What would you say to...
 

..your 13 year old self? [How many times do you reckon I can make this thread..;D]

[I made this post in 2008/2009 (linky)(linky) and they came up with some interesting responses - maybe if you did it before you can also look back and see how much, if at all, what you would say has changed - so I thought I'd just come back all over again :)]

Just write a letter here to yourself, at the age of 13. In hindsight, what would you say to you?

So..

Dear 13 year old self...

Dear twinkle toes

Wear sunscreen. One day you'll join slimming world, you're better off staying away from Ann. One day you'll move to Tunbridge Wells, don't drink quite so much. One day you'll buy a flat in Folkestone then move back to Dorset after living there only three months; I'd say still go ahead & buy it, just don't chase the market down when you come to sell it. Don't lend any money to the prozzie that travels semi-regularly on the train, you'll never get it back. My biggest bit of advice is DO NOT be light fingered with that handbag and rucksack; you're life will be right royaly screwed up & you'll start playing with sharp implements.


You aged 31

P.S. Trust me on the sunscreen ;)

I saw what I said last time.

Now I'd say:

Dear 13 year old Sarah. Life is worth it. Trust me. It gets a whole lot better. And you haven't even watched Sherlock yet! Come on. Relax, stop worrying and enjoy life. Love 21 year old you.

Dear 13 year old idiot;

Grow up. Stay away from people. Dont let ayneone in, they're nto good for you. Also, Sherlock has not been invented, adn thats good man. And you havent met Sarah yet, or anyone else. Like. stop whining, grow up and just go with it.

No love,

Me.

Dear 13 year old Mary,

Spend more time with your friends and don't listen to that bitchh. Do not get drunk at that party and just try to enjoy yourself for once. Oh and do not pick leisure and tourism for your GCSE's and do some maths revision, you idiot. Just be prepared.

Good Luck.

Dearest iJack,

Don't try smoking. Play quarterback instead of defensive end. Don't quit karate.

Dear [Alit],

Attached are the winners of all major sporting events that will happen in the next 10 years of your life. Also attached are winning lottery numbers.
Bet large.

Dear 13 year old self,
Don't start smoking, you'll still be trying to quit 5 years later.
Go out. Have fun. Enjoy yourself while you can.
Think more carefully about what GCSE's you choose, and actually try to do well at them, you have a brain in there somewhere.
Also think more carefully about what college courses you choose!

And most importantly, do not go out with him. Although the bruises are gone, 4 years later and you're still battling with the consequenses. You don't deserve to be treated like that, no-one does.

Love,
18 year old self.

:laugh:This.

Also: Dear 13 year old Rowan,

This year is going to be really f***ing s***, you'll end up in foster care but it'll toughen you up, just don't drink to get through it and it might not be so bad. You know who your real friends are, the ones that will be with you always, take care of them because sometimes they'll be the only thing that keeps you from the edge. Look after yourself and stop winding up in hospital because once you hit 14 you're gonna have some of the best times of your life.
But when you hit 18 whatever you think it can be worse so don't do it. It will be your greatest regret and will always haunt you.

Lots of love, 19 year old Rowan.

Dear 13 year old self,
s**t happens, and there will be alot of it.
but it'll get better.
good luck!

Dear you...

Okay, last year sucked, but it wasn't your fault and you've every right to be upset/angry - you didn't deserve it. Don't feel you have to bottle everything up inside you, because you'll keep doing it until you have no capacity left to deal with anything, which will ultimately cause you to go into meltdown.
When you get older, you'll get the urge to travel the world - DO IT, you won't regret it. But spend less time in Vietnam and China cos they suck long-term, go for Thailand and Hong Kong instead.

Take care,
30 year old me.

Dear 13 year old self,

This year will suck more than you could ever imagine. Just try and get through all the psychiatry and happy pills, and you'll be fine :) Trust me x

Reference to Baz Luhrmann perhaps? :)

Indeed it is; a little something to keep 13 year old me thinking WTF for the next 6/7 years :hehe:

Hey you,

I know right now things are changing for you, you've come across a horrible truth and life is becoming very hard. you need to stop hurting yourself and talk to someone all about it, if you dont things are going to get nastier but i cannot say they will get better you still need to talk about it. You're not all those bad things you think you are and soon you will come across who you think is the love of your life dont follow them you stay who you are and inndividual, you can become so much dont let people manipulate who you are! You're just perfect! Im going to give you the advice for art i wish i was give sooner, take the initiative leap get out of that box and you let rip, art has been part of you and you're losing it dont let that happen take every chance you get and flourish with it. You follow your dreams and dont stop until you reach that first star. I have faith in you you pack up your tent from the cross roads ad head in the oppossite direction your facing! Be brave life will prove you wrong!

love from the person you dont want to be x

Dear 13 year old me.

