Hugs mark, hope your shift. Nevermind

*Huge Hugs Jill* Thanks , Don't be sorry Jill , if you need to go to the hospital to be safe then I think thats a good idea .

*hugs Taz* - well the detailed plan is there sans the date and time but I really don't think it's an issue...

So tired. Can't stop coughing. Stuggling to breathe. Just plain over it. *sigh*

*cuddles everyone*

Kahlia, please talk to someone, we don't want to lose you. Suicide isn't the answer, you know that. Things WILL get better & you won't always be struggling this much & don't we always say 'it can't rain forever' *squishes*

*Hugs Kahlia* As Taz and Helen have said ,I think it is SO important to talk to your Dr . Suicide really isn't the answer .

*Hugs Helen* How are you this lunch time?

* hugs everyone *
Going to a mental health charity today to make a safety plan and talk to them about the voices and stuff feeling bad at the moment and the voices are very loud

*hugs everyone* Please look after yourselves.

Reaper, I hope it goes well.

*Hugs Reaper* Good luck with your meeting with the mental health charity , I hope it goes well for you :)

*Hugs Lindsay* How are you ?

*Spots and Hugs April* :P

*hugs Mark* I'm a bit low, just don't know what to do with myself. Last night the voluntary crisis team told me to phone my psychiatrist but i've only just seen him less than a month ago. My support worker told me to phone my OT but I don't know what to say to her.

How are you?

I HAVE to lose weight , I'm FAT and worthless :(

Oh Mark, I wish you didn't feel that way about yourself. You are far from worthless.

Cuddles mark, your not any off those things Hun.
Hmm didn't end up going in the end couldn't make myself. So still very triggered.

Oh*Hugs Jill*

I am posting from my "shift" at the cyber cafe , I'm anxious here but it's masked quite nicely by the Diaz I took ........

*cuddles everyone*

Mark, you may have a weight that's overweight, I don't know and wouldn't possibly comment. But you are NOT worthless at all *cuddles*

Also to answer your question, I'm okay, feeling bit odd today. Putting it down to the fact I had over 11 hours sleep, soon shortly followed by 2 or so hours :|

You must have been super tired Helen ! to need that much sleep :) *Hugs*

When to the charity things appointment because i feel unsafe am going to be staying over night there and there going to do a crisis plan with me
i may have internet access so i will be around

*hugs everyone* i'll try to do individuals later tonight.

Oh and Lindsay, i think it was you that asked, no i haven't talked a doctor about my being so tired. I really think it is because i've been doing so much lately, i barely have time to breathe. I keep taking on new projects b/c apparently i have an issue with saying "no" to people lol.

Anyway, I am now applying to work as a web designer for a literary magazine. So now i have 4 classes, homework, design job at the newspaper, two web design projects for clubs on campus, and potentially another web design job. Oh, and I have to start applying for graduate school ASAP.
= busy all the time. I should sleep less. I'm just a tad bit overwhelmed.

I haven't dealt with it in the best way either. I've been cutting kind of a lot for me. Nothing really bad. Just a lot. Don't worry, I've been taking care of them.

Anyway, I'm sorry that so many of you are struggling right now, wish I could make things better.
*leaves out a basket of calorie free cookies and a ton of hugs that will last until the next time I am able to try to catch up*

*Hugs Reaper* It sounds like a good idea to stay overnight there, you'll be safe and YEY! for internet access:)

*Hugs Laura*You sound SUPER BUSY , try and take care with your S.I. don't go overboard with it , Please take care :)

*RUNS IN*

GUYS GUYS GUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!
*breathes*

Im doing a sponsored bungee jump

*Hugs Lex* WAY TO GOOOOOOOO! I could never do that I think you are so brave !!! :)

Mark, indeed I must have :P

*cuddles Laura and then everyone else*

*cuddles everyone*

Had a good day today, mah anniversary with my fiance, he bought me a huge art kit, its amazing, kinda cute because he hates art and he asked his nan to help him pick a good one :p I got him a model of a Eunos Roadster, the car he has, complex kit but it'll keep him quiet for a few hours I'm sure :p

How are you all feeling today?

They sound like exellent Presents Sarah!!

I'm at my Parents from tommorow late afternoon untill Monday early morning but My Parents are at a wedding so I'm slightly "house sitting". But I should be online on my parents Laptop , but just in case I can't get online thats where I'll be so no-one worry about me. My Diaz is wearing off but I'm glad I went to my 2nd "Shift" at the Cyber Cafe .

Has been excellent, quite the coincidence that both were craft based too :p

Got an appointment tomorrow with my doctor for medication review, not fond because I know they're not really working...

