Tig (Lottie) needs our help.
 

Hello,
I've made this thread for support for Lottie (Tig). She's struggling a lot and won't let people know incase she burdens them- which isn't true. I am worried about our Lottie as she is one of the first people to help others out as she has a big heart but this time; I think Lottie needs a safe place to vent and seek help from others without her being able to delete thread as she's scared.

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Lottie,
You are so amazing and deserve to be loved. Things with G haven't been good but that isn't your fault it's his on away as he's very naive about mh. Things can and will get better. You've come so far in the amount of time I have known you. Please keep strong and I hope crisis team is okay tonight and maybe consider their proposal. Love you x

I know we talk a lot via text and I know the situation right now but please keep fighting my twinny xxxx

You can get through this I believe in you

I love you so so much
Always here xxxxx

(I hope you do manage to get a bed as you of all people deserve the support and help)
Much love all the love in the world and then some :)
Xxxxxxxx

Lottie you deserve to get support I hope you can use this space here to safely seek it. We are all here for you and cherish you very much xxxxx

Lottie, you easily go down as one of the most lovely, kind hearted and gentle people I know, and you deserve that kindness and care you show others so often too.

Take whatever support you need right now, and know we are right behind you *hugs*

Lottie,

You're amazing and so lovely. You're always supporting others and you deserve support as well <3

We all care about you here and I hope you're able to talk here when you feel ready.

x x x

We don't talk a lot, but I hope you're doing okay. The lyrics in my signature I've dedicated to everyone on RYL, even you. I hope those words will lift your spirits. <3

I don't no you but I hope you are ok -hugs-

Lottie it is okay to reach out to us for support. We are all here for when you feel ready to talk. Sending lots of love and hugs

Lottie, you are an amazingly beautiful person, and you have such a kind heart for everything. My signature... You are one of the angels people look or, and you help them more than you could ever know!

*hugs*

Lottie, you are amazing. You always help everyone on here. Please remember you need help yourself. If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me. Sending you much needed hugs.

Love from MEERA xx

Please let us be here for you, post here, anytime you like, I know it's difficult to reach out, especially since I know you hate doing so, but you DESERVE the support and help, more than anyone else I have ever known, and I've known you for so many years now, so please please please reach out and let us be there for you.
xxxxx

I love you my amazing twinny.
xxxxxxx

Lottie, I am really sorry things are so bad right now. You are such a kind and helpful person you really do deserve more kindness and support.

Thank you everybody for all your kind words and thank you very much Fire Fly for starting the thread <3 I'm so sorry I've only just seen it now. Had my head in the clouds today I think.

I really appreciate all your kind words and support.

I've been struggling a lot and finding it very difficult to open up. I'm not quite sure what stops me but it all feels very complicated. I feel ashamed of myself when I say I feel bad because lately people had been proud of me for doing well.

I'm waiting on the crisis team now but I'm terrified as it usually doesn't go too well.

xx

Oh Lottie, I'm so sorry things aren't going well for you.
I hope the crisis team are useful.
You are such an amazing, kind-hearted and caring person. We all want to be here for you.
You're in my thoughts lovely xx

Hi lottie it's been a few hours now how did the crisis team go?

Thinking of you xxxxx

It went very badly. They spent a lot of the time having a go at me because they had heard from my care co-ordinator that I had previously found them unhelpful. Everything I had said was taken out of context, for example I gave them compliments as well as saying they were issues but they were really awful with me tonight.

When I started crying, they laughed and said they'd be back tomorrow to make me cry again.

I didn't find that very funny at all but maybe I'm just being sensitive.

Thank you for asking and thank you Emma too for your message xx

I'm really sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. That sounds awful the way they spoke to you. Would it be possible to have someone with you – a friend or relative – the next time, who could make sure they don't talk in that way?
Big hugs xx

I'm sorry to hear they were so crap Lottie.

