The Support for Everyday Struggles Thread
 

Got something going on today? Are you mildly triggered and don't feel like you need a whole thread to talk about it? Post here with the ins and outs of recovery from and struggles with self-harm.

There is just one rule:

Please respond to the person above you in your post. Even a few words are often greatly appreciated.

That way, we can all get a little boost in our struggles/recovery. Happy posting!

Nice idea!
How are you today?

i agree, nice idea.
I'm feeling a bit hopeless atm. like the light at the end of the tunnel might just be a train XD

Hugs Lyddy you can do it sweetie..

Just paniking about college... I try lol hopefully my holiday will clear things up even if i am wondering about that as well

^^ Dont worry i'm sure you will get through college, not long to go! :)

I feel really bad, i want to cut again, i just cant make the anxiety go away.

Impossible for me to sit back and tell you not to cut, but just remember it does more harm than good in the long run. :( Is there anything else that's capable of relieving your anxiety? Music? A long run/walk?

My dad came down to my room and basically made me feel like crap, as per usual. I think it's becoming a pre-bedtime routine...

Don't let your dad get to you, tune him out. I can relate to the whole dad making me feel like crap. And you don't deserve whatever it is he says or does to make you feel bad. Hang in there. :)

I'm having a difficult time, I have to transfer colleges due to finances. I HATE being the new kid. I HATE making new friends. And I'm stressed about grades, so much pressure on stupid numbers that mean NOTHING in the real world!

i know how you feel being the new kid D: and i nearly had to drop out of uni over finances so i know how that feels too
*hugs* it always gets better. i used to have no friends, srsly, none, and now i have friends. its like, woah, i have friends!

focus on the work you have to do, and youll get the best grade you can =] i have to hand in some work today, fingers crossed its good enough!

I am sure that it is good enough- good luck with it!

Generally I feel pretty down today. I had a terrible dream last night and it still scares me, plus I'm exhausted and feeling nauseous and ill :/

Aw i'm really sorry your still scared, maybe try and do something to take your mind off it, watch some tv, go out with friends? Hope the nightmare goes away x

I feel sad today, but better then i did in the morning at least...

It's good that the day's getting a bit better. Is there anything fun you can do to make sure this evening is good too? What made you sad earlier?

I'm waiting to find out whether my flight is going to be able to go tomorrow evening and I think I'm a bit nervous about it. Done nothinng all day and the only person I've seen is my sister. Just feeling so empty and yuk. Gonna go to the gym soon which is about the only focus to my days right now but I'm worried that might be becoming a bit obsessive.

The flight is out of your control, so try not to worry too much. Refocus the gym on being something to enjoy, have a bit of fun, rather than obsess over?

Im stressing about going back to school. People >.<

I don't really know what to say.. But please take those *hugs*. I hope you'll be okay.

I'm actually doing pretty well. ^^ In the past 73 days I haven't SI'd at all and although I did have some urges earlier today, I still kept fighting. :D

well done =] if thats you in your avatar, youre hot XD

im tired, but i still feel a little manic =D woo! keep an eye on me, lol

Hope you regain some energy soon :)

I'm struggling a bit tonight, trying to remind myself that I don't want to go back to how I was.

That's the way to go! Being positive is hard, but worth it :).

I'm just struggling with some bad feelings tonight, but I was super excited to see that my little idea (which I was somehow convinced would be immediately rejected) is working out!

I love when that happens! It's the little things that make me go to sleep smiling. :]

However, that's not the case now. Because I was absent 4/5 days last week, and grades went in Friday, I could be ineligable just because of the fact that I don't have enough time to make up three tests, a few quizzes, and a bunch of other daily work or homework.

It's extremely triggering, but I know that my cutting is ruining my health. It's got to the point where I'm probably turning severely anemic.

*hugs* you having a lot of pressure on you...but I hope this situation works out soon and you can count on me :)



yesterday wasn't good...I had to take the swine flu vaccine, because it was the last day of free shots for people who is between 20-29 years old...and I hate needles, I have a huge neddle phobia that keeps me from doing blood tests and taking vaccines (it might seem a stupid fear and maybe gives the impression I am acting like a 3 year old child...)

the fact is I got so anxious when I got to the nursery, that I got dizzy, pale, it was difficult for me to breath and I almost threw up in the nursery (I had to go running to the bathroom)...I got the f.... shot and after that my anxiety levels went to the roof to the point of the nurse call someone to take me home, but I got out of there before her return (if I stayed there for 5 minutes more, I would faint...)

the result: I got detached from everything for the entire afternoon and when I came back to myself, as the vaccine side effects, I had this huge headache and my left arm hurts so much and I am having chills all the time (and my father complained with me because I didn't change my sister's diaper and when I said to him it was because I can't lift my arm he thought I was being silly and said the side effects only appear one day after I took the shot...seriously? It looks like I am lying and, well, even he being a mechanics technician he knows more than the nurse, right?)

