XDD!!! Nice to see you so exhuberant, Helen! *Hugs back*

*jumps on Dayna*

I am shattered but so ****ing hyper :D

*Catches* XDD!!!

It's already the worst beginning of a year I've ever had.
I went to the party and no one wanted to talk to me, so I just put on a happy face and talked to whoever was free. Then my boyfriend said he wouldn't kiss me at midnight because we're 'not together', and my best friend ignored me throughout the whole night.
Everyone was doing coke. So I thought 'okay, i'll stay awake by doing coke and then someone will actually talk to me'.
I took the coke and threw up all the floor and my trousers.
So I had to walk home because everyone thought I was too drunk, and I was too embarrsed to stay after I'd thrown up on the floor. Even though I cleaned it up and appologised to my friend.
She came running down the street saying 'I thought you'd left without saying goodbye' And I said 'I thought you'd be pissed off with me coz I puked on your floor'. And she said 'of course i am'. Said goodbye to my boyfriend, who was walking me home, and went home.
So basically I'm going to go harm myself because I'm the worst person who ever exsisted.

*hugs Zowie* You are not the worst person who ever existed...
The people at the party were incredibly rude to you... please try and stay safe.

*hugs Helen* Glad to see you so excited!

Emma - hope that things go well for you at your friends house!

Hey Dayna, how are things going?

I made a thread. I AM the worst person. No one wants to spend time with me, not even my dad.

Zowie: x__o Not really sure what to say there, I'm afraid *hugs instead*

Ravyn: Meh. Triggered. Lonely. Again >_<. You?

Zowie: *hugs* I saw your thread and replied... take care

Dayna: *hugs* ugh for triggeredness.. I hope it passes for you soon.. I'm doing alright now, although quite sleepy, was super-triggered early but didn't have the opportunity to act on it and thankful it's passed for now.. It's gotta be late there?

Zowie, you are not the worst person in the world! I think you were really brave going to the party and it is completely understandable wanting to be more sociable. Your friends sound like they are the ones with the problem tonight, not you. It could be the coke, alcohol, anything, but what happened does not make you a bad person or responsible in any way, shape or form. I can't explain why your Dad wouldn't come. Maybe he doesn't realise how you are feeling? Or maybe in his head he is trying to ensure you don't become too dependant for your own sake? I don't know and can't say without knowing him. But try and think about it logically....he has supported you through all of this and he is your dad. Why would he suddenly stop caring now? I don't think he would, it doesn't make sense.

You are doing fantastically well and I have so enjoyed reading about your strength against SI the last few weeks. Please try and keep going. Don't let one bad night taint what you have worked so hard for.

Ravyn: *Hugs back* Yeah, I'm tryna distract myself. Not having a whole lot of luck so far, though. Glad to hear that you're not doing too bad, though. And it's late-ish here, I guess. 3:21am, although with my sleeping pattern, it's still early for me, lol

*sits by Danya so you aren't quite so alone* Sorry you are feeling triggered *offers hugs*

I know I am currently talking to you Helen, but I am glad to see you so energetic and happy! I hope this sets the tone for your 2009 x

How are you Ravyn? Is it new year in Canada yet? *offers hugs*

*Hugs Emma back* ^___^ And sorry to see you're not feeling too hot, either x_o

Thanks for the hugs Dayna and Emma.

Dayna - 3:21 am is early for you and it's 10:32 pm now for me and I think it's late.. :)

Emma - not New Years yet... don't know if I'll manage to stay awake for another 1.5 hours [lol, I typed years first... definitely sleepy]. How are you doing now?

ooh.. forgot to add...

*lots of hugs for everyone*

Ravyn: xD Well I say we're just awesome like that, lol

Ravyn: NYE is over rated in my opinion lol. If you are sleepy get some rest :)

I am feeling a bit more stable actually. It was quiet which was good and I think it was a good distraction. Had some drama both there and when I got home but trying not to think about it. Thanks for asking though, sounds sad but it means a lot.

Is there anyway you could manage to sleep now Danya to keep yourself safe?

Emma: Glad to hear you're feeling more stable now. And while I am tired, I'm not actually tired enough to sleep <__<;;. My sleeping pattern is really ****ing fail at times

That sucks Danya! hmmm....I don't actually have anything useful to say...I just realised but I really genuinely do hope the urges subside for you.