Quiet boards discussion
 

Hello

The mods have been having a discussion around the quiet boards.

We have noticed that grief and trauma, substance abuse and binge eating are very quiet with not much support happening.

We were wondering what members thought about this and whether it's worthwhile having a think around the boards and whether we should keep them as is or maybe reduce boards etc.

I'm leaving this deliberately vague so as to not influence people but will post my thoughts in due course.

Cam on behalf of the mods

Keep the binge eating board as most conversation is in the comfy couch where the support is.

Totally forgot there was a greif and trauma board to be honest

But one could move that comfy couch to ED?

When I wanted to post about binge eating I would now want to post in the main ED forum for more replies. Even though I really campaigned for the extra board the quietness is sad :(

I often think about this, especially with grief and substance where people who are in serious dark places may not get many replies, so really good question to be brought up Mods. :)

Mmm, it always makes me concerned when I see something in grief or substance abuse that's been sat there a while because it's quiet, that would have had replies in the main board much sooner.

I'd be for streamlining boards.

Streamlining is good.

Off topic but RYL feels like a ghost town in general these days. May be for another thread, but there seems to be plenty of members visiting but not posting. Does it feel unsafe?

Maybe that's contentious but it's just how it looks to me. Thoughts? (Mods please delete if hijacking - will.consider starting new thread).

but I wouldn't even want to post in the normal Ed board as it's mainly aimed at anorexic/bulimic people this is the debate we had before. Keep the binge eating board

^^ but if only a few threads in binge eating are being updated and used regulaly it seems a bit pointless to keep an entire area of the forum. Although I've never used the ED area, to me it seems to make sense to put binge eating back onto it. It might be odd at first but eventually it should flow.

Streamlining to me makes sense, especially in areas of the site that are currently underused.

In my experience on the forums, people who experience overeating are greatly outnumbered by those who experience undereating (terms used for ease of simplification only!!) so I think there is a fear that threads for overeating would get lost in the flood of undereating threads.
I also personally would not feel comfortable posting about my overeating in a forum full of anorexics. It just feels....wrong. And very fat.

I am not sure if that feeling of discomfort is applicable to posts about grief and trauma, which could maybe be lumped into the serious board - but then the Seriousness of serious might get lost as well? I recall another conversation about trying to reduce the number of posts in serious that were not deemed actually *that* serious.

Isn't it just that misconception that needs to be challenged...

I binged more when I was anorexic than I ever do now. Fact.

Its this idea that people with tiny frames and anorexic BMIs wont understand the feeling of a binge or that people who binge eat are not in the same headspace. I just think there could be more compassion and awareness rather than division, I suppose I feel very sad that someone who suffers from binge eating feels unable to post in an ED board.

My thoughts on BORIS:

1) I assume active threads will be moved and not disappear. So the Comfy Couch would still be running and nobody had to miss out on the support they get there.

2) Support threads for binge eating might get more support than on the subforum that is often overlooked.

3) It's an artificial segregation of eating disorders. Challenging the wide spread idea that anorexia and bulimia are the main EDs might be a better approach to overcome the differences in attention and support. I would like to see a board where all EDs are accepted as equal and where binging is represented as just as serious as undereating or purging. Especially new members or people who feel insecure and like their issues are less serious might benefit from treating all EDs the same.

Hope I made sense.

So that's a yes from me to the idea of reducing / getting rid of sub forums as I hope it will increase support for those that are often overlooked.

I have always wanted to reduce the number of sub-forums. Grief is something that would easily go in GSA, or Serious. I would even say that the Vet boards could become part of the main forums.

Regarding the ED section, I would combine it. Currently it feels quite divisive and not always clear where a new member should post. The level of support shouldn't decrease because it is no longer an individual section, if anything it should increase because the pool of readers will increase.

What about changing the name of the ed forum?

I think "Eating Disorder Support" is fine; it's quite general. It seems from this thread and the previous discussion about the board is the attitude of members, and I doubt a name change would make any difference.

I think the name is fine.
What could it be changed to anyway?

Something to include binge eating or something!

