*hugs helen* Im sorry about your elbow.. but i'm super glad that you had fun at Leona Lewis! I don't remember you saying that you had a doctors appt, but if you did say it, sorry i missed wishing you luck. Maybe the mh services will be helpful this time. I hope that they dont just send you away telling you that you are fine, that would be very discouraging i would think.

*hugs april* Wish i had some words for you.. Eating stuff is such a pain sometimes. :-/ hope you are alright. I'm worried about you too.

*hugs heather* pretty picture! I'm sorry that your parents give you such a hard time. You don't deserve that. You're beautiful.

*hugs mark, JK, and becca* hope you are all alright.

I'm so tired of my thoughts going around and round. *sigh* i should tell my friend, he'll be pissed if he finds out how much i've been struggling... but i don't want to worry him unnecessarily. I havent even heard from him in weeks anyway, so maybe he wont be mad. I don't know.

*hides away*

****, why cant I be a proper guy, cant take this much longer
*hides in a deep dark corner*

It was on Friday, so yeah, you can wish me luck for Friday coming though :p I don't think I did mention it after all. She said I could see her again then aswell. So going to, need to dicuss my iron pills, just cannot take them. But I obviously need to get my iron levels up because of my anaemia and everything. I hope they don't send me away with 'I'm fine' either. It is awfully discouraging & very very upsetting & hurtful & annoying. I could rant for hours about it & did last night (well friday night) with one of my best friends. *hugs Laura lots*

Know how you feel with the thoughts thing hun, got that problem myself, even if I daren't properly admit it.

Oliver, what's wrong?

sorry, sorry, should be more helpful, shoudlnt moan should be able to deal with it, but cant its too much too far, it shouldnt happen, i hate this its all wrong, sorry being useless and selfish and taking up space
*will just hide in an invisible corner*

*offers hug to oliver*

you're not beign useless or selfish or anything liek that. pm me if you wanna chat. i dont mind listening even if i dont have advice <3

*hugs oliver* you are NOT useless or just taking up space. You know that you are always free to vent away in here, its what we are here for.

*hugs heather* how is your evening going?

*hugs helen* yea getting your iron levels under control is very important, i hope that gets sorted out for you soon. And I'll be sure to say good luck for next Friday :-P

isfine. howre you?

*huggles/waves at all*

Sorry to hear so many of us are struggling right now. Wish that I could make us feel better. :-(

My computer keeps freezing. We looked up the error it was throwing up and applied a patch given my M$. Not meant for the SP type I'm running, but we figured what the hell. The beast Mk2 hasn't frozen today, so maybe all is good? I also have been checking my email online instead of with email clients because both the freezing only started when I tried Outlook (2007) and the Windows Live Mail. Before that - I was using Mozilla Thunderbird - no probs. Meh.

Sorry, will get off the computer annoyances.

Submitted another assessment just before. Just one subject left to go in Stage 2. Not bad considering I did absolutely nothing on study yesterday.

Mood has crapped out. Meh.

*leaves hugs and safe care packages for all and wanders off into the garden*

*takes care package and thanks*

:) sowwy your mood's crap =[

*hugs and fuzzy socks to everyone*
I wish I had the attention span to reply to you all individually. I can't sit still for more then a couple of minutes most of the time. I've gotten up twice while typing this.

I did manage to sit down long enough to get a few things off my chest though. Here's the r/v thread I've started if anyone wants to read it:
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum....php?p=2349485

*takes a care pacakge and opens it finds a silly quoute some stickers and a pocket sized plush*

Some days I wish didnt have the binge eating disorder but something else dont know what but just something that didnt make me a fat cow

*snuggles with if want* [always figure will make sure cuz yeh] wish could help but am useless atm but here if wanna chat :)

*snuggles back feeling a bit sleepy* I think it is nite, nite time for Becca its 2:30am

o_O i so didnt know michigan was est. lol
good idea, i should go to bed too =p

*sits and crys and crys* i want my mummy

*Finds in the warren and Hugs April*
.
*Hugs Becca*
.
*Hugs Heather*
.
*Hugs Helen* Where are you going on your hols?
.
*Hugs Laura*
.
*Hugs Oliver*
.
*Hugs Kahlia*
.
*Hugs Jessica*
.
*Hugs Becca*
.
*Hugs Julie*

