Does anyone want to go to my appointment for me? :(

Urgh!!!! Today is going to one of those days. Today sucks, wish our vist was over already. curls up and hides. =[

Got a busy day today just filled up with crap but these things have to be done. Got my wii fit evening tonight, I've not been on it in weeks, I know thats bad for my physical health but I've been avoiding the weighing part as my ED has been so bad recently. Can't let the facade slip infront of Jo, she'll tell Eoghan. Blah....

Not sure how much I'll have chance to pop into the common room and catch up with you all again, but I'm thinking of you and caught up on last nights struggles - oh how I wish a huggle could make all the pain and bad stuff go away for you all. You're in my thoughts.

*appropriate tlc packages for each and every wardie*

*toddles off to smoking shelter before starting the days to do list!*

Horrible horrible day, roll on 1.30pm please :'(

Overslept .
Now I feel a bit grotty but I don't know how to feel other than that today.
Everyone seems to be struggling and I wish I knew what to say to make it all better.
Sorry I'm not doing individual replies , I don't have the energy right now.
I'm off to read your R/V thread April.
*Crosses Fingers for Helen*

*Cleans up spilt coffee *IDIOT**

okay... i think i'm doing well enough this morning to attempt individual replies. i think. i'm sorry if i miss you. :-S

lia, love, so glad that you were actually bang-tidy (where on earth did you come up with that phrase? lol...) yesterday. meeting new people, especially ones that are cute/seem to like you, can often lift your spirit. i'm glad that you got on well with jack. :) *hugs*

*hugs luke* sorry i've not responded to so many of your posts. but i agree with crimson, it's not necessarily how you look that matters (although i understand why that would too) but getting away from the ocd. anyway, a lot of guys look good with shaved heads. :) and whoever all suggested it, they're right - you could always wear bandannas or hats. there are some pretty awesome bandannas out there for motorcyclists... hehehe. ;) anyway... even still, could you buzz-cut it so you still have hair but not long enough to pull out? just a thought, dunno how you'd feel about that or if you'd find a way to pull it out... oh, and chamomile tea really does calm me down, i've found, just the soothing'ness of hot tea as long as it's not caffeinated really helps with the anxiety. so does moving about, jumping or running or walking fast, or even doing crunches. *extra hugs*

liz, thanks for coming out and talking to us about kat and what's going on. i'm guessing that thomas is the "dark" one of you that kat's been trying to figure out for awhile?? just taken from assumption there and from what you said about the "sick stuff" he's been making her read (*hugs for kat!!*)... sorry if i'm wrong!! :-/ and also, are you okay with hugs? *offers them in a jar in case you aren't*

*cuddles crimson* how are you, lovely?

*cuddles hels* i'm sorry that you're having an awful day, and i hope that your appt goes well. :( i feel bad, wish i could help you more or say something constructive, but i am unable to... since i don't really know what to say!! (and there, i'm blathering on again... :( ...sorry)

*cuddles hayley* i hope you enjoy the wii night. i'm sorry that your eating disorder has been so bad (i hate to sound weird and probing, but just curious, which ed do you have?? cos i have one too - ednos - just curious)... wish i could help you more with that too. feel free to pm me anytime, just to vent or whatever, because i like to think (as well) that i'm a good listener/reader. you've got my shoulder to cry on. same goes for all of you... no matter what you're struggling with, you can pm me. :)

*cuddles jill* what's up, sweet? how are you doing today?

*cuddles mark* you are not an idiot, i promise. everyone spills things sometimes... and that does not make you an idiot, nor does anything else that you've done. i think you're a sweet, lovely person that deserves love, health, and happiness... i'm sorry that you don't feel close to any of those things right now, and i wish i could zoom you along the path of recovery to get there. :( thanks for reading my r/v, it means a lot to me!! and yeh, sadly i do put stuff in there that i don't when i'm writing in my lj. i'm a bit more real there than i ever am in my lj. sorry you "have" to keep up with 2 things at once!! :-S

*cuddles kahlia* how're you holding up, love?

