Jodie (Bellatrix)
 

Hi guys,
I'm sorry to have to inform you that Jodie has been admitted to a psych hospital, following a few days in general hospital for an overdose. I don't want to pour out her life story on here, but it suffices to say that she's not doing so well at all, and needs lots of reassurance that it's OK for her to get help and be in hospital and stuff.

I don't know what the plan is yet, because the psych people in hospital seemed to think it was OK not to tell her what was going on, but I shall be marching in there first thing to find out what's going on, and shall update you :)

Jenna.

Jodie- I am so sorry you felt you had to take an OD. You are too precious to me to lose you, so please try to accept any help that you get. You are a wonderful person and an amazing friend, you deserve to get better <3

Jenna, I know this situation is ALL the stressful for you so please make sure to take good care of yourself too <3

Thanks for letting us know. Let Jodie know we're thinking of her and we hope she's okay.

Love you Jodie.
Hopefully they'll let you Know whats going on and this stay will be helpful. You deserve for life to get easier, you deserve to be better.

You are awesome :)

love you jodie <3 thinking of you

[take care of yourself too jenna <3]

Jodie.
I really want to give you a massive hug and scoop you up and look after you and keep all the bad stuff away. If only it worked that way.
Sorry you felt you had to OD, please try and think about the good things in life in the hope that then the bad things will lessen.
I love you lots <3

Jenna pass on my love to her. And also remember to look after yourself!

<3

Thanks for letting us know, Jenna!

Love you Jodie, and I hope you are okay. Thinking of you. <3

Love you Jodie! Huge hugs <3 It's okay to receive/ask for help when we need it, that's what it's there for. Hoping you get better soon lovely

Jenna, thanks for updating us and hope you take care too!

Love you both

Love you Jodie. Look after yourself, let them help you.
xxx

Jodie, you are an amazing person and I'm so sorry you're in this much pain right now, but we are here to help and support you the whole way through. I hope the hospital is able to give you the help and support you need and deserve.
<3
xxx

Jodie, love, I'm so sorry that things are so bad. Please know how much we love you, now and for always. I know that it's scary, but know that getting help is okay and good and right. You deserve to have your life worth living and I believe with all my heart that you will find it. I know words won't help much right now, but you are so special to me.

Jenna, you are an incredible friend and person. Look after yourself, and know that we're all here if ever you should need someone, even just to talk. I love you so much.

<3

Beautiful Jodietrix,
You have been in my thoughts a lot these past few days and I wish I could do more to help you. If you would like a visit, I would be more than happy to come see you. I'm sorry you felt so desperate that you had to overdose but I'm glad you're now in a place where they can keep you safe.

Try and cooperate with them sweetie, I know things feel so scary and confusing but we are with you every step of the way and you will get through this.

Love you and Jenna, I love you too, please let me know if you need anything.
ALL the healing glitter <3 xx

Thank you everyone, I will pass on ALL the kind words :)
I'll be visiting her tonight, and might bring an Emma too, and will update on what's going on. If there's anyone else in London who wants to join the visiting brigade, then do let me know. Determined to make Jodie the most popular patient on the ward :P

I hope she gets better. I have only met her once and she was awesome and still is for a matter of fact! send my love to her. She can have some *puppy cuddles* too.

I've been wondering where Jodie was since I've been back here. I've missed her.
Jodie, it's totally ok to have this support and help.
I'm not the best visitor ever, but if you would like me to drop by, let Jenna know. I'm assuming your not that far away from me so if you needed any bits and bobs brought in for you, let me know and I'll see what I can do. :)

Jodie love I hope they can help you there and make sure you reach out as much as possible. It's ok to ask for help. I'm so sorry you felt you had to OD. I really hope you feel better soon.

Jenna thanks for keeping us updated as well as being sucH a good friend to jodie and as others have said make sure you look after yourself too.

Sending hugs and love <3

Thinking of you, Jodie. Hope you're okay too, Jenna.

Oh lovely JodMum, I'm so sorry you're struggling and hurting so much. But look at everyone who loves you, you've got so many people who adore you, if you can't fight for yourself right now, try and fight for them, we need you here, we need you alive and kicking! You're absolutely amazing, and you can do this, you can fight this, you're so strong.

Please try and cooperate with the staff and keep fighting, we believe in you, we know you can do this.

