Being Admitted to Maudsley.
 

Well, what it says on the tin, really :/

I'm being admitted as an inpatient ASAP, so potentially tomorrow.

Anyone been there? Any advice?

Any conseridations I should take when packing? (I've been in an adolescents psych unit before, so I know the basics) How is the food? Daily routine and activities?

Sorry, I'm just in mega panic mode right now....

I've not been there myself, but my friend has and she is now fully fully recovered in every which way :-)

It's meant to be a good unit. They have a brochure thing online that you can google - I nearly got referred there recently.

Re things to take... Take comfy clothes that you can relax in. Layers too - I tend to find units really overheated, but you can get cold sitting around. However also take some things that you feel good in - I think it's nice to dress nicely and helps you keep a positive mood?

Take lots of things to keep you busy. Laptop and DVDs and Internet dongle. Craft stuff. Knitting? Books. Letter paper and stamps - this my just be me but I always post lots when ip.

I always take in lots of photos of friends, family and things I love doing/places I love to visit. I stick these all over my wall, to keep me focused. At times I have also printed off supportive positive messages from friends, and recovery focused quotes etc.

Good luck. You're bound to be scared. But I hope this provides you with the opportunity to get your life back xxx

Not been there myself but having a fair amount of experience in patient, definitely take in a lot of things to entertain yourself with e.g puzzle books and so on.

As said taking in motivational pictures such as those of your loved ones may help.

I always find having a diary in hospital is a good way to cope and let off steam and use up some time but that might just be me.

I appreciate it can be really scary going into an inpatient unit but Maudsley has a great reputation and in most of these places it seems to be that if you are willing to put a lot in you can get a lot out of it.

Thank you for the replies :)

Just been to get a few books and some PJs and slippers etc. I'm not sure whether phones/laptops are allowed, can someone clear this up if you know...?

I know that Maudsley has a good reputation and all, but I am in no way wanting recovery at the moment, which I know will make things a little difficult. I just can't seem to flip that switch, if you know what I mean.

Thanks for the advice and support x

I don't know about the phones or laptops, if its an adolescent ward, restrictions are usually greater on such items, and I would ring the ward and ask.

In adult wards the rules can vary a lot, but you should be allowed some phone time and if you have a dongle there is probably an allowance for this too but to be sure, I would ask if you can.

Is there no way you can leave these items behind and try and settle onto the ward as a first prioity? Could someone bring these things up in a week or so when you have found out if you are allowed them and if they would fit in with the programme?

I gather you feel your not ready for recovery, but the Maudsley is a very good hospital, it may be one of, if not, the only good chance you have to recover with support on hand at the same time.

Go in with an open mind at least, your team clearly feel you need to be there and could benefit. Maybe begin by talking with staff about what you feel is holding you back and consider the pros and cons of changing as well as the pros and cons of not changing. I dont believe, from personal experience, that there is a switch, its a case of, do I want to live like this 5-10 years down the line, and if not, the only way forward is to DO something active to make the future different, because EDs keep people stationary at best, and rolling down a hill backwards to your death at worst.

I hope you can find support and decide this place is not the one you want to be in years down the line.

Err, so, I'm going today. In 2 hours.
-Panic attack-

Good Luck hun! They're amazing there, I was only OP, but still, I couldn't fault them one bit. ! I hope it works out well for you. xx

Hope things go okay for you in there and you manage to utilise the help offered.

Hey

Sorry i didnt see this earlier.

i know from reading your threads that things have been really tough for you recently and though i know your not sure your ready for recovery im really glad youve got this opportunity and rooting for you!

It must be so scary to go but you are doing the best thing to give it a try and i really hope it helps/you find some benefit from it.

Thinking of you lots.

Please let us know how are you/how the settling in goes when you can/want to [though obviously i know focusing on your treatment there has to come as a priority first.]

Know we are all here for you.

xx xx

Hope all goes well and even if you dont recover you can make progress x

Hope it's all going okay <3

xxx

Wow thanks for the support guys x

As for how it's going... well, meh. I don't belong here; my BMI is much higher than everyone elses, and I don't find the concept of eating meals in a structured environment challenging. I haven't binged or purged, and I've eaten everything so far. My potassium is probably up already (hypokalemia was the main reason for the admission) and I just don't think I need to be here... I'm not here to gain weight, and that has been agreed with the nutritionist and consultant, as well as my OP team.

I feel pretty rubbishy, but I don't feel I can trust the staff. I'm just focussing on eating and getting what they call 'stable'. Not really talking to other patients.

I'm NOT missing another year of college for this.

Have you tried speaking to the staff about what they think, and what they think you goals are, and the 'point' of you being there?

ED unit places are far a few between, and I don't think you would be there unless you absolutely had to be.

I'm guessing distance-studying isn't an option (say, learning the syllabus from books)?

The 'point' of me being here is medical stabilisation, with no view to weight gain or recovery... I see the consltant tomorrow, so I guess I'll talk about it then.

I'm feeling very unsafe. One patient has been screaming her head off since I got here. This isn't a safe place.

Plus, I'm getting some exam results tomorrow. Not helping to be honest. And I found out that an ex-teacher of mine has committed suicide in a psych unit. And just everything seems to be going to ****.

Distance studying isn't an option; physically going to college, uni etc is the only reason I have to be alive right now, and is the only reason I'm complying with the meal plan. I'm getting out of here ASAP... Which isn't for at least 2 weeks as my parents are going on holiday...

I'm sorry you're finding it tough. Hopefully the screaming lady will calm down or tire out or get sedated soon enough.

They wouldn't put you in there unless it was necassary, not at all, so it is important that you're there.

^^ She's been here for well over a year apparantly...