*cuddles nicole, julie, kathryn, taz, oliver, jk, and all of the other people i know i'm missing!!*

still at parents'. i'm going absolutely stir-crazy even though we were out of the house for a good amount of time yesterday. i just want to be out of here. i don't even know why it's so "bad" for me to be here, minus the fact that there is a lot more food. :-S

i hate myself so ****ing much. but no news there, ey? :'(

no closure on what jarrod's going to do about his job. i keeping wishing that God would provide us an answer and jarrod keeps asking me if i've got any illumination but me?! God's never spoken to me like He speaks to jarrod. it's so ****ing frustrating. it reinforces me feeling not "sane" enough to hear God's voice. or not "healthy" enough. i don't know. so frustrating. sorry if that was offensive to any of you who aren't Christian. :-S if it is, i'll delete it, just let me know.

i filled out most of the app for mercy ministries yesterday. now, to take a full length photo of myself (*gag*) and also get all of my records from the one hospital i went to for ect. guhhhh. :( don't want to go to res... :-S

*hides in the warren and cries there because she can't cry irl*

stupid comp logged me out... luckily i could copy this reply and paste it back!! :-/

It's just gone 1pm so *Roots for Luke*

It's been two weeks and I really want to give in. The urges just won't go away. It's too hard. :(

Sorry guys, I can't do individual replies right now, have to be back at W/E in 8 minutes.

*Hugs in a jar and tea to all*

Oh, and April, my friend Ronnie taught me it. It's gangster lingo fo the f word that isn't ****. Well, it actually means 'good' but same thing.

xx

Thanks for The hugs Hun, I'm here that's about as far as it goes today. Just want to hide today. today a **** day =(

Luke, I'm glad the appointment went well and hope the relaxation exercises work for you *Hugs*

*Hugs Jill* Why is today so **** for you? you don't have to say if you don't want to.

* Hugs Jessica* You can do it , I know those urges and hate those urges too , could you try and distract yourself or make camomille tea to calm you?


Me, Well I have the urge too, probably not as strong but it's building up :( *Sigh*
I'm gonna lay on my bed again today for a bit , I do that a LOT lately.

*pokes head in*
*catches up reading while everyone's away*
*avoids answering the question of how I am, though i did read it*
*hides in the garden tending the roses*

I had my appointment before my last post, but thank you April. It was horrible. I give up, I really do. I don't care, I'll just have to keep struggling on alone. Can survive just fine. Been suicidal with NO interventions (professional wise) and I'm still here aren't I???? I said roll on 1.30pm earlier as my Dad & Jane were picking me up. It's my best friend's birthday today. Wish I was with her like last year. I cried down the phone to her for over an hour - opps! Then ended up pouring stuff out to Jane (my Dad was listening) about today and stuff. So yeah, she was sweet about it :) Said I can always talk to her.

I'm sooooo sore after Alton Towers yesterday!!! Oh forgot to say, Jocelyn who used to post here came with us :D

*has read all the goings on and is in awe of April's ability to do the most amazing comprehensive reply!*

I haven't time to do proper reply as I need to clean up the mess from Reggie's play things before my wii evening. Tried to have an early dinner so that I won't be completely bloated and heavy when on the scales. I'll PM you April about my ED when I get the chance, not that I'm hiding it from anyone, but I forget the rules sometimes and I don't want to break any or trigger anyone.

Anyhoo, thinking of you all and wishing I had the time to spend on here as I've got pondering to do over whether to take new pain meds or go back on my crutches..... catch you in a flip-flop....

I've no motivation.
I don't want anything just to sleep and cut and cut and sleep.
I'm so sick of being so low , I can't shake it it must be well over a month now if not 2 , I don't actually remember the last day I was happy :( that's makeing me more low , I'm just a failure , I'm gonna lay down.

Have fun with your Wii Hayley *Hug*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Crimson*

*hugs Mark* I'm feeling much the same way as you. It's horrible.