Not got many words, but I just wanted to let you know that I care about you very much, you're so strong and kind and lovely. Xxx

Ahhhh, that's really awful of them and as a support worker in disabilities it honestly makes me feel ashamed when I hear crisis teams and such not see the extreme effort it takes to get through each day let alone reach out for help. Perhaps in this, while you might be sensitive when so much is going on they should be understanding of this. Thinking of you Lottie and really hoping you can get some support- you deserve it so much and it's wrong of them not to consider you and the whole picture of what you've said. It should be your choice what you need

Hey honey,

That sounds absolutely awful of them! It's completely unfair for them to have said something like that to you. I think it's perfectly valid for you to have been upset and I don't think it's being too sensitive at all.

Is there anyone else you can speak to about things? Your CC or someone else from your team?

You are so very amazing Lottie and you deserve so much more than feeling like this <3

x x x

I definitely don't think you're being sensitive; that was a really unkind thing for them to say.

Do you think the crisis team can offer anything of use to you, or are they making things worse generally?

I'm so sorry you're struggling and I hope that things improve for you soon.

You say you feel ashamed about saying that you don't feel great because people have been proud of you for doing so well, but isn't admitting when you're struggling and asking for help part of recovery? I imagine those same people would be proud of you for being open as well :)

I am sorry to hear it didn't go well with the crisis team, the way they treated you was unfair and not right. You have nothing to be ashamed of, it is okay to ask for help. You don't always have to be strong. In fact it takes alot of strength and courage to admit that things aren't okay. Keep talking to us lovely <3

Thank you everyone.

Sorry I haven't replied earlier in the day. It's been very difficult and spent a lot of time hibernating but think it was possibly the safest thing for me to do.

I saw the crisis team again tonight and they were a bit nicer. She seemed more aware of how low I was feeling and the potential risk. So I suppose I at least feel more reassured that if I need to call somebody tonight [up til midnight] I can call her.

With my care co-ordinator, she has basically told me she doesn't have the experience to care for me or has no idea what to do so unfortunately she isn't somebody I can talk to. When I try, she shuts me down.

xx

Could you try to change CCs?
I wonder if there are things that she could be doing to be more helpful, and if so, if you could tell her so that she could try those things?

I know this probably sounds ridiculous but it is sadly true, there are no other CC's to swap to. I've spoken to my therapist about it and she looked in to it but because it's such a small team, there is nobody else. Some of them aren't willing to take me on because of my complex history and the rest have too many people on.

I've tried to speak to the current CC about what would be helpful but she tends to just stay quiet or change the subject.

I really feel sorry for her. I know I'm a difficult patient with a complex past and it must be frightening for her, especially if she doesn't have the experience. So it's hard because I like her as a person - she just can't do her job with me!

It sounds frustrating, but I think Wales is a bit more rural and sadly there is often poorer care in rural area because there are less staff/resources to swap with. Do you think it would help if you wrote stuff down?

It's certainly very true unfortunately!

I have written for my CC but she found it awkward and replied with "I don't know what to say".
However, in general I think I need to start writing more anyway. Even if it isn't being shown to anybody because I think lately I've had a tendency to hide everything that's going on, even from myself if that makes sense, so perhaps writing more again would be a bit of a release.

Lottie messaged you fb but I am always here for you. Love you lots x

Thank you <3 xxx

I'm sorry tig that sounds tough. Low on words but thinking of you.

How has today been Lottie?

Thinking of you <3 and I'm always around if you need to talk.

x x x

Hi Lotti,

Sorry to hear you are struggling.
If you ever need to talk, I am only a message away..

Claire..

Today has been a little bit better thank you. Things have felt more manageable and I've managed to do most the chores that needed to do which helped me feel more productive.

Just trying to focus on keeping busy but not too busy if that makes sense?

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, it means a lot.

xxx

Oh Lottie, I'm sorry things are so difficult at the moment. You are such a kind, lovely person and you do not deserve any of this.

I'm glad things are a little more manageable today and you've managed to get some things done. Are you able to try to do nice things for yourself as well?

Sending lots of love xxx

My Twinny <3

The crisis team were absolutely disgusting towards you. I would report them, however I understand you are scared to do that in case of the reaction towards you for it, but I still think there should be consequences for their actions, especially considering the way they treated you.

I am glad that the next meeting with crisis went well, and that you can call them should you need support, which I think is a very good idea.

