Thats no problems Lindsay , Way to go you doing a princes trust course :) And computer problems happen *Hugs*

*Hugs April* I'm sorry I was on WoW getting really frustrated becasue I need to kill 15 defias looters and pillagers and they just mob me , played for 75 minutes hardly level at all , any hints where a 17 can train? anyway thats why I missed you on FB sorry * Feels guilty*

I'm not great this evening I S.I. , I took great care in keeping it tidy , 1 tidy cut only to realise I have bought the wrong dressing and it wont stay on :( Sorry if this is too graphic say so and I'll remove it .

April I wish I could talk to you now I am so triggered you always help me.

Mustn't harm , Mustn't harm , Mustn't harm , Mustn't harm , MUST NOT HARM!!

Is anyone about?

I am about kind of, Mark... I don't think I'd be helpful though since I have to cover R's lunch at the front desk in a few minutes. *cuddles* You could PM if you like.

I'm about and can stay that way. PM box open if you need.

Taz: sleep schedule, what's that?! Miel was busy trying to protect me from shadow whilst I wrote my Rv..so I got really annoyied and told him to shove off, and then I realised that sarah was there too trying to put her own thoughts into my writing, so I told her to shove off. I got quite annoyied and said something like I wished they'd all go away, and unfortunatly rosie overheard and thought i meant her and started sobbing. So I was dealing with rosie when sarah decided to come on the VPW and post about the RV updates and she was all grump and depression so she was kind of bitchy and a very upset rosie came on and told her what for.


Mark: *hugs back* hazel sleeping better so far, so hopefully a better night ahead. I'll pass that hug on to rosie but she's asleep now. Sorry that you are having so much of a struggle tonight. Anything we/i can do? Lots of love and prayers coming your way.

Mark, love, I'm on FB right now. So feel free to message me, email me, whatever. :) *huggles* I'm sorry that you're not doing too well, seems like a lot of us aren't... glad the wound wasn't too bad though. Hopefully you can get a better kind of dressing for it shortly. Um, you usually only train at even levels... the warrior trainer in Stormwind is in Old Town I believe. If you haven't gotten training in awhile you might want to do that - it's something you should do before you "ding" even levels. :) Yeah, the quest for the Defias pillagers/looters is REALLY hard... the trick is not to go all the way into Moonbrook but to kill the ones on the outside of it and wait for them to "respawn" (reappear). That's how my level 13 rogue did it... hehe... and my level 18 pally couldn't do it. Go figure. :-/

Anyway.

*cuddles everyone* Sorry for the lack of individual replies... am not feeling too well right now (anxious and really want to cut) and am nervous too because my mum printed off the application package to one of the places I'm going, and I'm going to be taking a look at that tonight. :-S So scared... you have to make at least a 9-month pledge and then it can be up to 12+ months there, at this particular place. But it's free, and it's not TOO far from home.... just a few states away. Heh. :-X

Anyway. So freaking tired. :'(

*hides in the warren to doze*

I just made a R/V thread ,
This is the link
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...80#post2335180

I think it could be triggerering but if you who are safe would have a look I'd appreciate it , I've never had a R/V thread before , I hope its not to self obsorbed

perfectly safe so gonna read. and that's what they are there for.
EDIT: have read and PM'd *huggles*

*HUGE HUGS for Kat*
Thankyou for PM'ing me and giving me something to mull over . I hope you and Hazell have a good nights sleep :)
Goodnight April *hugs*
Night*Crimson*
Night*Lindsay*
Goodnight the rest of the ward ,

*Leaves hot choccy and Camomille tea on the table*

*climbs out of crate*

*huge hugs for mark* my pleasure sweetheart, I just hope I have managed to be of some help.