Hugs mark, sorry it's taken so long to reply to u.today has been **** our overall manger was at our store today, so everyone was running around like blue arshed flys. And we of course get the usual **** about about they expect us to be all happy and chaty to customers. (1 i find that hard at the best of times.(2 yeah that would be fine if I acutally felt that way. But I don't , I'm having a hard enough time trying to be all happy around my parents. Urgh it's all bulls*it anyway and I don't care. =(

Wish I didn't feel so damn tierd all the time, lost count the times today that I just wanted t curl up somewhere and sleep. lieing on my bed now and I can hardly keep my eyes open.

Lindsay*Hugs* It is horrible yes.

*Hugs Jill* I'm sorry you had a crap day , maybe a cup of tea and some early sleep might help ?

*offers hugs to all wardies*

it's freaking cold. would any of you in the northern hemisphere like some cold weather?

i'm sorry so many of you are struggling. i wish that i could wave a magic wand, or just sort of lightly touch you on the shoulder and make it all better for you. :-(

my anxiety is really bad, and to top it off i have really severe stomach cramps. my psychiatrist put me on beta-blockers for the anxiety and (it's only day two) they aren't doing anything yet, but i know i have to give them time.

my housemate keeps forcing me to leave the house, but i really don't like it. i have to leave the house today .... i have to get some vitamin c, but i really don't want to. :-( .... especially because the stupid v8 racing cars are in our town this weekend.

sorry, i talk about myself far too much. i'll shut up now.

*grabs invisibility cloak and disappears*

TO April, and Hayley and all other WoW players . has WoW added an update? because mine sais it has and refuses to let me log on and I really could use the distraction , it just sais to try again later or contact technical support thankyou for your help guys , sorry this is off topic.

Like I said I REALLY could use the distraction , my left sleeve is all rolled up without me thinking about it and I'm not VERY safe , besides I really need to catch up with Hayley on WoW lol I'm so far behind and I haven't felt like playing and the one time I force myself to get off my backside and try and DO something it won't let me , Frustrating much!!

I'll take a few less degrees Kahlia, I'm finding it hot , I HATE Hot weather hmmm.

*declines the offer of lower temps (it's 59F right now... high of 64F today)* Thanks though, Kahlia. You don't talk about yourself too much you just update us all :)

Mark~ I know those of us in the states have been having mandatory updates in prep for the next expansion but we have to download the patch before it'll even let us go to the log in page so my guess is that its a server down... They may be trying to fix something and have the servers down and that would say to try again later but usually on the side of the log in it has a box that tells you if the server is down... Sorry just guessing and rambling. Could check with blizzard's website...

*hugs everyone*

Thanks Crimson , I'll try again tommorow I guess . What to do to distract myself tonight ? I could say the hell with it and go to bed but I'll just lay there stewing and end up S.I.ing , I guess I'll loiter around the ward try and help folks as they pass through

*Spots Lia* Hows you?

Helen- I'm sorry your appointment didn't go well Helen, but you don't have to do it alone. You have us. Do you already have any support outside of RYL? I'm glad you were able to talk to someone, it's more than I have ever managed. Why was it so bad? The appointment that is, what went wrong? Maybe you can give it one last shot, because believe me, you don't want to be alone. I've made myself that way and now I don't know how to ask for help anymore and it's just the worst...It's just...well never mind, just don't do it alone. No one wants to be alone, not even me.


Mark- Please do try to resist cutting. You've done it before and can do it again. Maybe you could try something to distract yourself, do something that doesn't involve lying on the bed. I know doing nothing is often the easiest option, but it can make you feel so much worse.


Angelic Monster- sorry, I don't know your name. What's up? Are you OK? I mean really, not happy mask.


Jill- Maybe you could just sleep. If you're just on the bed, you're obviously not too busy, what's the matter with an afternoon nap every now and again. Only now it will be a 9.15 nap, but still. You know what I mean. Unless you have already fallen asleep because it's taken me so long to reply which wouldn't be surprising. Sorry.


Luke- Glad the appointment went well and things seem to be better for you at the moment. Or at least for today.