Happy 13th Birthday! Enjoy all the books you begged for. They'll get you through the next 4 years.
I promise you, here and now, that everything is going to be okay.
Maybe not tomorrow, or next week, or within a year or five, but it really will be okay.
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
Also; your hair goes banana yellow when you try to dye it electric blue. It is not a good look.

With love.
Your now 19 year old self.

Just found my reply from 2 years ago ;o

Dear 13 year old me.

Right now, your angry, alone and scared. Your brother just left you and your Mother seems not to care, And he is on the war path to do everything in his power to make your life living hell.
Be strong. It might take a while for things to even look like they might get better.
Trust people. Tell them what is going on, they already suspect something is, they just need to know you will be okay.
You will be okay, I promise you.
Be strong, don't turn to the drugs or alcohol. And leave the blade where it is. It will destroy your life.

Be who you want to be and fight for your rights. When He tries things, scream loud, and Run to Mama Bear, she will help you fix it.

You will, one day, be a strong independent woman who will find her way, I'm not there yet, you just have to believe.

From 18 Year old me.

dear 13 yr old self

dont hurt yourself like others do. you deserve so much better than that xx

Dear 13 year old Nic.

You're not quite awesome yet, so for goodness sake cut off that emo fringe and stop listening to HIM and other emo crap. It is not good for you. Start doing the school shows, don't wait until the last year to enjoy it. And LISTEN in lessons. Don't leave everything until a week before the exam then cram it in. It's hard. And you won't be able to get through it without hurting yourself. When that teacher asked what the cuts were, tell her. Maybe if you use the help from her, it won't get as bad as it does.

Do NOT go to that counsellor. That counsellor is bullshiit and she'll make you want to die. Do NOT stop eating. Do not use that as a substitute for cutting. Read. Write. Watch funny things. Anything else. Because if you keep cutting and starving, you WILL lose friends. Your family and remaining friends will cry and scream and shout because they don't know how to help you. And it will suck.

Lastly. You're 13. Not 30. Stop trying to act older than you are, you'll miss your childhood in the end.

From, your 18 year old self.

PS. Dressing like some kind of human rainbow in skinnies, hoodies, band-tees and as many colours as you can get on yourself is NOT COOL.

Dear Tam,
Things have been a little rough so far, but I hate to break it to you, things are going to get worse. You will come out the other end though. Time after time, you will go to bed at the end of the day wondering what on earth life is all about. Keep at it, honestly, you'll get to where you want to be.

Please think about yourself, be selfish, not to selfish, just enough to remember that YOU come first. No one else. Your wishes, desires and expectations are the ONLY ones that are important. I say important, they're not THAT important. Don't be so hard on yourself. You can only do your best, in that moment. You may have done better before, you may do better in the future. But the best is what you are capable of here and now.

Don't get caught up with food. You know that you have an addictive personality and you have NO idea how long you will be trying to pull yourself out of the hole that is an eating disorder. It sucks. Bad. It will cause you to struggle at uni, it will cause you to not want to go out. It will cause you so much pain and trauma. You'll lose who you are, it will take you a whole lot of time, energy and hurt to find your way back to yourself.

Things will get better with your mum, you'll both grow up. Damn you both need to. You will be friends, she'll still annoy you but guess what, you'll need her. That's right - you'll depend on her. When you are miles from home at uni it will feel strange to go a day without talking to her.

Stay positive, believe in yourself. You are capable. You will get through your GCSE's, you will survive your a-levels and you will make it to uni, and guess what, in the summer of 2011 - you'll be about to embark on the greatest experience of your entire life. I won't spoil it for you. Go with your heart, even when it is pounding through your chest. Live for the day, breathe in every moment. Go to the doctors as SOON as you feel strong enough to. You will leave it to late but please just make sure you learn from that.

You will lose some of the people you love the most, relationships will change, friendships will disappear. But one thing will always remain - YOU. Stay true to that.

