New News from my Psych
 

My Dad went to see my psych and she said two things:

1) If I don't get better by the end of the two weeks, I can have my stay at hospital extended.
2) I can go into residential care (like the Cassel) or supported accomodation after my hospital stay to help me become independent.

That makes me feel a bit less nervous.

Only problem is is that my Mum has this bizarre idea that hospitals will never help and staying at home with her will cure me. This is because she cannot let go of me. She needs me and will do anything to not have me taken away from her, even if it helps me get better. She clings onto me, metaphorically. My Mum suppresses me so when I am not with her, I tend to lose it because of all the suppressed emotions. She gets angry when I talk about the Voices and the Mindreaders/Men in Suits. I've stopped telling her these things and I haven't told her about the Coded Messages.

I swear my Mum is on the Mindreaders' side.

That's really good news from your psych. I really hope it helps.

Your mum isn't on the mindreaders side - she's just very protective of you because she loves you so much. Saying that she does need to think about what's best for you though. Is she getting any support at the moment? I know my parents struggled a lot when I was really ill and sometimes the parents get forgotten about in the support side of things because they're not the patient. Maybe if she got some support it would help her deal with her emotions and therefore she wouldn't surpress you so much.

Your mum is intertwined with you, what's known as 'entangled'. She believes that she needs you to survive. This doesn't allow you to be fully your own person.
I think a supported acc./resi. treatment would be excellent.

Thanks guys...

My Mum is going through a hard time atm because my parents are divorcing. I'm trying not to take sides but she wants me to.

My Dad told me just now that my psych will talk to her team about getting me supported accomodation so that when I leave hospital I can go straight in.

I think, as a parent of a teenager, it must be very hard for your mother to accept what you are going through and is easy to put her head in the sand and think just love and comfort can cure problems. I imagine though that you know what is best for you and you must follow that path in order for you to reduce the voices and conspiracies that go off in your mind. I really hope you manage to get the best care available to you. Aly

Thanks Aly. I am sympathetic towards my Mum but she does get annoying at times. I will be relieved to get a break from the divorcing situation at home. I want to get out of this nightmare and be back to my normal studious self, not dropping out of uni and doing nothing with my life. I want to go back to uni and succeed in becoming a forensic pathologist.

I think you will get there, I am sure you will, you'll be a phorensic pathologist and I'll be a psychologist :-)

We will succeed in life. You'd be a great psychologist. While I'll be cutting up dead bodies lol.

:-) hehehe, maybe I can do psychlogical profiles on killers of the muder victims you come accross, I hope there are few of those though. beginnings of a TV duo. :-)

We would make a good pair =)
The only problem is is that I have to take postgraduate medicine and become a doctor first, which would be interesting seeing as I'd have to do a mass cover-up of my schizophrenia and probably get plastic surgery on my scars...

Have you read Oliver Sacks?? he meets a surgeon with Turettes Syndrome. If he can do it so can you. I don't think TV has aver done a crime series where the stars are completely potty

Sounds really positive to me =]

And I don't think your mum is on the mindreaders side, she just wants to believe she can still make you better like mum's could when their kids were little.

I should read that. I saw a documentary called "The Doctor Who Hears Voices" and it proves to me that you can have a mental illness and still become a doctor, you just have to lie your way in. I will just lie on all the forms and in my interview. If I told the truth I wouldn't stand a chance.

Thanks, those words helped.

It's called An Anthropologist on Mars and is a very interesting book, in my opinion. Aly

Cool I'll look in the library for it. Thanks Aly.

Oh no, you shouldn't lie your way in to a job. It is very important you disclose mental health issues, so you can get the right support. And if they find out you have lied on forms they can probably sack you.

But nobody will employ a schizophrenic! Especially not the NHS!

Attitudes are starting to change though. I've just started working, albeit as a volunteer, for my local NHS MH Trust and like you Steel thought they'd never take me (having a MI) but they did. I was pleasantly surprised. Gives me hope - that i'd previously lost - for the future.

Thanks for that. I hope that attitudes will change and hopefully staying well for the duration of my university carreer (if the clozapine works) will make them consider me.

I get the feeling I will have to be a genius for them to consider me because they would rather take someone without mental health problems.

I'm doing so badly now I don't know if I'll ever succeed in anything in my life...

Oh yes you will because you have intellegence and determination and the NHS are an equal opportunities employer and because of your problems are honour bound to give you an interview where you will impress them beyond belief. I know you are a wondeful person and will have no problems being employed. Aly

^ very well put by Aly. you most certainly will. as the Buddhists said, "this, too, shall pass".

Thanks for the encouragement. But a doctor I used to have told me not to do medicine. Its just that I have a skill for learning about diseases and I have a skill for anatomy and physiology stuff...I don't want to waste it... But your encouragement is good. My Mum also told me that I will become a forensic pathologist no matter what anyone says. I'm really determined to do it.

Thanks. Nice quote.

I really appreciate all your kind words.

Awww babe i hope things get alot better and im sure you will be a foresenic xxxxxx

I know for sure that you'll be an incredible success.
I agree with your Mum, and that if you want to do it don't let anybody doubt your ability to become what you what to be in life. Especially if you have an aptitude for physiology and anatomy :)
When I was on Aq, we had some of the human resources team from the hospital visit us all to talk to us about interviews and they explained equal opportunities and how it is against the law for any employer to turn you away on the grounds of having a mental illness. So long as you have shown that you are able to work to the best of your ability while having a diagnosis, you should be fine :)
In fact I know that you will be even more than fine!
You're an incredibly strong person and you will be successful. You just need to believe it at all times!!
Love xxxx

Thanks guys.
I can't wait to get better and start reading my textbooks again...I get suck a kick from learning.
Dubagirl, I am glad that the human resources team came to see you and told you that, its very positive. I hope this is true in reality.

I believe you Dubagirl that I am strong and that I will be successful...I have hope. I just to wait for things to work out. I can't be better right now.

I'm really glad to hear that you believe me :)
That's so lovely to read.
Things will work out, it's just a bloody long and tiring road, but it will be worth it in the end!
xxxx

Thanks...we will support each other in succeeding....you'll be a great mental health nurse...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh my head feels like its going to explode!

Yay! And we'll sit outside in the rain lol
I hope packing has been going alright and that you're feeling ok about everything.
And I hope you're head hasn't exploded!!
:)
xxxx

Lol...packing is done and I've only got a little. I'm looking forwards to meeting you. X