Lindsey- What's the matter? Anything we can help with? Or just something that might help to get out. Don't give up though, like Mark you can resist the urges, you just gotta hang on and I know it's not as easy as all that, but you could try something to distract yourself. The very fact that you're trying to hang on shows you don't really want to and do have some will to get better. Other wise you would just give in to all the urges all the time. Just think about how good it feels when you beat an urge and focus on that.


Kahlia- I know it's hard to go out and stuff, but maybe it's a good thing people are making you do so. It's the only way you will and the only way anything is going to get any better. I for one have to be forced to do some things or I never will. Like getting out of bed. Usually, my alarm drives me so nuts I get up, I don't often want to. I had to be bullied into chemistry lessons for two years, I only scieved off one of the once. Sorry, rambling. You don't have to shut up, talk about yourself as much as you want. And WOW! An invisibility cloak! Is it one of the deathly hallows?!


April- How are you at the moment? Your post was quite a while ago. Glad you felt OK enough to do individual replies. Don't hate yourself, there's no need to. You're beautiful and strong, Jarrod's lucky to have you. If he does go, that doesn't change the fact that he loves you and you love him. I know you will be scared and I know how hard it is to cope without the one you love when they are quite often the only thing holding you up, but you can still contact him in other ways, and he will be home some of the time. It's not forever, and it's not a goodbye. Just a 'see you later'. I'm Christian too and know all of this must be for a reason, I just don't know what the reason is and wish he would enlighten me. Perhaps he has and I am just being dense. Don't worry about offending people who aren't Christian, you have ever right to your faith and if they don't believe it they don't have to comment.


Haley- How are you today? Finished tidying yet?


I'm tired of being 'OK'. I'm tired of doing this alone and I'm tired of being the strong one. Sometimes, it's so hard to do all these individual replies when all I want to do is...*breathes deeply and shuts herself up* I can't, sorry, I've said too much. (See what I mean Helen? You get stuck and it's not good. Don't get to this same place. It's lonely and horrible here. There's no company.)

*Hugs Lia* , Thanks for the truely EPIC reply post , I've managed to stay up till 9.30 , thats an ok time to go to bed right? sensible time.

Lia you seem to be having a really tough time opening up , I'm sorry you are haveing a tough time but when you are ready we will all be here to lend support , I hope you are safe *Hugs*

I dunno... How do you define OK? I'm surviving... I'm here. I'm out of bed. I'm at work. I'm functioning. I have not cut. I did eat.
Sorry but past that... like you I'm in a lonely little place and tend to shut down rather than talk about it after I get to a certain point I can't talk about it... *thanks everyone for the PM offers though* Too much going on and too much in my head... I haven't even been using r/v recently...

Oh yes... and I'm Crimson.

but I do read along even when I don't say anything... well most of the time... so I usually know what's up with everyone *hugs all the wardies*

*spies lia and hugs* sorry for the time between posts... it's just that i've been busy getting resettled back into our apartment, updating my paper journal, and cleaning a bit. it's so ****ing warm here, near 100'F in the sun i'd reckon, so yes kahlia, some cold weather please!!! hehe. umm, i'm doing alright. i'm just really worried about our future. i mean, i'm not worried about jarrod's and my relationship, as that is very good, better than most couples i've seen, which is saying something. just worried about his need for a "drastic change" in his career, which i've written about earlier. guhhh. just don't want to "lose" him to the armed forces. don't want him to go overseas, don't want any of that. i'm selfish i know, but it's something i'm soo terrified of. :'( i'm sorry for the melodrama of all of that, but... still... :-S *hides in a hole for awhile*

*wants desperately to go to the park and play on the swings but 3 more hours of work to go...*

It is a drastic change April and you have valid reason to be concerned. Does he know what type of job he'd want if he did join the military? Are you concerned about deployment or merely overseas stationing? *sorry for the 3rd degree but since I was military I can probably ease some anxiety on the issue if it's something I know about... hugs*

