^go back lindsey? <3
*hug*

hmm... i try not to but blah.

I don't think I should go back, they're already annoyed with me because i'm there so ofter with SI or ODs. I don't even want to phone the Scottish health helpline because I phoned them twice yesterday.

Is there anything that is triggering the urges, Heather?

dont think so... which tbh is the most frustrating part =\

hmm but your health is more important than them being annoyed with you or not, and if they're annoyed then its wicked unprofessional of them <3

I understand. Urges can be so strange sometimes.

*curls up and yawns*
im just gonna sleep as long as humanly possible tomorrow.

if asleep, cant be bad >.<

I agree there.

:)

^^ Nice picture Heather

=] ^.^

hows you dear?

hey amy :)
how're you?

Hello everyone, how are you all today?

*Safe Hugs to the Ward*

*Waves to Owen*

Sorry I don't have many words this morning .

*hugs Mark* How are you doing?

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm feeling okay , getting frustrated with my computer as it just completely froze on me :S I ended up harming last night :( It will leave a obvious scar *sigh* Just one more for the collection :( I'm just , I don't know how to describe it , frustrated/upset/numb . sorry.
How are you now Lindsay? have the OD effects worn off at all?

I'm sorry you overdosed last night Lindsay and not feeling well & that you cut Mark *major hugs to both*

*hugs ward*

Mark, i'm sorry that you self harmed. Those are some awful feelings to be having. Please be gentle with yourself and let yourself experience them safely.

Helen, how are you?

I'm feeling a bit better but not entirely well yet. But, I am going to try and make a promise to myself that I will never self harm or overdose again. I don't need this.

Thats a REALLY positve thing to do Lindsay!! Good Luck :)

Thank you. I'm just tired of all of these scars and the trips to hospital. I don't know what i'm going to replace the behaviours with but i'll try to work on that with my psychologist. I'll probably need to rant to the ward a lot more!

Theres nothing wrong with ranting here , WE all do it heh , we are totally here for you :)

*huggles those who can accept them && waves at Owen*

Lindsay: Your promise to yourself is really positive, but please remember if you make a slip it doesn't have to mean the end of everything because slips happen. *offers positive vibe hugs*

*glomps Mark*: Sorry to hear you are having computer troubles and that you are having those feelings. I echo Lindsay and ask you to be gentle with yourself.

Helen: *cuddles*: How is college going? Any sign of that bus pass yet?

*waves at Amy*: How are you going?

*glomps Heather*: How are you doing sweetpea?

I'm still alive and kicking despite not wanting to be. Oh well. c'est la vie. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Cuddles all. Nevermind it doesn't matter,all is fine

Kahlia, glad you're still alive & kicking sweetheart. Really am. No sign of bus pass, going to phone them once I've been to the oh-so-thrilling (not) jobcentre =/ College is going well thank you =)

Lindsay, I'm okay I think despite a little pain. Had a really awesome night's sleep as I didn't have to be up at 7am!!

A woman from the local cmht just popped in , the first time anyone from there has been in touch since my SW was at my Psych meeting on August the 29th , then he badly hurt his leg , I was talking about suicide and my Lithium was increased by 200mg nd aside from weekly lithium blood tests I've had no support at all. She asked if everything is okay and I said Yes , I didn't want to mention My Self Injury to a complete stranger and it's true that my mood is less suicidal but I still get suicidal thoughts from time to time which I said to her . It was a bit out of the blue , she didn't phone me or write to say she was coming hmmm still at least it shows the cmht care a little I guess

Kahlia, I hope tomorrow is a much better day for you.

Jill, please talk to us. We care.

Helen, i'm glad you're ok and you managed to have a good sleep. Sleep is amazing :)

Mark, I wouldn't know what to think about that!

*tiptoes in and sits in a corner* :-/

*Scoots up beside April* How are you today?

*hugs April* whats up?
*hugs Mark*
*hugs everyone else*

*glomps Mark & Oliver*

Thanks for asking, you two... I dunno, I just... miss being here yet at the same time don't feel up to posting much of the time. :( I don't know what's the matter with me. I mean, it's classic bipolarity I guess, I don't know. I'm up one minute singing little stupid ditties then down the next feeling like doing nothing. Ever. :( I feel like I could sleep forever. I'm having trouble dragging myself out of bed in the mornings, and when I do, I'm exhausted even though I've slept probably 8-10 hours.

BUT, today we (my mum and I) are going spinning (wool) again. Woohoo. I was taking some pictures of the roving (what you make the yarn out of), the bobbin with my yarn on it, and then was going to take a picture of the skein of yarn that my mum and I plied together (purple and pink) but then my camera decided to up and die on me. And I have no idea where we have extra batteries. BAD CAMERA, BAD. >:( But that's what another knitting-and-yarn-freak friend of mine calls "yarn porn," lol... may be slightly inappropriate name-wise but I thought it was funny. ;) She asked me to post some photos of the stuff that we've been working on, so I decided that I would get some uploaded. Silly camera. >_< Anyway. So that ought to be fun.

