What would your computer tell you if it could talk?
 

Wouldn't it be great if all our computers were capable of conversations with us? But what would they say?

Mine would say, "I cost 2500 dollars, was 2011's most advanced engine, and have two terrabytes of memory, and you spend 98% of your time with me SURFING THE INTERNET?!! Design some CGI or something!"

Mine would say "hook me up with EmmaChristine's computer"

Mine would realize you just made this thread to brag about your computer.

"Why am I always on the floor?"

"Don't worry, what you've Googled stays between us"

Stop leaving me on all the time.....Well if you wont listen then Im just going to randomly switch off when youre doing something important. ENJOY!

"Stop calling me baby and stop stroking me when I have a hissy fit"

This too! Hahaha.

"Stop procrastinating and do your university work"

'porn again? im capable of so much more'

"If you keep kicking me i refuse to work"

Pornography is illegal in Korea, so everything is blocked. I'M SO SAD.

Mine would probably say "Please let me retire, I'm too old to still be working. Also, you have awful internet whcih doesn't work and you all moan at me all the time."

"Get me out of the attic"

I feel rejected ever since you got that new phone. Lonely...I'm just so lonely...

^ Haha, mine may chuck that one in too..

Your dog is trying to kill me. PROTECT ME.

Beat me to it.

These are amazing. :)

Enjoying this thread very much!

Mine would probably say "REALLY?? Seven million tabs open ALL the days? And stop nomming over me, my keyboard doesn't like cookies".

All your computers do talk to you, but none of you understand. Poor computers *feeds them RAM*

"Stop Googling illnesses and thinking you have them".

"Cracked.com and RYL aren't the best places to research stuff for your history essay. Stop procrastinating."

^heh, I do enjoy Cracked.com, Conor.

*mumble mumble*

shhhhhhh computer...you know too much about me for me to risk taking the gag off.....

>.>
<.<

Why do you insist on using me as a table for your nail varnish, tea, sandwhich? And antibacterial gel is not good for my health.

These are making me giggle.

no wonder you are a broken man.

It would tell me I jack off far to much

"Seriously....facebook....that is NOT what you are supposed to be doing!!"

'Clean me! And do some work.'

Also - "please give me a good dusting and delete the crap you don't use 'cause I'm just feeling too weighed down bruv".

^ 'bruv'! Is your laptop a gangster Zed?

Mine would say - Ohhh god u again!!! :)

I have HD and a wide screen, can you please be normal and get some porn on that?

Mine would say "stop swearing at me when you feel I'm being far too slow and when the internet cuts off. What would your mother say about that potty mouth of yours!"

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kV7ou6pl5wU&feature=related"]The internet is for porn [HD] [SUBTITLED] - YouTube[/ame]

LOVE Avenue Q.

I've not seen it but I've heard the songs. :)

their videos are rather entertaining!

I just had to add another one: "Please get my tower an actual desk rather than propping my up with Styrofoam"

"I've made this perfectly clear on multiple occasions: I don't LIKE coffee! It makes me go all funny, and then you get mad at me and hit me and then send me away to be fiddled with by nerds. Save us both the humiliation and stop forcing me to drink stuff!!"

mine would say : i am so tired please turn me off for god's sake

Mine would say "Please stop eating biscuits near me, the crumbs get stuck in my keys and it's itchy." Must be a bit like eating in bed... blurgh

"Get off that filth you dirty mare AND DON'T YOU DARE CLICK THAT... How dare you." :P

And:

"I'm backin' up, backin' up, backin' up."

I hope people get that one. :P

Cos my daddy taught me good?

"You have the entire internet to play on and yet you surf the same 20 sites all day long. Loser!!!"

I think my computer is jelous of my old one.

"Love me more, not him. I'm the one that works."

Mine would say, "stop drooling over Bill Kaulitz all the time!"