*hugs Yodabear and Kelly*

Hi Yodabear I'm Oliver. how are you?

Hi Oliver, I'm Matt. I have this feeling we have crossed paths before on here somewhere :)

Meh. Probably going to go to bed soon. Bouncing around between a bit of psychosis and reality isn't helping things at the moment, plus I cried earlier which I guess helped when no one was home.

Hi Matt, yeah I think we have crossed paths before. I hope going to bed and getting some sleep helps. I'm just about to go for a run, at nearly 3am! but I like going when no one is around as I'm really paranoid that people are going to kill me.

I can sort of understand that too Oliver, in the sense that I am paranoid of people as well to a part. Sleeps well, I am off to bed myself. *hugs*

Night Matt *hugs*

god its 6am here and I'm still wide awake, cant bloody sleep

*hugs oliver* I hope you get to sleep soon. I always drink a hot chocolate or warm milk with honey when I can't sleep.

*Curls up*

*Hugs Serenity*

*Hugs Charlie*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs YodaBear*

*Hugs Kelly*

*Hugs Oliver*

Thanks everyone for your concern , I am safe , I want to bath but am worried I'll open my stomach cuts up, They're not deep enough to rewuire attention but I feel stupid :S

*Cuddles Mark*

*hugs mark*
if you put less water in the tub and sit the cuts wont soak, right?

I dabbed at them but didn't really clean the injured area and it didn't seem to make them bleed much again , I Feel so stupid , and what am I going to do today? I'm already ugly enough and I just add scar after scar and I can't help myself :(

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Charlie*

How is everyone?

*huggles all*

Sorry I've been so quiet - I've had the startings of another week from hell. Things really haven't stopped since I got home from hospital. I am ... extremely over it. It doesn't help that I'm depressed and suicidal. But I guess I just have to "pull my socks up and get over it". By the way that was my parents suggestion. I don't normally wish someone dead, but I'm changing that rule for my parents. I've had enough of being treated like sh*t whilst my older brother and sister get everything they want from my parents handed to them on a silver platter.

*Squishes Kahlia* I'm sorry you are having such a rough time Hun :S

So my Dad comes to see me for a second consecutive day , and Tries to open the door to MY flat , my HOME andlet himself in , FFS I had the chain on I could be shirtless , injuring , in the bath anything! Is it reasonable for me to be pissed off ?

I'd be pissed off too, Mark. It's invading your space.

I had the housing inspection this morning and passed so i'll hopefully be getting an official offer of a house move very soon.

*hugs all* my friend who I'm staying with who is also trans is planning on coming out to her mum in a bit, her parents dont know I'm trans and she is going to tell them, cos atm they just think I'm a guy. I'm anxious.

*Hugs Oliver* Good Luck Mate .

*Hugs Lindsay* Congratulations Hun:) !

*Cuddles everyone*

*hugs all* my friend didnt do it, I feel so bad for her, its one of the hardest things to do. this time last year I came out to my mum and I remember how hard it is to just do it.

congrats on passing the inspection Lindsey

Mark I'm sorry your dad is invading your space, that is really is crap *hugs*

I'm sorry your having a tough time Kahlia *hugs*

*hugs Charlie* how are you?

*Hugs Oliver* Feeling a bit empty, but otherwise ok. You?

*Hugs Charlie*

*Hugs Oliver*

*hugs Charlie* feeling ill, I've ran out of meds as my doctor gives them to me in weekly dosages and I see her tomorrow, but one of them has severe withdrawal symptons.

*hugs Mark*

What meds are you withdrawing from Oliver? , If it's Effexor I've done that :S

*gives everyone hugs*

Kahlia -- I can def sympathize with that, cause my parents do that all the time in my family, except its my younger siblings XD

This week is not going well, it really sucks. I hate it when people tell me "I'm here if you need me" and aren't when i need them most... then complain at me when i end up hurting myself. WTH

its venlafaxine, I will get it again tomorrow, but its just making me feel so sick not having it.

my friend is coming with me when I go to the doctors and counselling tomorrow, I'm sort of glad as last week when I was at the doctors I had a big panic attack and ended up in hospital cos I thought everyone was going to kill me, but at the same time I'm a bit meh about her coming. I feel I need some space

*hugs everyone*
It is reasonable to expect some privacy in your own home, Mark.
Oliver, I'm glad she's there for you and like wise that you can be there to understand and help her with her transition. *offers mint tea to help not feel so ill*
Congrats on passing inspection, Lindsay.
sorry everyone, that's all the individuals I can recall after catching up on all the pages...