Jenna, you're such a wonderful friend. You really are. Do take care of yourself, too. *cuddles for both of you*

Love love for you both, too. *sprinkles fairydust and hope and happiness and strength and all that positive lovely doda*
xxxxx

Jodie, lovely, leaving much love and support, try to co-operate and I hope the time in hospital is able to help keep you safe.

Jenna, take care of yourself too yeah? This is a lot of stress, on top of exams and stuff, so just take it easy.

Lots of love Jodie lovely <3 Thinking of you. I really hope it helps in the hospital.

Jennaface, love you too <3 Remember to look after yourself too.

*squishes you both*

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I have to get out of here. They are not listening. I have to do things to stop the man and they stop me and he's getting madder and madder and I don't understand how the discharge forms work so I don't know how to get out and I'm scarred and guilty and selfish for being here when he is making people hurt. I need to just deal with it better even when its hard I undersatdnd that now and I'm so so sorry if he hurts anyone or makes you hurt. I need to leave I need to leave. I feel so guilty and selfish and I'm sorry because you have all hbeen so lovely and I'm not greatful enough. I didn't mean to die when I took the pills I judt had to make things stop but now I wish I had.

I'm sorry you feel they're not listening. Make sure you let them know that I'll be there at 17:30 this evening and am happy to talk to them to explain what's going on.

We're all going to be just fine, and if we're not, it's because we're a bunch of crazy people who do crazy shit, not because of anything you have or haven't done.

Please be strong and brave and dare to believe that this is a delusion, and he's not going to hurt anyone. You're really sick darling, and you have to be there so they can help you get better. I promise I wouldn't let you be admitted if I didn't think it was safest.

Love you munchkin <3

Oh, Jodie,
I know it's hard and horrible darling, especially when you believe that terrible things will be happening, but I promise we will be ok, and no-one is going to be hurt because of you. Have you explained your beliefs to the team there yet? Have you had a meeting with the psych there and things, perhaps they will be able to help reassure you?

Jodie it's hard when you have feelings like this but nothing is going to happen to us, we will be okay. Have you told the team there about the thoughts your having? Keep fighting hun, you will get through this. Thinking of you xxx

Just being here is a challenge because it breaks rule 1. Nevermind the rest :s.
I saw the psych this morn for an intake and my 'team' is coming to see me soon. Don't know who they are. I'm not allowed to leave yet :/

Hey Jodie, what is rule 1? You deserve this help and support right now, and I know that it is not easy and that things seem very scary right now, but please tell the staff what is going on for you do they can help you the best they know how. You deserve that. I know it's scary *holds your hand*
Love you miss xxx
Aimee

Jodie I'm so sorry to hear that your in hospital but hopefully they can help you.

Jenna is right, anything bad that happens to any of us is not because of him, its because of our own decisions, he doesn't control us but it seems that he is controlling you right now which must be very scary. But he will go away soon, and part of me wants to and beat him to death myself because of how much he has hurt you.

We all love you Jodie and hopefully I can come visit you soon if you want me to of course.

Xxxxx

JodMum, you have to listen to us, and to Jenna, she said it perfectly. It is a delusion, you need to believe us when we say that the man isn't "real", he isn't going to hurt any of us, he's real to you, I understand that, I do, but you have to try and believe us at least when we say he won't hurt us, and he won't hurt you, and you need help, you're very poorly lovely Mum, you need to try and think that you do have an illness and you need help to get better, or at least be in a better place and more stable and aware of what's going on and what is real and what isn't and all that lovely stuff!

You can do this, we believe in you, try and believe in yourself, you're so strong and amazing, you can get through this.

Talk to the people there, talk to them about what you're feeling, what's going through your mind, pretty much everything you've said here, just open up to them, just a bit, so they can try to help you better... or maybe write it down, or show them what you've said on here?

*so many cuddles and snuggles*

If you have your phone, BBM/text/call me anytime, I'm always here, always.

I love you.

P.S Hush about being not grateful and feeling guilty, we're here for you, you need the support and help, and we're here to offer that and shower you with love! :)
xxxxxxxxxx


edit;
These are what I agree with completely;


Laura;

"anything bad that happens to any of us is not because of him, its because of our own decisions, he doesn't control us but it seems that he is controlling you right now which must be very scary. But he will go away soon, and part of me wants to and beat him to death myself because of how much he has hurt you."

