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Doikers 11-09-2010 04:24 PM

I'm still wanting to cut:( But I'must not here at my parents , ( Monday can't come fast enough )My parents are not even here until tomorrow evening so I could , My concentration is still broken I'm watching / listening to music vids on youtube sporadically , I dozed for a bit which I hope won't affect my sleep tonight....... I'm going to my sisters for dinner , she will ring when they are leaving Cardiff which will take them an hour to get here from , I bought a nice pomegranite and elderflower drink instead of the traditional wine as I can't drink , my sister doesen't really like to drink much at all and my brother in law is a muslim and they don't drink .I just hope they like it .

MammaMia 11-09-2010 04:46 PM

They will like the flavoured water I'm sure, espically if it's fizzy. I love fizzy flavoured water.

*cuddles ward*

Turns out I haven't been rejected for the job, that my interview was for last Friday :) I got a phone call today asking me to come in to fill in a extended health questionnaire and explained that it was on hold until I could fill in a vacancy, or something =] So might be offered one next week, just got to hope & wait :)

Mum took me to the chemist on the way home about my oh so wonderful skin & he thinks I should go to the doctors. My best friend will be pleased as she's told me a couple times recently :P

I'm rambling...oh & I brought my first Christmas present today. Should I be worried? :P

Doikers 11-09-2010 05:01 PM

I think its fizzy Helen :) Thanks for the reasurrance. Thats Good news about the job , GO YOU! and good luck with the medical questionare. Hehe I beat you to it I bought my first Christmas presant weeks ago , we probably shoulden't be worried , we are just organized :)

shadowedsoul 11-09-2010 05:28 PM

Cuddles all
Mark. Yeah I'm okay,well I'm now. Had the day from hell.erm had a slight accident this morning. So that wasn't great. Then stuiped stuff happening at work.

CrazyHayley 11-09-2010 06:01 PM

*pokes her head into common room so that people know she's around and thinking of them* - but can't stay as Eoghan is here, my brave face is on, doing this whilst he making a cup of tea! Got to go! *sneaks back out*

Doikers 11-09-2010 06:08 PM

*Hugs Jill* I'm glad you're okay now :)

*Hugs Hayley* HEY:) Enjoy your time with Eoghan as much as you can if you can .

MammaMia 11-09-2010 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2484840)
I think its fizzy Helen :) Thanks for the reasurrance. Thats Good news about the job , GO YOU! and good luck with the medical questionare. Hehe I beat you to it I bought my first Christmas presant weeks ago , we probably shoulden't be worried , we are just organized :)

You're very welcome for the reassurance. Thanks for questionnaire, did it there and then :) I'm sure someone beat both of us in getting a first Christmas present for this year :P We are organised!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyHayley (Post 2484888)
*pokes her head into common room so that people know she's around and thinking of them* - but can't stay as Eoghan is here, my brave face is on, doing this whilst he making a cup of tea! Got to go! *sneaks back out*

*squishes*

RYUU 11-09-2010 07:16 PM

* hugs everyone *
Am changing my name to RYUU ( Japanese name meaning Dragon ) just so you know that its me

Feeling like i need to cut been thinking about maybe restricting again and not wanting to eat

misskitty112 11-09-2010 08:11 PM

gah. harmed this morning.
Also, I love how I spend so much of my time trying to convince other people not to go the suicide route... and I can't even get the thoughts out of my own head.

one_step_closer 11-09-2010 08:15 PM

Mark, please try not to cut. I know that you can do this and could continue not to cut once you are away from your parents. You have the strength to beat the urges.

Jill, i'm here if you want to talk.

*waves to Hayley*

Helen, I can't believe that you and Mark have started Christmas shopping, I don't even want to think about it!

Reaper, please take care of yourself.

It's coming to that time of night where I realise how alone I am. I tried to sleep last night when I felt bad but I couldn't sleep. I just want to overdose. I can't live with mental illness any more. I'm not strong enough.

one_step_closer 11-09-2010 08:16 PM

Felicia, i'm sorry that you harmed. Are you taking care of yourself and your wounds? It's hard when you're suicidal, do you want to talk about it?

misskitty112 11-09-2010 08:21 PM

I've made a list of who all I need to buy for this Christmas. I acquired a stepdad and 4 stepsiblings this summer, and I'm so afraid I'll forget them or not be able to afford presents for them.

Lindsay, I'm sorry things are so hard for you *hugs*

I'm... trying to care for myself, but I'm not doing a good job. I just... don't care. It's a shitty way to treat myself, I know. But I just can't force myself to care right now.

risenfromperdition 11-09-2010 08:40 PM

im 3 pages behind [rents at a party haha]
but... RENT
<3333

RYUU 11-09-2010 08:45 PM

Ended up cutting i feel so low

one_step_closer 11-09-2010 08:57 PM

Felicia, I know that feeling. Just do what you can. *hugs*

Reaper, i'm sorry that you cut and are feeling low. Is there anything you want to talk about?

I don't know if I should phone the crisis team or not. I don't want to end up overdosing tonight but at the same time I do.

misskitty112 11-09-2010 09:06 PM

*hugs Reaper* I'm just a PM away if you need to talk.
*Hugs Lindsay* I think you should phone the crisis team.

I feel stranded. I suppose I'll try to live through the day.

RYUU 11-09-2010 09:14 PM

Today has just been a day of emotions i was happy this morning even looked up Japanese pop music and having a laugh with my husband then we started to talk about going away for the week and food there and my mood changed
we are going for a wedding and i know am going to be the fattiest person there it will be embarrassing for my husband having me there
now am just focusing on the food that i have been eating and the calories that is in them

Doikers 11-09-2010 09:14 PM

*Hugs Felicia* I'm sorry you are so very low , please look after your cuts and yourself . I'm here if you need to talk .

*Hugs Lindsay* Living with a mental illness is so tough but it has peaks and troughs and it sounds to me that you are in a trough but you WILL bounce out of it . I feel like a bit of a hypocrite but life is worth it in the end :)

*Hugs Reaper/Ryuu* I'm sorry you cut , please take good care of it .

shadowedsoul 11-09-2010 09:28 PM

Cuddles all, thanks Lindsay just wish I could get the words to explain how I'm feeling and why I'm feeling like this. Damn it I'm really triggered and I hurt so much right now, just want to find a way to get completely out of it and feel numb right now. Had enough of this. Sorry

Doikers 11-09-2010 09:57 PM

*Spots and squishes April* How are you this afternoon?

Right off to bed with me ,I'm not tired but I'm a bit triggered and "Asleep is the safest place you can be"


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