I'm off to bed too, shame to waste hazel's good sleep patch. Nightnight ward.*grabs a mug of hot choccy and settles back down in crate*

*huggles/waves at all*

I apologise in advance for the lack of individual replies.
I had a really crap nights sleep last night. Normally I can handle bad nights, but I find it easier when it's not sleeping at all. Last night I just kept waking up. It wasn't because I was cold, or because I wasn't tired or any of the usual culprits. I just would wake up, then take quite a while to get back to sleep. I got out of bed 10 minutes before my alarm went off and decided that with things the way they were going I might as well stay up. *sigh*
I'm going to be all emotional and a pain in the arse today. I think I'll have to apologise to my housemate this morning. Just so that he knows that if I "bite his head off" it probably isn't really him - and the same if I burst into tears.
It would have been so much easier if I had just not slept at all . . .

hi everyone,

sorry i haven't been around lately. been thinking of all of you, i just dont feel like i could say anything helpful right now, so i guess i've been avoiding. didn't want anyone to think that i completely disappeared though b/c i care deeply about all of you. plus there is no need to bring in my own crap here b/c i can't even explain it, so i would just be saying vague things that people wouldn't understand. again i'm so sorry. i'm just in a really bad place.

<3

Laura: *big hugs* I'm sorry you are in such a bad place at the moment. Don't worry about not being able to say anything helpful to us, your presence is more than enough. Please feel free to drop in when you can and just tell us how you are doing, or more if you feel you are able to, because I (I can't speak for the group) care about you and what is happening with you. I guess that all I want to say is that whenever you can drop by and see us, we'll be happy to see you, regardless of how you are doing sweetheart. You are a part of the VPW group, so we care about you. *huggles*

That goes for all of you by the way. We're all part of the VPW group and we do all care about what happens to each other. *offers everyone hugs and safe care packages as well as stuffed animals*

- Anyone think this place is going to be overrun by stuffed animals shortly??!

*cuddles everyone and wonders if her invisibility cloak is in full working condition, oh seems to be*

Sorry I've not really been round these last few days, been busy & in a better place, so tend to come on a bit less :S

Think I might go play the Sims, started playing it again last night :D I love how I go for weeks without playing it then spend weeks/months having to be on it everyday aha!!! Been playing it since I was 13 I think :/ Am 20 now, so a good 7 years. Maybe less/more hm. Just half wish I got it when it first came out, oh wells.

*hugs Hels* - Nice to see you. Good to hear you have been in a better place. You'll have to give me the details of your invisibility cloak ... I could really do with one at the moment lol.

i'm really not in a good place right now...

...am alone and want to cut badly. :'( and can.

updated r/v.

*hugs april* im around if u want to talk.

*hugs kahlia and helen*

Kahlia, it's kinda good to be round here :P *passes you secet details* :P *cuddles lots*

April, try not to cut sweetie.

Laura *cuddles*

April: I'm sorry you aren't in a good place. Please try not to harm sweetheart. *offers cuddles if you can accept them*

Laura: *huggles* How are you doing?

Helen: Thanks so much for the secret details. :-) Hope you are still feeling good. *cuddles you*

Very, very tired. *sigh* I hate broken night's sleep. But I'll stop bitching about it. At least it's a little bit warmer. My fingers are only partly frozen - lol.

I'm okay. Worried about one of my best friends. Never do stop worrying about them really. Just more worried than usual.

Hels, I really know that feeling well sweetheart. Just remember, as hard as it can be, to take some time for yourself as well. *cuddles you*

it was over 90 degrees here... GROSS. haha

*whines* my foot hurts :notsure:

*curls up small*

DBT is Dialectical Behavioural Therapy... It's mainly used to treat Borderline Personality Disorder (but I don't have that).
Its supposed to help you get in touch with your emotions... or something... and help you control them, meditate, and brings in touches of Buddhism to the whole thing. It's also useful for mood spectrum disorders, as well as helping to beat the urges in self harming and is useful for survivors of sexual abuse.

I guess that's why she chose it for me then...