Still not convinced :/ I know I can eat and not binge/purge in this structured kind of environment. But as soon as I get home, I will more than likely go back to it, as I really don't have the motivation to stop myself.
Bleh, sorry for being a pessimistic whinge bag >.<

Not all eating disorder treatment is about recovery and weight gain. Sometimes it is just about keeping people alive.

Talk to the consultant about your concerns x

Medical stabilization is just as, if not more, important than weight gain. Many more people die of complications from EDs than the weight, although complications do occur due to the weight, many are not related to weight at all. Hypokalaemia, is unrelated to weight, but it can kill. A lady I briefly know had a heart attack in her 30s due to her ED/bingepurge behaviours and she was a healthy weight. This is most likely what they are trying to protect you against.

Talk to the hospital about your concerns for when you leave. You do need to be there, and there is a very good reason for your admission.

Many many bulimics die from binge purging, its actually more risky than being underweight for most.

Had my ward round meeting. It was ****.
Basically got told that I'm never going to achieve anything unless I recover, which isn't true. I want to lessen the impact my ED has on my life, not totally get rid of it (yet) but they just don't seem to get it. My OP team do, and I now realise how lucky I am to have them.
And they've actually only just realised that I don't have a problem eating/notpurging when I'm in a hospital environment and the food is given to me, despite me saying that since befre admission -_-
And they're still saying I have to go on the weight gain plan. Working my way upwards, but if I get to too much then I will probably end up purging again. I gained weight at 4 times the normal ate in my last IP admission, and am terrified that it'll happen again.
Bleh, just bleh. Parents aren't impressed either.
I'm planning to self-discharge when they get back from holiday in 2 weeks, and they agree so long as support is in place.

It must be really tough for you. I feel like, in man ways, I'm in a similar place. I've given up thinking I can beat my anorexia, and instead want to learn to manage it in a way that it stops controlling me.

However, that being said, I do kind of get where your team are coming from. I think it's really hard to live like half a life. Half well enough to be out of treatment, but half completely under the thumb of your eating disorder. And being medically unstable is really not safe, and probably affects you more than you know.

I guess they are probably wanting you to do the weight gain because it is proven that b/p behaviours are often much more reduced when at a healthy weight, and eating adequately. And I know that must be hard, when it feels like it isn't what you signed up for.

Just try and keep talking to the team there xx

Thank you everyone xx Sorry for not updating/for bumping the thread

I'm on home leave at the moment. The past week has been nothing short of hell; I honestly can't figure out how the service has a good reputation. I've had multiple medication errors, there is no communication between staff/myself, things are recorded incorrectly all the time (my meal plan, for instance), I've been called aggressive by my primary nurse, and she has yet to really sit down and talk to me, and there are so many members of staff who obviously have given up caring and let people break the rules all the time.

I'm due back Monday afternoon, then have leave again next Sunday until Wednesday, but it is unlikely I'll return. I've become scared of the ward environment; the screaming lady is still losing it most mealtimes and nights to the point where I genuinely don't feel safe. My parents agree that it isn't a good place to be, and agree that I need to be out ASAP.

On the plus side, I've realised just how amazing my OP team are.

Heya it sounds like the place does have alot of negative, but i would still challenge you to look for the positives... ive found with myself in such confronting situations as IP that i tend to focus on the negatives to the exclusion of all positives... You say ", I will more than likely go back to it, as I really don't have the motivation to stop myself." What about your study? it sounds like sometimes you talking and sometimes your ed talking.. i would challenge you to listen to your own reasoning if you can and think, if you leave asap will you be able to manage on your own? What plan do you have in place to be able to continue/start study? I know from experience you can study with an "active" ed but your study will be compromised.. so try as hard as you can to get the good out your admission because like someone else said beds are few and far between and even if its not where you feel you beling there will be many things to get out of the admission... also wanted to say weight doesnt determine how sick/in need of IP you are, your just as deserving/in need as everyone else, although i know it can be tough to believe. xx

hugs to you, i hope it works out for you! focus on getting medical stablisation
sending you lots of hugs

Hi Frostbitten, Im so sorry things are so tough. I have been inpatient there a few years ago and Im now currently with their outpatients. I completely agree with you and I am disappointed to see that the unit hasnt changed much I found the inconsistencies very hard to deal with too. Could you talk to the dietician about how you dont feel ready to fully recover? Im sure if you discuss your concerns they may well support the idea. Sorry rambling. I think you are very brave.Please pm me if you want to chat. Sorry not to be much helpxx

im sorry and sad this has been such a difficult and scary experience for you.i wish i had better words but i am thinking of you.im glad youve realised how good your OP team are though!

im also sorry to hear about your old teacher commiting suicide - that must have been hard to deal with too, especially when you are in such a hard place emotionally yourself and having to cope with so much.Have you been able to talk through your feelings with anyone about what happened there?

i feel this reply is a bit rubbish - wish i could say something better but please keep updating us.

How are things at the unit/home leave going now?Have you talked to your OP team about that you may self discharge and that things dont really seem to be working out?Do you think they may be able to consider other units if this is what yo0u want or do you think you would be better off in the community with your current team now anyway?

im really sorry the unit dont seem to understand about you not being ready to fully recover but wanting to lessen the impact of ED on your life as i personally think this is completely reasonable and a great first step at least - its better than not wanting recovery or anything positive at all and i would of hoped they would have supported it but what do i know hey?!im no expert like they are.It just seems a shame to me they dont understand.

Sending you my very best wishes for now.Keep in touch.

xx xx

Remember only leave the unit until you are mentally and physicaly stable, if you find yourself slipping down please seek help from the nurses and support staff, they will be there for you.