Good Luck With That Meds Review Sarah but you really should be honest if your meds aren't working for you :)

Yeah, I'm just scared they'll put me on stronger stuff, I didn't even think I needed anything but I'm not worse than when I started so I may need something else.

Well I've started my assignment that's due next month ... busy looking up journal articles and so forth. Randomly singing to myself but not too loudly because I don't want to wake my housemate up as it's only early in the morning (I've already been up for a couple of hours). It's heading on towards 4am and I'm searching online uni library databases for journal/periodical articles. *sigh* I'm a freak.

Hels, Taz, Mark and everyone: I know suicide isn't the answer. I know it Can't Rain All the Time. I know things won't always be this bad. I just don't know if I should tell my pyschiatrist and get him telling me to consider hospital or whatever when there isn't a risk and there isn't a "safe" inpatient option unless I leave town. I don't know, that probably doesn't make sense.

Kahlia, whatever you do please be honest with your psychiatrist. No one can help you if they don't know how you are really feeling.

Cuddles everybody, erm why do I have to go to extremes, before anyone in my real life see how messed up I really iam. Are they that blind or I'm I just that good at hiding it. =(

I am TRIGGERED quite badly , I know I'm going to be away at my parents and I feel like I shoulden't cut in someone else's home so I want to make up for it in advance , Does that make sense?

* hugs everyone * Am at the charity place but only can speand a little time on line as they dont really let people use forums but i managed to get on them
feeling ok at the moment missing my husband though

I hope you have a good night at the charity place reaper , Do you feel safe there? It sucks that you miss your husband though but it will only be for a short while :)

Hey Kahlia *Spots and Hugs* Are you okay ? ,Tired from getting up so early are you ?

*huggles everyone* thanks everyone. sorry about the other night, my friend is ok, thank god for facebook lol.

Hey Nicole *Hugs ya as I spots ya* How are you this evening?

I kinda feel like I'm monopolising the thread :S

Mark, please try and stay safe. I know that you can beat these urges.

Reaper, i'm glad you're feeling ok.

Nicole, how are you?

I'm also feeling triggered but the main place where I cut is covered up because I have stitches and I don't want to have to go back to A&E for more stitches so I think i'm safe for now. Will just have to put up with the feelings.

*hugs mark* ou cant spot me if i've already posted :P im gd taa, you?

*Hugs Lindsay* You CAN do it , beat the urges I mean :) Thankyou for your encouragement too :)

Well I'm tired so to bed with me heh thats the thing with diaz , they leave you drained at the end of the day sometimes but it's good that I have them when I need them .
*Night time hugs the ward*

Huggles all. Erm okay, curls up in corner. =\

*hugs everyone*
*collapses on pillows in the corner*

I'm sorry guys, I can't do individuals today.
So tired. Spent from 8 AM- 1 PM in the hospital. Couldn't breathe, my throat was closing up. I'm really sick.
On top of that, the ex head of housing at uni who's now the Student Activities Coordinator had planned a ton of stuff for Suicide Prevention Week, so I've been busy with that, since it's this week. Tomorrow I get to show a screening of the movie To Save a Life and head up a discussion.
I'm gonna end up crashing and burning by Friday. blah.

*cuddles ward*

I feel so sick :( But it's getting better..

*cuddles helen* aawh, sorry you're still unwell, although i'm glad it's getting better. are you ok other than that though?

*huggles wardies*

Been drawing tonight, drew a cat playing with wool, I suck at drawing, but its fun :p

Hope you're all safe x

To be honest Nicole, I've been much better, just been feeling sick again last couple days :S Hope it's not going to result in me being sick again :( I am okay other than that yeah :) *cuddles*

*cuddles Sarah* I'm sure you're not bad at drawing but glad you've had fun :)

Can make copies of cartoons and things, but thats about my extent, aside from modern art :p

Sorry for being a bad wardie today, been hectic. Not going to be about much tomorrow either with doctors and celebration meal and such. *cuddles for tomorrow*

*cuddles all wardies*

Got my GP appointment in about an hour. Yay. Wish I could stop coughing. It's driving me more crazy than usual. It just seems to be one thing after another at the moment ... I hope my new mobile phone arrives soon though. *sigh*

Hope they give you something to make you feel better *cuddles*

Bed for me now, night wardies *hugs all*

Curls up under a blanket in the corner, all I okay. =)

*hugs all wardies* Sorry for no individuals today. First day back at uni drained most of my energy and concentration. Hope everybody's doing alright <3

*glomps April & Oliver since I spy them*