*hugs* im scared of blood (yes, i know, retarded SHer. i used to cut and then pass out.) so i know how you feel, all pathetic and dizzy, and the nurse hasn't even got to you yet XD its okay, everyones scared of something, and parents always insist they know more about everything than you.

the other day i saw my ex boyfriend, whos just got out of rehab. lol. thats a secret, but you dont know me irl so its okay. anyway he was telling me how awesome i am to have my life sorted, and its nice that i seem sorted, but i feel lost and out of control and ashamed that i cut, and pathetic that i cant get better, i mean, hes got himself of some srs drugs, and i cant even stop hurting myself. i did get off some light drugs, though. *attempt at smile* man, im such a downer D:

*hugs*

It's great that you got off those drugs though. :)

Oh, and sadly it's not me, it's Emilie Autumn. :D She's awesome.


I have been looking for the blade I'd hidden a few weeks ago today, and I found it after an hour or so. So tempted to use it now.

Hey sorry about whats triggering you, can you try some distractions? Maybe try and get out of the house and away from the blade. PM me if you want to talk. Stay safe xxx

I'm feeling really anxious, i keep getting waves of it. I just want to feel better and calm and relaxed :[

What usually calms you down?
You could try something physical like a run, or some other exercise.
Or something arty can be quite calming, like painting or simple crafts.
The right music always works for me. I lie down with it in the dark, and deep breathing sometimes helps too.
Sorry for the uselessness >.< Hope you feel calmer.

I feel like i could cry forever & don't know what to do :crying:

hi YellowLemon. i'm sorry you're feeling low. why do you feel like crying?
sometimes when i feel low it helps to watch something funny. or if that'd make things worse i write down how i feel and let myself cry. *hugs*

i'm one day back at school and i hate it and myself already. just want to cut it all away.

*hug* I know how you feel, stick some random music on and start dancing madly, or get some paper and scribble every negative thought on it and rip it up into tiny pieces :)

I feel so low, i actually hate myself and I pretty much don't want to do this whole thing they call 'life' :crying: all i seem to do is sleep and still feel tired or cut and hate myself more :/

*hugs* i know how you feel. i have bdd, so pretty much hate myself a lot.

my best friend invited me to dinner to make me feel better, but its on friday, and im going to stupid training weekend. my life always gets in the way of itself, all the good things happening on the same day D: and im signed up to the crappest thing

Sorry your missing dinner, could you maybe rearrange it for another day? Also about the training weekend, you might be signed up for something really boring but try and make the most of it, just interact with the other people, make a laugh out of the boring stuff, and listen to music in the really boring bits. Also something me and my friends do, i know this isnt the same situation but if we know we are going somewhere really boring we will take a camera with and just spend the whole time taking pictures, it makes everything much better. sorry if im just being useless.. Hope your ok today :)


I failed. I always fail, im so scared im not gonna get my grades and i wont get my place in uni. I have to get into uni. I hate exams and school, i just want to drop out.

i'm crappy at advice, so sorry.
but i bet you arn't a 'failure', i don't think you are :)
-hugs you- try to not drop out - i betcha you'll do great. ♥

low mood is back again and it's hit me hard. reallyreallyreally want to overdose. urgh.

Don't give in, keep fighting, think of everything you have to live for *hug* hope you're okay xx

I want to cut so badly, but everyone's getting suspicious. It was boiling and i had to do pe in a long sleeved top and everyone kept asking why. I hate the questions it makes everything so hard, and i can't deal with the panic attacks either anymore.

*hugs* Please try and fight the urges, there is a way out of the darkness.. can you tell anyone about the SI? It made me feel calmer about the prospect of people possibly finding out when I told someone..


My brother took something && is now in hospital :crying:, and I can't talk about it with anyone

awwww *hugs* hes in hospital, so hell get better. and if you cant talk to anyone, talk to RYL - we dont know you! PM me if you want to talk. =]

i fell off the wagon. via cakes. ha.

Havent been great.
But its like there's nothing to talk about.

Kind of like you're depressed but you can't pinpoint what's causing it?

That's kind of how I am. Depressed and planning to self injure tonight. I know it sounds bad, but when I have my mind set on it, it'll happen unless I just fall asleep from exhaustion. So I guess you can say I'm not doing to great myself. (+ religion issues that makes me want to bury my head in fluff and never come up.)

i hope you don't/didn't SI. is it possible for you to keep yourself occupied until you're too tired to do it? is there anyone you can talk to about the religion stuff?

it's 2 and a half weeks since i SIed and i'm feeling it. i'm meant to be stopping but debating whether it's worth it.

Ahaa, I had the same problem myself a few days ago. Think about the reasons that you aren't SHing and concentrate on them. It's the whole, if you've gone two and half weeks then you can go two and a half more. Keep focussing on the positive :)

I'm in a very conflicting place right now. I want help but at the same time, I don't deserve it.

You always deserve help even if you cant see that. Dont let it stop you from getting help, i promise you deserve it and even if you dont believe me its true. xx

I have anxiety again. hate this, hate my life, want to get as far away from here as i possibly can.