And I really want some more gummy worms or some gummi bears or something... had a small bag of them that I got for $0.99 yesterday that I split with my husband... but I want MORE MORE MORE. Haha. It's been sooo long since I have had gummyish things that I just want to eat them allllll the time. I think I'm in a food crisis. :P Now instead of not eating healthily (i.e., not enough), I want UNHEALTHY food instead of healthy. Like salty stuff. REALLY SALTY STUFF. Like... erm... well, salty stuff. ANYTHING SALTY. I NEED SALT!!! :-X

Okies. I'll shut up now. :o

*hugs April* I know the feeling with missing the ward, but not up to posting much, I just come in and try to read everything but get so overwhelmed, I'm also sleeping a lot but want more all the time, it sucks.
That sounds fun all that wool spinning stuff, is it like a proper old spinning wheel or is it something modern?
ooo now I want something salty, infact I should probably eat as I havn't and its gone 2 in the afternoon

PS constructing a reply for FB April :)

Oliver, it's with an old-fashioned spinning wheel. ^_^ It's quite enjoyable, and almost a "Zen-like activity," very calming, etc. I'm sorry that you haven't felt much like coming to the ward and posting, but like you, I've been keeping up with it, although I don't feel overwhelmed by it (as long as I take it in relatively small chunks, heh, and don't plan on trying to post replies to everyone). Blah. I am so tired right now... :( want to go lie down and also haven't really eaten... Jarrod's going to be disappointed in me so that is not going to be a happy thing. I've eaten some but nothing you can definitively call a "breakfast" (damn it, I keep typing "supper" when I mean "breakfast," and I've no idea why!!!)... grrr. And lol, I just got so caught up in looking at photos on FB that I totally forgot I'd made myself a hot chocolate... silly me. It's really good too, dark hot chocolate, mmmm. :)

Sorry to anyone if my talking about food bothers you - I can go back and edit posts if it does. :-/ And yey, Oliver, for a FB response - I love discoursing about religion even if I'm not very good at it. :o

*hugs everyone tight*

I don't think I can do this :crying:

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs April*

Cuddles all. Can't do this anymore. =(

*Hugs Jill* Whats going on ?

*Hugs Lindsay*I think you CAN do this if you mean not S.I.ing ODing like you said last night , it's a big step but you CAN do it :)

Jill, what's happening?

Mark, how are you?

I'm so low I just don't know what to do about it.

Hi, I'm sorry for lack of being around and replies. It's partly through lack of computer access and partly the same as April. I just really can't summon the energy or motivation. No offence or anything, I love you guys.

Things are...falling apart. I don't...urgh. I can't say all that's on my mind, I just don't want them to stay this way and I'm scared of everything. I don't know...I just want this to stop. Very soon.

*Hugs Lindsey and others* Sorry there's not a lot I can say right now. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

I think I am going for a nap I laid down earlier but stayed awake , I just want away from my scars :S and yet want to add more and more .

*cuddles all* Brain won't wrap around all of the responses :o but I do want to send you all cuddles if you want them!!! I really want to take a nap too but I know that if I do I am just going to be groggier when I wake up than when I lay down... which makes NO SENSE AT ALL. Ugh. :(

*hugs everyone * Feeling unsafe the devil is strong he keeps telling me to OD

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Ryuu* Don't listen to the devil Ryuu, please be careful :S

I just lay there all awake heh , so nap aborted.

*huggles all who can accept && waves at those who cannot*

GP visit today and lots of work on assignments and other study. I'd dearly love to stop coughing. I only have 11 scripts to go until my medications are free. That would be nice ... Right now just so damn tired and so damn over it. *sigh*

*disappears into the garden to play with Puppy SinClair*

*Hands Kahlia some cough sweets*

Right well , I'm off to bed early (Again) I hope I drop of to sleep fairly fast . Numb , Numb , Numb . I want to injure but at the same time I don't want to injure , SO conflicted , In bed I can't, I'm safe there .

*Hugs Wardies*

Sleep well, Mark. *cuddles & tucks you into your ward bed* Stay safe & stay strong, big bro. <3

*hugs april, mark, lindsay, helen, oliver, RYUU, jill, kahlia, heather, taz, crimson, sarah, felicia, and everyone else*

Sorry, can't handle individuals right now. Am thinking of you all. You are all awesome people. Don't forget that.

I'm am just done for the day. you know? like finished, emotionally spent. Yet I still have to meet for a group project and then go to work tonight... so I don't get to have time to be emotionally spent.

Sleep well Mark
*hugs April* how are you?
*hugs laura* that sucks when you just want some time, but you have to do lots, hope your group and work goes well.

Just to say the walk myself and my friend are doing, we are now raising money just for charity, two charities the gender trust, a support and info based charity for trans people and the MS society, close to my heart because my mum has MS.

*hugs all who can accept*

Got a lecturer next year for 2 out of 6 modules and he's a douche. So I'm pretty angry. No recourse either because he's head of department. Grr! He angers me so much, treats everyone like they're 5, and he wonders why he gets over 1000 spam emails a day...