Maybe email support sites too if you feel unable to do so verbally? May help to have that kind of support?

Would it be possible to be referred to a different service maybe? If your service is unable to change to someone else?

I know you are going through so much right now, but please keep fighting, and keep going, you can get through this, I know it.

I love you.
xxxxxxx

Thinking of you Lottie.

I find the crisis team to be hit and miss really. When I see them there are a couple of people who are really supportive and understand me, and the rest make me feel upset and frustrated because they demand things from me that I can't do, or dismiss how I'm feeling and suggest everything would be fine if only I did x, y or z.

It's great that you find writing a release- maybe you could carry a journal with you and write about things you notice, what comes into your head etc. My CC told me that if I wanted to write about something painful and didn't want it to seem to real then I could rip it up after and throw it away.

I don't know how it works where you live, but years ago when the only consultant psychiatrist at my CMHT made me cry and insulted me I put in a formal complaint about him and requested to see a different psychiatrist. Because he was the only consultant for my area I was referred to a consultant in the next area across, about 30 minutes away. I saw him regularly and he kept my team updated. Could you ask about something like that, except with a new CC/CPN?

Lottie,

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this hard time at the moment. I have not had a fabulous time with my local crisis team so I know how you feel. Please don't feel like you cannot reach out for help. Like all the other people that have posted on this tread, we all care a lot about you and we are here if you need us. Don't take the crisis teams attitude to heart, they are not very sensitive when they really need to be.

Sending you hugs and support

Steph

*bumps*

I think Lottie could use some support right now ♡

Lottie, I'm really sorry things are so bad right now.
I hope you're able to talk if you need to.

Thank you Katie for bumping this and thank you everybody for all your previous replies and Soph.

I'm sorry I haven't been very good at updating this. I'm finding it very hard to reach out to people at the moment and keeping up with text messages and facebook etc has become really hard which I hate because people are trying so hard and I am failing.

Things are not good at all and I'm struggling so much. I was in hospital over the weekend but it didn't go well at all. I was discharged with the crisis team but when my on/off partner came back, they decided to discharge me saying that he could keep me safe which isn't true at all. He's asleep in my room and I'm sitting in the living room completely alone and we don't talk at all.

I tried to explain to the crisis team I didn't think it was a good idea and that I also felt it was a bit unfair because other people have families etc but still receive crisis support, yet for me it almost felt like I was being penalised for allowing him back. They just shrugged.

I have no 'tools' in the house tonight so technically I am safe for now but I don't feel safe. I feel desperate and disgusting and so, so dirty.

Stuff has happened that is compounding this but I feel like the professionals don't want to know and talking to people who aren't professionals isn't a great option as it's pretty traumatic stuff and it's not fair to them to hear this sort of thing.

I'm sorry for rambling on. x

I don't think anyone thinks you are 'failing' for not responding on Facebook or to text messages, it can be hard to keep up at the best of times never mind when you are struggling with things.

I'm sorry you are experiencing difficulties with your team.

I think you said before about being somewhere quite rural? I expect that can be quite frustrating as it limits the support you can access.

Take care.

Thanks Becca.

It is a very rural area which is frustrating because trying to access a different team or service isn't possible. I tried in the past but it was a 90 minute journey in car to the next CMHT area and I don't drive so was 2.5 hours on the bus which made it impossible.

I'm going to try and speak to the Nurse at my GP surgery today if she asks how things are and see if I can maybe see my GP a bit sooner.

I hope the nurse appointment went well and you can see your gp sooner.

I hadn't realised exactly how rural rural was for you! I've no idea what to suggest other than to continue posting here, when you are able, so we can support you through this.

Lottie you have helped me but just remember we are all here to help each other
xx always here for you :)xx

Love you Lottie.x

Thanks lovelies.

The nurse was good but there were no appointments with GP. Luckily I have my therapist tomorrow.

x

Thanks Ames <3

I'm struggling quite a lot even though my partner is here. Things just seem to be drifting along.

I managed to hurt myself a bit but I'm trying hard not too.

Will be honest with therapist tomorrow. x