I know what you mean. Maybe try drinking a hot cup of tea or coffee? That sometimes helps me relax.

I don't know but i have been si free for over a year now, But for no reason at all i want to hurt myself? It's been getting worse over the week. What am i going to do! =(

im sorry, congrats on being a year free, thats great :)
Is there something in particular triggering you, could you talk to someone about it? Pm me if you need :)

I cant seem to do any of my work, i think im gonna fail everything.. hmmph..

Can you sit down and do an hour now? *hugs* Motivation can be so hard to come by.

I had such a bad night last night... alcohol induced emotion I think. I hate letting people that side of me. I feel terrible.

*hugs* im either a happy drunk that hugs people, and falls asleep, or a sad drunk that cries and hurts myself D: so i know how you feel, apologising and thanking people in the morning.

just feeling a little exhausted, finishing work and handing it in. only just big enough a stress to go here.

Doing work sucks, but after its done and over with then its a huge load off your plate. :)

I don't even know what mood I'm in, stressed, anxious and scared, because my mom almost found my SH last night but she was far enough that she thought it was a rash. >.<"

*hugs* itll be okay. i guess now you have incentive to either SH in a smaller area of yourself, if that makes sense, or to SH in an otherwise less noticeable way. i was just saying in another thread, its always easier when you have a reason to motivate you. =]

done all my work, i think my boyfriends nearly done all his work, everythings a lot more relaxed now. *sigh* im feeling so much less anxious. still not "free" but getting closer to it XD

I know that was a while ago, but how are you coping now?

I feel very 'not good enough' today.

Im sorry your not feeling good enough today *hug* you ARE good enough though, try to ignore the negitivity and focus on things you love about yourself.
-------------

Im feeling really overwhelmed. Im feeling really stressed out about a course\job im trying to get, and I have just moved and trying to unpack as well.. also my dad called me some pretty horrible names while he was using. Just a bad day in general :(

It's a harsh deal to be struggling with so much stress from so many directions at once. It's hard enough to be dealing with the one-two of job stress and a new move. Adding in trouble with your family makes it even more difficult; when things are emotionally bad at home, that really makes it a challenge to concentrate, or to keep yourself motivated. Maybe it would help you to organize your duties into a list? Sorting things out into a linear list in order of importance and/or time management sometimes really helps.

I'm sorry that your dad was cruel to you. *hugs* Just remember that whether he meant it or it was something else talking, not everyone feels that way. Don't give his comments too much weight, okay?

--

This has been bothering me for some time. I've been fighting with my best friend since the end of January, and a couple of months ago we finally had such a bad argument that we stopped spending time together or talking at all. The fighting with him has been a big part of the reason my SI has gotten so much worse since the beginning of this year, and without going into tiresome detail, that last fight left me a mess in more ways than one. Recently, though, he sent me an email, writing me an apology and saying he wanted to start talking and spending time together again. I'm torn: on the one hand he's been my best friend for almost twelve years, and I love him a lot, so I want to talk to him again. But on the other hand, I know that it won't be the same. I don't know if I can trust him again, and I certainly don't want any part of his other friends. I'm not sure if it's safe to follow what I want to do this time.

That sounds so difficult Pierrot! I can imagine that would be incredibly stressful & triggering for you. It definitely would be for me. It's hard to know what advice to give without knowing the details. If he has a long a history of making you feel shitty and doesn't seem to have changed then he's probably not worth your time. But on the other hand if he was just going through a hard time or something even good people have bad moments, and he deserves your forgiveness and understanding. And a friendship of that long isn't something to give away lightly. Maybe you could just take things slow with him? Tell him something like what you told us, that you love him and want to talk to him, but that you are still hurt and that you don't want to hang around his other friends. Maybe there is a middle ground between going back to the relationship you had and not talking at all?

---

I slipped up last night, for the first time in nearly three months. It sucks. Twice, actually. I cut some, called a friend and freaked out for a hour, then went back to work. I hate that I lost control, and yet somehow I'm mad that I wasn't able to do nearly as much damage as I wanted to, despite my best efforts. And I never really satisfied myself either. I wanted to do so much more after I stopped. Putting down that knife was one of the hardest things I've done in a really long time.

*bump*

relapse is okay sweetie. it's all part of recovery. 3 months is amazing, you should be really proud of yourself for that! well done for putting away the knife, that was a huge step and must've took a lot of courage. i'm really proud of you! take care. xx


i keep wanting to lie in therapy about my self-harm because it's not why i'm there in the first place. she offered help and i said no, but really, i actually need it..

Oh hun, I know exactly how it feels to lie about needing help for SH but if you think that you do need it maybe it's worth being brave and trying. You can always bring it up with your therapist again and say you've changed your mind.

***********
I keep thinking of things I need to do and then I remember that I can't do them yet because I'm not sure of what's going to happen. I have a psych appt tomorrow and I don't think any of my plans will change but I can't be 100% sure until the appt is over. I'm so scared.

Don't be scared hun. Things will work out. Just wait and see what happens. You'll get through this. :)

-bump- :)