Lia. I'm sorry it didn't go well too. I do have to do it alone. I know I've got you, my best friends etc. I have no support outside of RYL except my best friends. Professionals just keep saying that I'm fine. Yeah, so fine that I'm wanting to die etc. I'm going to put a complaint in about today anyway and their service towards me overall with help of PALS. Hopefully. I didn't really talk to her at all. She didn't do the assessment that she was supposed to be doing. It was so bad because I broke down, so therefore she wouldn't do the assessment and it was supposed to be with an ED team, not a CPN :S Plus she said some very hurtful assumptions. That WAS the last shot. I've been trying for over 3 years. Looks like I'll have to give volunteer organisations, but they're so busy. I don't want to be alone in this sense but I am. Meh.

*curls up and cries*

Okay, question for you all - do you have any idea how, in Mozilla Firefox, you can make breaks in the text? because otherwise this is just going to be a wall of text. It's so annoying!! so I'm going to do separate posts for each reply (guhh, maybe) simply because otherwise it would be impossible to read. I think. Unless maybe I separated each paragraph with a line of asterisks or summat? ************************************************** ****** Anyway Crimson, ummm, I'm worried about deployment AND overseas stationing. I know next to nothing about the military except that it gives good benefits (heh) which is the main reason we're looking at it. Well, for other reasons too, obviously, like it would give Jarrod opportunities to advance in a career and actually do something he could be proud of, instead of working at his current job, which he is NOT proud of. Anyway. Um, he's thinking the airforce or something similar, National Guards a little, but I really really don't want him to do that. I don't even know if he could get in, and I don't want him to be on the "front lines" ... I know, I'm being so ****ing selfish... but it's so hard!!!! :'( Crimson, if you could give any enlightenment on it I'd really appreciate that!! (I don't even really know what I mean, just some information on what it's like in the military and all - and maybe Hayley could help with some info on what it's like having a significant other be deployed??) ************************************************** ****** Hels, I'm sorry that your appt was rubbish. :( That really sucks. I wish that I could do something to help you, to make those (stupid) professionals see that you really do need and deserve help. I don't understand how they can keep saying that you're fine!! (no offense intended, love, hope you understand that - I'm just upset on your behalf) But at least you have us... and like you said, volunteer organizations. Don't give up, please... ever. *cuddles* ************************************************** ****** I'm really not doing well tonight. Played WoW for a bit and that worked to distract... but I'm trying REALLY hard not to cut, and I'm not so sure that it's going to work. I've cut for the past 2 days and while not badly, it's still... addicting. Very, very addicting, as many of you know. But Jarrod NEEDS me to be healthy... :'( ************************************************** ******* *cuddles everyone else*

Well carry on talking to us and your friends. Just don't make yourself completly alone, please. Don't do what I did because then you're trapped and it's too late for me now. That sounds really dramatic, but I need saving, only I've pushed everyone out so there's no one around to do it and I have been hurt far too much to let anyone and just don't know how anymore. Please don't get to that. Really, it is so much worse. If I could drill it into you I would, just trust me. You do need someone, even if it's a friend because being alone sucks. It really bloody sucks.

April- I know you must be worried. If you knew what he was doing, you could find out more about it. Have you tried telling him how you feel?

Hey Crimson, I'm glad you're sort of ok, but then again, I am always functioning, but hardly ever OK. I know what you mean. There's an almost phyiscal barrier that stops me saying things too.

xx

It does suck. I ended up telling my Dad's partner about it and stuff (well my Dad was there & listening but yeah..) :blink: I wish someone could them see that I do need and deserve help. However, after the way I've been treated, I don't want it from that particular place I've had to go. Is that bad of me? :pinch: I don't understand how they can keep saying I'm fine either. Never will. No offence taken honey :) *cuddles*


I will keep talking to you guys (well try anyway) and my friends. I won't make myself completely alone, it sucks to feel it, let alone actual be it :( It's never too late for you sweetheart, you can turn things around. I'm scared that one day my best friends and that will stop telling me my put downs are wrong, that I'll push them away when I didn't and/or they'll run a mile. Without my very bestest best friend, I'd die. You're not alone Lia, you have us, I promise

Sorry my replies are short to you both. Am very tired & feeling sick. Going to crash to bed very soon.

