does anyone else kind of like their scars..? trigger *SI*
 

I know i shouldn't, and at times I hate hate hate them being on my forearms, can be awkward etc, and I've brought bio-oil which I know works to get rid of them.. but I'm only pretending to my mum that I'm putting it on. WHY?! It's so warped. I look at pics I took of cuts, blood and scabs and now look at my arm of just scars and I'm like well thats not as fun anymore, I need to do more, but atm it's like my arms refusing to let itself be cut! the last time I did it with a knife this week it wouldnt go too deep and didnt properly bleed but enough to leave a mark still, but I think I've bruised the skin cos theres kind of a bump so maybe thats y my skin won't cut anymore atm? v sore but v frustrating. I have photos still of the worst cuts and blood I made once, it was so bad my wooden floor was covered by my bed in blood, it was on my drawers, my curtains, my bedclothes.. and I just left it for weeks I couldnt bring myself to clean it, it looked like something out of a horror film. But my point is if I did that before why can't I do it now? soz 4 the rant

some people will like scars, as some people who feel hurt emotionally, like to be able to see something which corresponds with the pain that they are feeling - if you understand? You see a scar that you have, and it is a reflection of pain that you have felt.

I have Bio-Oil as well, I was using it like crazy before I went on holiday in the summer, to try and dim some scars that I had - and it never worked, and my mum saw them anyway - should probs try it again.

Maybe you can't cut now, because you feel more guilty about it, I don't know but I suppose it's a good thing that you can't.

Take care of yourself xxx

Hmm... I like my scars about 60% of the time, other than that I just feel stupid and ugly with them. But the ones I had to close up (sort of) for healing, I feel weird about because I wish they were as wide as they were when I did them, so people would know I can take it that far, but I know I couldn't have left them open.

I know what you mean about pretending to use the bio-oil! I don't have that, but I told my mom a while ago that I wanted scar-removal surgery, but since then I've cut more and I feel embarrassed and I don't want to get surgery if I'm not done with cutting, ya know?

It's all very strange.
xxx

quote "I wish they were as wide as they were when I did them, so people would know I can take it that far" quote

omg thats how i feel sometimes, it's like on one hand its my secret but also its like some kind of twisted pride saying look what I can do! but of course no1 had seen it so when it fades its like a disapointment.. kind of..

Umm...I wouldn't say that I like my scars as much as you do but here's my thing: when I'm all done with cutting and I've been recovered for a while, I want to be left with some faint scars, so that they're not really obvious, but some people who see me a lot will notice them, and understand what I've been through, but also know that it's in the past...sorry I know that's weird. But I definitely don't want my scars to fade completely because then it will be like this whole period of my life and all the suffering in it never happened at all...and I won't have anything to remind me of what I've been through and what I've overcome and such. Um I'll stop rambling now.

no that really makes sense. it's like if I've spent this period of my life so messed up and doing these things, if the scars fade completely its like it didnt exist and i have nothing 2 prove it..

I quite like mine half of the time, but the other half I feel stupid and embarrassed by them...like other people have said, I don't want them to fade completely because once I recover it would be like it never happened... and if they stay, people might see them and realise that I'm not ok...but I can never bring myself to show anyone...
Yeah, I think it's quite normal to like your scars to some extent.

-shrug-
i don't like nor dislike my scars.
They're just there.

I sort of like them being there, but I hate that other people can see them.
The thought of not having them terrifies me though =/

Love the ones on my upper arm. Hate them on my forearm.

love the ones on my forearm and wrist, hate the ones on my upper arm and legs

I love my scars and i don't want them to fade.I don't know the reason but i want my arm to be full of scars.when they heal sometimes i reopen them.i think that because as the others have said if they fade it will be like nothing happened.you know all the pain and the feelings and everything.i just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone in this!

I do like my scars and I hate the fact that ones I've had for over 5 years are fading now. They're meant to show that I got through the most awful time in my life, and now that they're going, it's like it never happened, and I never got stronger :( Not that I am, but I survived...

I don't like them because the fact they exist means other people can potentially see them.

