I'm struggling
 

I'm finding things really hard right now and could use some comfort and support. Please.

Terror.
Anxiety.
Worry.
Dread.
Fear.
Paranoia.
Aloneness.

hun remember, feelings are natural and come and go.
keep strong and remember all the good things youve experienced recently.
dont dwell on them distract yourself and do things that usually make you feel good.
*hugs*
take care
xxx

*Sits by Katie to help her feel safe and grounded*
Whenever you're ready hun.

*hugs* emotions can be hell to endure...they do wax and wane though.

*gentle hugs* has something happened to set this off? or is it a combination of everything else?

Talk if you want but as has been said just know we are here.

Amy

Katie and everyone there

you are cared about and valued by us

you are a beautiful soul with a great heart and wonderful gifts

you matter

warm thoughts and a wish for inner comfort come with these words for each of you

slacker

Hey Katie and all
We're thinking of you and are here listening if there are things you want to let out.
What is making things hard at this time for you?
We really hope it gets easier.

I'm here for you, take care of yourself and let these feelings pass safely.

Thanks everyone.

It's because of... changes I'm making in my life... along with a 3 week therapy break [during which my GP is also away for 2 weeks of it] coming up over the holidays, and my flatmates heading off to India, of all places right now, for a month from 26th.

(sending you a hug)

Thinking of you Katie, be gentle with yourself. Here if you need anything. Take care
Kat xxxx

Awww, Katie *hugs gently* hang on in there and know you have a lot of people on here keeping you company and ready to listen any time you need to talk.

It does sound like a lot has started happening at once, but it will settle down and you can get through it.

Roiben x

*gives you a big cuddle to take away the sadness*
Feel free to rant away at me any time honey, or on this thread, just don't feel alone xxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks everyone. Your support means a lot.

I'm glad you are letting out your painful feelings.

We are here for you.
Much love. xx

*sending you gentle hugs*
Remember that we love you and we are here for you.

*hugs* I know you can get through this because you're so strong. X

How are you today Katie?

Thank you so much.
I'm doing a lot better the past couple of days.
It's really hard work though. An intense challenge. Work doesn't stop once you make changes in your life - in many ways it's only beginning then.

*cuddles*
Thinking of you =]

i'm thinking of you, hope your inner mum will look after you and make sure you have the warmth and comfort you need when you're feeling vulnerable. xxx

Thank you Laura and Katy.

I took a zopiclone last night and got some respite. I just hope I don't turn into the crabby bitch from hell on the way to work, from being taken away from my respite nest and having to go out in the world....Then again I was crabby self yesterday from being so strung out, so it's not completely black and white..

I'm glad you got some rest, Katie.
I applaud you for making changes in your life, even though it brings up uncomfortable feelings. I am confident in your ability to continue on even through this overload of feelings. Please remember that if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you.
Take care, lovely.

Glad you got some rest love
And don't worry about being crabby everyone is now and then and you have good reason
Just keep fighting your doing amazing
Take care
xx

thinking of you, hope work went ok xxx

it's okay to be crabby :) everyone is sometimes, it beats the old "happy mask". xxx

*hugs*
take care of yourself
xxxx

Thinking of you x

*hugs*

I'm with you every step of the way. You deserve happiness.

Thank you everyone.

An additional stressor has had me hanging only just on the edge of reality, but I'm working hard at keeping myself from falling. And I feel so much better from therapy this morning.

I'm glad that therapy helped. Stay strong, I know you can do it.

Thank you...

It's hard right now, really hard.

Can you put words to what's so hard? The feelings? I'm sorry things are rough, I want to be here for you if I can.

x

Thanks Abigail.

What's hard? Caring, needing, wanting, managing 'alone', aching. Love, feeling another's caring concern and support when historically and in your own psyche, you're used to abuse, ridicule and shaming attacks - somehow it really hurts.
Having a split off personality segment that loses touch with present day reality, trying to keep clear, safe boundaries with her.
Jealousy, envy, resentment.

I can relate to that so much. *Safe hugs.* Gosh it's scary, I could have written that.
You've mentioned before feeling like having no skin, is that present now? I just wonder whether what you said before helped in that situation might help in this one too; wrapping a blanket around you? It might help you to feel physically better. I think little things are good, especially physical ones, because you're used to feeling this in your psyche, it will take time to change that, but you can do small things to try and feel things different physically. This might sound crazy but the HTT told me to do it once and it helped, get a blanket, some ice cream or something, put your feet up and watch a comedy? It might help you to relax, even if you curl into a ball and just have teh tv on for company.
Could you draw this inner turmoil you are going through? Or write a letter to one of the people who has abused you or even the person who is being supportive to try and get out how you feel.
I love your avatar, would lighting a candle now and focusing on it's light and heat help?

Here for you, if none of these help or you're not up to trying them that's absolutely fine, here for you through it and we will keep going and find something that helps.

x

Thanks Abigail, that really helps. :)
I'll reply properly as soon as I can.

*hugs Stellata* I'm sorry I'm not much help.