&

Jenna;

"We're all going to be just fine, and if we're not, it's because we're a bunch of crazy people who do crazy shit, not because of anything you have or haven't done.

Please be strong and brave and dare to believe that this is a delusion, and he's not going to hurt anyone. You're really sick darling, and you have to be there so they can help you get better. I promise I wouldn't let you be admitted if I didn't think it was safest."

Oh Jodie love so so sorry to hear this, please keep trying xxx

Jodie, please let people do what they can to support you and take care of yourself. I'm thinking about you.

Hey jodieface! I'm on my mobile so will have to be brief but needed to tell you I love you and I'm thinking of you loads. No one is going to get hurt because of him hun, please try and believe us.
You've been struggling for so long, the staff want to keep you safe and get you well again.

If you are still there at the weekend I will engage in ALL the visiting. I am a top class stalker :)
Love you sweetie xx

I couldn't agree more with Jenna's last post. Please try and work with them, sweetheart, they only have your best interests at heart. Sending you ALL the love <3

I hope that things get easier and better for you soon Jodie.

You have been there a whole day now and no one has been hurt. I think he is lying to you Jodie.

I think the truth is that when you hurt yourself you hurt us more than when you dont.

Jenna please be kind to yourself and also give Jodie a hug for me xxx

Im really sad to hear about this, I hope the admission helps you

Thinking of you.

This.

Love you Jodie & I'm thinking about you. <3

Thinking of you, Jodie. I do really hope you'll get better.

Thank you guys so much. I'm feeling a little calmer now. I've been sectioned and will be assessed tomorrow to find out if I can have it lifted and go home. I m aware that the fact I 100% will go home and continue following the rules is indicative that they may not just let me walk out though. But hopefully there will be a middle ground.

I spoke to my family and after some shouting a d tears they concluded I was mad and needed to stay put.

Jenna, you have been truly amazing to me. I don't deserve you. Honestly, all this shit when you have exams and your own life stress. I'm just so sorry to have 'chosen' now to have a breakdown lol.

But yes. I spoke to the nurse which was hard but she's lovely and said any time I feel overwhelmed by the thoughts he shares with me i am t tel them so we can talk through it.

It will be hard because Rule number 1 is that I am categorically not supposed to talk aboutthe bad things. And I have spent so many years now not talking about it, suddenly having to do so is scary. It's taken me this long to be ale to tell trusted friends, never mind actual members of staff.

Thank you for your on going love and support. hopefully I won't be in here long, and hopefully this less depressed mood will last. Right now I'm feeling more glad that I was made t stay on the drip so I didn't die. More so than I was anyway.

They are doing a lot of making me eat which is scaring me, but I am a lot more unweight than I thought i was so I'm trying to reconcile myself with that.

Thank you Jenna for topping up my iPad so I'm not bored. Though this hosp is significantly more pretty than the Maudsley.

Sending you lots of love and hugs Jodie. xx

Jodie, if you do not understand the forms and they are not willing to help you understand them then perhaps you or Jenna could look at getting an advocate involved. I am going to look online for a service in your area. I am so so so so so (I think you get the idea) glad that you didn't die and I am coming to give you ALL the hugs!

Sorry this made me lol a bit, but Jenna had a lot of wise....


I am glad you spoke to your family despite the shouting and tears, however you are not mad, you have MH problems, there is a difference!

I hope that you are able to find some middle ground with the people doing the assessment so that a solution is reached which is acceptable for you but also keeps you safe.

The nurse sounds lovely and I hope you can try and talk to them when things feel overwhelming. The man is your mind being a troll lovely, nothing bad will happen because of you talking about things. I know this cos I am a genius!

Love you so much for ALL the days and nights and inbetweens :p

Hugs Jodie, Jenna is right nothing bad will happen because of you. Please try and trust them and Jenna. Everybody wants to help.Thinking of youxx

Hope things get better for you Jodie!
And I hope that the hospital helps. Take care of yourself.
You'll be in my thoughts.

Love you <3

I'm sorry I've only just seen this, Jodie.

I hope you co-operate with the staff and let them help you. I will try and come back tomorrow to add more helpful words when I've had a little more sleep :P

Take care of yourself love, you deserve to be happy x

Oh golly, I'm so pleased to read this.
Keep fighting and talking and daring to challenge the awful thoughts.

See you tomorrow,
love you <3

I love you Jodie. Hang in there. <3