Wolf0s (Jessica ?) I read you R/V thread , Just to let you know I'm thinking of you , Bad at the advice right now sorry *Hugs*

Yep, it's Jessica.
Thanks Mark. *hugs* That's more then enough. :)

sorry, there have been a lot of posts, kind of, since i was last on... only a page but right now that seems overwhelming. :(

jess, love, i read your r/v, and i wish i could say something that would help. all of us here care about you and would be devastated if anything happened to you, even though we're just getting to know you. please keep hanging on... and maybe try to find some professional help? because it is so hard to get out of this pit by ourselves. *cuddles if that's okay?*

mark, how are you doing today? *cuddles*

hels, i hope that the doctor's appt goes well... if you don't mind me asking, why can't you take your iron pills? :-S i'm worried about you, love. please try and take care of yourself. *cuddles* and yes, where are you going on holiday? i don't recall you mentioning. :) do enjoy, though... :)

i'm exhausted today... and jarrod and i, well, i might write a little about that in my r/v but it's *adulty* stuff... so maybe not. i don't know. all i know is that we're both frustrated, he got angry with himself, and now i'm worried about him on top of all of this other crap we've got to deal with. :(

i just want to hide away forever... am so sick of this life, i really am... :'(

*hides in the warren in a dark dark place*

Thanks April :) I can't take them because everytime I take painkillers, I gag, if I try sallow, it just makes me gag and forces it back up before it even goes down =[ Plus just the thought of taking them makes me gag, so I stand no chance. Only reason I'm able to take the pill is because it's really really tiny. Although have gagged couple times with that but got them down. Why you worried about me honey?? I'm going to a particular place in Devon (it's in England) :)

I'm Triigered , too triggered , I've tried a nap was only in bed for 2 minutes m y mind raced too much so I've tried WoW and I can't get "into" it , I badly need a distraction of I WILL cut ,:( , I feel depressed and was on the phone earlier and my Mum AGAIN asked what I was having for dinner ! FFS! she keeps on at me , I'm 29 , I live alone , she can't control what I EAT! ****! , sorry that makes me so arrgg!!

Cuddles are really good right now April. *hugs* I'm going to make an appointment with my GP for next week. I'm really at a loss with what else I can do. I'm just trying to keep myself occupied until then.

My Dad died today. :crying:

Argh!!!! Iam loosing the will to live, my shoulder hurt
and I want to cut really badly. Today just sucks I just
want to curl up and cry. Sorry

*crawls into the warren*
Heyoooo
How's everyone?

*hugs OneStepCloser tightly*

*hugs tight* im sorry to hear that. i know theres nothing to say to make it better, but just know am thinking of you and take care <3

I'm really sorry to hear that darling :( *cuddles tight* We're all here for you =[

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm so sory to hear that :(

*cuddles lindsay* i'm so sorry. We are here if you need to talk hun.

*hugs everyone else* sorry I dont have much advice for you guys right now, but i am reading.

*hugs/waves at everyone*

Sorry in advance if I miss you in individual replies but my concentration and memory are really crappy:

Lindsay: I'm so sorry hun. *cuddles you* Here to help in any way we can.

Hels: Have you spoken to a Dr about the swallowing/gagging problem with tablets? Just to rule out any physical cause? I hope you enjoy your holiday by the way. *big hugs*

Mark: I hope that you managed to get through without SI but even if you didn't remember that losing one battle does NOT mean you lost the war. And, to be honest, I really do hear you on mothers trying to control what you eat. I'm 28 until Septermber, and if my mother accompanies me to do the grocery shopping she keeps making comments about what I put into the trolley and is always asking me what I'm cooking for dinner and so forth. *big hugs*

Everyone that I've missed: I have been reading what everyone has been posting, and the various threads associated with them, even if I haven't responded. I'm sorry that so many of us are struggling right now. I am thinking of all of you and hoping that there will be some light at the end of the tunnel that isn't an oncoming train.

