Cool Helen :)

Darn this Depression , Just as I picked up a little moodwise and I feel low now . *Sigh*

hugs mark. sorry wish it was more. really getting pissed off now. want to get drunk, anything to just not feel for a couple of hours. i know that stuiped. just really glad there are people here and in the house right now, would not be safe if i was by myself right now. curls up and hides. =[

It's good that you have people around you Jill:)

*sigh* I'm scared about tomorrow :(

*Hugs Sarah* I'm sure it will go smoothly Sarah Hun :)

I hope so. I hate needles, thats my main issue right now. Not only that but I have an injection this evening too. Grr.

Oohh thats totally understandable Sarah :S *Hugs*

Hey. I'm alive.

Sorry, no way I can catch up. There's been about 20 pages.

LIa! *Hugs* How are you ? Have you been busy ?

*cuddles Mark* thanks.

*snuggles Lia* how have you been?

*Hugs Mark and Sarah* Not really. I just do this sometimes. For no real reason, I want to talk to no one. I'm a strange being.

How are you both?

I'm attempting to revise psychology,but I keep arguing with the text book and shouting at the researchers for having stupid names and methods. I think I am slightly stressed.

I'm distinctly Up and Down today Lia . I know the feeling of just wanting your own company sometimes :S

I'm being a massive scaredy pants about tomorrow Lia. Heh. Endoscopy for me.

Urgh. Good luck with it Sarah :)

Hope you're up at the moment Mark.

Ironically, I am desperately trying to remember the section on memory, and gettting stressed revising stress.

Heh , that is ironic Lia .

Wish I'd never taken this stupid subject. It's not that I can't do it, more that it's boring and stressful and there are so many flamming case studies and I have to do well because it's what's always been expected and it's the only way I am good enough. My family don't know I write and would think it's a waste of time if I did so grades are all I have to offer. But it's not good enough, I'm never good enough. I can't be perfect in everything and I know she's disappointed.

*Hugs Lia Tons*

*cuddles Lia* I know the feeling. I no longer want to continue with maths but instead work in veterinary nursing, but my mum wouldn't accept it.

I wish I could spend more than 10 minutes off the toilet >:( this is getting painful, all my abdomen is swollen and everything but its all normal

*Squishes Sarah* I'm sorry that you are having problems hun :(

*Night time Hugs My Wardies*
<3

*Hugs Mark* night night.

What exactly is an endoscopy Sarah?

Thanks so much Helen n Mark! I'm not really new. I've been around for several months, just hardly ever get up the nerve to post. I really appreciate everyone always being so welcoming!

Night Mark *cuddles*

Lia - its a camera passing through my bowel and intestines, then in a seperate procedure tomorrow having the same with my throat and stomach. *cuddles*

Edit: Hey Solo, how you feeling hun?

*curls up in ball* feeling very disconnected today :(

Struggling a lot lately Sarah. The last couple days have been really hard. I'm tryin hard to resist urges!

*Hugs everyone*
*Curls up.*

*hugs back* welcome home to the ward.

*Hugs Nicole, Sarah, Elaine and Kelly*

How are you Nicole?

Sounds...erm...fun Sarah. My friend had that done once, she has bladder problems. I'll be thinking of you.

It's really good you're trying to resist the urges Elaine. Keep going :)

Sorry you're not good today Kelly. I get disconnected when I'm tired, and it's weird. I don't think I like it very much, it's almost as if I have no control over what I say and do, although it's still me doing it, and I'm not a danger or anything.

*Hugs lia* Welcome back hun.
I feel crap :( i'm so low today it's unbeleivable. I don't think I can do this anymore :( *cries*

to me it feels like i'm watching my life happening rather than being a part of it. it doesn't feel real at all. :(

hugs all. curls up in the corner and hides

seems like a lot of us are hiding in corners today... good thingthe ward has lots of them ;)

*hugs shadowedsoul* hiding sounds good to me too.

Kelly, we sure do have an unlimited amount of corners, just for that reason ;) After all, it's magical in here yay ^_^ We also have a denial tent but nobody's used it in months, got forgotten about again lol!

*cuddles everybody lots*

denial sounds like a good place to be right now... sadly I can't be that delusional about my reality o.O

*dissappears into the shadows of the darkest corner* i hate feeling like this... it scares me... :(

*cuddles Kelly* Want to talk sweetheart?

<3 :).

not really sure... honestly i'm just kinda blah... i'm just scared cuz this feeling of being disconnected is how it started last time things got really bad for me...

i used to black out and si and not even remember doing it... i'm scared of that happening again....

*cries*

HI Heather

Kelly, have you ever spoken to anyone about that? Sounds quite worrying x

dang it... i have to take off long enough to fix dinner... the kids are getting hungry... i'll be back on in a bit :(

not since i quit going to therapy 6 yrs ago... i haven't talked to anyone since i relapsed... no one will take me w/out insurance ...

Try enjoy cooking their food. That sucks nobody will take you without insurance :( America sounds sucky when it comes to healthcare =/ Least we can have ours free :|

*Hugs Nicole* You can do this. You've hung on this long.

*Hugs Jill.* I've missed you :) You alright?

*Hugs Helen, Heather and Kelly*

In that case, I am a permenent resident of the denial tent. I think I will move in.

hugs everbody.
hi lia, i missed you too. erm not great at the sec. =[

Liiiiia, I've missed you my love. I remember attempting to revise for my psychology exams when I did it at AS level. I hardly did any & failed ha. Sadly had to have that result on my 18th birthday & try not to get upset :/ *cuddles*

*Hugs Helen* Hey :) Sorry I've not been in. I do that sometimes. Just don't wanna talk to anyone.

*HUgs Jill tight* What's the matter?

erm really want to hurt myself. everthing is really screwed up right now. and i think im about to get screwed over again. trying to distract myself on facebook and talking on here. really want my mind to stop screaming at me to hurt myself.
hey solo and ljmeep welcome,im jill. sorry for not saying before mind has been all over the place.

That's okay honey :) Sometimes we all just want to be alone.

i'm back... on the plus side I'm not disconneted anymore... on the negative i'm pissed!

my 3 yr old just ruined a brand new bottle of nail polish, a new lip stick and spilt it all over in the bag with the rest of my new makeup in it.

I was able to save most of it, but ugh! that's frustrating!

Argh My ****ing Laptop Is Doing My ****ing Head In Grrrrrrr