowt you can take for the migraine*
*Hugs Kahlia back* Thankfully, I'm calmer now. Just tired |
Painkillers never work when it comes to my headaches anymore, espically my really bad ones. Argh it's so painful today, I'm going to go back to bed now I think for a little while as I've been out today :)
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*hugs Helen* - Wish I could Help the Pain Sweetie, but I know how you feel my shoulder's still sore :'(
*Leaves BIG Bags Of Mini egss For Everyone* Im making chocolate Nests tomorrow thats if my shoulder is better :'( |
*Sneaks in quietly and unobtrusively*
*Curls up in corner and clutches her head* |
Binged.
Angry. |
Zowie - I just binged too, know that feeling of shame on myself all too well.
Helen - I hope you have been hiding under your duvet covers, the migraine aura is horrible (I get them too), hope you feel better soon. *holds Dayna* Another Monday done *leaves hugs for all* x |
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I've got a funeral to attend tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. It's for my best friend's dad so me, my notetaker and another person from the choir are all attending to give her support and I'd met her Dad once. Don't know how I'll act tomorrow hmm. |
Okay. Feeling a bit better now so I can do a few individual replies.
Helen - Hope the migraine passes. Good luck at the funeral tomorrow, it's nice to hear you're there for your friend. *Hugs* Mary Anne - Ugh. I hate the guilt that follows. Not to mention the fact that I feel completely sick. It's passed now, but I'm going out drinking tonight which means I'll be drinking beer which is just going to add to the fat. Hello Banana. Don't know if you've ever ventured in here before, but if not, welcome. Make yourself comfortable and post as much as you need. Gil - Hope your shoulder feels better soon. *Offers painkillers and chocolate* *hugs Kahlia back* Dayna - *Hugs* Hope your feeling better now. I'm sorry you were feeling so bad and I wasn't here when you were. Ashley - What have you packed in your bag for a stay in the denial tent? I've got chocolate and magazines to keep us going :) Sorry I didn't do the replies in order, I just read each post from bottom to top :P I'm going to see some old high school friends tonight. The old gang always goes on nights out but never invited me because I was hanging out with cunts. Now I've stopped seeing the **** people they're used to not having me around I guess. They didn't even invite me tonight, I just phoned one of them to see if she wanted to come round and she said I could come out with them. I feel a little unwelcome, but I really want to see some of them so I'm going. My little sister has a friend round who just pretended to be stupidly hyper on coca cola. It was really annoying, and eventually I had to take the cola away from her. Ugh. Children >.< |
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