You DESERVE to be happy, that's right you DESERVE it. It may take time, it may take miles and miles. You will get there.

Love 19 year old me. x

Dear 13-year-old April...



I know, I'm kind of young to be posting here. I'm only 14 now. But...13 was the age I started hurting myself and if you read what I posted above then you'll know why I posted here at all.

Hello Freakoid.

I don't wanna spoil the future for you but just so's you know: you're still alive aged 17. Shocked? Yea, I know you are. You're an idiot for being with him: he's going to try and kill you. I won't bother saying ditch him, 'cause you do. Over and over again. Turns out, he gets you through some **** but he causes more so heh. You're going to **** it over with her. You know it, and she knows it. But enjoy it for now, it's sweet and it's doing you both good.

I'm not gunna say stop drinking or cutting or starving/purging whatever... just do less? 'Cause the after effects are ****ing painful right now. And yea, you're still doing most of that **** 4 years on but take some advice from a current friend of mine? Get over yourself.

You have all the support and ****. Things are going to get so ****ed up, you won't even know who you are most of the time. But for my sake, keep your head down. Don't go causing any more trouble then necessary. My nose gets broken in a few years time in a drunken accident, don't make it worse.#

So yea, do drugs. Do alcohol. Do whatever, just not so excessively - it means when every one else is coming into 6th form (yes, you do carry on in education!) either hungover or still stoned, you're not and you know how to cope with them 'cause you've already been there, done that.

Chin up chuck, it gets better soon,
Me. or You. W/e

Dear 13 year old self,
So what if your world just got turned upside down, you're 13 so act 13. You can cry about it, ask for help and be selfish, no one will judge you because you are basically still a child. Do not start acting older, do not start building that wall up around you that you won't ever break down and let anyone in years later. It is going to cause more problems than its worth.
Do not get caught up in self harm and eating. It is not okay just to do it the once, theres no such thing as 'just the once'. It turns into an addiction. It will take over your life. Don't let it take over your teens.
P.s. Enjoy life, no regrets. Regrets will ruin you.
From your 18 year old self.

Dear 13 year old self,

Don't take things to heart. If you do that then you'll only end up being hurt faster and harder. You do not have to please everyone. You don't have to be perfect. Don't obsess about things that don't matter. Let the definition of beautiful adapt itself to you, not the way in which you believe it should be done. Live in the moment, don't think about the past or the future; only now. In fact, don't think about other people's opinions in general. They're not always right. You need to look after yourself now because in the future, you won't do such a good job of it. Please try to be confident within yourself. If you do that then people respect you more and you'll gain more success and happiness. Find people that wish to love you for you, rather than the other way around. Don't judge those people on a first appearance and get to know them, they might surprise you.

Watch Disney movies as they'll bring a tear to your eye and laughter to your lips. Do things that you enjoy. Be the person that you want to be and don't let anyone else bring you down, they're not worth it. Try believing that you are. Believe you're a good person and follow through.

Take care of yourself, you never know when you'll need that most.

Love, your 19 year old self.

P.S. I almost forgot; for goodness sake, stop worrying!

Right, Conor, I'm in kind of a hurry right now (you know the feeling, I know), so I'll keep this short and sweet.

Don't go crazy, if at all possible. More importantly, y'know that vague curiosity in the back of your mind about drugs and what not? Best to ignore that. Yeah, I know you've heard it before, but just trust me on that. Also, ignore Aisling. You'll feel guilty at first, but honest to god, it's better than giving her an audience. Finally, you're going to meet a guy in a month or two who'll seem like a bit of an oddball, but keep him around, he'll grow on you quickly enough.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to the future to drive my rocket car and fight in World War Three. Zombie Robot Hitler isn't going to stop himself after all.

*TARDIS noise*

Dear 13 year old me,

Things will get better for you sooner than you realise, and you will be happy unitil your 18th year. Savour these years, with your wonderful school and talent. You'll fall in (albeit unrequited love) but all in all you'll be so happy. Don't let ANYONE step on you, you OWN those idiots. And keeping singing, it is the key for your happiness. You MUST. TRUST ME!! Aside from that go with the flow, above all achieve, and enjoy your time.

You should get a haircut too, keep up the sport, soon you'll be a swan just wait. You're also short sighted in one eye, get that looked at asap. Oh and you have a funky pelvis and a leg that's longer than the other! Check it if you don't believe me! :P

What I have to say next is very important: your parents divorce just before you turn 16. Be there for them both, allow yourself to mourn and come to terms there and then because if you bottle it up you'll end up like me, a heartbroken wreck.