*Hugs Kat * I hope you slept well and Hazell too.
.
*Hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry you had a crap night , I hope your day improved .:)
.
*Hugs Laura*You are always welcome here , I for one care whats going on with you :)
.
*Hugs Helen* HEEE I've never played the Sims but you seem to enjoy it , yey!Happy that you are in a better place :)
.
*Hugs April* Sorry you are in a Bad place , please try not to cut ,you are worth so much more than that .
.
*hugs Heather* 90 Degrees . Crickey , remember to keep covered up , or in the shade .
.
*Hugs Julie* What have you done to make your foot hurt ? :S
.
*Hugs Kitkat* Good luck with your therapy, I've had CBT in the past , not sure if they are similar?

Ugh , sorry to be my usual whinging self , I can't leave the flat , I've got NO energy , I just feel lazy ,I have no motivation to do anything , I hate this depression , HATE it!!, I don't know how to function anymore:(

*hugs/waves at all ward mates*

Heather: Your post made me miss summer, lol. I'm sorry it was so hot for you though. We get some nasty weather in summer, 34+ degree (Celsius) with high Humidity, so I can understand where you are coming from. *glomps*

Julie: Sorry to hear your foot hurts. Have you done something to injure it? *offers huggles*

Kathryn: *hugs* I have DID and schizoaffective disorder and have been treated with CBT, DBT and ACT at different times. The DBT did absolutely nothing for me, not even in relation to my SI, but I hope that it does something for you. I knew that ACT had touches of Buddhism as it is basically a therapy created from a mix of the two, but I wasn't aware that DBT did. Interesting. Anyway, to echo Mark, good luck with your therapy.

Mark: *cuddles* My day has been extremely interesting. Thank you very much for your well wishes.

Things today have been . . . interesting. I wrote about it in my thread, and to save re-hashing you can just read it there. I've only linked to the post in question, so please feel free to alter the URL if required.

Very, very cold and very, very tired. I think I shall sleep.

Wow Kahlia thats a lot to read , I can't do that right now ( Focus of a knat) but I'll try to try again later ok , sorry

I didn't cut last night... but I came pretty close... then Jarrod came home. :-S He doesn't know how bad it was... :-/ ...and I'm not going to tell him.

I'm really quite tired... got up about 20 minutes ago. I have to write my "midterm report" on my internship, and I have no idea how to do that!! It's supposed to be in APA style, which I know, but I don't know exactly how he (my advisor/faculty supervisor) wants me to do it - because I don't think I'll be using any references? So I really have no clue... feel so stupid. :( And I NEED to get this done, it's not just something I can "skip over" because I think it counts for a lot of points and I don't want to get a C or something on my internship. :'(

I'm so sick of this. I just want uni to be OVER WITH. :'(

*hides in a deep, dark part of the warren where no one can find her* :'(

*hugs Mark, Kahlia, April, Julie tight*

April, I love your birthday pics and your cello rocks. Its nice to see you HAPPY! in those photos, hang on to it babe, you totally don't need to respond to my PM, I just wanted you to know I care 'K?

Kahlia, I read your post, as I read most of your stuff. Wish I could be here more for you, but that's cool. I am here, and one day you might want to talk *hugs*

Taz, you are quite awesome, and your replies must be hard work and are very much appreciated *also hugs*

Kat, your response a few pages back is epic, and don't think I'd ever be up to that level of detail and commitment. Thank you.

Laura, I am worried about you and feeling for you. I've offered before and I do it again, I'm here if you need to talk

Helen, I still here for you too hun.

Julie, what happened to your foot babe? Nice to "chat" to you today

To everyone else, I am thinking about you all, but once again have had meds and too much to drink [note to self must stop that]

I miss Nicole and Oliver and often wonder where they're at *sighs*

Hayley and Crimson you guys too I look up to and love it when you're around.

Today I have been "passively suicidal" which kinda sucks, but made it through and off to bed now. Rahhh.