Lia, Jarrod and I have talked over this extensively & he knows that whatever he does will cause me extreme emotional burdening. This is kind of an "ultimatum" to me going into res - he doesn't mean it that way, I know, but it feels like that. I have yet to tell him that. I don't know; I have to talk more about it to him. It's just frustrating that I feel the "pressure" to recover like I did in 2006, and that led to 581 days cut-free (but not SI-free, sadly) and then a relapse of "magnificent proportions" ... so yeah. I want to recover for ME... not feel like I HAVE to recover. Gahhhh. I don't know. The options, if I don't go to res/get accepted to res/become capable of holding down a GOOD job (that has health insurance & enough money for rent)... we're either going to 1) move 1200 miles, if the place he wants to go is hiring, and that would be on a rotating shift, or 2) see about him going into the military. I AM TERRIFIED. Sorry to keep rambling on about this... :crying:

*cuddles Hels* I'm glad no offense taken. I hope that you feel better soon, love, and get some good rest... you need it after the long day you've had. *extra special sleepifying & healing hugs* hehe...

Hmm sleeping not working got way to many thoughts running through my head and images as well and my mind will not shut up.
Hmm what if I deseverd what happened, I mean I really liked this guy, maybe I wanted that to happen or a lot worse. Argh Idk and this makes no sence at all. And that sounds so messed up=(

Hmm sleeping not working got way to many thoughts running through my head and images as well and my mind will not shut up.
Hmm what if I deseverd what happened, I mean I really liked this guy, maybe I wanted that to happen or a lot worse. Argh Idk and this makes no sence at all. And that sounds so messed up=(

*hugs Jill* What's up, sweetie? what happened? :-S You don't sound too well... I have a feeling that you didn't deserve what happened... but I'm just guessing from stuff you told me before. I don't know for sure. If you want to talk about it, we're here... if not, that's okay too. PM me if you feel the need to talk to someone. I know I'm not good at responding, but at least I will listen and TRY to respond... *extra cuddles*

April, what do you mean about "breaks in the text with Firefox"?

It's exactly like IE. Spacebar/Tab/Return key. - Is something not showing up on your screen? I only use FF (firefox) because IE is so buggy. - And even M$ agrees with that - in fact there was a bug in IE5-7 that they refused to fix even though they knew it was there - and I mean a security bug that meant that crackers and script kiddies could break into your machine - and all they said was that they weren't going to fix it and you should upgrade to IE8.0 as soon as possible. Bloody M$ crap.

Sorry, if you want, PM me with what's happening and I'll see if I can help.

*cuddles April* Thanks darling, fingers crossed. I do need it, been another long day. Thanks for special hugs :D

Kahlia - the return key doesn't make breaks (i.e., paragraphs) in the text of posts here. I think I need to use HTML or summat because maybe I have an outdated version of Firefox?? I'm not sure. IE worked much better for me, hardly ever had glitches, and plus I'm used to it. :) But I have to survive with Firefox for now as my computer broke and I'm using Jarrod's old "beast" of a comp, and IE doesn't run on it. So yeah. Fun times. :-/

You're welcome, Hels, sweetie. *cuddles gently and tucks up in ward bed* Sleep well... :)

First thing's first... I just press enter in the reply box and it goes to another line... sort of like typing in a Word document...