Oh and as soon as you come into contact with a pony called ****, buy her at all costs for she will get you through your daft angsty times and teach you a lot about life.

But all in all you did very very well, leaving school spells then end of your life as a happy person.

You will go to the Univeristy Of Nottingham, this next piece of infor is crucially important. Do not I repeat- do NOT, fall into a relationship with an individual names **** *****. He will promise you everything you ever wanted, will say all the right things and then break your heart beyond repair. Then you'll change and hate yourself.

ALSO: GET an infection cured before you return home from the end of first year at uni!!! This developed into practical kidney failure and nearly killed you!!! It was perhaps the start of your depression too as it may have done something to you upstairs. Then again if you're not in a relationship with that person it probably wouldn't happen.

I could say that you should enter the relationship and do everything "right" but in retrospect it would be better that you never meet him. Please, this is good advice. It will save you and be the making of you.

I'm just gutted that this is a forum thread and not for real.
Take care, go with the flow, maintain good relations with all.
Enjoy your happy years, the storm is to follow and you need to be well equipped to even have a shot of weathering it.

Good luck, and remember at my age you'd give anything to be your age again.
With love,
The 20 year old you.

Dear 13 year old Zoe.
Tell mum you're gay now. Seriously, she doesn't mind. If you do it while she's asking what you want for tea, you'll get an awesome coming out story. Do not listen to the girls who tell you you are fat, I've gone over the photos with a fine tooth comb, you're not fat, and if you start starving yourself, you look ill, and you're not over it 6 years later.
Stop lying to yourself and to CAMHS. You are not fine. Telling yourself you are fine will not make it any better. Take the help now, and don't let them fob you off, because when you feel like you have to die, you won't have any limits.
Tell them about him and his dad as well. And grandad. Don't go to his funeral, and let Gareth explain, though you haven't met him yet, he is a lifeline.
Oh, and don't stay at alsager for sixth form, and don't go to an all girls sixth form, tell mum you feel like a boy now.
I don't know how we stop self harming though. And just a hint. One day your girlfriend will take an overdose. She will be asleep on a beanbag and hard to wake. Call the ambulance there and then.

19 year old Xander (You liked the name :))

Dear 13-year-old Meg,

I can't promise you that things will be easy, because they won't, not by a long stretch.
Here are some things that will make it better

- Treasure your family. Grandad A isn't invincible, so try and see him as often as you can. You'll miss him when he's gone, but you get his last smile, so remember that forever
- J, N and L are a part of your life now. Mum and Dad don't love you any more or any less because of them. You'll still struggle to see that when you're my age, but it'll get easier. We both have to have faith.
- Stick by H, she'll mean everything to you soon. And you have a lot of fun together. Take lots of pictures so you have things to look back on when you're having a bad day.
- Don't stop sucking your thumb. It's okay. You'll meet people who like it too.
- Your memories will distort as you get older. Try and write everything down. And don't make anything up - there's nothing you can say that will shock me now.
- Some songs will mean a lot to you as you get older. Don't quit playing. The French Horn will become your best instrument, and you get better, trust me.
- Braces will be the best decision you ever made. Look after your teeth. Do as Mrs C tells you. She might be an evil witch, but she knows what she's talking about.
- Keep going to TC. It's okay; you like girls and boys. You still will, it's not a phase. Don't waste your time trying to explain it to anyone who laughs at you. They're not worth it, and in 7 years time you won't even remember their names.
- Tell Mum before she has to find it out. The sick feeling in your stomach every time she pauses the telly (oh, yeah. You get this awesome thing where you can pause, rewind and record telly. It's called sky+, I'll look into how it works and maybe we can get some royalties?) isn't worth it.
- Keep going, trooper. You'll gain friends and you'll lose friends. You'll find God, and then you'll remember He's not real. You'll go through some awful experiences that you won't ever get over, not really. You'll hurt and you'll ache and you'll cut and you'll have regrets. But you keep going, and you'll have good days as well as bad days.

Chin up, Spuggy. Things will be okay <3

Love
20-year-old You
x x x

To myself i would say, Don't ever start your self harming. Don't start drinking. Don't let anyone in too much and don't block everyone out. When you go to the doctor to get your physical and explain how the scars on your arm occurred talk to her. Tell her why. Don't just say 'I'd rather not.' Most importantly. Love yourself.