Anyway, raving now, nite all
xx

dad thinks maybe i rolled my ankle and my combat fitness class

*Hugs April * I'm sorry you are having a hard time of it , I Just missed you on FB I had set my P.C. to shut down and then you poked me and by the time I got back online you were gone , really sorry , I don't really understand your uni stuff having never attended myself but I'm sure you can do your internship and do it really well , you did the main bit of uni now how many weeks of your internship have you left? You CAN do it , I totally beleive in you April :)

Ohh April you added me as your RYL Brother , made me smile :) TY

Hi everyone.

*waves* hi.

*offers hugs to all*

Kahlia, I do take time out for me ;) Am still very worried about said best friend (and now my other one too), can't get in contact because her phone's either off or dead as it's going straight to voice mail =[

*cuddles everyone who can accept them*

I spies a Hels!! :D and a Wolf. :D

Welcome, Wolf (I don't know your first name so is there anything you'd rather be called?) - both to this thread and to RYL. :) I'm April.

Hey Lindsay... how are you doing? & how are you liking the course you're taking? (sorry, don't know exactly what it is!!)

Hels, I'm sorry that you are so worried about your besties. That has to be really rough on you. *extra cuddle* I hope you take some healthy time for you... :) because you deserve it.

Kahlia, having a broken up night of sleep really does suck. :( No worries about "whinging" about it... it's really hard keeping up with, well, life, when you're exhausted. (Hehe - tell me about it - even though I get plenty of sleep I'm always exhausted.) How are you doing otherwise?

Laura, hon, I'm worried about you too... PM box is open whenever. Please remember that, 'kay, love?

Mark, love, how are you doing this morning/afternoon? Hopefully better than you were yesterday - so sorry we couldn't chat for longer, wish we could've. :( But I had to go out to eat with my parents and sister, otherwise I probably would've cut or something, I don't know. :-S I'm so glad that I help you though!! *extra cuddles*

JK, how are you doing, sweet? ♥ Hopefully sleeping as I type this... :)

Kat, Kathryn, Oliver, Julie, Nicole, Taz, Shaz, and anyone else I missed - how are you all doing? *cuddles all*

I'm really tired. Just got back from shopping, got a few things... and Taz, I'll try to take a pic of that panda shirt just for you. ;) Although probably not on me as I'm, erp... yeah... ugly. :-S

Jarrod's off doing his motorcycle safety training course now, it's 10:10am and he'll be gone for another while, makes me want to cut 'cause he's out having fun and I'm not really, and I'm stressed over my internship, and I'm alone and lonely............. :crying:

Never mind. I'll be okay.

:-S

My first name's Jessica. I'm not really fussed what people call me, as long as it's nothing insulting. :) *hug*

Hi Jessica *Waves*

Hello there my fellow wardies! I've popped in on an outpatient basis as I promised I would!

*goes around the ward to give appropriate tlc to all her wardmates*

So busy as usual with the unfortunate usual struggles :( I so wish that I could wave a magic wand and help you all more. *sends out positive thoughts and comforting prayers*

I've been doing ok. Wasn't sure on the 3rd of june if I could celebrate 11 months free or not as I had the slip up last month....but it was only 1 little cut....I just feel like I'd be lying if I said I was free....but then only you guys in here know that I slipped up, so to people IRL I am 11months free....hmm...

Anyhoo, Reggie the rabbit had his bunny health check and 1st injection yesterday and is settling in well but really doesn't want to be handled. I may not be cutting atm, but my arms have never looked so bad!! (though thats cos my place of choice was always my legs...anyhoo...) He likes being stroked when its on his terms, but when he wants to play he has none of it! Apart from the awkwardness in setting up the laptop cos of the wires and having to make sure he's in his hutch when I do my physio, our first week together went smoothly. I think its really good for me to have him now, the time passes so much more quickly and he keeps my mind focused on him other than random thoughts. So now with no PMDD to deal with, I think he'll be great furry therapy for me to help me cope with the depression I get due to my M.E.

Sorry to waffle about me, but I wanted to share my good news and improvements with those who I shared my struggles with. You all mean a great deal to me and are always in my thoughts and healing prayers.

*toddles out to smoking shelter*

"oh puppy sinclair are you coming out?!"