Seems some if the objections to BORIS going are because it is specifically for binge eating having a looser title might help?

But binge eating disorder is an eating disorder?

Can any old school RYLers remember the origins of the binge eating forum? To me its existence seems quite strange (why not also have a subforum for undereating and a subforum in mental health for personality disorders etc?), but maybe there was a really good reason for it existing which still stands now that we aren't seeing because we're so used to it.

I'm unsure if that made sense...

Also,
What makes you think it's mainly aimed at anorexic/bulimic people? It only appears that way at the moment because BED and related issues are segregated into another board, if it wasn't then it would just be a general eating disorders board.

^I think you joined before it came about. Aimee (then Alice in Wonderland) was one of the key players. At the time, it was much busier, and BORIS threads were swamped by lots of AN and BN threads and made BORIS people feel really out of place.

Basically what Sophia has said.

Ironically after the creation of BORIS (hehe) I still posted in the main ED forum sometimes because the support is a higher amount, I have friends there too. Maybe we need to challenge the view that it's just for AN sufferers, but ALSO hugely challenge the notion they can't help. They can! And they are lovely!

I think if we were streamlining maybe keep each forums long threads ie. Alcoholism support, comfy couch maybe?, messages maybe?. But I think an alcoholism support thread would be good.

This is basically how I feel but explained much better

I feel this encourages misconceptions and segregation, its a bit of a self perpetuating cycle.

Maybe in the description bit it should say 'welcomes anyone troubled by any type of eating distress'

That's a good idea :)

I think that regarding the Binge Eating Disorder sub forum - the main part of the ED board is for ALL eating disorders, separating BED from AN/BN is worse, because it is creating a stigma that those with other ED's to AN/BN cannot post in the general part of the forum, which in reality, they can.

To me, the title is very general, it includes all eating disorders, so if one was pointed out in particular, it may distance other ED's from the board, and make it about just one ED particularly.

I think there should be still the comfy couch thread, if that is where all the main support is going on, but in the general ED board, and remove the BED sub forum, if it's that quiet and not being used appropriately.

It doesn't mean people are excluding those who have BED and other ED's, the whole point of an eating disorder support board is that it includes ALL eating disorders, those who suffer with AN, BN, BED, Overeating disorder, and other lesser known eating disorders.

If you focus on one particular eating disorder, you're sending the wrong message, and creating more stigma/misconceptions about eating disorders in general.

All eating disorders are just as important as the next, and FYI, those with BN binge, those with AN subtype B/Ping binge, so it's not as if those with AN/BN don't understand what binging is like... so posting in the main part of the forum regarding binging, or BED, would be fully accepted and understood and related to, and if anything, would make everyone feel like they aren't alone with binging and the difficulties that come alongside it.

I think it's a big decision if you are to take away the sub forum, it may upset people, but eventually, hopefully those people will feel comfortable posting in the main board, and feel less vulnerable doing so, considering we are all struggling with similar problems.

I do understand why it was created in the first place, I remember a lot of angst and anger and upset and such regarding it, the thread being very heated, but say it was taken away, what would be so bad about that? It means joining in with the main board, and becoming part of that board, understanding the difficulties that people face with binging, because those with BN - a criteria for that is binging, those with AN subtype B/Ping definitely understand binging, so what exactly is the problem with posting in that board when people already post about binging there anyway??

Just my two cents.

I would consider every board a quiet board nowadays.

/unhelpful reply.

<3

I discovered in group therapy that the one i related to the most was a young woman who overate in spite me being very anorexic at the time. Who both learned a hell of a lot from each other. As it is, eating disorders are just a symptom of other underlying problems. It would be like me demanding a forum for schizophrenia only because those with personality disorders cant possibly understand what i go through snd because im a minority in comparison, it would make me uncomfortable posting.