Don't I sound like a motivational tape or something? xP

Thanks for the smile, Google. (:

I said that in 2009, I would probably still say the same thing but I would also say;

Emily,
You will get into uni, you will manage to make it.
You will do lighting and you will fu*king love it so try not to screw it up before your even there. When you get there be more honest with your tutors.
You will have a big car accident but if you just power through and make sure that you want it badly enough, you will recover. You will make it even thought it will be hard for a few months.
You will break up with the girl of your dreams and right now your still getting caught up about it but I'm pretty sure that that will pass and you will have her as a good friend. Right now lots of your friends hate you so don't do what you did on that drunken evening, it's not worth it.
Be more honest with your crazy lady and don't change over when you move to london, they are crap in london.
Keep at it. I know you can make it, I know you can power through. You always have.
Make me proud.

Flem :]

Dear 13 year old self,
Start losing weight now, then you'll get loads more pussy when you're older.
Yours,
Nat

Dear 13 year old me,

Thank you :D

Love 20 yr old me (Y)

Dear 13-year old self:

I know you are uncomfortable in your own skin. Don't be. Your body is beautiful just the way it is. The next ten years are going to be hard, but you will learn how to survive. Take care of your family. Don't be so mad at mama, she's struggling. In time, you will learn to get on. Don't be so afraid of failure. Sometimes it is in failing that we learn the most about ourselves. You have real strength in you. Stay kind and honest. Stay away from Rosh at Uni, she is too angry and will not do you any good. Look after yourself. Don't hurt your body. It is a beautiful instrument. Don't stop swimming. Don't be so self-conscious. Work hard.
You will get there. You can do anything you put your mind to.

Dear 13 year old self,

Hey you monumental fool, stop hurting yourself and stop the elaborate plans because they won't leave you even when you don't need them anymore. It's not going to get any easier and if you can't bloody well sort yourself out then go and tell someone. Seriously, you're worth more than hurting yourself and people finding out isn't as horrific as it seems.

It's okay that you're unsure of yourself but please stop whinging about it and stop hating yourself. You're beautiful as you are and you'd look about 100 times better if you got a hair cut and stopped trying to be someone who you're not. Quit listening to **** music because one day you'll look back and cringe. Don't stop playing the piano and buy yourself a guitar, too. Friends come and go. Don't beat yourself up for that. GCSEs will be a nice surprise so don't stress about them; they pretty much sort themselves out. Embrace that you can be intelligent rather than doing badly on purpose - if people choose to dislike you for it then it's not your fault. Lower your expectations of yourself. Don't get a complex about speaking aloud because when you take languages for A-level it'll be a bloody nightmare. Nag Mum for a dog - it works - but then train it, please. Make the most of G and D. They don't stick around forever. Be honest, smile and just start bloody living. There's a lot to look forward to and hey, being 13 is hard enough as it is - stop making it more complicated than it needs to be and stop missing out on being a child.

Most importantly, GO AND GET YOUR EYES TESTED then wear your glasses all of the time because you really need to.

Love, your 18 year old self.

Dear, 13-year-old self,

I miss you. You had problems, sure, but you were fun and they didn't eat you. You were interesting, sociable, unafraid.

Come back?

Oi,
Don't take everything so seriously.

Love,
Annie.

Dear 13 year old me,

Eat less. It'll save you having to diet when you get to 20.
Also, get out more. Go out with people and discover make up!
Dont go to school looking like an idiot thats just rolled out of bed. Make an effort and it'll be appreciated.
Make the most of him, he'll be put to sleep when you're 22.
DONT BE FRIENDS WITH HIM, EVER. DONT EVEN SPEAK TO HIM. NOT EVEN ABIT. HE ISNT GOOD FOR YOU.
Make more friends and dont isolate the friends you already have.
Work harder at school, you're smart you just need to apply yourself.
After school, when it comes to going to college, DO IT.
Dont do that stupid IT thing, just go to college and study to be something useful.
Most importantly, make the most of hanging around with your mum. One day you will move out, and if you move far you'll regret not hanging out with her as much as you could.
Save the people that need saving before things get to difficult.
Talk to people too, they're not scary. And take up some hobbies.
Laugh more, and enjoy everything.
TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES, soon enough they'll be the only thing you have left. If you dont take enough pictures, you'll have to rely on your memories and you know how messed up that can get.
Decide never to start drinking. Thats a good thing.
Um, dont be too hard on yourself. And learn to laugh at yourself too.
Most importantly though, learn to love life and BE POSITIVE. It'd reallly help you in the future.