*sprays self with pretty smelling stuff so as to not stink of fags*

Eoghan will be round soon for dinner and a dvd evening, but I've just noticed that I'm one quest away from acheiving 250 quests! Whoop whoop!! So think I need to try and complete a quick quest before he arrives! Hope my fellow WoW'ers are still enjoying themselves and finding it a good distraction.

*extra tlc for all those who want it*

*Pounces on Hayley*
Hey I think 11 months counts , Well done you!!! *Bounces* I Drank over a 10 day period and went back to sobriety and I know how a "blip" go's . Glad you are having fun with your bunny , It would be so cool if I could have a pet but wer're not aloud, although they have fish and a parrot in my neighbours so hummmm I don't know .
*Squishes Hayley*

I spy a Hayley and a Mark!! Mark, I poked you on FB and you're not responding... *pouts* Lol, it's okay if you're otherwise occupied. :)

Hayley, so glad that you're doing so much better!! *cuddles* And thanks for updating us about everything... :) I've missed your posts. Have you played WoW lately? If so, how's it going? :D I just got off it actually, started mining on my hunter (level 39, has been for about a year, lol - she's the only toon I have that I don't play on without Jarrod, because she was my first toon and so is very special to me :D)... wheeee. I love leveling professions, hehe, and she didn't even have any!! :-O And I moved my miner to another server, so I decided she should be the one to mine. Woohoo. :) Anyway... glad that Reggie is settling in well. Yeah, rabbits can be cccrazy when they're playing!! lol... I'm sorry you're all scratched up though. :(

Mark, how are you?? *cuddles*

I'm really tired and I've a bit of a headache going on at the moment... my shoulders are tense too... I think it's because of all of the stuff that I have going on today. Well, I don't have anything going on but I REALLY NEED to write that stupid midterm report and I have no clue how to do it, so yeah... will probably just wing it. :( Hate doing that!!!

*deep sigh* :(

Jarrod should be home soon... yey.

Oooh 250 quests... hehe... that's awesome. :D

And yes, I do think that 11 months should count!! even though you had a "blip" in the middle... so CELEBRATE!!! *does the happy dance just for you* :D

*huggles*

How am I ? Hmm well I haven't cut , but I want to , I crawled out of bed at 10.30 am then went back to bed from 1 - 4 pm then got up shopped for cereal , made and eat dinner despite not feeling like food and thats brought my here , I'm really low . Horribly depressed right now , I want to hurt myself and I don't know why, well I know why , but I don't know the why of the why , make sense? , I a going to try a distract myself on WoW for a bit . I HATE depression :(

Sorry April I was dinner making / eating when you poked me :)

*hugs Mark*

*Hugs Lindsay* Thankyou :)

*cuddles all*

Good to hear from you Hayley *squishes you lots*

Sorry for the lack of individual posts...

Helen ! *Hugs ya*

Maaaark *hugs tight*

*cuddles Hels* What's up, love?

*cuddles Mark* Awh, sweet, I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. :( I wish we could've talked on Facebook, just went on there now and you were still "idle" so I daren't poke you again, heh. Hopefully you are feeling a bit better after/during playing WoW... I know that it usually helps me some. :) Are you glad that you started playing?

I spy a Laura!! *cuddles* How are you, hon? I'm worried about you...

I'm at my parents' right now, hanging out and just having fun, although I've almost fallen asleep twice. Haven't started on my midterm report because, well, I don't know what to say in it!! Very very frustrating. :( My prof hasn't emailed back yet about it... I didn't expect him to within a few hours but I was hoping... :( GRRRRR!!!!

Tonight there's a thing at our church for college-aged/young adults... I think that Jarrod and I are going but it's from 8pm-11pm and I am pretty sure that I will be dying from exhaustion halfway through. Ugh. Usually at the latest I am in bed by 10:30pm, and we won't be home until 11:30 unless we leave a bit early. :-S Gahhh... so I'm not positive that we'll be going.

*sighs*

*hides in a dark corner* :(