If it were just me seeing them I'd be indifferent. I don't like to see them, but I don't particularly hate to see them.

I love my scars... My mom wants me to use that mederma scar reduction crap... but I won't... there was a reason I put them there in the first place, & to erase them is to try and pretend like none of it ever happened... I feel like it would be dishonest to get rid of them...

Like if i got rid of them I would be trying to say "Look at me, I'm happy and normal" && I s'pose I am now, but I think if I couldn't see my scars I'd try to make more, just so I'd remember the misery I felt...

&&&&& "those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it"...

I like my scars also, they're my battle scars.

I believe when you refer to the bumpy skin and lack of being able to cut it, it's most likely due to scar tissue underneath, where the skin has been damaged persistently.

I have a patch on my right forearm that was 'my place' for a good few months, and now I can't get a good cut there. The downside is the skin feels rough and bumpy/lumpy, crispy almost.

So, I apply double base cream several times a day now. It soaks in quickly enough, leaves little residue and is cheap! Perfect :P

Try, if you can my lovely, to give that patch of skin a good break and let it recover as best it can.

Nats xxxooo

Its always like 100% no one day and the next it can be 100% yes.

I hate the way they look and the way they make people see me as a person

Sometimes i look at them and see that they are maybe my punnishment for something so im not so bad anymore because ive been punished so its even (make sense?)

Sometimes i can even pretend they're not there

SOmetimes I hate them. I find it hard to comprehend what I have done to myself, but at the same time, they are a part of me. They tell a story, and no matter how much pain I've gone through, it's not something that I ever want to forget, because ultimately, it has made me the person that I am.

I love mine.. I have my reasons for putting them there, and I won't try to erase them for anyone else (no matter how much my mum wants me to put cream/oil on them) becase to do that would be to pretend none of this ever happened and it wasn't that important. At least that's how I see it. Plus I like the look of them, the way the light makes them shine and stuff.

I'm weird like that.

yes and no
 

each one is like a phycal memory trapped in my flesh... have a group of scars that look like an arrow... but suck with want forget about them..

I like my scars, they make me feel like a survivor.
My Mum has also bought me some stuff to use that might fade them, but I haven't used it - haven't even opened it. I think she thinks that me cutting is her fault somehow, but I have told her that's its not.

I tend not to have cuts per se, and end up picking the scabs off most of the time. Bad of me I know.

Loz x

I know it's odd, but I hate the fact that all my scars are faded so that you can barely see them, and I don't know why. I feel liek if I know people wouldn't stare/ask questions/accept them then I would just do it over and over until I was covered all over.

i hate them fading too, im reopening them.. but i cant explain to my mum why I like them, she'll think im crazy

I like my scars too, I wish I had more and more on me, BUT I have counseling now and all that is meant to get me help and cause me to stop.I wish I didi more BEFORE I got well.I like lookig at them and want to see more destruction BEFORE I give it up. BUT I can't do so because I have a responsibility to my husband who hurts to see them on me and a responsibility to God whom I believe in.This responsibility stresses me out some and makes it harder. I guess because my motive is still doing it for other people and not for myself. Too bad. I really need to do it for myself, to stop and be well.Did I write in a way that made sense?

yeah that really makes sense. i don't want people to be upset so i feel i shold stop for them, but i dont seem 2 b able to, until i can do it for me i dont think il b able to. i want to see more damage.. weird...

Yes I like my scars....even anticipate with excitement what my cuts will look like once they are scarred over

I hate them right now, but there are times when I'm kind of proud of them in a twisted kind of way.

This is a good question - obviously, loads of people have replied...
I like my scars. I use cocoa butter on my arms [like yours, my forearms] so that I can wear short sleeves. I want to be able to wear short sleeves but I don't want them to completely disappear. I wouldn't feel like me without them. They are a part of me. They remind me where I have been.