I have to go out and buy some clothes this week. I don't really have anything suitable for winter, and winter is definitely here. I guess that happens when you have a substantial weight change in a year. *shrugs*

My mood's been really low the last couple of days although I've been putting on the "fine" mask. The facade of happiness. I've said something a couple of times and then said "just joking" when I wasn't joking at all. I don't even know why. *sigh*

*leaves hugs and safe care packages on the table and a box filled with stuffed animals beside the table* - You can never have too many stuffed animals :p

*cuddles lindsay* so sorry, hon... :(

and i updated my r/v as not to take up space in here with my whinging... :-S

*cuddles everyone else* sorry for lack of individual replies... am sooo anxious right now. :'(

gah. had dinner at 4:20... am gona be hungry later now.. bad =[

Kahlia, I mentioend it to same doctor when I went to see her about going on the pill and stuff, I think she sorta agreed it was probably related to my overdosing heh :/ But going to speak to her again about it, well I have to. So yeah...

*hugs* :sad:

:( I know your pain i lost my mom last year. how many years young was he?

*curls up in corner* so tierd o.o
how're you becca?

Bit better today.

glad you're a bit better :)
*yawn* im bored lol

Morning everyone .
Late morning that it is.
*Waves and Hugs*

I just posted my R/V link I'ts just me being self absorbed. sorry

*offers hugs to mark*

Mark, love, it's not you being self-absorbed. We all need a place to rant and just get our feelings out and I'm glad that you started one and let us know when you've updated it. I, for one, am glad to know what is going on with you and what you're thinking about but won't post here. *hugs* I'm sorry you feel the way that you do, but I can understand, because I feel the same way... waste of space/time/energy/breath/money, etc. :( I wish I could make it all better for you, for all of you, but I can't. :( *holds you*

I'm doing okay today. Have to leave for work in half an hour... ugh... only have one meeting today, though, which is good - if it's not cancelled - the poverty workgroup. I'm hoping that it's not going to be unGodly hot outside today... grrrr... that makes me so frustrated when I'm all sweaty and sticky and nasty, without having done any type of exercise at all (except running up and down stairs every once in awhile, lol). So yeah. Ugh, how I dislike hot weather. Especially when it's humid, which it is now. :(

Anyway, sorry to whinge... :-/

*spies a Mark and glomps*

*leaves a great big box of cuddles for everyone on the table - help yourselves!!* :)

I hate me, why the hell was I born. Waste of space.

*hugs Mark* You are not a waste of space.

I baked cookies! *puts them on the table* I even ate one of them.
I updated my r/v thread too.

i'll go read it once i'm done here, jess. *cuddles* thanks for the cookies, they're delicious!! :)

i spy a mark too!! *glomps again because apparently she missed the first time* hehe...

i'm at home working today... woot woot. the computer at work wouldn't work and my supervisor has the week off, so one of the other people there said i could work from home. so work from home i shall do. :) that makes me happy... closer to jarrod, closer to my blades (you didn't hear me say that), closer to food when i get hungry, etc., etc... home is just better. heh.

so i'm going to have to figure out what to do today. i still have to type up my weekly notes to my faculty supervisor so i will probably be pretty busy with that today... urgh. :-/ oh well. i have to get it done by today i think, so yeah. :-/ hope he doesn't get angry with me...

*sighs and curls up next to mark to work on her notes*

*Hugs Julie , Jessica , shadowedsoul, april :)*

So I the way it work for me is that my houseing benefit gets paid straight from the benefit people too my landlord and I found out today that it's not been paid for 2 week. I've been living here without rent , I hope it's just some computer blip and nothing serious like me being evicted! ,

To the tune of Bob the Builder,

Am I anxious ? Yes I am!

Ugh triggered.......

Is Glomped 2nd time around

Hmm my mood has gone from bad to worse. All that's
running through my mind is iwant to hurt myself really
badly. Really stiuped thoughts like everbody would be better
without me here. All I do is really stuiped stuff and cause
argro. I hate me iam such a waste of space.

Am I the only one who doesn't post about their R/V thread being updated? Think you've set off a trend here April :P

Oh & if anyone takes offence at me saying that, then my apologies, because it certainly wasn't intended.

Really worried about someone, but trying to do other stuff.

Heh. Maybe you should start posting about yours. :P It does mean that we aren't bitching in here as well though so that must be one advantage.
*hugs*