I find that when talking to people with all kinds of eating disorders, the feelibgs connected to food are often the same, whatever the actual behavior is. Its the same guilt, same obsession, same self hatred, same lack of control etc. I actually feel quite hurt when reading people say that they wouldnt post in there because clearly we wont understand or it would make you uncomfortable. If it does that and not due to people being unsupportive then surely thats a personal issue to be challenged rather than generally encouraged. I dont see a reason why its healthy to exclude a large group of people that may relate and support simply because the behavior or weight or whatever is different. Also i dont find it healthy to single out a certain group of people that are singled out elsewhere as well, even with the best intentions.

Ive also noticed that it really doesnt seem like binge eating is a minority here anymore. It was back when the sub forum was made yes but now its often the same people postibg in ed forum and several of those are with binge issues. Its also no longer about posting the lowest bmi and weight and being generally competitive about being skinniestband eating less and so on which was problematic especially if yours wasnt low enough as it seemed to often be rhose who recieved the most support back then.

I think with the forums being as quiet as they are and things having changed, it would be best. It may take away some safety for those who use the binge forum but that can be worked on and if people are kind and give support to all, it should be no problem. Of course all change can be scary but it doesnt mean it continues to be.

And maybe keep an open mind about whether others can actually help or not instead of just assuming an anorexic or bulimic or someone with another ed entirely cannot relate. Because that is likely a misconception or even a bit of a prejudice in the head of an individual.

I also find the whole, oh this and that forum can EASILY be removed but dont touch this forum cause then we feel uncomfortable a bit troublesome. Especially when its moving just as slow as the other mentioned and the support is mainly in one specific thread that can be moved. It may be that others feel similar about the forums that you mean could easily go. Its all about what issues you have and where you post. I think it would probably be best to make the changes by looking at which forums are used the least rather than by who screams the loudest.

But yes, i am in general all for reconsidering the forums and how they are put together.
Was also thinking vets perhaps did not need two forums but rather one with more specific labeling such as "general chat" "support thread" and "graphic" etc. So that the vets can choose the threads they want to read accordingly to what they can cope with still and not get triggered but having more active forum in general.

I fully support streamlining.

BORIS is barely used now with the exception of the comfy couch, so that sticky can easily be moved over to the main ED board. Plus, as has been mentioned by many people, it's important not to segregate eating issues which can make those who overeat and binge feel on the outside of things. Binging and overeating is experienced by many many people including those diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia and so lots of people will be able to relate and offer support.

The 2 vets boards can be merged into 1 as Morpheus suggested.

I think substance abuse can be merged with self injury discussion, and grief and trauma can be merged with serious.

But streamlining boards is only half of the issue. RYL has lost its sense of community over the years and until this returns then its going to be kind of empty and quiet. Some threads barely get any replied regardless of what forum they're posted in, so maybe when you're replying to threads just look out for those with 0, 1, 2 replies and just give a little support even if it's a "thinking of you" type message because that can mean a lot to someone who feels lonely.

I wonder about general chat too. To me it feels incredibly slow (I'm used to there being 2 or 3 pages of threads per day being posted there) and more and more quiz/game type threads get posted in GC so I wondered if it can be merged with the fun and distractions forum.

what if maybe one trhead could be on multiple obards but still be just one thread?

I love BORIS and was also very much pro having a separate over eating board, but it's now just not used as it used to be. I think changing the forum description would be helpful and bringing things back together could be helpful. I know that I personally had lots of issues with feeling that what I was experiencing was not post-worthy in a forum where people had 'real' illnesses, so a more wide ranging explanation would help, if that makes sense? I no longer think a sub-forum is helpful.

I don't know what's for the best in relation to the my sub-boards as they are under used, but I don't know where else they'd fit.

Sorry, unhelpful response!

I agree that SI and ED boards should not be merged.

A lot of grief posts already end up in Serious anyway so it would probably go there.

Would it be renaming the forum or just getting rid of these sub forums and seeing where things go?

Also I don't think fun and distractions should go with General, at least in general you can have a discussion but FandD is just counting or surveys etc

I think Ryl is much older so there is less need for vets so I'd close it down

One board for eating issues
One board for self injury
One board for serious
One board for GSA
One board for mental health
R and v kept as is
A and b kept
First aid kept

Most threads should fit into these etc!