I hate them at times but most of the time I don't mind them. It's other peoples reactions that I don't like!
Good question...x

I love my scars. They are part of who I am. I'm proud of them. They show what I've come through and survived. I prefer to wear short sleeves (exept in rain and snow!!) and I dont care what people think of my scars. If they dont like them, they shouldnt look. My scars remind me that everything that happened is real, and that I should be proud that I've done so well and stopped self harming. I might cover them up in a job interview, but thats not through shame. Sometimes I have odd moments where I wish they were worse, but on normal moments I see that they probably couldnt have got much worse, and its not about how bad someones scarred, its about what you feel inside.

i hate mine.
they just remind me of my past.

i've always liked scars for some reason, i used to be very happy if i had one, when i realised i could give them to myself, you can imagine how i was.

I did survive...
 

i love my scars. i never try to cover them up...to me they say.."look! i survived myself!"

its the open unhealed wounds that i hate...because they remind me that im not in the clear yet...and that somewhere deep inside...i still hate myself :(

omg i think that too, i kind of like my scars like, **** look what you made me do, and they remind me what i've suffered and tried to overcome,
i thought i was some kind of freak for actually liking them sometimes, sometimes i hate them tho and i hate people noticing them...

I feel really bad for saying this, but sometimes feel like cutting just to have the scars. *runs away and hides*

Don't feel bad Quark, I do that too sometimes. And I'll cut in a pattern that I think will look good when the cuts turn into scars.

I don't have any problem with the old scars, I don't like one of new ones, I hope that with time I will fade away, at least a little bit

Your not alone in this hunni (hugs)

I like my scars too ! Cause i feel that they are a part of me and a reminder of all the bad times i've went through which are over now [=

Be safe x

I HATE them; really. They remind me of times when I felt so despairing, alone and miserable.

Witch I guess can be good, because It's a little insentive to try NOT to do it!

I find that they remind me how good it feels to punish myself and by having the scars i can look back at when things were really bad but how good i felt after cutting myself. The only time i dont like them is when people see because nobody understands and everyone says its attention seeking so i tend to cover them up even more now.

i like them sometimes... but they're only for me to see.. to remind me of how much of an idiot i am...
my first injuries... i didn't try to hide them.. but i lied abt how i got them.. heck, i was 10 and clueless... but i learn fast and made them where no one would see...
well now.. i still hide them, and no one knows. maybe suspected... but no one knew for sure.. coz iwas careless and someone saw one. well, they probably have no idea what SI is anyway. haha.
sometimes, i hate them scars.. they're real hard to hide and they take months to even fade away, and longer to completely disappear.. i've one that hasn't completely faded away after 6 years.

i used bio-oil for a while so i could get rid of my scars so i wouldn't be embarrassed. my thighs have tons of scars. scars trigger me like crazy, make me want to cut. i haven't used bio-oil in a while, i think i would miss my scars too much if i got rid of them. i like my scars, but at the same time, i'm afraid of peoples' reactions so i hate them. i'd say that you should use bio-oil for a bit, to lighten them, but don't remove them yet if you think not having them would trigger you more. stay strong <3

Sometimes i wish i could cause such a great deal of physical damage/scaring to myself so others would notice how cut up and dead i feel on the inside...but that's jst because i'm a weak person. I HATE my scaring, i hate how it's jeopardised my future with dance . i hate how it represents all the negative times in my life and i hate how others might percieve me even though i haven't the guts to come out and show anyone. I am ashamed...mayb not of my scars...but of myself. if i had the chance to turn back time and change certain aspects of my life i would STILL pick up that razor blade although i hate s/i i have accepted that it is a part of me and therefore a huge part of my life! and when my scaring fades a little more I SHALL come out confident and proud of my markings!!!

I hate my scars. I wish they would fade like bruises do.

Scars make my life 80% harder than it already is. I hate hiding.

I hate how aqward having scars has made my life.
However on a personal level, I love them. I usually just wear a sleeveless crop top and just stare at my arm in the mirror because to me it is so beautiful.

i have a real love/hate relationship with mine. i never want to lose them, because it would like losing a part of my life. like, if they fade it's like a whole chapter has just been erased. they're a part of me i guess, i used to hate them but now... i think i've gotten more used to them.
i hate other peoples reactions to them mostly. & mine aren't even all that bad.