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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PoisonedApple 23-03-2011 09:58 PM

wow got busy in here real quick!
*cuddles Charlie*
be back in an hour or so (gotta cover the front desk for R's lunch)
*cuddles all*

Doikers 23-03-2011 09:58 PM

Hey that looks Fun Crimson!

*Squishes Louise* You're not useless hun , try to ignore horrid comments people make?

Doikers 23-03-2011 10:02 PM

Whats up Charlie ?

Billy! 23-03-2011 10:09 PM

I just...These urges. They've been at least once a day for the past 29 days and I've fought through all of them. I've use every skill I can think of, every distraction, self soothing activity, everything. But I can't anymore. The last few days it's just been constant. I can't fight it anymore. I can manage tonight cause I'm not at home. But tomorrow....It's just not gonna happen.

Doikers 23-03-2011 10:14 PM

*Squishes Charlie* I'm sorry you are having urges , could you get rid of your tools before you get another urges , Into the River (With your phone :P) or flush them ? Start trying the techniques again , going From 1st to last ?

Doikers 23-03-2011 10:15 PM

*Night time Hugs my Wardies*

Billy! 23-03-2011 10:20 PM

I have got rid of my blades, but I can get new ones. And I want to. I don't care about it anymore. I just need it now. I can manage tonight, but tomorrow morning.....I'm looking forward to this. Does that make me sick?
*Night time Hugs Mark*

BWchick 23-03-2011 10:27 PM

It just gets hard. We all go through difficult times. tell yourself that you are better than that; that you are strong because you are we wouldn't have you any other way and we loooovvveee you

*SQUISH*

FlyingNy 23-03-2011 10:35 PM

*Hugs Charlie* You've done so well, you've managed to earn yourself your 1 month free bracelet :)

****. My friend is asking my really awkward questions. She saw my legs today. I haven't cut, but I had written in black marker everything I think about myself. I was wearing a dress but it's knee length and I had tights on so I thought it would be okay but now she's asking about them...

Billy! 23-03-2011 10:38 PM

Exactly Lia so I deserve a little relax right?

FlyingNy 23-03-2011 10:39 PM

I just don't want you to regret it so much you do something stupid or just generally feel like ****.

FlyingNy 23-03-2011 10:41 PM

Great all I could think of to reply to my friend's text asking about the writing on my legs was 'well this racoon came in and it was possessed by a piece of Voldermort's soul, so as I was innocently changing for school it came at my with my marker pen from my whiteboard and began a vicious attack. I fought it off but I was already late for school so I had to go with it." That's even worse than the excuse 'I'm baking a hedghog for Prince Charles' anniversary'.

Billy! 23-03-2011 10:42 PM

It's just....I'm getting to the point again that i'm having so many urges to self harm which I have to fight, I'm getting suicidal again.

BWchick 23-03-2011 10:43 PM

I like that actually! :) you are fine. that is better than actually hurting yourself

BWchick 23-03-2011 10:44 PM

NO CHARLIE *tackles and smothers in armes* pleeeeeeeeeeaaaassssseee dooonnnnttttt! :(

Billy! 23-03-2011 10:47 PM

Thats My point....it's like, the lesser of two evils. I can't fight both...

FlyingNy 23-03-2011 10:50 PM

If you really feel you need to, no one was expecting you to go cold turkey. You can come off the self harm slowly. Do it once a day, then twice a week, then once a week, twice a month, once a month etc.

Billy! 23-03-2011 10:52 PM

I am loving wearing my one month free but...I don't want to go back to being a suicidal mess, or worse-making attempts and even maybe succeeding. Self harms just more....safe?

FlyingNy 23-03-2011 10:58 PM

It is. But you can beat this permently. You just have to do it slowly. I won't stop you if you feel it's best for you, because as you said, the alternative is worse. I just don't want you to beat yourself up over it. Like I said, come off slowly, become less dependant bit my bit.

Billy! 23-03-2011 11:01 PM

Maybe I will feel better in the morning though. Hopefully. The longer I can manage the better. I wanted to wear short sleeves tomorrow if the weather was the same as it was today. 18 degrees here.


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