I'm pretty much in agreement with Cam on this one. At the moment the boards are too divided - like Jenna said, we don't have separate boards for all of the various MH problems so it seems silly to have so many different ones currently. Plus, any active threads in any of the current subforums can simply be moved, so it's not like they'd be lost.

Agreed.

Vets as a whole definitely needs to be kept. It's not so much about age, but there is a different mood there. However, merging vets general and support has been talked about SO much, maybe we should just do it and see what happens?!

I have views on several things with RYL but I'm just going to keep this to the FAF. We could have a private board for FA, potentially, though I don't know how the technical side would work, but I don't think it would really be used that much and if it were I don't think as many members would get as much out as it as they have in the past or even do now. This isn't about workload or anything like that or the amount of time spent with FA in the past, personally I wouldn't mind it being changed and am open to suggestions. However, 1 thing I have had a LOT of in the past, along with past FA Team staff members is people saying how much we helped them not through our articles or through answering any of their threads but by them being able to see past threads and current ones. They've looked through there and gained info which they've needed there and then (often via searching) or have read stuff that's needed in a later date. It has been suggested before that we make it a private forum like R&V is as well as the picture thread etc but then we miss out on the people who are scared to join up and have read the advice given. We will not give advice to non members personally but we feel our advice should be made available to them. This is more the case with SH/ED related stuff and doesn't really correspond as well with the "General Medical" categories but then should they really be on the FAF? They didn't used to be not long before I joined the team and when V3 started but then that's a whole different arguement for different reasons.

We do give personal advice already in private and it remains confidential. This is via PM'ing any member of the team and whoever you PM will get back to you ASAP. You can also PM multiple members of the team which may give you a faster response. We do also still have our email address though we don't like using it and though I have been checking it more frequently recently it's still not daily and I don't get alerts through like I do with PMs. It's never going to take over that and personally I don't like using it and as a team our stance is always away from using it but it does exst and we can't ignore that.

One thing that's been bounded around for years is whether we open a unified First Aid 'user' and do most of our PMs through this so people PM 'FA' (or whatever the name would be) and then one of us will answer it asap. This has yet to happen but if there is demand for it we can look into it logistically but then we'd still have the problem that it's unlikely that we could all get email alerts from it. The other possibility which has been looked into in the past is us having access to Live Help but due to the personal commitments of the Team I don't think this would work at present, I don't think it ever really will, and also there would habe to be work to separate it between the supporters on there. The only reason I mention this is to show that there are other things that have been brought up in the past and are still currently thought about and so it's not static. Another possibility is the board looking/ acting differently from the rest but I'm unsure how that would work and actually may not in the way threads currently are in the FAF.

The board being available for all to see is really in the best interests of the majority of the users however, I would back anyone who felt that if a way was possible people could ask for advice anonymously however for it to work this probably would need the FA Team to be able to see the username of the poster for each and also this would potentially also have to be the case that forum mods saw the names too.

I agree with Cam, though potentially keepings vets and merging the 2 boards together.

I'd support the two ED boards being merged too.I think people can offer valid advice whether the issue is predominantly undereating or overeating, there are common emotional aspects to both disorders. I would certainly try to offer support to threads regarding binge eating just as much as I would any threads about restricting, whereas at the moment I never really look in the BORIS sub-forum.

I'd support the merging of the substance abuse and grief/trauma forums too. Personally when I experienced bereavement I chose to post in Serious rather than grief/trauma, partly because you get more responses there but also, it was Serious, I needed support then more than over, so it fits in. I think a lot of people get support for illnesses/bereavement in General Support too, so I don't think the grief/trauma forum is particularly necessary as it is.

might bew a stupid idea, but what if the ED forums name was changed to "food and body issues" or something like that. Just something that is a bit more vauge and sort of open

I disagree with the name being changed. For reasons that I've already posted, but yeah.

I think a name change would be good, or at least an updated board description.

