*hugs ian* i love your pic! glad that you enjoyed your tea. hope you are doing alright.

*hugs felicia* sounds like you are having a rough time right now hun. PM box is always open if you need to vent.

*hugs helen* sorry you weren't feeling great and that you felt ignored in here :-/ Hope you managed to get some rest.

*hugs kaytee* Glad that you are doing okay tonight. *offers some of the virtual cookies i baked earlier*

*hugs kahlia* you can give in hun. Please try to keep fighting this. How did you appointment go?

*waves to owen* you doing okay? You have been very helpful with distractions today: nemo, popcorn, flowers for people. I'll say thanks for everyone :-)

um... to let you guys know. I appreciate any hugs I can get. Tomorrow is going to be an extremely hard day for me. November 12 holds a great amount of significance for me. I don't think I'm even going to leave the apartment tomorrow because I'm afraid anxiety and whatnot will be too high if I leave. *sigh* I don't know. Its just going to be hard.

aww thanks owen! i know hugging is hard for you and i really appreciate it.

*Hugs Helen* I didn'y mean to not reply , sorry , so much more on my mind , sorry.

*Waves to Owen*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Kaytee*

*Hugs Felicia*

Hey Julie , How are you? *Hugs and spots*

sorry i've been drifting in and out but owen has been out like all day i'm tired how r u mark?

I'm coping okay this morning thanks Julie . My Social worker rang when he said he would at 9.15am (Whilst I was brushing my teeth heh) , I'm a bit worried as I'm not meeting anyone today for the first time since our bereavment :S hmm

*Sits and waves to Owen*

I miss April on here :(

Hi all,
I don't want to live with my family anymore and I'm looking for a new home.
Can I move in here please?

*Hugs Mute.scream if okay* Of course you can stay with us :)

Thanks.
I really don't want to live with those people anymore.
They bought 'special food' for my cat.
They are going to kill it.
I don't want to be here anymore.

:( What are they feeding your cat ? I hope you are safe . My name is Mark :)

Hi Mark *waves*
I don't know what exactly they are going to feed her, but it is going to kill her.
I have to get out of the house..
I'll be back later tonight.

I'm Laura

*waves to Laura* Be safe .

I got 11th on curveball in the arcade :)

I rang one of the women who run the group I go to to say I wasn't able to attend next Thursday as it's my Grandmas Funeral so thats done. I'm finding it hard with no meetings today, and it's raining so I can't even go out without getting wet ,crap . I have "Thankyou for my Birthday presant" cards to post .

11th on curvball is great.

Hope the weather is better for you soon, so you can go outside and dont have to do the thank you cards :P

I've written the cards , now for an opening in the weather to post them , tomorrow morning I hope ..........

*HUUUUUUUUUGS Lindsay* Oh Hun , I'm so sorry you are feeling so wretched , Is there anything you can do to cheer yourself up? Put on A Thousand Suns by Linkin Park, Thats in your signature so I guess it means something to you, put that on loud / quiet (Whatever suits) and run a bath and put maybe put bubbles in it and and just feel the warm water and listen to the music .

*hugs all* I'm out of hospital at last, I ended up taking the pills before I went in. Got the crisis team coming to my flat tomorrow, I'm scared don't know what to expect.

*HUUUUUUUUUGS Oliver* Are you okay , physically, with the pills and all? The Crisis Team are only going to be looking out for you , they are probably concerned . I am worried about you too .

yeah the hospital said medically I'm fine, even though I had to have a heart scan cos of a dodgy result, but it was fine. But I felt really ill when I went in and yesterday, feeling better now though, but still a bit ill.

*hugs* how are you doing? I'm sorry to hear about your grandma

Thankyou Oliver *Hugs* I'm Numb today , Just..........Numb , I've had no person to person support so I've been a bit lost, trying to keep bust , planning getting materials to make a display of fishing flies , So all over the net looking for dense foam , but it kept me busy .
Oliver , if you feel the need to take many pills again PM me and I'll try and get back to you as soon as possible.
I'm too nervous to use the live chat support on RYL , How stupid! :S

I am so anxious about signing up for classes Tuesday. I keep watching my British Literature survey fill up and I need it. I need it, so I'm getting more and more anxious and stressed and angry, cause it's all my fault I couldn't sign up earlier. If I hadn't done so bad freshman year. Damn.

*Hugs Felicia*

Thanks, Mark.

I need to stop venting senselessly.

It's not senseless Felcia , We are all here to help each other the best we can , feel free to vent/yell/rant/verbally vomit whatever , we are all here for us all (Make Sense ?)

*curls up*

sorry.

*Hugs Laura* Whats up ?

They gave the 'special food' to the cat.
Now they are waiting till she dies and I can't do anything about it.
I don't know what to do.

i um... well, i feel kinda weird. Today would have been my ex's and my 5 year anniversary, and with that anniversary marks the only time in 7 years that I've gone more than 4 months with no SI (which was 5 years ago)... funny, i actually thought i was free back then... It also feels weird to me that for the past 4 years this was a happy day, but now it just reminds me of a lot of things, related and unrelated to my ex, SI, and suicide attempts... For example, it also reminds me of how better off I am doing things for myself rather than for him or anyone else... which is a happier thought I suppose.... but its also strange for me... living for myself and trying to figure out life is not something i've ever experienced EVER, before the last 4 or 5 months.. so i guess i'm still getting used to it.

Just a lot of things rolling around in my head. Sorry I'm not replying individually, but I can barely concentrate. Selfish i know.

EDIT: Hi laura! i'm the other laura of the ward... we'll have to figure out a way to differentiate. we can go back to using laurastar i guess for me, like we used to do when laurafriend was here.

Can you look at the food container to find out what it is ?
Perhaps , if your cat gets sick take it too the vet.

Laura *Hugs* You are NOT selfish , not at all, you have a lot going on, today is SO significant for you , don't worry about not doing individuals , we are here for you .

If I take it to the vet then they'll just give more to it.
What's the point of taking it to the vet and get it healthy again when they'll just try to kill it again.
they said that they want to kill our other cat, too.

* Hi other Laura.. lol. If you come up with a nickname for me we can use that :) I don't have a nickname yet though.

<3 <3 <3

New Signature Heather ? As if I didn't know :P

Laura , hmmm a nickname , what would you like?

I don't know.
My mom sometimes calls me Lore or Laureley or something like that. dont know how to spell it.

Nice sig Heather.

Laura , My Sisters Friend Laura is called Laus , Pronounced "Laws".

thanks =] i was bored so i changed it =p

Laus is the german word for lice... but we pronounce it Lows (?)

How are you Heather?

like your sig heather, how are you

am ok i guess. sleepy and no motivation... which isnt good cuz loads to do next week ><

Mark, it's usually me who is on Live Help so there's no need to be nervous.

*hugs mark* thanks, its hard for me to talk... i'm trying to reach out some though. How r u?

*hugs laura* hmm.. a nickname.. well it won't be laus since that means lice lol. Is it okay if we use Lore like you suggested? Sorry i am bad at coming up with nicknames.

*hugs heather* im lacking motivation too :-/ you have harry potter in your sig! yay! lol

*hugs louise* how have you been?

*hugs lindsay* how r u? feeling any better than earlier hun? Here for you.

*spies oliver and hugs* i'm glad that you are okay and i'm very proud of you for going to the hospital.

*hugs other Laura* Yeah... Lore is OK. How do you pronounce it in english?

side note: my mom calls me Lauretta sometimes, she is the only person who has nicknames for me.