*cuddles everyone*

*cuddles you all*

just had a great night, saw an amazing outdoor production of Romeo and Juliet, was just fantastic.
but now I'm home and bloody dreading tomorrow and the week that follows, want to just curl up and cry

Hmm ice diving sounds interesting... lol... but kinda like a treatment used a long time ago in insane asylums, "shock treatment," where you basically were dunked in a tub of ice cold water until you came out of whatever funk you were in. Hope that made sense (and didn't offend anyone).

Am doing a bit better now, thankfully. >_<

Mark, it's okay that you were "crap" on FB... you weren't really, unless I were too, because I didn't really have anything to say, just wanted to talk with someone and I talked with you so that was good. :) So, no feeling bad and no sorries. :) You were fine. *cuddles* How are you feeling now?

Hels, Oliver, how are you two doing? *cuddles*

Nicole, feeling any better? *cuddles*

Felicia, I hope your walk goes well. And yey for music heaven, hehe, I was like that a bit ago when I had a new Delain cd and a new Sirenia cd. XD They both went on my iPod and I've been listening to them a lot. More Skillet and Plumb and Evanescence lately, though. >_< *cuddles* I'm sorry to hear about your relationship & how it's been going; I'd say get out of it if you can... because that's not a healthy relationship (d'oh). But, easier said than done, I know. Sorry if that was dense advice. :-S

So effing tired. Started another rep grind tonight with my main on WoW. Should be fun... >_< It's going to take awhile as you start at neutral with the faction, then go to friendly --> honored --> revered --> exalted, and THEN you get the reward (a Wintersaber [purple-ish striped tiger] mount). Woohoo. :) But geez. It's going to take a looong time...

Anyway. Ummm... I don't have anything else to say, really. Just really stressed and exhausted and anxious, all at the same time. And low. Mustn't forget that. >_< Haven't texted my NP yet, need to do that... :-S

Oliver, what's tomorrow & the week that follows? is the the orchestra course where you have to "be a girl"? Sorry if that sounded dense, I really don't know a lot about this type of thing so yeah. :-X Don't mean to offend. *hugs* Glad you enjoyed the production of "Romeo & Juliet" though. :)

yeah its the orchestra course where I have to pretend to be a 'girl' and you didn't offend or sound dense in anyway, I'm not understanding everyone in here to understand trans stuff so its fine.

its just suddenly hit me, I thought I was stronger and braver and could do it, but I can't, plus I won't have internet so won't be in here until next sunday.

*huggles all*

Sorry for the lack of individual replies - there's been four pages of posts since I was last in here. :-(

Just thought I'd do a quick update on my appointments yesterday if anyone is interested the full update is in my support thread.

Pain Management: Being referred to quite a few different people and getting an assessment by the physio - although he said that my hospital physio probably did "quite a thorough" assessment - so he knows what to work on. He's taking it to the meeting next Thursday (12/Aug) and then I should get letters. (Yay)

I walked out of there quite literally shaking like a leaf.

Psychiatrist:
Firstly, coming down off the Proprananol (beta-blocker) from 120mg (40mg/80mg) until I'm off it;
Secondly, starting to take Anafranil (tricyclic antidepressant) starting with 25mg nocte (nightly) for 5 days then going to 50mg nocte
These two things are actually happening simultaneously but we (me, my housemate and my psychiatrist) are keeping fully open lines of communication. I am emailing my psychiatrist in a week - about August 13th and seeing him again on the 20th.

Because I'm on a tricyclic we've got some special rules in place, but I'm really hoping that this works. I'm sick of feeling like a prisoner in my own home. I know that it will take some time, but it would be nice to be like a normal person . . . to be able to leave the house just for fun - to walk away from the house without having to have "a reason". *sigh*

Oops, sorry. Talking about myself WAY too much.

I'm off in an hour , everyone take care and I'll be back next sunday evening.

*cuddles all*

*cuddles everyone*

*Hugs Everyone* Morning :)

Hey Helen , I spot you :)

You don't spot me :P I posted before you aha!!!

*hugs Helen && Mark*

How are you two/both/all going?

*cuddles everyone*

*huggles everyone*

oop! so you did Helen :)

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm frustrated at myself , and numb (constantly) , the sedative affects of meds plus depression = me not being able to get out of bed at a "reasonable" time and I struggle to function at all until about 3pm when I "Wake up" and I'm usually numb/low so I just want to sleep ,sorry .

How are you doing Kahlia?

Cuddles all. Hmm being think is there any point in all this. Feel like want to burst into tears right now.sorry being pathetic. Hmm April would you mind if I pm you? If it's okay.

lol, i told my friends that i thought it was time we moved on and made new friends cause we are too different and are focusing on different things, and this is what she just sent me.
y'know what? I reckon I've come to a conclusion. Now, I may regret this later, but I don't give a flying **** atm. If you wanna be a fatshit sad sack of tears who does nothing more than just sit around and bitch all day despite having good quality of life compared to others, who thinks she'll easily get a job in the recession with ZERO qualifications, who has deluded herself into thinking she's an adult, who has deluded herself into thinking she's somehow better, therefore USED ME, ABI, LISA AND ALL THOSE OTHERS AS NOTHING MORE THAN DISPOSABLE BACKUP, then fine. Go for it. You can go for it, we know you'll die alone in the end. If your new buddies leave you, do not ****ing expect sympathy from us. Thankyouverymuch, rant over. Reply as you may, I don't give a toss.
lol. she is so pathetic.

OOhhh Nicole *Hugs* are you okay? That sounds harsh and an overreaction to say the least :S

*hugs mark* yeah im fine. she is SO possesive :/ lol

Good :) Not that she is possesive , that you are fine :)

lol, yeah, i just think its quite funny.

Cuddles all. Hahaha today just getting better, next week is going to be intresting I reckon half an hour to a hour for hell to break loose.