Love, me.

x

Dear 13 year old me.
Get focused on weightlifting.
Fight back.

From. Me.

Dear Laura,
Please don't decide to work instead of a daytrip when you are 17. It will safe HIS life.

Love,
Laura

Dear 13 year old Katie,
Don't try to hard to fit in. People will bully you whether you fit in or not. Don't let it get to you. Mum & Dad are right- you'll get the last laugh. Your friends will be flakey, and they always will be. It's the ones who confront you instead of stopping talking to you who are worth it in the long run.
Try to learn to work. Else sixth form and university will be utterly pointless, as you'll still be lazy. But you won't be able to "just learn" like you can now, without any effort. Go to private school like your parents want- Meridian will just be the biggest waste of time. Things will be SO bad for you there.
Boys come and go. You'll meet an amazing one, but you'll lose him. Realise he's everything to you sooner, and spend as much time with him as you can before he dies. You'll learn more from him that you can ever know.
Stop planning so much. Life just doesn't work out the way you want it to, so just go with the flow. Enjoy it more.
Oh, and when you go to Tanzania, don't let that bitch push you out of the Land Explorer right next to the lioness. Just don't.
But overall- remember your teen years are ****, no matter where you are. In 10 years, you'll be happier than you can imagine.
Love 23 year old me x

Dear Laura,
it's me again.
Just wanted to add that you would work for 4 hours that day and make only 20 euros. You could safe a live instead and actually have a life in the future. DO NOT WORK ON APRIL 11TH 2007. Just ask Judith, she will be your stepsister a that time to work for you, she'll do it. And if she doesn't better lose the job, it's not a good job anyway.

Love,
Me

13 year old me,

Put those xtra strong mints down! If you don't you will still be addicted to them in 6 years time...
Talk to her. Tell her you want to help her. Talk to mum and dad too, while you still can, because if you don't you're going to lose the opportunity to ever have a meaningful conversation with them about anything that's going on with you.
I know you're scared right now about moving, but Shelly is right, you need to talk to mum and dad about it, they can't help you if they don't know you don't want to go. Ireland really isn't that bad, you will have great memories there. Stand up to the bullies while you can, don't accept what they say as true and most importantly, when you're 15 and the thought of skipping meals comes into your head, don't do it. And if you do, that first day you think of purging, get help, otherwise you really will become the scared, scarred person i am.
Oh, and before i forget, don't drink on JC results night, just don't, you will regret it.
You are beautiful and you deserve love, don't let anyone tell you any different.
love, your older self.


...Although sending this would mess up the space/time continuum...

13-yr-old Jo

A few things:
- You're academic. Fight for it. Don't let yourself take second-best A-levels and screw around with them. Trust me, as your 21-yr-old self job-hunting currently, it's amazing how much they do come up.
- Don't let Al screw you around. You loved him and he loved you, but the relationship will unofficially end a long time before it officially ends, and honestly, you're far too fabulous to be messed about by him. But that's a looooong way off, anyway.
- Eat, drink and be merry. Don't let anybody make you feel second-rate for enjoying food, drink and sex. There's far too many important things to be enjoying to waste your energy on that.

Be proud of who you are. You're strong and have a lot to give, so give it. Have conviction and stand up for what you think is right. You'll be wrong a lot of the time, but it's a learning curve - and that's another point. Don't let yourself be dragged down into misery, find good stuff in every situation - so you lose your passport. It's not the end of the world. You now know what to do if that happens again!

All I can say is that you've got **** up ahead - put the windscreen wipers on, and don't lock people out of the car. You'll do far better if you accept them. And whatever you do, keep fighting. Life is ****ing great on the other end.

Spend more time with Rachel - you guys get on great. Oh - and discover herbal tea and Whittards a lot younger, too. It's fab stuff :) Also, stop spending time with those Christian friends. They'll only mess you up.

Ultimately, don't **** it up. You'll make it through and you'll be awesome when you come out of it, but it's going to be hard. Enjoy what you can, because there's a whole lot of world and person to enjoy. You're great in the future, so love yourself.
Lots of (slightly egotistic) love, and see you on the other side.