Ok . Since you are married (license and all -I'm assuming here-) when he fills out his initial paperwork you will be listed as a dependent and anywhere he is stationed (aside from deployment to a hazardous zone: Korea, Iraq, Afganistan...) you will be moved (on the military's dime) along with all of you and Jarrod's belongings up to a certain weight. So if he was stationed in Germany for his first PCS (permanent change of station) move after he arrives and gets housing (this can sometimes take a little while but not terribly long usually) you would be moved there. When the military moves you a moving crew is hired and they arrange the time with you, they pack all of your stuff (be warned if you leave a full trash can when they show up it may be packed too)-if you want certain things not packed like what you will take on the plane pre-pack it-, then you and any pets fly over and move in. Being stationed in foreign countries offers many opportunities to see many new places and things you may otherwise not have the opportunity for. No matter where he is stationed you have a higher chance of getting a job on the base than non-military dependent civilians do. Like a preference list... if you as a dependent and a non-dependent are equally qualified for a job you would get it. If he is military not national guard he'd get regular pay plus cost of living plus a food allotment and there's a program where either he'd get housing on base or the military pays for housing off base if on base housing is unavailable. The health care is decent enough and many places off base take the insurance so don't believe you're limited to just the military doctor's opinions. These days I don't usually recommend the military but I do tell anyone willing to listen that of the branches the air force is the best one for how they treat the soldier and the family, I also hear the health care is better than the other branches (I was army). As for worrying about the "front lines" typically unless he's going to be infantry or something similar he won't be as close to front lines as you'd think but truck drivers do get a majority of the problems these days with roadside bombs. He'll have to take a test to see what jobs he qualifies for then pick one from that (excluding Navy they assign you whatever job they think you should have without asking your opinion and you are assigned to a ship to be out at sea at least a yr before any land based, family living type of options open up). You may want to see if he's open to you discussing your concerns with a recruiter and when he decides on a job you being there to have them explain what it entails. No matter the branch (even part time military) he'll go to basic training, then job training before his first station.
Hmmmm... I'm sure there's more relevant knowledge up here in this head of mine somewhere but for now I think I've taken up enough space :)

*nods* even my own vent threads are neglected... even the one I don't share. *smiles at the irony of starting a thread as a journal and not using it at all* ah well life goes on, eh?

The weird thing is that FF isn't in control there in some respects. It's pure RT (rich text) like using notepad. Can you install something like IE or Google-Chrome? You could always insert the html and see if it works. What version of FF is it (out of curiosity)? Google-Chrome might be an option - though it does have a few quirks of it's own. But maybe just try inserting the html p tag in. *shrug* weird.

*curls up coughs holding my arm* to bad few days for me a got bit by a spider and now i'm sick with like flu the house so isnt tidy yet and mum and dad coming home today

*Hmm shakes head* sorry Hun I know that's annoying, just can't explain. Wish I could.
Really want my head to shut the hell up, I can't even think straight and I feel so damn light headed. =(

I feel so awful. So anxious. So freaking WARM. Why does it have to be so ****ing humid??? :'( And why do I ALWAYS (or so it seems) have to be anxious?! I hate it so much... We just got back from Walmart and I got an Icee to try and rehydrate myself... I know that super sugary stuff isn't the best but it is cold and helped cool me down. When I get warm, like today, I freaking RADIATE heat instead of sweating, since I'm so dehydrated (I think). Guhhh. I feel so stupid. Need to die. I'm useless.

Oh and Crimson, thanks for all of the info... I'll relay it to Jarrod or let him read your post. That was definitely helpful. :) Although moving definitely is not my thing... :-S And the enter key doesn't work... I've tried that. I'll try it again, here --> Kahlia, this comp ("the beast") has issues with IE. So I don't think that's an option. Maybe Google-Chrome, but I know next to nothing about that. And I have no idea what version of Firefox the beast is running... I don't even know how to check although Jarrod probably knows...

^^ Open FF, Open the Help menu, Open the About Mozilla FireFox (or whatever it's called) and it'll tell you. Google-Chrome is pretty light - but you have to add bold, italics and underlines with the buttons at the top instead of your shortcut keys unless they've fixed that issue.

Thanks Kahlia. I'm using v. 3.0.15, which I am guessing is pretty out of date?? I did figure out how to enable JavaScript though (Jarrod showed me, heh), so I can listen to music on YouTube and check my hotmail. Heh. Stupid Firefox for not being easy to use!! lol... sorry, just feel like blaming something other than my own denseness for once. :-X How are you doing? and I spy Laura - how are you, sweetie? *cuddles all 'round*