I think it can be hard for members to post sometimes if they don't have a diagnosed eating disorder. Sometimes that can be extra hard for people who struggle with overeating because, although, BED etc., is an eating disorder, it often isn't really viewed that way. I feel like a more open title might make things a bit easier for some people.

eta: I really like the suggestion of "Food and Body Issues" or something along those lines. :)

I can see your opinion/point of view regarding name change, maybe something like "Eating Difficulties Support"? Keep it simple, and it is for everything eating related, including disordered eating, eating disorders, and binging is included in that.

Regarding the First Aid board, if people are getting a lot of support from older threads, could the current board simply be locked, leaving the other threads there for viewing purposes only? If anyone needs advice they can PM the appropriate person.

I would merge Vets with the rest of the board (ie, get rid of it). It seems really slow moving, and I really don't see what is so different about it anymore. Plus, it always causes confusion for newer members as to just what a 'Veteran' is.

Similarly, I would remove the Substance Abuse and Grief boards, as both of those topics get covered elsewhere.

Abuse and Bullying is a tough one. I've always though it to be quite imbalanced in that most people would consider abuse (particularly of a sexual nature) to be on a different level to bullying. Of course, it doesn't have to be, but I would think that it would be difficult to post in that board if you didn't think your run-of-the-mill-bullying post was as important as the one below about regular sexual abuse. I'd probably remove the bullying aspect and suggest that goes into GSA.

It might seem that a lot of threads are going to spring up in GSA, but that is not necessarily a bad thing, as most of the traffic will be concentrated in one area, rather than spread around the site and so support levels might increase as well.

I'm not sure if I've missed something, but why would we need to lock FA? Especially if it's still going to be visible it might as well be open! Even though a lot of support can be gained from old threads, it doesn't mean every possible scenario has already been covered. Threads have the advantage over PMs in that you can get a whole range of ideas and experiences and can get really quick replies from other members if none of the FA team happen to be online.

I liked Cam's suggestions, although I personally would hope that Moving Forward would stay too, as I think it's a really important board.

I agree with Jenna. It's not just old threads that can help people but current ones too especially as they're more up to date especially with wound care advice. The FA Team, like the other staff members on RYL, are volunteers and often RYL isn't the only thing we have going on in our lives and so we also value users responses on the forum and many of these are valuable. I don't see any reason why this should be stopped. This thread is regarding RYL boards becoming quiet, surely doing this will just make another part of RYL, that is already MUCH quieter than it used to be, appear to be inactive, even if it's still going on in private. Also many users who post on the FAF don't want to bother us with PMs or want a response from as many people as possible, locking FA will not help this and potentially only increase the workload for the team in some ways, mean we have to check much more often and the users get a more polarised view so I don't know how this would help RYL as as far as I'm aware there are no major problems with the FAF as it currently stands and new members would probably find it more daunting PMing someone (even if they knew who and how to) rather than post a thread.

The FAF is not an elitist board where only the FA team are allowed to post/ only their advice should be taken into account, anyone is allowed to give advice within the rules and not allowing this would only cause further alienation and reduce the community feeling further.

To be honest, I'd probably get rid of the FAF altogether. Most of the replies I see seem to be 'go to a doctor' and it would stop any questionable advice being given. Also, the vast majority of advice can already be readily accessible both on the site and elsewhere on the internet.

But that's my opinion, probably not going to popular.

I must say I agree, although I acknowledge the hard work that the first aid advisors give, my experience is much the same that it is often being told to go to a hospital or doctor, or people posting conditions they are already getting help for, etc.

That said, I haven't been in there for a while so my view may not be an accurate representation. It would still be great to keep the first aid advisors but maybe in a different capacity, like emails.

I don't think closing FA would reduce people asking for medical advice.
Instead, they would just be all over the forums distributed. between SI, ED and GSA. This way we at least have them in one place which makes it easier for the FA team to keep an eye on the advice given by members etc.

I agree that for a majority of the threads answers could be found by reading the stickies or using Google. But what makes people think members will genuinely start doing that if the board were to be closed?