*hugs everyone*

I have not been sleeping still not, having nightmares.

"I'm proud of you" WTH does that mean? I tried talking to one of my friends that knows and thats what i get? No wonder i shut up XD

Some days I love my job other days I hate working here. :(
I found out that everyone got a slip to fill out for staff appreciation day (on what they pick for food)... everyone but me. I picked up the one on the shelf by the mail drop and filled it in anyhow. I am part of the staff damn it! I refuse to be pushed out of participating. On the other hand I just want to sit and cry... I spent all of last week covering the front desk, on tuesday afternoon my office got thrashed and i'm still cleaning it all up, the head boss is the only one that seems to notice or care and everyone else i just get bitched at from. It makes me want to quit. And I probably would if it weren't for the fact I'm buying a house and I have kids that rely on me. FML.
On to a better topic to mayhaps make my mood better...
*~advanced warning for WoW-speak~*
I finally got a character to lvl 50!! It's not so much that it's hard as much as I usually get bored with them and start a new toon around lvl 20 or 30... and even when they don't get tiresome I sometimes just can't be bothered to even play... :)

And I got 3 new records to use in my phonograph thanks to T doing a spring cleaning :D

*Curls up*

*hugs Charlie* What's up, hun?

*hugs Crimson, Matt, Charlie and Louise*

Crimson I'm really sorry to hear about your work place. can you talk to the head boss about it as he seems to care.


i flipped earlier, went for a walk to try and calm down, but ended up nearly jumping off a bridge and having a breakdown in the woods, I just want to bloody die, this mental agony is too much

*Hugs Crimson*
It's alright. You've got enough on your plate.

*sneaks in and leaves hugs and cake for everyone*
Yeah you heard me, cake. Cause I'm making a cake for tonight. :)

*Checks in, walks through the door & greets everyone. Sits in the common room snuggles under a duvet*

*hugs Oliver, Charlie and Felicia*
She does but she's not my boss, she's the lead attorney. I had a discussion with my boss a little before (like 2 business days) my office got thrashed so I think that (since my office's rumor mill is worse than grade school) word traveled to the offending parties of our discussion and my office was revenge. All my boss does is apologize and change nothing... *shrugs* even if I could and did quit it'd not change much... I've worked in 6 places and had issues with the people in all of them. (sexual harassment, passed over for a mgmt position -that i'd been training for, a person with no experience got it- because I wasn't cute enough, a boss that tried to take a portion of tips and didn't legally pay appropriately for overtime, a pissed off coworker -when her friend left the business i took the position and got paid higher than she did-, one coworker thought i'd report them to the cops because unlike them I don't smoke marijuana, etc, etc...) At least in this job I have an office away from everyone and can hide in it.

No worries Charlie. Might distract me :)

Felicia, No cal cake? What flavor?

*waves at Epona* I'm Crimson. *offers hugs*

*hugs everyone*

Was feeling ok earlier on and wanted to cut .. now feel like crap and i want to cut more ...not sure what has triggered me ..

*hugs Serenity*

Crimson, of course a no cal cake! And I'm making red velvet cake for tonight, but I do requests :)

*hugs everyone and disappears back in the kitchen*

I *hug all my Wardies*
Hey Epona :)

Oooooooooooooooooo.. Cherry chunk? In a teddy bear shape?
*Hugs Felicia and Mark*

*hugs everyone in here*

I feel worse than earlier *sighs*

Cake? did someone say cake?

Do you know what has made you feel worse than earlier?

Me like cake :)

I like cake too :laugh:

My friends and family are making me feel worse... and its making me not care about whats going on with me very much

*hugs everyone* i'm not so sure i belong here anymore.. I hardly ever post and when i do its just throwing up some hugs for everyone. I feel bad. Sorry everyone for not being the best wardie...

*huggles all*

Hello once again. Sometimes the phrase FML is so true...

Laura: You are not a bad wardie. We all have times where we only post hugs occasionally. If you feel that you don't need to come in here we will miss you, (or at least I will) but we will understand. There are times when we need incredible amounts of support and other times we are ready and able to tackle life on our own. We'll always be here to support you if required though. :-)

*hugs all*

Epona: love love love your name. Celtic horse goddess.
sorry... not in a mood to respond indiviually.

*curls up* I think I properly lost it

*Hugs everyone*

Hows everyone doing?