I quite liked the one I wrote back in 2009, but I'll write a new one anyway:

Dear 13-year-old me,

You make it past 18, can you believe it? I know by now that you're thinking you won't, but you do and you're all the better for it. The friendship group you have now may feel like the most important thing to you, but one day it'll all break away. You'll still have Megan, though, and she'll be there when you're 19 too. You'll make new friends; friends that are better than your old ones.

Things are going to be okay. At 16, you won't ever have to worry about the bullies again. That feels like far away, but it really isn't. Start building up your self esteem. Write more because it makes you feel better, and don't think for a second that it's not okay to be who you are. People like you for you, so don't change that.

Lots of love,

19-year-old me :3

PS, stop fighting with your older brother. He may annoy you sometimes, but he becomes a huge part of life one day.

To Rosy, on your thirteenth birthday,

You already doubt whether you're going to be here in the future. You're already seeing the future as finite. You're pretty sure you'll be dead before you reach sixteen. You're wrong--you will be here. Rosy, I'm saying this to you then, and I'm saying this to myself, now: You are much stronger than you think.

On your thirteenth birthday you sat on the step outside the door of this house. We hadn't bought this house yet, but it was going to be ours. You sat on the step, tasting the silence. The birdsong. You'll sit on the same step on your 22nd birthday thinking about how much you survived. That, while being alive doesn't seem like it should be such an achievement, sometimes the fact that you're here is all you have to give.

At 13, many of the really bad things had already happened to you. Part of me wants to ask you to tell people about them right now. I think it would be a lot easier if you told people, if you told anyone. The people who matter won't hate you. You need help, sweetheart. You need help to heal those wounds. You needed help then, and you need help now. It's ok to ask for help, though. I think that's the only thing you really need to hear.

I know why you did a lot of the things you did, and I forgive you for them, but if I could give you some advice, it would be to try things. I know it's hard. I know you don't want to get out of bed, and that's ok. But on the days when you can breathe you should try things. Visit museums. Join groups. Anything. Try not to lock yourself away.

You're going to learn a lot about death this year. An awful lot about death and it's going to be hard to trust in anything ever again. I don't know the answer to that one. I don't think anyone knows the answer to that one.

As you grow up, you're going to feel like you're not achieving anything and that everyone hates you. To be honest, that feeling isn't going to go away, but in retrospect I feel like you achieved quite a lot, and not everyone hated you. Hopefully 32 year old me will think the same things about 22 year old me.

What else should I say to you? Things pick up. Things go down. Things hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt. I don't know how to protect you from those things. I can't tell you not to go to school. I can't tell you to run away from home, and keep running. All I can suggest is that you tell people around you about them, and keep telling them. I'm slowly getting the strength to do that.

Nothing is ever easy, little Rosy, and I don't think it's ever going to be. Just look around you, and keep looking around you. None of us are alone.

From Rosy, three days after her 22nd birthday

P.S. The Internet. You'll meet most of your best friends there. It'll get installed soon. That's something to look forward to.

dear 13 year old sarah

it doesnt matter if the popular people dont like you, you will only come to realie in a few years that they are all like tangereene plastics who you dont want to be like.

dont try to be lauras friends, and dont sleep around love, however many men you sleep with, you will not be straight.

i know you need to drop a few pounds but try exersising, go to an extra ballet class, (oooh that reminds me, leave that dance school now and find a new one while you can, they dont deserve you and will treat you like **** when you are older) And you can say no to cake at granmas, have tea instead, and some fruit.

the ammount you take will never be enough, ever. the scars from hat you wll do will be ther when you are 18+. it is not a good thing to do, but if you dont, you will turn out differently and never meet him

and for gods sake....in october/november 2010 you will be outside manchester picaddilli station with someone....you will want to kiss her. do it, she will kiss you back and it will be the start of something amazing, better than you could ever imagine.

dont drink a lot of cider, you will only get a headache, dont drink red wine it does the same....and dont mix your drinks, it makes a very unhappy drunk

love you at 18 years old

ps dont go to winstanley, colleigate is the best for you.

Yes you are different, and it is okay. That feeling will never go but you will find the strength to push through, and it is so worth it, the people you meet will be some of the most amazing people. Don't give up on the idea of love or life, it will take time but you will start getting there eventually (even though at my age you still will be wondering how).