Carmen makes a good point. I do agree that a lot of things posted on the FA could probably be answered on google/looking at olds threads or by just assuming the advice will be to go to see a doctor, but a) sometimes people need that personalised response to assure them that they're not over-reacting and b) there are lots of different ways to seek medical advice and it can be helpful to signpost people so they know whether a pharmacist, nurse, GP, 111, out-of-hours GP, A&E or an ambulance would be the best course of action.

Yep, it's been a long standing thing if you look through this forum that the advice given on FA could be found elsewhere and/ or the people should go to the doctor but, as said, we're not designed for anything but sign posting where people should go for general medical advice apart from giving the basics and this is what many people want and as Carmen says, a lot of people feel comfort in the justification that it is serious enough for a doctor or whatever. You could argue the same point with MH Discussion, people post in there asking for advice when really only their Dr/ a mental health professional in person can give that advice.

I'm not against re-looking at the FAF but email wouldn't work as well as it does for the supporters for a number of reasons (1 being that we have no clue whether the person behind the email is a RYL user or not and we only give advice to users) which is where the unified PM account would come in but this would potentially be one more thing to be forgotten and also you lose the forum feel of other users replying as there are times when all members of the team cannot get online properly for a couple of days apart from a quick check of their PMs. The FAF is by far not the quietest of boards, in fact though it may not always have a thread in a day of even a couple of days (compared to approx 4+ new threads/day in its height) but when you glance down the forum view it does usually have a much higher number of people viewing than any other, sometimes any other in total and I feel that must tell us something. People like the personalised touch which is why it's still going and as said, if not threads would just be posted elsewhere creating a larger workload (they still get moved to the FAF from SI/ SD/ GSA/ ED and occasionally MH to make life easier for users at the moment and so that will only worsen as people won't stop posting, they'll just post them elsewhere) and more threads will be missed. Everything in FA is checked by myself and/ or another member of the team even if we don't reply (as good quality user replies mean we don't always need to) but this can't be guaranteed if the posts are elsewhere which increases their risk of inaccurately and even dangerous information not just going to the member asking for the advice but a much greater number of the community and potentially members further afield.

Couldn't people get that support and advice from a normal support thread? Anyone can signpost and no one should be giving medical information/advice anyway. So if something gets posted in another board and there is advice being given (which no doubt happens already...) it can be reported, otherwise the poster can get the support they want/need that way.

The FAF, from my viewing anyway, seems to have a lot of general medical questions, which I don't think was ever the remit of the board. Some people seem to use it as an alternative to a medical professional.

In my opinion there just shouldn't be any medical advice being given by anyone on this website. The stock answer should be "no one here can give you that advice, you really need to see a doctor/medical professional".

Yes - RYL seems like a Highclere Castle (Downtown Abbey estate) existing as a waning dinosaur whose past looms larger than its present or future. If only a few people live in a large edifice, and the staff has thinned, you cover the furniture, close rooms off etc. I think RYL needed to contract a long time ago. The "age of the forum" isn't what it used to be with all the "new" social sites, apps etc.

As I recall, adding forums wasn't just a way to focus on more topics but to disperse energy and cut down on conflicts back when RYL was constantly contentious. That was 10 years ago. Now dispersing energy just backfires.

I understood the reasons for Vets "back in the day" (when most members were 14) but on the flip side it also separated people with experience from younger people seeking some. "Serious" was never quite the same after two Vet forums came to be.

Grief forum topics can easily go in Serious. "Looking Forward" seemed to siphon off any positive vibes that used to come up in darker forums that just became exclusively dark.

First Aid forum I gave up on a long time ago because you could barely make a post in reply there. The atmosphere was tight and defensive. No reason for a site to put itself on edge like that. At one time when "Live Help" and First Aid came around it was like RYL was incorporating its own cyber A&E. I thought it was a well meaning "bridge too far" that stressed people out (I knew members who were failing school but staying up all night doing Live Help).

While I would prune all the extra forums, I would also restore an "Anything Goes" type forum because RYL got too burdened with Byzantine rules, points, bubble wrap etc. If RYL began as what it became after 2005 it would never have grown. Its easy to have a good reason to make a thread or post but its even easier to come up with more reasons not too - most of them trivial but they get the leverage on their side